* Posts by sebacoustic

100 posts • joined 17 Sep 2010


Lessons from the Mini: Before revamping or rebooting anything, please read this


maybe a nice litte BMW

But it's still the car known as the twatmobile.

What's sad is that BMD tried to pass of their own fale as "the real thing":


Some of the later variants, made to appeal more to a heterosexual male audience, are plainly ridiculously hideous to look at.


maybe a nice litte BMW

But it's still the car known as the twatmobile.

It's sad that BMW tried to position their own fake mini as "not fake"


Some of the later variants, made to appeal more to a male audience, are plainly ridiculously ghideous to look at.

Apple Fools: Times the House of Jobs went horribly awry



Every time I see a story on the Newton, I feel a pang of sadness, because mine, in a cardboard box with accessories, developer books etc, went to the dump instead of the small "keep" pile, by mistake, during a loft clear out in circa 2006. I loved that machine (N130), despite its many flaws. Apple products ceased to be cool about the time they dropped the rainbow logo.

Reg reader post-pub chef brews superscharf currywurst



I'll just leave this here:


My old Heimat is Germany, and a part of it that has a proud Currywurst tradition, but I must say that in terms of sausage quality, a good British banger is superior to Bratwurst. German food laws don't allow rusks etc., but lumps of connective tissue make up for it in the production process.

Now a bad banger is a different story, but I never buy those.

Feeling abandoned by Adobe? Check out the video editing suites for penguins



This article is not explicit about exclusive about "Free as in freedom" offerings, is it?

There is one really big fish in the sea of video editors: Lightworks.

There is a free-as-in-beer version and it works like a charm, at least for me (on Fedora 23, on a relatively recent and powerful computer).

The features you don't get without paying are: rendering your project at higher than 720p, multi-monitor support, and some other features for pro-level work on long films, regarding managing multiple storage areas for your stuff.

The editing workflow is really excellent. If you are a cheapskate and still want that 4king massive video resolution you can work on your project with the free version and then buy a month's license to export your project (a month is US$25 or something like that).

I've only discovered it this year, but it's been around as a professional tool for donkey's, on Linux as well as Windows or Mac (with identical user interfaces), so the time you invest in climbing the learning curve is not locking you into a platform.

Kudos to the Lightworks team for creating such an amazing tool and making it available via the freemium model for us cheapskates!

Dead Steve Jobs' Apple donut SPACESHIP HQ gets permission to land


Re: 2.8 million square foot?

Shurely 2.8million * 4/pi = 3.56e6 round foot

TWELFTH-CENTURY TARDIS turns up in Ethiopia


All hail(e) Ethiopia.

First they form the cradle of humanity itself. We all descend from Ethiopians!

Then they invent coffee, allowing us to _be_ human.

And now this!

Oh, shoppin’ HELL: I’m in the supermarket of the DAMNED


I like the S'bury's ones: they even have the STFU button!

Morrisons' have a problem in the Note acceptor mostly - I find myself shouting "just take my tenner already, B***"

I rather like the machines because it means I don't have to relate to a human being. bliss.

Dead Steve Jobs' mega yacht seized by testy Philippe Starck



Mr Starck should go and donate the full amount he received for this monstrosity to some charitable cause, then sink the ugly vessel in pursuit of another good cause: taste.

Outlook 2013 spurns your old Word and Excel documents


Re: Curious...

>I think I need to go see the doc to get some meds :/

you can't make that appointment in Outlook any more, only if you see your new improved docx

New transistor tech could beat silicon and save Moore's Law


Molecular beam epitaxy

the MBE bit is the REALLY expensive step here - the wafers are so pricey it's just laughable.

Really fast transistors have been made with similar methods for a while (though production people avoid MBE because of the cost and use faster processes like MOCVD by preference). You can find one of those in your sky dish.

Nice that they can make small ones now but hey, I wouldn't bank on the silicon era ending just yet.

When I was in semiconductor physics at university ~15 years ago it was like that and it still is.

The best tablets for Christmas


The best tablet for Christmas

remember a tablet is not just for Christmas!

And on the day after Christmas, the best tablet has to be a Paracetamol, or maybe Alka-Selzer.

Ten technology FAILS



I was surprised to see SL covered without mentioning furry penises..

Warming up the thruster that will ram LOHAN to glorious heights


@ru, and lester: thermal conductivity of air

Actually it's worse than that: at 100000ft you still have about 1% of the pressure at ground level and that means heat transport by the surrounding gas is hardly reduced!

estimate the cooling power with some formula (using temperature differential and time and materials and dimensions as input) and work out if your few watts will hope to make the blindest bit of difference.

