* Posts by Autonomous Cowherd

43 posts • joined 3 Oct 2010

Facebook posts put Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli in prison as a danger to society

Autonomous Cowherd

'Confirm the sequences'

I'm assuming sequences refers to DNA sequences, but can anyone enlighten me what may be meant by implication? I'm rather curious!

Is that you, HAL? AI can now see secrets through lipreading – kinda

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: Lipstick

Potentially. I wonder if you've come across CV Dazzle - a similar concept for facial recognition... https://ahprojects.com/projects/cv-dazzle/

Nissan reveals self-driving chair

Autonomous Cowherd

Someone in the marketing department clearly enjoys Pixar.


Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: Parallel Universe?

I think David Bowie may have been channelling and consuming the overspill of the surreality that occurs naturally in the world. We were already at a surreality-overload due to the passing of Terry Pratchett last year; a major consumer of background surreal. Unfortunately, as they have both left this mortal coil, we have been slowly drowning in a reality created by unfettered and unfocussed imagination that has been over fed on the aforementioned surrealness.

Check the timeline, I think you'll find some striking parallels. I am praying for another psychedelic hippie revolution to act as an outlet, before things get really weird. Like, bad trip/Trump in control of America kind of weird. Because smartphone zombies are thankfully still at the surreal whimsy stage.

Sysadmin 'fesses up to wrecking his former employer's IT systems

Autonomous Cowherd

Prison rape

Rape is indeed very funny. Well done all of you.

RIP Prince: You were the soundtrack of my youth

Autonomous Cowherd

I hope that this isn't true, but if it is, please accept my deepest condolences.

Coming in 2014: Scary super-soldier exoskeleton suits from the US military

Autonomous Cowherd

Any chance...

We could stop spending ridiculous amounts of money on machines to effectively kill/assist killing people?

At some point, you've gotta start wondering when a large and *consistently profitable* military industrial complex makes you 'the baddies'.


UK.gov forks out £250k to rescue EROTIC novelists and pals from PIRATES

Autonomous Cowherd

Seems like a good use of taxpayers money.

I wonder how much was spent on the quango's wages as they wrung their hands in angst?

Good thing that there aren't any more worthwhile ways we could spend that money..

Snowden: NSA whacks US in the WALLET, slurps millions of contacts books

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: Tinfoil hats

There's an interesting book called:

"Toxic Sludge is Good For You: Lies, Damn Lies and the Public Relations Industry"

It runs through a number of the tactics used to discredit various movements. One of these was creating association with organizations or groups that seem crazy or undesirable would be used to stop movements gathering power. (In the old days, C18 would show up to demonstrations. These days, association by propaganda machine seems to be the order of the day)

Sadly, or perhaps by design, many of the actual gems of insight from the TFH community are being lost and discredited by some of the...er....less objectively true...things.

The term 'conspiracy theorist' brings up an image of nutjobs; well meaning but deluded, screaming that the sky is falling. However, this is not always the case. I would guess, in fact, that it is rarely the case.

Rap news gives quite an entertaining perspective, pitting the conspiracy theorists against the military. (Terrence Moonseed vs General Baxter)


We live in a world where a small group of people conspire to gain advantage, no matter the cost to other people. That's why there are competition and antitrust laws. Its also why the police force and political sphere must be held to account by the judicial system.

I feel that 'fringe' investigators are very important, but its also important that they don't allow their real findings to be diluted by the additions of a paranoid fantasy, or by false 'leaks' about how many tentacles <insert political puppet> has.

Snowden's email provider gave crypto keys to FBI – on paper printouts

Autonomous Cowherd

Seperation of powers


This is why the seperation of power of the Government, Judiciary, and Police is so important, and why the abuse of secret investigation is so very dangerous.


This talks about the system in the UK, but the principles hold true wherever you are.

Perhaps a silent coup has happened in America in our lifetime, and we havent quite realised yet...


'Symbolic' Grauniad drive-smash was not just a storage fail

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: thuggery isnt it?

IIRC They decided to destroy the equipment, as they would not be allowed to tell anyone about it if they were taken to court.

NORKS prepping glorious People's Smartmobe

Autonomous Cowherd

"Just like in the US/UK." New glorious happy fun game to try!

Want to try a fun game? Go down the comments and see how many things actually apply to the west these days.

"In other words, it can automagically censor you, monitor you and spy on you when you use it.."

Just like in the US/UK!

