* Posts by RockBurner

346 publicly visible posts • joined 26 Aug 2010

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Review: ASUS dual-screen laptop may warm your heart, will definitely warm your lap

RockBurner

Sounds like a machine i'd love (I can never have too many screens), but the touchpad and off-centre keyboard sound irritating enough to make it a reluctant non-starter.

Idea I just had - you used (going back 20 years or more) to be able to get a trackball that clipped to the side of the keyboard on certain laptops (I think they were Toshibas). It connected via a short ps2 lead (iirc, this was before USB was ubiquitous). It was a VERY good alternative to having a mouse or a trackpad (which hadn't come out then I don't think). Has anyone ever heard of something similar in the modern era comprising a small thumb-operated trackball device with a USB connector sticking straight out of it so it can be plugged into the USB socket on the side of the laptop and just 'be' there ready for use?

If not, I may make a quick call to my private patent attorney.....

Prototype app outperforms and outlasts outsourced production version

RockBurner

Same here. Most of the places I've worked favoured speed of development over quality so it wasn't long before 'quick lash-ups' became 'long-standing, reliable core libraries'.

Apple seeks patent for 'innovation' resembling the ZX Spectrum, C64 and rPi 400

RockBurner

Re: Acorn electron, Sinclair QL, various pre-built Raspberry Pies...

It's a quirk of the US patent system that you can apply for, and receive, a patent, WITHOUT any prior art checks.

It's then down to anyone who feels their Intellectual Property is damaged by the new patent, (eg current owners of existing patents for virtually the same thing) to defend themselves.

In a situation where there is no virtually similar patent (but lots and lots of prior art), the IP legalese becomes ... 'muddy'.

What else would you expect from a system written by lawyers...

Have you tried restarting? Reinstalling? Upgrading? Moving house and changing your identity?

RockBurner

Ona similar vein... trying to get a new BB connection for a new home in a relatively rural location, I was advised by the BT operator, genuinely "If you want internet, move somewhere else".

How's that for a big FU.

To err is human. To really screw things up requires a wayward screwdriver

RockBurner

Reminds me of the time I was checking the mis-running of my father's Talbot Alpine (yes, one of THEM).

Plugs out to check for a spark, (ie plug removed, affixed back in cap and held loosely against top of engine to visually see sparks): all good.

Fuel pipe off carb to check for flow when engine on and turned over? (pump only ran when engine was turning):

BANG!

Cue scorched eyebrows and very loud swearing.

Note to self.... REPLACE high voltage plug caps and plugs BEFORE checking if fuel will spurt out of feed pipe! Electrical gremlins are one thing.... when mixed with highly volatile liquids in gaseous suspension they are something else!

Microsoft rang in the new year with a cutesy tweet in C#. Just one problem: The code sucked

RockBurner

You think you've got problems with dates....

Try ensuring csv files created to local standards in every possible country's 'local' standards can be parsed by the same bit of code....

(as a hint... not everyone uses the ' . ' character as the delimiter between integer figures and the following decimals...)

You've stolen the antiglare shield on that monitor you've fixed – they say the screen is completely unreadable now

RockBurner

Re: corroded traces

How else do you think they build in the 'planned obsolescence' ?

A time when cabling was not so much 'structured' than 'survival of the fittest'

RockBurner

Reproducibility of a phenomenon is the very root of true science.

Thank you, FAQ chatbot, but if I want your help I'll ask for it

RockBurner

Re: I am here to help. What can I do for you today?

Must be using the same 'AI' that Amazon use that sends you emails suggestion that you might like to buy the very article that the delivery guy threw over the fence into the ornamental pond that very morning.

BOFH: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

RockBurner

Yup, good advice.... just act like you're somewhat in agreement until you can signal the gents with the straightjackets.

Swooping in to claim the glory while the On Call engineer stands baffled

RockBurner

Re: When is the same not the same.

Ah... character encoding issues..... many a long and fruitless hour has passed during the course of my career thanks to certain colleagues who hadn't realised that there are multiple standards simply for the storage of plain text.....

Samsung releases pair of jeans that can't do anything except cover your legs and hold a Galaxy Z Flip 3

RockBurner

Absolutely agree.

Previous phone was a perfectly acceptable size (Sony Xperia Z5 Compact), and even in a protective case it fitted very nicely in any pocket you could choose to mention.

Decided I wanted a 'rugged' phone with a decent step up in spec from the Z5C and chose a Ulephone Armor 8 Pro, feck me it's HUGE. And it's not the largest thing on the market either (I deliberately chose a screen as small as I could with the other requirements of better spec than the Z5C)

Its getting rather difficult to find any phones with a decent spec and a screen under 6".

