* Posts by John Doe 12

121 posts • joined 7 Sep 2010


eBay ex-security boss sent down for 18 months for cyber-stalking, witness tampering

John Doe 12

Re: "As a result of being drunk, Mr Cooke did not fully comprehend"

Next time someone gets hauled up before the judge for DUI I wonder if that lawyer will try that excuse again?!!

"As a result of being drunk, Mr Smith did not fully comprehend that he shouldn't drive home from the pub"

I've got a broken combine harvester – but the manufacturer won't give me the software key

John Doe 12


"...and Sarah Rachor wasn't happy. Ranchor, who runs a farm.........."

Someone wrote this in a hurry - luckily this isn't an email reply to a complaint as nothing fans the flames more than misspelling the name of an angry customer :-D

update: I see the article was corrected a minute or so after posting this. I will stroke my own ego and say that my comment was the reason ;-)

Bezos offers to knock $2bn off his bill to NASA to stay in the running for Moon contract

John Doe 12

Re: Dear Astronaut.

Had to Google the original quote as it made me smile when I first read it:

‘I felt exactly how you would feel if you were getting ready to launch and knew you were sitting on top of 2 million parts — all built by the lowest bidder on a government contract.’— Attributed to John Glenn

Subcontractors working on CityFibre's £45m Derby rollout threaten to 'rip up tarmac' in dispute over payments

John Doe 12

Re: Reason

This scene in Only Fools And Horses (series 7 episode 1) should be made into a training video as it captures perfectly a certain type of customer who kick up endless dust in order to avoid paying bills:


Boycie – He’s gone, has he? Good. He’s been decorating my vestibule – made quite a good job of it, as it happens. I’m well pleased.

Del – (Astounded) But you’ve refused to pay him!

Boycie – No, no, Del Boy. I’ve refused to pay him the agreed price. It’s principle. I kick up a fuss, he don’t want the aggro or the publicity so he knocks 50 per cent off for good will. He gets a living wage and I save two hundred notes… It’s good business.

John Doe 12

Thank you!! That comment made me smile :-D

Thales launches payment card with onboard fingerprint scanner

John Doe 12

"Police described the attacker as wearing a balaclava and holding a bloody paper bag"

No need to swear :-D

Good news: Jeff Bezos went to space. Bad news: He's back

John Doe 12

Kudos for the Phoenix Nights reference :-D

John Doe 12

Re: Avoidance

> So if you don't like the government you have to leave the country?

In more extreme cases the answer to that is YES!! But in the case of Amazon there are plenty of alternatives without having to live the life of someone in the third world so I call hyperbole BS on this comment :-D

Impromptu game of Robot Wars sparks fire in warehouse at UK e-tailer Ocado

John Doe 12

This was indeed a fascinating YouTube clip. Then for some reason the following video was suggested to me by the algorithm and it shows how old school warehouse operations can be WORSE than robots :-D


Hmmmmm, how to cool that overheating CPU, if only there was a solution...

John Doe 12

Well to be honest there is a hint of arrogance in Jakes original comment which narked me. It has that same vibe as "everyone knows that..." which always backfires as the person saying it is usually doing so to someone who didn't know :-D

John Doe 12

Re: Anybody who knows anything about plumbing ...

"Anybody who knows anything about plumbing..."

That sentence is where your entire comment falls down. Plenty of sensible people know nothing useful about plumbing - myself included. Actually I find plumbing to be one of those topics that seems simple on the surface but has many ways to come back and bite you in the ass!!

Foxconn builds stuff for everyone. Now it finds vaccines for Taiwan, and TSMC's chipped in, too

John Doe 12

Re: Fake News Headline

Came here to say that exact thing - but seems like many others were thinking the same :-D

Spacewalk veterans take a trip outside the ISS to pump up the power with new solar arrays

John Doe 12

>>I wonder what the de-orbit plan is ?

With any luck it will be steered to rain down on Beijing as payback for the Chinese raining their space trash over the rest of the planet.

Mensa data spillage was due to 'unauthorised internal download'

John Doe 12

Re: Wow

It's important to note that vegetarians usually don't preach and just get on with their choices - whereas vegans tend to be much more fanatical and in your face.

