* Posts by Alex

15 publicly visible posts • joined 4 Jun 2007

The Boss bitchslaps Ticketmaster

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It astounds me

Why do artists use Ticketmaster? Oh yes risk and ease of use.

Lets hope they start to sell their own non transferable tickets themselves.

In batches over the lead up, hints for dedicated fans for early tickets, auctions for late comers.

Good on the Boss maybe he will change the way his team sell tickets?

Home Office death list 'stops ID fraud'

Dead Vulture

Nod to Douglas Adams

It stops those pesky Rock stars spending a year dead for Tax reasons.

I'm completely lost as to why a first world Government is completely unable to track the vast majority of births, deaths & marriages effectively. Oh sorry we handed out NI numbers like confetti instead of linking them to something simple like a birth certificate / grant of citizenship.

Rather than circulating a list, why not have a web service (on a private intranet open to selected few using a suitable three part authentication system, hey we could even make it biometric just to prove ID cards work). The nominated users from the private enterprise sign in and run a simple web client into which they enter data regarding a prospective / existing client. The web service returns a few possible replies:




The queries could be monitored for abuse, patterns of attempted claims and so reduce fraud. Maybe we could ask someone with experience of detecting fraud patterns to help, hmm maybe the credit card companies might have suitable algorithms? Oh I forgot its govt so something that would take almost a week to set up will take years and cost billions.

It might reduce the likelihood of the list being splashed across the internet.

Well what other Icon can I use?

Irish mobile numbers just too portable

Paris Hilton

Yes please unified database globally readable for supplier (secure updates of course)

It might actually make call logging and Least cost routing easier.

No more lengthy number washing to guess which mobile network you're going to. Drive corporate landline to mobile call costs down overnight, consumer costs would obviously follow.

Paris in the absence of an EE girl icon, cmon elreg.

Flanagan reads riot act on police IT

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Its on tape

Assuming the videos are collected continuosly and properly then its got to be a good thing. Inappropiate stop & search then review the footage, if its inappropriate then counsel / prosecute the policeman if its not it shuts up the loony liberals. The drunks might not use police officers for target practice either.

This does literally fall into 'if you have nothing to hide then you can't object' as valid.

The police need support to improve policing and cut red tape, an integrated video and electronic record system (should cost about £500 - £1000 per Policeman - customised PDA, plug in camera + encrypted memory card and stored in a secure version of Youtube of course it will cost £1million per man and never work).

Many companies were pleased how much 'wastage' dropped when cctv was installed in retail shops one assumes staff were guilty in some cases as well. If the policeman is being videod he/she will behave themself.

Bank turns London man into RFID-enabled guinea pig

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Chip & Pin

I was working on Chip & Pin in 1987, it was viable then, A number of secret services (funniest parcels I ever sent, Addressed - 'The XXXXX Secret Service, 133 the crescent, XYZ town XYZ country) nope sorry I don't remember the address, Shell & the French Health service thought so, but the Credit card companies didn't.

I'm lost, why do they think this is a good idea? Fraud is going to be endemic.

Tin foil wallets already available.

Banks emptying your pocket, who would of thought it?

Germans send teen tearaway to Siberia


Definitely inflation

Watched a documentary on Russian prisons, 2 Roubles a day per prisoner. Gruel & 10 prisoners per regulation size cell.

Properly managed adversity can have a good effect on kids in trouble, tough love anyone.

Cops admit CCTV no use in deterring drunken violence


They may be too drunk to realise the consequences

So make sure they know the consequences before getting drunk. If they know they are going to be severely punished they won't do the crime. Look how rare heckling at Labour party conferences or upsetting the Welsh on TV is becoming.

AIUI you are more likely to be locked up for not paying your council tax than beating someone senseless. £150 fine for assualting a Police officer, thats hardly going to deter a drunken reveller make it a month's wages or Benefits.

If you can't lock them up then get them up at 5 am to clean the puke from the streets or even better pop them in the cells for a night (you have to make sure they don't drown in their own vomit or die from their wounds) and after a cold shower in the morning give them overalls so they can do it with a hangover. They can go home in their disposable overalls so everyone can see they have slept it off in the cells. Obviously charge them for the overalls & accomodation, benefit witholding & credit cards accepted.

If they don't turn up for cleaning duty pop round and arrest them at work, or stop their benefits.

Make the Pubs responsible for behaviour and noise, shut a few vertical drinking establishments down to encourage the others, use CCTV evidence to prove drunken louts spent a considerable amount of time in a licensed premises and that they failed to monitor their clientele. Those old enough will remember the litter from fast food joints covering our streets, once the restaurants became liable the problem was severely reduced.

Revoke approvals for any drinks clearly aimed at youngsters, whilst not every Lager lout is under 25 is a I'm guessing many are.

Replace the CCTV cameras with high resolution versions, the technology is available to get high quality video down almost any cabled video system and it is relatively cheap. More successful prosecutions will reduce offences and save money. Video & Audio analysis would reduce the need for cameras to be watched, most trouble is normally accompanied by load shouting or laughter and a crowd just watch for peaks of noise. Add feedback to the cameras, e.g. a bright spotlight that shines on the offenders so they disperse, maybe the high frequency dispersal system as well.

Zero tolerance works, if at the first sign of trouble a van load of cops turn up and make sure the offenders are prosecuted severely then word spreads. Then at least the offenders will take their punch ups & bad behaviour to deserted areas as we did when we were younger, many confrontations will dissipate before the protaganists get to a suitable venue.

