* Posts by Tom Servo

81 publicly visible posts • joined 29 Sep 2010


Musky scent? Billionaire launches fragrance: Burnt Hair

Tom Servo

Re: Why no Michael Jackson joke?

Richard Pryor has entered the chat

Grab some tissues: Meta's share price tanks after Facebook emits latest figures

Tom Servo


So Tech platform happy to allow the distribution and propagation of Anti - Vax bullshit has a decrease in user numbers? Hmm.... can't quite put my finger on it but I feel I'm close

Serco bags £322m contract extension for Test and Trace, is still struggling to share data with local authorities

Tom Servo

*Comedy of Terrors. FTFY.

Conservative Party fined one-third of a luxury food hamper by ICO for nuisance email campaign

Tom Servo

Re: "the relevant employee left shortly afterwards and there are no available records."

Sounds a bit of a Stalinesque solution - "No man, no problem"

Megabucks in funding, 28 years of research, and Boston Dynamics is to be 'sold to Hyundai' for 1/40th of an Arm

Tom Servo


No need to break out the Sam Slade outfit just yet then.

'5G for Five Eyes!' US senator tells Parliamentarians the world would be better without Huawei

Tom Servo

Another nutjob hiding behind the flag

He's certainly all in on Trumpism - in the last week on twitter he's said military should be involved in quelling the protests and he's introduced a bill with another of the most stupid/right wing senators (Blackburn) to ban any Chinese national student receiving a visa to study STEM in US campus.

Scary thing is he's not fringe - looks to be gearing up for a 2024 run.

US prez Trump's administration reportedly nears new rules banning 'dual-use' tech sales to China

Tom Servo

"China's handling of the COVID-19 outbreak, prompting Trump to repeatedly call the pathogen a "Chinese virus" in briefings and social media."

"Trump's handling of the COVID-19 outbreak, prompting Trump to repeatedly call the pathogen a "Chinese virus" in briefings and social media."

FTFY. It's Trump using his deflect/blame/look over there strategy to try and make this all China's or Obama's fault, nothing to do with me, I give myself a 10/10, 200K US deaths is a win ad nauseum.


Theranos vampire lives on: Owner of failed blood-testing biz's patents sues maker of actual COVID-19-testing kit

Tom Servo

But where's the Trump angle?

Googles Fortress Investment group & Trump - Oh, there it is, involved with Deutsche bank funding his property tax scams.

I need a shower just reading this article.

Among those pardoned by Trump this week: Software maker ex-CEO who admitted hacking into rivals' systems

Tom Servo

Well Pogue's family donated $200K to Trump's campaign in the last 6 months having donated $10K total to the republican party previously, so there's the price of freedom.

This shit stinks to high heaven that someone like Milken gets pardoned because it's seen as a "victimless Crime", and people are getting executed if they are too poor and black.

And before Bob shows up, this isn't a Trump issue - Clinton pardoning Rich hours before leaving office is also just as craven -it's just especially galling for someone who's "draining the swamp".

I will give Trump credit for his strategy of not giving one shit about protesting innocence with all the self-dealing etc, but by dragging everyone else down to appear everyone's just as bad and corrupt in the public's eye which seems to be working.

Xbox Series X: Gee thanks, Microsoft! Just what we wanted for Xmas 2020 – a Gateway tower PC

Tom Servo

Re: Everything will be downloaded from the network.

Me: Well, the kids and wife are out, I've got a spare hour to myself to have a blast on CoD.

Xbox: Downloading a 13GB update for this game

Me: Fuck off xbox.

This happens far too often.

Holy sh*tsnacks! Danger zone! Edinburgh Uni's Archer 2 super 'puter will cost a cool £79m

Tom Servo

Re: *sploosh*


danger zone.

BT 'UK's most powerful Wi-Fi'? Why, fie, for shame! – ads watchdog

Tom Servo

Regarding photo used by El Reg

Needs more kitten.

OK, your boss allegedly called you a lazy n*****, promoted the person you trained ahead of you and paid you less, but you can't PROVE it's racism, Facebook says

Tom Servo

Re: A Narcissist's Corporate Prayer

Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V into any Trump comment post on Mueller, sexual harassment allegations, paying off porn stars, executive overreach ad nauseum.

US and UK Amazon workers get a wage hike – maybe they'll go to the movies, by themselves

Tom Servo

maybe they'll go to the movies, by themselves

"Half of that was from me" - Mark Bezos

A real shot in the Arm: 3% of global workforce surplus to requirements

Tom Servo

Re: They should never have allowed ARM to be sold

This is a valid point, albeit a bit harsh for those out of a job and needing to pay the mortgage of a property in Cambridge.

There's a theory that the great achievement of Kennedy's space program in the 60's was also because of the rapid expansion of NASA in the 60's that it created a swathe of highly trained engineers who then went out in the 70's/80's and "invented stuff".

Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Tom Servo

Re: Launch Trump

I'll send them cheesy movies, the worst I can find.

(la la la)

The law of run Nintendo consequences: Sega brings out mini Mega Drive / Genesis

Tom Servo

In this Age of Enlightenment

it should be called MicroMegas.

*Waits for any response from philosophy grads.

Donkey Wrong: Arcade legend Billy Mitchell booted from record books amid MAME row

Tom Servo

All is right with the world.

As an avid King of Kong fan this is fantastic news - Steve Wiebe restored to his rightful place in history.

FCC inspector general sticks corruption probe into chairman Ajit Pai amid $4bn media merger

Tom Servo

American Pai - The Sequel

Tagline - This time, the Pai fucks you.

How much will Britain's next F-35s cost? Not telling, says MoD

Tom Servo

Somewhere, Lewis Page just booted his cat down the hallway without realizing why.

Merry xmas all.

Magic Leap blows our mind with its incredible technology... that still doesn't f**king exist

Tom Servo

Magic Leap One my arse.

I recognize a pair of Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses when I see them.

Facebook, Twitter sucked into US Senate's Russian meddling probe

Tom Servo

Re: ad words?

Ok, salient points that could be surfaced in somewhat different language if you're looking to genuinely engage in a constructive discussion rather than troll but this is an internet messageboard.

I believe there is an important distinction to be made between rich citizens throwing money at resources at your election (which is certainly problematic in itself), but there is a difference between Schmidt or the Koch brothers trying to influence their election for their country and foreign governments trying to influence through social media.

Trump upgrades Cyber Command, may sideline NSA in future

Tom Servo

First task....

DT : Go find me who leaked the photo of my inauguration crowd.

But sir, we have Russia using all means to divide the west using not only traditional cyber infiltration tactics but increasingly sophisticated social engineering via social media channels through a paid army of false accounts and bots. We also have to combat china using state sponsored resources to gain access to both private corporate and state networks at will as well as terrorist organisations using various encrypted channels of communication

DT : No, go find out who's leaking to the fake news about my temper tantrums, that's the real crime. Also, go find and delete the tape of me and the hookers.

President Trump to his council of industry CEO buddies: You're fired!

Tom Servo

He's certainly entertaining?

WAPO : Whitehouse insiders say Donald Trump shits his pants.

HUCKABEE-SANDERS et al: We condemn these scurrilous rumours from anonymous sources that show how biased the MSM is that they are fixated on spreading their false narrative and not focusing on the issues real Americans care about.

! day later at next Press conference


Happy 4th of July: Norks tests another missile

Tom Servo

Sabre ratling, we'll be fine.....

unless some clown on the world stage just as demented decides to needle KJU with a tweet deriding him personally as bullying is the only way he can get satisfaction, in which case we've got a problem.


Cabinet Office minister Gummer loses seat as Tory gamble backfires

Tom Servo

Re: " Tory off-shore trust "patriots""

Nope, as the US elections have shown us, Patriotism is now the first bastion of the scoundrel.

MP3 'died' and nobody noticed: Key patents expire on golden oldie tech

Tom Servo

Too right..

Everyone knows Hooli Nucleus is where it's at.

Computer games to become medal sport at Asian Games

Tom Servo


Licence to kill, Facility, NO ODDJOB.

Gold medal me.

Apple, Amazon smash audiobook cabal after European pressure

Tom Servo

Re: It's all irrellevant now

The Donald is going to bring all book burning back to the US.

Obvious FTFY.

Bollocks to today.

Stiff upper lips and sun glasses: the Chancellor bets on Brexit feeling

Tom Servo

Re: The Sky is falling..

"5th largest economy in the world"

Hasn't France now taken over as 5th largest economy using GDP based on 2015 figures if we take the current value of the pound though? Time to change the narrative to "Pound was overvalued anyway, Brexit just helped us realign so our exporters could compete blah blah blah"

I'm off to invest in barrels with braces as that's going to be the rising fashion trend in years to come when we're all drinking rainwater out of rusty hubcaps.

British Gas wins pre-paid smart meter patent lawsuit

Tom Servo

This is a world where Apple claim a patent on a paper bag as it's folded differently.

I agree that he patent clerks need to be a little more diligent when approving applications to avoid patent trolls and lawyers profiting handsomely down the line in court.

Netflix scores new Trek tellie

Tom Servo

agree. got rid of the virgin tv service earlier this and just use Netflix and downloads - saving about £50 PM and missing nothing.

A huge side benefit also is my 8 year old doesn't see any ads for crap on a Saturday morning any more - a price well worth paying for.

Now if any kindly soul out there wants to tell me what smart DNS service is currently working and flying under Netflix radar so I can access the US site again, I would be much obliged, all my usual suspects over the last 6 months have gone.

