* Posts by Tel

70 posts • joined 4 Jun 2007


French internet cops issue terrorist takedown for… Grateful Dead recordings?


Re: Seems the principal problem is not the legislation

This same France is the one that wanted to decimalise the clock to show 10 hours in a cycle... and yet cannot come up with a decimal way of speaking numbers above 69... At least English only does the numbers 11-19 weirdly. 99 in French on the other hand.... eight twenties ten nine. No wonder they can't tell their terrorists from their cheshire cats!

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC


What do you expect?

Welcome to Trump's America, where the rich are paid by the government to get richer at the expense of anyone in the bottom 9 deciles, but most specifically anyone in the bottom 2 or 3 deciles.

Not that Trump would understand the word 'decile' of course. He considers both knowledge and the people in those deciles as beneath contempt.

Merry Christmas, you filthy directors: ICO granted powers to fine bosses for spam calls


I wonder if it will make any difference to the robocall woman who incessantly calls me with the "Hello, I'm [made up name] from [made up company] calling about the accident that wasn't your fault".

Tip: if you've got time to waste, answer yes / plausibly to get round the IVR system they use to screen out swearing. Sometimes there are two layers of IVR. Then you can go to town on the fake accident details. I once managed to waste about half an hour of their time (and phone bill) until I ran out of implausible ways I could have been injured in an accident where I had been driving my non existent offspring's car from the back seat when it hit a bus that braked suddenly and consequently sustained damage to the rear of the car and 'my ribs'. When they asked for details of my ephemeral offspring, they only twigged when I told them offspring's middle name was unusual and needed spelling phonetically... i.e Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Oscar Foxtrot Foxtrot... Short pause... Click.. Brr... and the sound of me cackling.

Oracle sued by app sales rep: I made tens of millions for Larry, then fired for being neither young nor male – claim

Big Brother

All added to the book of "Why I wouldn't touch Oracle with somebody else's bargepole."

Strangely, the book entitled "Why I would touch Oracle with my bargepole" is totally empty.

I wonder why.

Doctor Who: Even the TARDIS key can't unpick the chronolock in Face the Raven


Re: I like ravens.

They really should have made it a three-eyed one.

It's come to this for IBM: Watson is now a gimmick app on the iPhone


Re: Lego

Actually 'Lego' is simply the brand name - therefore it is a Proper Noun. We just customarily - and incorrectly - drop 'bricks' or 'pieces' when talking about Lego.

You don't play with your Hornby do you? (Unless you use the name for something else, but that would just be wrong).

I'm off to play with my Meccanoes.

British killer robot takes out two Britons in Syria strike


Re: Rule .303

Controlling your temper is all very well, but when the other guy is about to hold a massive gun to your head (or those of your loved ones), standing still and letting him shoot you rather than bashing him over the head with a blunt instrument is a bit counterproductive.

Dot-com intimidation forces Indiana to undo hated anti-gay law


I would venture to suggest that the campaign on 'GoFundMe' breaks several of that outfit's terms and conditions. Perhaps someone (or a lot of someones) should make their displeasure at GFM known... it may be that the funding can be stopped before it gets to the destination...


Someone had better tell them that their pizzas are probably not kosher (according to biblical rules) and that they'd better double check to make sure their customers aren't divorced, or masturbators, or wearing clothes of mixed fibres...

RIP Leonard Nimoy: He lived long and prospered


Well this has ruined my weekend.

You don't like to think of your icons dying, but when they (inevitably) do it can be a hammer blow.

Someone please tell me there's a Genesis Planet out there somewhere for him?

'F*** you', exclaims Google Translate app, politely


I a cake have baked.

Works for Yoda.

What will happen to the oil price? Look to the PC for clues


To the question regarding the relative economics of fracking versus traditional oil wells, it can at least be said that fracking does introduce a ceiling to the oil price, all other things being equal, since when the oil price goes high enough for it to be a viable business proposition, the increased supply will choke off a price rise simply due to supply and demand economics.

Apple in 2007: Who wants a stylus? Apple in 2010: We want a stylus!


Re: @ AC

Or they could be using the patent application for something relatively novel but which they have no intention to use as a means of misdirection or simply closing off an avenue of tech that a competitor might want to use.

In the US, at least, patents aren't about what a company might be about to release as a product in their own right.

GT sapphire glaziers: You signed WHAT deal with Apple?


Re: Nothing new under the sun

That's the problem with putting all your apples in one basket. Pun intended and I make no apology for it!

Facebook goes down, people dial 911


I discovered, upon finding Facebook down, that I had to FaceRealLife instead.

The horrors that I saw! Hold me!

French Senate passes anti-Amazon amendment


What with all the highly restrictive and protectionist trade practises in France, no wonder they didn't get so badly hit by the downturn as the rest of the world.

They were already f*cked anyway.

London officials declare cabbie-bothering Uber is legal – for now


Re: Has anyone actually used them?

I can walk 1.3 miles in not much longer than that time and at less cost in shoe leather. Also I don't have to finance a monopolistic cartel.