P.S. The downvote was my mistake - I meant to upvote you which I have now corrected!

John Doe 12

Re: Wow

How do you know if someone is vegan? Don't worry, you will know after 10 minutes :-D

Today I shall explain how dual monitors work using the medium of interpretive dance

John Doe 12

Re: Examples...

I do something similar except using a kitchen as the comparison - the chef being the processor :-D

Boeing fined $17m after fitting uncertified sensors to 737 Max and NG airliners for 4 years

John Doe 12


This should help build up the mental picture :-D

John Doe 12

Now Philip has gone to meet his maker I guess Her Majesty isn't getting much of that oft mentioned "pleasure" any more...

Unfixable Apple M1 chip bug enables cross-process chatter, breaking OS security model

John Doe 12

Re: Major security risk

I keep visiting The Register in the hope of gaining NERD immunity ;-)

Firefly Aerospace's Blue Ghost lunar lander set to ride a SpaceX Falcon 9 to the Moon

John Doe 12

Re: Good value @John Doe 12

I did actually Google this before posting but misread the info :-) I gave you an upvote for the correct advice!!

John Doe 12

Re: Good value

Is this 150kg on Earth or on the Moon? Hope this is specified in the small print ;-)

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes-Benz? Detroit waits for my order, you'd better make amends

John Doe 12

Re: Don't ask "is it plugged in"

I actually get your point here. Some tech support people (not all I hasten to add) are so self-loving and superior that they forget mere mortals also roam this planet :-)

The future is now, old man: Let the young guns show how to properly cock things up

John Doe 12


A great feature to (ab)use - dial a local number to the exchange and then get it to place the long-distance call for you :-D

Norwegian telco Telenor writes off its Myanmar operation

John Doe 12

Nordics in general rock!! Of course being married to one I am perhaps biased ;-)

Ingenuity Mars Helicopter cleared for further, farther, flying after landing on 117-second fourth flight

John Doe 12

Re: Nighttime Landings

Well at the risk of lots of downvotes I guess you could argue that Challenger made a daytime splashdown into the sea.

John Doe 12

Nighttime Landings

"the first time a US mission has landed in the dark since 1968"

Apart from many Space Shuttle landings including the very last one. I know this comment is meant to relate to landing at sea but personally I find it very much open to interpretation the way it's written.

NASA’s getting really good at this flying a helicopter on Mars thing

John Doe 12

Re: Nothing there...

This has to be the most poetic push-back I have ever read!! Well said that man :-D

John Doe 12

Beers All Around

I would like to be the first to say they all deserve a beer from one of the many Mars' bars :-D

NASA comes up with COVID-19 infection detector that's out of this world – E-Nose built from space station gear

John Doe 12

Re: Fake News...

Would be a good prank though - tell someone it's an E-Nose and when they are up close to the nozzle give the device a good squeeze ;-)

John Doe 12

Re: What could possibly go wrong?

"You do realise that your crap is being monitored don't you? Not what you are writing here but your actual crap"

Not seeing much difference here between what Twanky wrote and actual crap that goes into the toilet :-D

British IT teacher gets three-year ban after boozing with students at strip club during school trip to Costa Rica

John Doe 12

Before I continue I will say out loud that I feel the same as you do about this topic - even now as a middle aged adult. But seeing as you and I both read The Register we are probably a small bit like Roy and Moss from the I.T. crowd and so not really a benchmark for typical strip club clientele ;-)

SpaceX flings another bunch of humans into orbit in reused capsule atop reused booster

John Doe 12

Re: Two crews

Even more opportunity for someone to make it into the 248 mile high club :-D

US aviation regulator warns of mid-air collision risk if Garmin TCAS boxes are not updated

John Doe 12

Re: Can I just say that I love the euphemism there...

Been on a 737 where this happened. It was a sudden case of climb, turn, full power to the engines while us passengers cling onto the seats in front of us wondering WTF is going on!!