As to poverty and starvation in the populace - we're not in as bad a state as we are led to believe NK is, but we should perhaps not laugh too loudly...

A significant proportion of America is hardly well fed.


Food banks are becoming an essential part of life for many in the UK. (To the tune of 250k in 2012-2013)


Can Microsoft's U-turn stop the Xbox 360 becoming another XP?

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: PS4 all the way for me. There are still too many problems with the Xbone


Region locking: 4th Paragraph from the end.

No mention of the Kinect though.

'Hotmail, since you changed to Outlook, you've been a massive pr**k'

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: Outlook App on Android

I have used a Hotmail account since the mid 90's. Haven't had a problem with it, as I've largely liked or ignored what they have changed. I dislike being forced to upgrade (As the old app is turned off by ms) to an application which does not allow me to choose how I view my emails. No font size (the large font is ridiculous, cant see the full name of most people). It doesn't wrap emails, so I have to scan left to right. Its SO.FNUGGING.BRIGHT that I'm sure I'm getting a tan.

I am pretty sure that someone in MS User Experience Development is somewhat obsessed with being considered 'stylish', Forgetting that a quiet majority of MS customers simply want to do the things they are used to doing in marginally, incrementally easier ways.

Its not MS bashing, as a tribal thing. Its MS bashing, because they are doing silly things.

Also, I'm amused at how Eadon has become a minor celebrity. Well done!

Chinese graves use quick response codes to recall the dead

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: QR Code supermarket

I clearly didn't re-watch the video before posting. They do deliver when you get home!

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: QR Code supermarket

One application would be in this case:


Where a QR based store is vinyl on the glass of a subway station. Very innovative idea, and there are some benefits to seeing a life size picture of the item you're purchasing.

South Korea has a large fleet of delivery men, so it would theoretically be possible to order on your smartphone in Seoul subway, and have it delivered to your house not too long after you are home. I don't think anyone offers this service yet, but this is a step towards it.

First FIRE TORNADO documented in Australia

Autonomous Cowherd


That sounds awesome, and terrifying. Thanks for sharing.

Naughty-step Apple buries court-ordered apology with JavaScript

Autonomous Cowherd

Re: Contempt yet?

This behavior seems similar to that of a bratty child doing everything they can to test the limits of a teacher who they know ultimately cannot do anything to harm them.

At this point, my interest in the case is no longer about the original ruling.

In my opinion, they are acting like they feel they are above the law. They are showing clear contempt for the British legal system, (or simply any legal system that doesn't rule in their favor). Up to this point, contempt was a grey area. I don't think its as fuzzy anymore.

I hope there are repercussions for this!

We don’t talk any more... on the commute

Autonomous Cowherd

Tube trolling

A couple of my friends are proper Londonites. I enjoy trolling them (not at rush hour) by being moderately active, looking around at other travellers and talking to them (my friends) on the tube. Its like nails on a chalkboard to them. I love my friends dearly, but I will continue my personal crusade to break the London conditioning.

I think people are missing a trick though. If we got used to exchanging pleasantries with the people we travel with (for two hours a day, every day of the week especially for longer overland commutes going into London), perhaps we would build a business network. Respect each others desire to not talk, of course, but everyone is feeling the same, so shouldn't we all be friends? (Then I can troll you too :-D )

Boffins drill into human language by terrifying chimps with vipers

Autonomous Cowherd

Do not feed the troll.

CellDoc, though you may be a scientist, you are not a boffin.

You have used more offensive terms in your comment posts than could be construed from the use of the term boffin.

Away with you, troll.

ANONYMOUS: Behind the mask, inside the Hivemind

Autonomous Cowherd

You didnt ask for my opinion, but here it is anyway!

I believe that debunking Fox News, or any other major news outlet is a really valuable thing! I think this should be encouraged, when done correctly. Why not consider it to be like the peer review process?

Many people base their worldview and decisions unquestioningly on the authority of the goggle box.(Not to be confused with the Google box; the content of the Google box is completely fine to unquestioningly base all decisions on.)

As the news outlets have so much power, and as we all know they are being selflessly run for the spread of truth and wellbeing of all, I would expect them to applaud and encourage the army of unpaid volunteers checking their 'facts' for the lulz... er...I mean: mistakes.

As a final note, Thanks for publishing this article El Reg, liked it a lot - good job!

Superphones: A security nightmare waiting to happen

Autonomous Cowherd

Schrödinger's Virus?