Re: So a a punter

I have long since lost any trust in black cab drivers since the day when I had to get from the West End to my dying mother in Enfield. The cab driver took a route so circuitous I'm pretty sure it went via Mars and certainly it took at least twice as long as any time I had driven (roughly) the same journey when I had access to a car... On top of that, the driver had no 'knowledge' of the area much outside the North Circular, and when he finally crossed that particular Rubicon, I had to direct him!

Oh, and I arrived 20 minutes late for my mother's death.

Black cab drivers can go f*ck themselves.

Apple 'rainbow' logos set to fetch $10-15K at auction


Re: What? No injunction from Apple?

On the assumption that the employee was, indeed, permitted to take possession of these items, I can't see why selling them would be any different from selling anything else with a corporate trademark on it.

A first-world problem solved: Panoramic selfies, thanks to Huawei's Ascend P7


Gotta say it looks a bit like an iPhone 4 (with mismatched black and white panels) that's been under a steamroller...

Minecraft players can now download Denmark – all of it – in 1:1 scale


Re: Needs more Norway

What? Belgium?

Reddit users discover iOS malware threat


Re: Malware infection targeting iOS users ..

In other words they only have themselves to blame.

AMD demos 'Berlin' Opteron, world's first heterogeneous system architecture server chip


But how well will it mine crypto currencies?

Report: Apple seeking to raise iPhone 6 price by a HUNDRED BUCKS


Re: Does Apple have a short memory, or what?

There's a significant difference between (supposedly) forcing other people to keep their prices high everywhere if they want to use your e-commerce platform and setting your retail pricing for your own products. Apple can charge whatever they like for stuff they manufacture and sell themselves. You clearly don't seem to understand the difference though.


Why do people think the 5C is somehow a failure?

All the market surveys I've read (and not sourced from Apple) suggest the 5C has been roundly outselling the Galaxy 4S. And considering that the 5C is essentially a repackaged plain old '5, that means it's 2012's tech and yet nobody seems to be interested in hearing about how much of a 'fail' the Galaxy 4S has been.

It's inconsistent with facts and illogical to call the 5C a 'failure'. It sells less than the 5S, yes... being essentially last year's model, and all, but if it sold more, than the 5S would be the 'failure' instead... How can Apple 'win' (or even draw!) if people and, more particularly, journalists who should have some sort of obligation towards truth, keep insisting that black is white?

I QUIT: Mozilla's anti-gay-marriage Brendan Eich leaps out of door


It's not his private life though, is it?

I don't vote for politicians whose views I detest.

I won't support a company led by someone whose views I similarly detest.

When that company/organisation has avowed equality policies that its CEO flies in the face of, then they either admit they're hypocrites and their equality policies aren't worth the paper they're written on, or they live up to their ideals.

Mozilla were on the cusp of being judged and found wanting. They realised this. Just in time.

Fukushima radioactivity a complete non-issue on West Coast: Also for Fukushima locals, in fact


Re: Sad to say that I know a couple people who are worried about the plume...

When you think about the numbers of nuclear bombs that were exploded in the Pacific on various (poor defenceless!) atolls, Fukushima pales into insignificance. If the alarmists were to be believed, the Pacific would be utterly dead through irradiation by now.

Apple Mac Pro: It's a death star, not a nappy bin, OK?


It might well be more powerful as well.


Re: Final Destiny

Pop a can of baked beans on top? Instant lunch :)


When I had a minor issue with my 2008 Mac Pro (noisy graphics card, since upgraded) I took it to my local Apple store. All I had to do was get it into my car. They sent one of their staff with me to the car park to get it as I'd done my wrist in and had trouble carrying it.

Not many other shops would let their staff go on a half mile schlep to a car park for a customer, and I only had to ask, no need to fight for it. That alone won loyalty from me.


Re: The answer to the universe is 99?

Because Apple doesn't have any real recent history of putting on sale products nobody wants, unlike the MS Surface or Windows Phone...

Apple pushes back release date for 'dustbin chic' Mac Pro


Apple haven't pushed back the 'release date' for the Mac Pro. Its release date was back end of 2013. It has already been released.

What you mean is that there's a delivery delay due to the numbers on back order.

Sloppy writing.

Elderly Bletchley Park volunteer sacked for showing Colossus exhibit to visitors


Re: Just what we need...

Hmm. Am I to infer that you don't like the man? ;)

(FWIW, I agree with you. A lobotomised monkey would appear to be able to do the job better.)

Apple declares war on PAYPAL: Pay-by-bonk + iTunes = profit, right?

Big Brother

If it goes ahead, they're going to have to find a better name than 'iTunes' for the One App To Rule Them All.

It's already anachronistic seeing as it's more than just 'tunes' now...

SHOCK! US House swats trolls, passes patent 'extortion' bill


Bye bye Lodsys!

Don't let the courthouse door hit you on the arse on the way out.

Actually, do. It'd be fun to watch you fall flat on your face.

New exploding whale vid once again shows true porpoise of internet


Thats one heck of a LOT of ambergris...

Cold-blooded, INHUMAN visitor hitches ride on NASA moon rocket


And in our next instalment...