PC superstore refuses to take sack in hand


Poor Monkeys Get Peanuts

Sales staff at PC World can now expect to earn £13,000 after 12 months' service, with team and store bonuses as well. This compares with an £11,000 basic salary before and a sales bonus of up to 20pc under the old commission-based scheme.

(March 2006)



So the fact many of them aren't Mark Russinovich, Bryce Cogswell (a homage to all at Sysinternals) or Tommy Flowers is excusable.

If you don't like the prices, don't buy. If you don't like the service (I'm not that keen its not great, but its not really the Staff's fault) then complain and tell all your friends.

Warranty card is irrelevant unless it gives you more rights than you already have,

AIUI PCworld have a duty under the sales of goods Acts which includes Merchantable quality, Fitness for Purpose and remedies for defects the duration of this on consumer goods is 1 year. If they try to ignore their duties get trading standards on them, let them go through their books and waste PCworld directors time, the more often you do that the more likely they are to change.

Aussie politicos in a froth over naval boob jobs



If small airbags are sending them mental wait till the enemy start lobbing 17" shells at them!

I thought the Aussies were sensible it appears they have boobed!

James Bond ditches the Aston Martin


Like it, 007 licence to Recycle

Enter James in cotton suit (environmentally friendly & fairtrade) orders an Appletini shaken & not stirred (Drink responsibly) then goes outside for a new low tar Menthol Senior Service (OK he shouldn't smoke but he forgot his patches).

To avoid Global devestation he gives Jaws a fixed penalty notice for littering bits of dead CIA agent everywhere, overcomes Blofeld with a friendly hug, converts the solar death ray to a new electricity station using just a hair grip whilst hanging almost an inch off the ground without a safety harness and then he drives off in his Toyota Prius with his new life partner Mr Kid dramatically jumping a small speed bump as he goes.

BOFH: New toys


Pork Scratchings in the packing is so right

Many years ago the company I worked for was taken over by one of the biggest Taiwanese Plastics & Rubber manufacturers. Soon we received some new plastic phone cases manufactured by our new parent company so we could review them.

We unpacked them and the packing consisted of condoms that had failed quality control, luckily before the lubricant had been applied. Gave us a laugh anyway.

An inconvenient update


Lets be cautious, not cruel!

Sorry I didn't mean to appear heartless, I'm not for starving the third world, I just believe its better for all of us if we encourage them to use clean energy and develop their own internal markets rather than make cheap goods in sweatshops for western markets.

I know its all about money, most things are, maybe I hoped we could rise above that. pity really.


Lets be cautious

Strikes me that it makes sense to be slightly more frugal and careful with Earth's natural resources. The post 9/11 grounding of Jets resulted in significant changes in the Atmosphere. The oil will run out eventually regardless of who we invade.

However I'm dubious our lords and masters can be trusted, all that seems to have happened is that they have put tax up for individuals. That suggests to me the current solutions to GW are a con.

Tax on running old cars - Surely rather than encouraging people to scrap old cars and having to dispose of them, then make new ones which will wipe out any carbon or fuel savings, we should be developing better exhausts for retrofitting? Instead of taxing users to run them why not add significant tax to the price of inefficient new ones?

Rather than having a disposable society why not insist manufacturers provide a 5 - 10 year warranty on significant items - TV / Video / washing machines etc which would push the price & quality up encouraging longer use and fewer old goods to dispose of.

Tax on rubbish - Instead of taxing householders on rubbish, why not use more sensible disposal methods (converting into fuel etc) and tax companies who provide excessive non bio degradeable wrappers?

Rather than taxing per person flying why not tax per flight based on the efficiency of the airplane, that would encourage Airlines to fly fewer planes and make sure they are efficient & full?

Why put up fares on public transport? If it is that much more efficient we need more people to use it so make it cheap.

Why if we need to cut travelling don't we make homeworking easier and more tax efficient?

Why if we need to cut pollution why not charge carbon miles on foreign food & goods? Long term with population growth in distant countries we will need to become self sufficient.

May be a wise idea to rein in population growth, fewer consumers will mean a slower growth in pollution.

Why not stipulate maximum emissions of overseas suppliers and encourage suppliers such as China to stop building coal fuelled power stations. While we are at it we can stipulate minimum standards of employment stopping child labour and exploitation.

The efficiency of manufacturing & fitting Wind Turbines etc to individual houses is doubtful, we need big solutions with efficiencies of scale.

Basically the government haven't got the guts to do the right thing & upset the party donors, so its unlikely we will have a significant effect.

MEP plans EU build ban on cars faster than 100mph


100 MPH electronic limiter + new car tax.

Nothing wrong with electronically limiting speed to 100MPH on all new cars in UK I'm sure that would make the M25 & M40 safer late at night , 145mph in Germany. Cars imported / visiting over 14 days need to be adjusted at owners cost.

Easy way to make cars more fuel efficient, make car purchase tax a sliding scale depending on efficiency. Say 30% for fuel inefficient, 10% for most eco friendly. Emissions and MPG are set by the average of cars sold the previous year, if the improvements become static up the standards.


emissions 143 MG & 30 mpg pays tax at 30% purchase price.

emissions 90 MG & 48 mpg pays tax at 10% purchase price.

You would need a proper standard for working out the MPG.

Currently we are taxing on emissions on old cars, this encourages people to scrap old cars even if they are serviceable not exactly eco friendly.

2012 Olympics logo debuts to whalesong


Youre all a bunch of frustrated geeks.

Its not a sex act, its obviously a self portrait of the artist leaving from Heathrow with a big sack of olympic cash on one of those sit up and beg trolleys.

Waste of cash, they could probably have built a pool and a running track fro £400K.

Who cares its only taxpayers cash.