"I haven't run antivirus software on any of my home computers ever with exactly no virus infections during that time."

You dont happen to have a quantum computer do you?

(I've recently (reluctantly) moved over from an increasingly bloated AVG to Microsoft Security Essentials. I'm actually pleasantly suprised, would reccommend. Seems unbloated, no adverts, flags up naughty files and its free.)

Gates: Killing the internet is easy

Autonomous Cowherd

Mesh FTW, FTW.

The undergraduate research project I was part of was to make a secure, dependable storage system for ad hock networks.

By making each fragment look after its own distribution, you can make stored data very difficult to destroy, without clogging an entire mesh with redundant copies. (like zombies, you have to kill every.last.one.)

I'd love to see a proper self organising mesh network which is truely free! no need to pay anyone to get on it, noone has the power to turn it off. (and we shall call it... Syk-ent!)

I'd love to see how the topological problems of a dynamic network are solved.

UK proximity payments by phone this summer

Autonomous Cowherd
Big Brother

The title has retired, and must constrain hatters and/or fidgets.

As mark said, It gives a little too much control to the people who might want to decide that they dont want you to spend any money. Seems a little far off, but in a totally electronic, cashless society, it would be possible to 'delete' someone.

(Makes me think of idiocracy and their reaction of "Unscannable!!!")

But i would be interested to see what would happen in that society if there was a national power outage for longer than a week. Not saying its likely, but it would be interesting.

Lawyer wants WikiLeaker kept off suicide watch

Autonomous Cowherd

Clear Torture

"The guards will check on him every five minutes by asking him if he is okay. PFC Manning will be required to respond in some affirmative manner. At night, if the guards cannot see him clearly, because he has a blanket over his head or is curled up towards the wall, they will wake him in order to ensure that he is okay."

Yes, this sounds like this is for his own good. I'm sure he will appreciate this very careful concern every 5 minutes, twenty four hours a day. When he everntually gets out, the guys gonna flip if anyone asks if he's ok. Then they'll see him flip out and someone will ask if he's ok. Then he'll flip out more...

Poor guy, not one human being deserves that treatment. Not even the really really bad ones.

Cable vendor slapped for unproven claims

Autonomous Cowherd

Free sound improving techniques

Thats quite something. I cant work out if its a tongue-in-cheek satire, pointing out the meaninglessness of many audiophile improvements or genuine content. In any case, its quite funny.

Personal fav in the 'free sound improving techniques' section:

Plain piece of Blue paper under any vase of flowers or any pot plant in the listening room.

If you have a vase of flowers or a pot in a plant pot in the listening room, stand the vase or the plant pot on a plain piece of BLUE paper. Listen to some music for a short time, then remove the piece of Blue paper and see if you can listen to the same music with the same pleasure - without the piece of Blue paper in position !!

This is truely groundbreaking stuff.

(Mines the one on the blue piece of paper, with a single corner pinned back)

'Porn lock' heralds death of WikiLeaks, internet, democracy, universe

Autonomous Cowherd

@Ian B

This is an interesting dynamic that I was hitherto unaware of, but an important one. Cheers!

(Someone should probably write all the little machiavellian tricks and slight of hands of of large institutions down into some sort of 'defend your democracy - be aware' information thingie.)

Gov decides not to have scientific advice on drugs any more

Autonomous Cowherd

Excuse me, but it seems...

That no-one is thinking of the children? What if the terrorist peados were out of their mind on weed and then threatened our freedoms!! I demand a reaction that will satify my sensationalism! I demand tighter controls! Wont someone (except the terrorist peado druggies) think of the children??

Communism is a method of government, Socialism is a method of government. Maybe we are in the new dawning of the glorious era of Sensationalism as a method of government?

War is Peace,

Freedom is Slavery,

Ignorance is Strength


Autonomous Cowherd

I call shenanigans!

I suspect that the wikileaks itself is a distraction, possibly to push through tighter internet controls, or justify new offensive electronic measures.

The content is no doubt annoying and disruptive to the international powers, but it seems to have been limited to a tolerable margin of irritation.

This may be a distraction to divert certain bodies of people from noticing the sleight of hand behind the original distraction?

I'm going to go stand in the snow for a while until the confused thoughts settle and melt into the slush that is my mind.