Pigs In Spaaaaaace!

Who's a Siri boy, then? Apple hoards your voices for TWO years


Re: Now i hate apple....

Frankly I don't care... it's not as if anyone would ask Siri to do anything with their bank account number.

Basically all Apple has is a bunch of different voices asking about the weather, reminders to pick up shopping and asking the most important questions of all, namely "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and "what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"...

Apple are hardly going to be equipping a fifth column with that useless information!

Microsoft secure Azure Storage goes down WORLDWIDE


Oh Rly?

And they want us to subscribe to Office 365 and store all our documents that run our businesses in the cloud if we don't want to pay through the nose for a licence to use only once and then throw away a physical local install of Office?

Just who do Microsoft think they are and just how f***ed up is their business model these days?

I've *never* trusted cloud computing and I never will. At least I can get at the culprits if my network goes down.

How did Microsoft get this big of a deathwish without anybody in their corporate structure noticing?

Earth escapes obliteration by comet



Er... run that one past me again? I think the Lizard People might have messed up my Universal Translator and turned your comment into gobbledegook...

A sysadmin's top ten tales of woe



*JANUARY* 31st?

Surely that would have been a bit of a long wait for the lorries? Then again, this does rather seem to be appropriate for management fail...

Kaspersky blocks BBC News over false phishing fears



Couldn't give a monkey's about sport and I actually quite like the new design (although I do view it on a huge monitor, so I'd concede that people with tiddly screens might have an issue).

As for Kaspersky, all that's left to be said is [cue Nelson Muntz voice]... Haa haa!

Neuroscientist: iPhone 4's 'Retina display' not bullsh*t


@Ken Green

At over 40 you're more likely to have the available readies to be able to buy it!

Google vanishes Android apps from citizen phones



While it might be a bit difficult to place a mobile device into the category of 'computer', a computer is, indeed, what a smartphone is, these days. Certainly the processing power on these gadgets is far in excess of what was available on desktops when a certain Computer Misuse Act was written - you know, the one that criminalises access to a user's computing device by a third party without the knowledge or permission of the owner of the device.

It seem to me that were Google to remotely remove any software installed on any UK phone that they would be breaking the law.

Chancellor cans planned game biz tax break


VAT won't hurt much

I seriously doubt the VAT rise will do much, if anything, to sales of games. It'll add exactly 85p to a £39.99 game. Not exactly bank breaking. I'm sure most gamers have enough readies to cover that. And the money to fill in Labour's gargantuan black hole has to come from somewhere...

From iPhone to iOS – Apple nabs (another) Cisco handle


Steve Jobs is no match for British broadcasters?

"Steve Jobs is no match for British broadcasters"?

I don't think so... I'm pretty sure Apple is sitting on enough dosh to be able to buy Britain's ITV outright, and that doesn't take into account Jobs' humungously vast wealth elsewhere (Disney, Pixar, etc).

Personally, given the crap that ITV tends to broadcast, I'd be very glad if it got bought out by Jobs... a bit of Apple's style rubbing off on it would improve it immensely. Mind you, a bit of napalm would improve it as well, so that wouldn't be a hard ask!

Slovakian flies to Dublin with 90 grams of explosive


If it happened to me I'd be furious

So not only do the muppets of the Slovakian security authorities put at risk a plane and its passengers, but then the poor beggar who they accidentally fit up gets arrested. And anyone who's ever taken a trip to America on the Visa Waiver programme will know that by simple fact of being arrested he'd never be able to travel there visa-free ever again. And, given the nature of the arrest, despite the massive extenuating circumstances, you can bet your last euro that the US visa people will take one look at the record - "explosives, aeroplane, arrest" - and he'll be on a no-fly list before he can blink.

Poor bloke will never be able to travel anywhere ever again! If that were me I'd be reaching for the nearest high-powered lawyer.

Nokia sues Apple (again)

Jobs Halo

Wishful thinking

It looks like wishful thinking if Nokia think they're going to get away with this legal jiggerypokery...

From simply reading the descriptions of the patents in the article I can think of plenty of examples of the technology in use before the date of the patent.

What this shows is the ludicrous way patents are managed in the USA. That situation certainly needs urgent reform, because the only people winning in all this are the lawyers and in the meantime business innovation is stifled and smaller outfits trying to develop new products essentially risk their entire worlds on the basis that someone somewhere doesn't have a spurious patent so broadly drawn as to prevent them even putting pencil to drawing board...

Of course, should this all turn bad for Apple, they can always resort to their war-chest. Earlier today I looked up Nokia's market capitalisation - Apple reportedly has enough of a mountain of cash (yes, ready cash) to buy Nokia outright: mind you, is Nokia actually worth it that sort of money?

Taliban attack Brit troops with explosive donkey



Shrek will be most displeased

Cartoon smut law to make life sucky for Olympic organisers



How would this law relate to (illicit) cartoon imagery of Smurfs engaged in 'adult activity'?

Does anyone know how young or old Smurfs are meant to be? Who decides whether Smurfette is of legal age or not?



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