"UK's #1 toady bum kisser"
Number two, surely. Definitely a "jobbie", either way.
111 posts • joined 11 Oct 2010
Just one drone would probably do it, if designed specifically for the purpose. The trouble with lugging meat about up there is how squishy it is, 9 or 10G in a snap over perhaps, but less in a tight turn. Take the meat out of the aircraft and it will be capable of performance which would mince a human pilot inside their G suit.
Customer: "I'd like to upgrade to the most expensive phone plausible please!"
Salesmonkey: "Certainly, may I see your photo ID please?"
Customer: "Here you are."
Salesmonkey: "Thanks... may I see the phone and SIM you're upgrading please?"
Customer: "Errr... no sorry, I've left that at home."
Salesmonkey: "Oh dear, never mind the security risks, let me process that transaction for you anyway so my bonus this month is nice and fat."
It's an UPGRADE. "Show me the thing you're upgrading or get the fuck out" should be (with photo and card ID which you'd require from the article) the absolute minimum requirement!
Some clients of mine with differing use cases of productivity software spring to mind.
Client one, had MS Office 2003 and 2007 in a mixed environment, installed on Windows 7 boxes with a Windows SBS2008 server and used only three products, Outlook, Excel and Word. They upgraded both 2003 and 2007 office installs to MS Office 2013 Home and Business as, at the time we were told a site license was unavailable for fewer than 100 seats. Total cost was just shy of £5k and they'll continue using it for a minimum of 5 years. Projected cost of O365 for the same period assuming no price rises ~ £7500. Saving from not using O365 ~ £2,500
Client two, had MS Office 2003 exclusively, installed on Windows XP boxes with a 2003 SBS server. Their usage included basic spreadsheets and text documents only. They upgraded the SBS to Server Essentials 2012 on their existing hardware, the workstations to Win 7 Pro and switched to LibreOffice and Thunderbird. The workstations they had to upgrade anyway, the server software was £300 or so and the cost to upgrade office was £0.00, projected cost of O365, just shy of £3k over a 5 year period. Saving from not using O365 ~ £3k call it £2.7k if we factor in the SE2012 instead of using OneDrive.
Client three, MS Office 2003 on Windows 7 machines but they're fixated on MS Publisher and have MS Access database requirements. Cost to upgrade to Office Standard and purchase additional Access licenses where required almost £5k, cost for O365 more like £3k. Saving by using O365 ~ £2k
There are savings to be made with O365... if your use case lends itself to it. On the whole, not so much for small businesses.
A solution, providing you have or can quickly implement a login script.
Add the following snippet to the script where it will be run for all users:
REM Remove all Lenovo Software Products
wmic product where "vendor like '%lenovo%'" call uninstall /nointeraction
Or if you're loath to be without SHAREit etc. but still want rid of the 'Solution' center, use the following:
REM Remove Lenovo Solution Center (sic)
wmic product where "name like '%lenovo solution center%'" call uninstall /nointeration
There could be a weird Wellsian backflip that occurs there, where a relatively benign bacterium from Earth carried by one of our own probes, learns new tricks from some nasty corrosive environment, flickknife wielding Martian bacteria and turns into the thing which prevents human colonization of Mars, much as the 'common cold' did for the Martians in War of the Worlds.
For balance, check how much HMS King George V, HMS Rodney, a pair of cruisers and the best part of a squadron of destroyers dealt to Bismarck before rendering it unable to fight back.
Modern, for the time, battleships were significantly better armoured than the, even refitted, Hood.
EDIT: Pertinent bit from Thickipedia added; "The four British ships fired more than 2,800 shells at Bismarck, and scored more than 400 hits, but were unable to sink Bismarck by gunfire"
Probably... if they didn't have to do anything more than "Monkey see app, monkey press app, monkey like app, monkey rate app 3 stars, would have been 5 if free"
For the supersimian, OpenVPN is still free if memory serves and has a free Android & IOS app - choose your OpenVPN host and attendent proxy and, while I can't burden this with any proof, your UIDH worries could well be over.
I wonder how you could apply the principle in his open letter on advertising (have a look here if you've not seen it: http://static2.thedrum.com/uploads/drum_basic_article/110260/main_images/bansky-bottle_0.jpg) to something delivered electronically?
I'm sure a brighter spark than I will figure it out and there will be much hillarity when the 'smart' machine in the gents, instead of asking if you'd like "Anything for the weekend sir?", informs you "Don't buy this chewing gum, it tastes of condoms!"
Technically, all energy is 'renewable' since it can be neither created nor destroyed only transformed. In the eyes of a marketing or P.R. dept. I'm sure that gives lots of scope for ommissions e.g.
"All our data centres use 100% renewable energy sources. [omit]Some of those sources may require millions of years to 'renew'[/omit]"
My condolences to the bereaved.
The data protection acts in the UK don't apply to the deceased. It is also perfectly legal in the UK to resell/transfer your licences to downloaded software as of the judgement of the Court of Justice in the EU on the 3rd July 2012 (Directive 2009/24/EC – Articles 4(2) and 5(1) – Exhaustion of the distribution right – Concept of lawful acquirer) - the only stipulation is that your own use of transferred software must cease on (or before, I would assume) transfer. There would appear to be no legal basis to deny the new legal owner(s) of a device access to their property.
Any company may stipulate anything in their T&Cs. However, that doesn't make it legally binding or enforceable other than by threat of unaffordable legal costs should the judgement not go the way of the party least able to afford it.
I'll be buying lots more insulating tape in the near future... black for preference, because black goes with anything and is very slimming. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm quietly confident that blocking the lens of a camera, provided it's not an 'official' (police/speed/CCTV etc.) one with something easily removable and which does no harm to said lens, isn't illegal. It would also create a need for someone to go and remove it... such people would need employment, a vehicle, work clothes, hi vis etc. etc. all of which creates demand and therefore more employment. A boost to the economy all round.
Break out the electrical tape people - it's a win win win situation (third win because it would tick off Beardy Al a treat)
...it's a potentially great interview technique to sort the wheat from the chaff - fall for an internet scam, particularly straight from doing a technology related degree, go to the bottom of the list when it comes to face to face interviews or the back of the line when it comes to salaries.
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