Or put it in the freezer "with" and "without" heat blanket and measure how much difference it makes!

Reader input required: review our reviews



I love the photos in your camera reviews: Catherine Monfils' pictures are always an inspiration. Howevwer, in addition to those i'd like to see some sort of boring "comparable" test screens that make it possible to compare the capabilities, or lack thereof, particularly of phones & such, real cameras these days all take bloddy good pictures anyway.

For things like printers and phone screens, you could do close-ups of a standard image's reproduction (no doubt a vulture).

Perhaps that's asking too much, but even the tinny (that's a horrible word!) -ness of phone or laptop speakers could be exposed by recording them through a quality microphone?

In summary, a (brief) set of "standard tests" that allows people to compare seperate reviews' results.

Oh and thanks for the reviews in general.

El Reg mulls commentard icon portfolio shake-up


facetweet plus

some sort of web2horrea or social networking related icon would be good

Apple MacBook Pro 13in Retina display review



what makes you think that some "Jamie Oliver Kitchen scales" are more accurate than the one in Apple's lab?

Consumer digital scales are not calibrated and they may have 20g resolution but the linearity is typically much worse.

Use a mass-comparison balance with weights like 50 years ago for accurate results.

OK i'll take my coat, it's the one with "Metrology for the anally retentive" hardback in the pocket.

Goatse.cx opens up again - as an email provider


is it just me...

I was reminded of good old goatse when i saw a recent EverythingEverywhere billboard, bearing some text with a fain resemblance... just goes to show that what I saw in 1999 can't be unseen!

Dell Latitude 6430u set to be first Ultrabook with gigabit wireless



Does windows 8 imply the lappy has a touchscreen? That'd be crap because i couldn't chastise people any more for putting their grubby mitts on the clean screen.

Steve Jobs' Apple-powered yacht makes belated first trip

Thumb Down

/. frst psot was....


made me laugh... and it wraps it up in one word.

America mounts attempt to top the Register's world record spaceflight

Black Helicopters

snub at el-reg?

I noticed that in their coverage of the PARIS project they offer 3 links, one to the BBC, one to the Daily Mail and one to the Telegraph. "The Register" doesn't get a mention, you're just a team of "space enthusiasts".

For that affront I think you should consider shooting the plane down with LOHAN.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Four in ten Brits have had to change all their passwords to foil crooks


teen pics

> 88 per cent of self-generated, sexually explicit online images .. uploaded onto other websites.

that means the other 12% are a significant market opportunity for 4chan

Ay caramba, Ubuntu 12.10: Get it right on Amazon!


Integrating popular websites into the desktop is hardly a new idea

"Active Desktop" anyone? That was singularly useless as well. Hmm something's not right, things can't be "singular" and "as well".

Meet Shenzhen, tech capital of China

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Great article

Thank you for this.. shame the pictures don't have the <click for full full resolution> link. Would be interested in having a closer look.

Boffins spin up working Qubit in silicon


@john smith 19

if they don't specifically brag about the high temperature: i.e. "room temperature" or "77K" or "4.2K", you can bet that it's done in millikelvin temperatures. Single electron devices pretty much always need a He3 dilution refrigerator or some such gadget.

iPhone 5 has 'laser keyboard, holographic images'


genuinely funny

i think this bit of obvious-to-everybody-but-the-most-deluded parody has more merit than most of the rest of Fox's output (The only thing that's better are Chocolate Creams). On a par with yesterday's register piece about iphone5 delays (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/09/17/apple_iphone_5_shortage/).

Ultimate bacon sarnie scrap starts to sizzle

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What can I say - a great picture. And a great sarnie: who gives a toss about God's will anyway. I, too like a bit of flavour in my bread. Nice wholesome baps do it for me.

Phone-flingers flock to Finland for World Championships


what phone?

maybe i could find out on the site but it's WebSense'd here. Can anyone enlightem me about the suitable choice of handset for throwing?

'G-Cloud is nothing more than a suppliers' website'



as far as theocracies go, Saudi Arabia is certainly not third rate!

Doctor Who to unwrap new sidekick in Christmas TV special



..so no actual unwrapping.

Facebook: 83 million IMPOSTERS stalk our network


@AC 2012-08-02 12:31

> More than actual human accounts. .. it's got to be in the 30 to 40% mark.

So what else is there (other than "actual humans" and "fakes") if fakes are more than humans but less than 50%?

New lightest-ever material: Ideal power for electric car


Zinc oxide again

>The boffins heated the zinc oxide up to 900°C

Indeed, where would we be without it!


CERN catches a glimpse of Higgs-like boson

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Higgs found

Alpinekat, please record the sequel to this:


Powering your iPad costs $1.36 per year


i wonder...