Lightning strikes: Britain's first F-35B supersonic fighter lands

Tom Servo

Re: Curious minds want to know

It's because the F-35s are flying at the Fairford air show in 10 days time - along with F-22, typhoons, f-16s, F-18s, Mig-29s, Grippens, Rafales - should be a fun day.

Blocking ads? Smaller digital publishers are smacked the hardest

Tom Servo

You pick up a newspaper.

Only this time it takes 5 seconds everytime you try to turn the page. When you do, that advert for comfortable polyester trousers in the bottom right hand corner fills up and blocks the articles. It also starts to make a racket about how you'll never have to iron them. You look for the X button to get rid of the ad to read the articles. Can you find it? Can you fuck, it's 2 shades darker blue on the hex colour scale than the blue background it's on. Eventually you find it and press it. The catalogue for the trouser company appears in your hands because you didn't quite hit the X right in the middle. After you get rid of the catalogue and the ad, you get to read the article.

turn the page and repeat every time.

You'd never pick up the paper again, and you parasitic ad people have created this experience online and whine when we do everything we can to minimize disruption.

Get fucked, just because you could, doesn't mean you should.

Sysadmin's £100,000 revenge after sudden sacking

Tom Servo

Re: Who's calling

I think a better response would be:

I can tell you exactly why this bill is so high and what you need to do to mitigate it in 1 minute, but to do so you'll have to employ my services as a newly created consultancy company 'FuckGW IT services' at a rate of 5K per day or part of.

And then put the phone down. And wait for it to ring again.

Kids' tech skills go backwards thanks to tablets and smartmobes

Tom Servo


Kids today don't know how good they have it if they've never had to edit an Autoexec.bat with the above just to get some bleeps out of the sodding pc.

And don't mess it up by choosing soundblaster pro instead of soundblaster 16 etc....etc.....

I'm getting old.

El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

Tom Servo

Re: That reference


Tom Servo

2015 Mike J Fox says

Hey, I managed to get 20% in the glass this time!


The Breakfast (Table) of Champions: Micro Machines

Tom Servo

that innovative multi player.....

fantastic memories on the megadrive of one player at the top of the screen with 2 cm of screen ahead trying to anticipate the turns and obstacles without being able to see them, and the opponent on the edge at the bottom with all the screen ahead but knowing one slip up and he's out.

good times.

Bethesda all out for 'Fallout 4', fallout for global productivity foretold in countdown

Tom Servo

Lordy, this AND XCOM 2 announced?

Time to pack the wife and kids off for xmas somewhere, I'll be busy.

Here's Johnny! Top Ten fantasy Blu-ray boxsets and special editions

Tom Servo

If it's worth it, yes....

I rarely buy physical media anymore, but happily coughed up £60 last week for DVDs of all 4 seasons of the Phil Silvers show ,finally released.

Anyone who is going to spend time and effort releasing every episode of this 60 year old sitcom deserves my (and your) money.


Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD stands

Tom Servo

Re: Prius?

Fox News? You're quoting Fox News as a non-partisan source on an environmental issue?

Fuck it, I'm going to start quoting the Onion as a legit source then. Here you go:


Captain Kirk sets phaser to SLAUGHTER after trying new Facebook app

Tom Servo

Not hearing a word against Shatner as a singer....

his Common People is a genuinely fantastic cover (although Ben Folds probably gets the credit for that).

Sod it, I liked his Rocket Man also.

Microsoft forms 'Special Projects' black ops team

Tom Servo


"Reader Richard Bryant says MS is probably unaware of the significance of the acronym "SPG" on this side of The Pond."

Weirdly I clicked on the link expecting it to be a picture of Vivian's homicidal Glaswegian hamster from the Young Ones.

Globe grabbin,’ sphere slammin’, orb-tossin’, pill poppin’... Speedball

Tom Servo

Re: Best. Game. Ever.

"This game destroyed more joysticks than any other game in existence"

Ahem - Daley Thompson would like to have a word with you.

Can't tell you how many kempstons I went through on the original Spectrum because of DT Decathlon.

E-book him! Entire Judge Dredd back catalogue gets iDevice treatment

Tom Servo

Can't say flarer than that

as Mega City-1 resident Max Normal said.

Attention, addicts: LEGO meth lab pays homage to Breaking Bad

Tom Servo

instant fail

The barrels aren't big enough to fit a dismembered lego person in.

If there's one thing Breaking Bad has taught me, it's that any of life's problems can be solved by sealing it/them in a barrel of hydrochloric acid.

LOHAN team girds loins, aims to take SPEARS to heaven again

Tom Servo

Hope all goes well and looking forward to the pics.

Also looking forward to Lewis Page's next article bemoaning why El Reg is pissing money up a wall on this bespoke project when they could buy off the shelf from the US.