Lock up your Peloton smart treadmills, watchdog warns families following one death, numerous injuries

John Doe 12


Maybe it's time for Peloton to be rebranded as Pelokas :-D

Ex IBM sales manager, fired after battling discrimination against subordinates, wins $11m lawsuit

John Doe 12


I don't think this is truly a "BLM" issue so calm down dear. Asians and Hispanics are most likely discriminated against in equal measure and this is why I am an "ALM" person. Not because I am white but because "BLM" doesn't hit the target in a proper way.

Pigeon fanciers in a flap over Brexit quarantine flock-up, seek exemption from EU laws

John Doe 12

Re: Puntastic

Yawn. Like the person who wrote this article, "get a life"! Or failing that a job as a D.J.


British gambling giant Betfred told to pay stiffed winner £1.7m jackpot after claiming 'software problem'

John Doe 12

Non Disclosure

I am surprised people aren't more outraged at the attempt to gag the customer with an NDA and a 60k "bribe" which thankfully he threw back into their faces. Another day, another example of the Streisand Effect at work :-D

Post Office awards Fujitsu a £42.5m contract extension for the IT system behind wrongful subpostmaster prosecutions

John Doe 12

Re: The Beast of Bolsover

Sadly this seems to be #fakenews - would have loved it to be true!!

'Imagine' if Virgin Galactic actually did sub-orbital tourism: Firm unveils new chrome job on SpaceShip III

John Doe 12

John Lennon Moment

VSS Imagine can take you on a trip to imagine-land because that's as far as many people will be going on this laughable project. After all these years how many of the people who paid up front have either died or got too old to handle the experience?

John lennon - but everyone else just has to sit and watch from the ground.

I know that a few Reg readers will crack the code in that last sentence ;-)

NASA's Perseverance rover in brick form: China set vs unofficial Lego fan design

John Doe 12

Re: Oops I misread the headline

Me too!!! That's clickbait and a half :-D

What could be worse than killing a golden goose? Killing someone else's golden goose

John Doe 12

Re: One place I workded...

"EA" means in this case??

Seagate UK customer stung by VAT on replacement drive shipped via the Netherlands

This post has been deleted by a moderator

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Dratted 'housekeeping', eh? 150k+ records deleted off UK’s Police National Computer database

John Doe 12

First One To Say...

...Bobby Tables!!

Obviously this kid has grown into a teenager and gone off the rails :-D

UK network Three hikes pay-as-you-go rates by 400% to push punters to buy 'bundles'

John Doe 12

Re: Time for a complaint to Ofcom

This is less of a joke than it sounds. Any Huawei gear I bought from China lately has been arriving with all the logos covered up with silver sticky labels ha ha :-D I assume this is to reduce the risk of intervention by customs.

Pop quiz: You've got a roomful of electrical equipment. How do you put out a fire?

John Doe 12

Re: My manager used halon...

I was a passenger on a Ryanair flight from Stansted to Valencia when the halon (or whatever the equivalent is these days) system discharged into the cockpit. Not fun when suddenly the automated announcement says "DESCEND! EMERGENCY!" three times and then the plane starts to shake like crazy. The shaking I later realised was full deployment of the air-brakes. The pilots (and rest of us) lived to tell the tale due to fast deployment of their oxygen masks. The cabin crew were confused as the masks didn't deploy in the passenger cabin.

Happy memories :-D

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

John Doe 12

Re: Failing switches?

Another moron who thinks the world revolves around them and that if it didn't happen to them then it doesn't happen - period!!

John Doe 12

Re: I have never had a socket switch fail

I love this attitude of "if it's never happened to me then it doesn't exist"!!

I assume you were never in a plane crash either so they don't happen and any such reports are #fakenews ha ha.

Just for your information I had a faulty socket switch only 2-3 months ago on a brand new unit bought locally from a reputable supplier.

Hackers rummaged about in Finnish psychotherapy clinic – now patients extorted with public data dump threats

John Doe 12

Re: Wonderful...

criminals need to be INCINERATED.

Which is what I read this as in my first glance - in this case I think it's more correct!!

Crown Prosecution Service solicitor accused of targeting judge ex-wife's lover through work computer systems

John Doe 12

Didn't you realise that The Register is basically a tech version of the Daily Fail?? :-D



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