Most coders have sleep problems, need 'hygiene and care'

Autonomous Cowherd

Guild of Coders

I can imagine a world where we allow for different peoples working styles and habits. Perhaps the coders would have a monastic-ish lifestyle, living in well kept grounds with 100MB broadband, games consoles, pizza and coffee available through the night.

There would even be secuirty tasked with filtering annoying disturbances. (in the form of last minute changes/counter productive pressure being applied by those who dont understand quite what a craft coding is. The ones who suspect that you're not doing anything really valulable because you need time to work a problem through without having endless meetings/appearing externally that you are doing something productive.)

The world would be more fun if we had some trust, freedom and a guild system. :)

Hadron Collider switches to heavy ions, tinfoilers wet pants again

Autonomous Cowherd

New measure of speed...

How about the Backward Leap/Ohno-Second? (BL/OnS)

Backward leap: The distance a suddenly very focussed person can jump given an unexpected, negative stimulus.

Ohno-second: The time between the realisation that something has gone wrong, and the imminent, inevitable consequence.

Aircraft bombs may mean end to in-flight Wi-Fi, mobile

Autonomous Cowherd


I don’t know what you do for a living, but you probably could write dystopian films! :)

Careful though, 'the powers that be' may look at your article and go, hey, good idea! we didn’t think of stinger missiles...

Alien Earthlike worlds 'like grains of sand', say 'wobble' boffins

Autonomous Cowherd
Thumb Up

No! Prathlev no,

There must be more to life....



Autonomous Cowherd

Slowly, but surely, they drew their plans against us.

Daa Daa Daaar!

That is all.

Top Ten Retro PC Games

Autonomous Cowherd

I am that someone.

Yup, you can feel satisfied that you have helped someone you dont know relive memories that we share.

Funny old world innit? :)

Autonomous Cowherd
Thumb Up

Well, since you asked.... (what, you didnt??)

Jagged Alliance (and jagged alliance 2. Its cheating i know, but really, try it...)

Master of Orion 2


UFO Enemy unknown


Quake 2

Duke nukem 3D


Prince of Persia

Theme Park

Apple bolts chastity belt on super svelte MacBook Air

Autonomous Cowherd

Day of the Tinfoil Hat.

Albert Gonzalez is right, this is a very good way of fixing flaky boards.

Also, this method has a pleasing amount of tinfoil usage. J'approve.

(I have seen many a HP printer board fixed this way, though we didnt use tinfoil at the time.)

Provincial outrage over BT's broadband upgrade race

Autonomous Cowherd

False advertising

I noticed on some gumph that came through my door this morning, BT are also applying the Unlimited magic wand to their free weekend phone calls.

I'm actually very pleased that BT have started doing it to their call packages. This allows us to sidestep the whole legality/morality of filesharing and concentrate squarely on the legality of their lies/marketing slight of hand intended to decieve.

I'm sure the person who figured out this slight of hand is feeling very pleased with themselves.

And probably got a payrise.

And probably has 8mb+ broadband every moment of the day.


(Shouty, shouty, shouty.)

US navy to battle Iranian mini-ekranoplan swarms with rayguns

Autonomous Cowherd


Thats basically what they are saying. Perpetual war for perpetual peace. I suspect they have an evil-overlords madlib game somewhere:

<Country name> is harbouring <bad thing> and supporting <morally untenable thing>.

We need to ensure the national security of <country> against possible threats from <name of ragtag bunch of rebels we bankrolled in the 80's>.

The <ragtag bunch of rebels> are incredibly fearsome fighters capable of shooting <fire/plasma/lighting> from their <orifice>. They are highly trained and highly organised, capable of wielding fearsome power via their <supergun/swarm robots/nuclear programme/chemical weapons>. *

For the benefit of <humanity/god/the children, oh god won't someone think of the children> we must wipe this group off the face of the planet. This has nothing to do with the presence of <abundant and valulable natural resource>.

We therefore in our infinite benevolence have begun <name of benevolent invasion>.

Unfortunately due to the new and dramatic threat posed by people who object to <name of benevolent invasion>, we must remove the right to <civil liberty> and have implemented <expensive and degrading project> at all international airports.

I for one welcome: <Too-horrifying-to-be-made-up reigime>

Stuxnet worm slithers into China, heralds alien invasion

Autonomous Cowherd

The title is required, and must contain Pirates and/or Ninjas.

Throwing computers out of the back of an aircraft is likely to get a reaction from the chap/chapette responsible for cleaning the runway.

Not sure their reaction would be helpful in this case!


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