..how many tablets or phones one could power with the energy equivalent to the air conditioning and commuting caused by this institute in Tennessee?

Just coming back from a trip to the southern united states, the vast amount of energy consumed there is still foremost in my mind.

Music SEVEN times more valuable to UK plc than first thought



in 2009 there were still people paying £2.50 for a 0:30 clip of some pop tune as a ringtone!

World+dog discovers hi-res aerial maps, thanks to Google and Apple


Daily Mail

Now there's a surprise: the Daily Mail is full of shit. Who'd have guessed.

New London Bus API arrived at approximately ... 15.00


great stuff

I expect it can only be about, say, 20 years before Greater Manchester Public Transport Authority (whatever their rebranded name du jour is) have something similar going.

How hard can it be, really. Oh and by the way, the "one bus journey one price" isn't that great, you could factor in the distance travelled, and allow for changing buses within one journey.

Oh, and have a 2-line 7-segment display above each Oyster pad saying "remaining balance" and "charge for this journey" can't cost the earth either.

Facebook smacks away hardness, sticks MySQL stash on flash



4x the performance of Exadata and half the cost, which equates to a 16x cost/benefit advantage

can someone explain the math to me please?

John Lewis appears to punt Chromebook with Windows 7


it's running ChromeOS

just showing a JPG of the windows splash screen, that's all

Facebook phone tagged for 2013 release



FB's phone will have a dedicated "like" button. That must be it.

Greedy LOHAN draining away mankind's vital fluid ... allegedly


@JetSetJim; @Ministry Of Truth

The volume of a mol of gas at "normal conditions" (btw what sort of bisquit tin hold 22.4 litres?) is not at stake here: what's the reg unit for the count of particles in a mol, also known as Avogadro's number. And it's a large number: 6.023*10^23 if I remember correctly.

So in reg units, that's roughly covering the area of wales densely with herpes viruses, and then counting them.

Or, take apples market cap, in dollar coins, and lie them flat in a row (that takes you over 9 times to the sun by the way)

Then lay out another row just the same, but perpendicular to that, and then fill in the square with many more dollars. And they you've got nearly half as many as Avogadro's number.



Hydrogen is not explosive. It's flammable, as the newsreader on the Pathe newsreel rightly states.

See how the airship fails to explode? That should be another hint.

Nasdaq red-faced after software snafu stalls Facebook IPO


o rly?

>Some are blaming the technical problems for the poor performance of FB shares

others however are asserting that the glitches prevented the stock from going under water on the first day already, which might have dampened the mood on the Zuck's wedding party.

LOHAN starts to feel the barometric pressure


superfine loose wire 'round balloon

Use the "target diameter" of the balloon.. you don't want to go all the way to "POP" but pretty close. You could loosely sellotape a single strand from a high-flex copper wire all the way around the balloon, and some kind of relay that closes when the wire snaps. That way you can actually get really close to the maximum height your balloon allows.

This is delightfully "shed-engineering", and reminds me of using similar strands wound round fireworks' fuses, as electric ignites, during my misspent childhood.

GPS rival Beidou will cover Asia Pac by end of the year


enlighten us..

could any one of the estweemed technical experts comment on the relative technical merits of the rivalling sat nav systems?

HP Envy 14 Spectre Ultrabook



Here's how Harrods' target audience discusses the merits of Beats audio:

- "Tinny. Tin Tin Tin."

- "gaaaaaah"

- "Don't say Tin. It upsets her."

- "Sorry, old horse. Goooorne. Now ther's a good word. Got a sort of woody quality."

for reference:


UK Ministry of Defence eyes GPS patent payoff



yeah, forging swords into ploughshares is very peacenik, but if someone hits you on the head with a ploughshare you're just as dead...

LOHAN lifts lid on revised mission summary


Why He?

The question has been raised before, but not answered: Why do you plan to use Helium as opposed to the more conventional Hydrogen used in weather balloons (8%more lift, cheaper)?

The consequences of a potential hydrogen explosion would be relatively benign, I bet the Playmonaut would survive.

<- Flame icon not because i'm pissed off, just a polite technical question.

Los Alamos fires BLOODY BIG MAGNET


Fond memories of working for a stint at the High magnetic field lab in Grenoble during PHD.

Once I forgot to chain the 200l Nitrogen vessel to the wall... and when I ramped up the field to 30T (all alone in a huge lab, in the middle of the night when the leccy is cheaper) the thing started moving on its coasters and crashed into the apparatus, while my back was turned studying the instrument rack. Fright of my life, but thankfully nothing broke so my supervisors never heard about it...



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