Pack your bags – we may have found the first planet outside of our galaxy

RockBurner

Re: Hope

Shouldn't we be loading in the telephone sanitisers and hairdressers?

After all - we all want clean phones and somewhere to get a good haircut when we arrive there....

Judging by the way your face lit up, my inbox just got more attractive

RockBurner

https://xkcd.com/327/

How to keep a support contract: Make the user think they solved the problem

RockBurner

Re: thorough vacuuming removed enough cat hair...

re cat-fur measurement standards.

Used to live with a lady who owned Maine Coons (2).

After about 3 years I dissassembled my laptop to investigate the constant fan issues and removed the equivalent of a 6-month old kitten.

RockBurner

I'd say that's mostly down to GUI developers (on all sides) pushing users towards using the mouse for everything wherever possible (I've no idea why that is).

Case in point - ever tried to find a reliable solution for moving a window from one virtual desktop to another in Win10 without using the mouse?

Facebook may soon reveal new name – we're sure Reg readers will be more creative than Zuck's marketroids

RockBurner

Re: Off the top of my head

From memory:

SPecial

Executive

for

Counter-intelligence,

Terrorism,

Revenge

&

Extortion

Seems fitting to be quite frank.

Canon makes 'all-in-one' printers that refuse to scan when out of ink, lawsuit claims

RockBurner

Re: No print? No buy.

Stopping doors is not a useful function?

(although this is a very expensive way to realise that functionality)

What do you mean you gave the boss THAT version of the report? Oh, ****ing ****balls

RockBurner

Re: Some geezer with a boat

He'd probably have found that funny. :D

RockBurner

I've found that a very involving commute is the best therapy - namely by motorcycle.

So involving is it, that work stress is forgotten about by the time you reach home. The trick is to balance the distance/time of the commute with your level of stress.

RockBurner

Re: Not quite the same, but similar

I spent several years working for a small company where you weren't genuinely part of the company ethos until you'd called the MD a 'See you next Tuesday' to his face*. It was amazing how some of the younger employees struggled with this.

* The first time was a freebie - repeats needed to be due to entirely deserved provocation - I think by the time I left I didn't refer to him by anything else. But he was a genuinely good bloke (and good boss) who simply like to be push the envelope of what the company could achieve and preferred to be reined in in a very blatant manner.

(his 2nd in charge though was a genuine SYNT who created a genuinely toxic atmosphere and was the cause of multiple resignations, including mine).

Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?

RockBurner

Re: Chuddies (sort of)

There's even a term for it : "Vanity sizing".

"If you can fool people into thinking they now fit into a 'smaller' size, they're going to feel happier about buying your brand and will buy again" .... goes the marketing-guru's thought process..... before he's shown into the elevator with the floor panel cunningly modified to have only 10% of it's physical restraining systems, by the BOFH.

A speech recognition app goes into a bar. Speak up if you’ve heard it already

RockBurner

I think you'll find the only time an English Gentleman will run is when engaged in a sporting endeavour. Wild animals should be faced head on with a trusty cane.

Even distressed damsels don't get a look in these days.

All hands on Steam Deck: Fancy a handheld Linux PC that runs Windows apps, sports a custom AMD Zen APU and a touch screen?

RockBurner

Re: I am intrigued

Asus have done a couple of phone-into-tablet docking devices.

BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon

RockBurner

Re: Great murder choice.

Obviously not something the great state of Texas (or other, similar minded states) would ever consider for it's Death Row inmates then - there'd be no obvious terror in the eyes of the inmate for the victims to watch.

Otherwise it seems a reasonable solution for those who approve of such behaviour by the state.

Exsparko-destructus! What happens when wand waving meets extremely poor wiring

RockBurner

"bitten on the behind by the leavings of a shonkmeister"

My own shonky code (over 10 years of PHP, there's plenty of shonk to go around) aside, the worst I'd ever seen was (ironically) right at the beginning of my PHP 'career'.

Joined a small marketing company as a Front-End web dev (with not a lot of 'server-side' knowledge), with the proviso that I'd 'learn up' the server-side as well. After about 6 months I'm working on the front end of a website that is completely AJAX driven (client's demanded it - don't ask), and the content management system is being built by the self-proclaimed PHP Guru in the office who's been there a year or two. He'd been working on this project for 6 months apparently, trying to get the (home-brewed) CMS working correctly (IIRC - it was again AJAX driven with PHP backend over a MySQL db).

For some reason known only to himself and Beelzebub, he'd decided that instead of saving html markup into the db cell for each page of the site (or some other normalised system), the text was saved as "text-string|paragraph-type|text-string|paragraph-type|etc|etc|etc" eg: "Page Title|h1|Page intro copy|block-para|Paragraph 2 copy|para|" etc..... Lists were particularly fun to decipher.

I had to parse these strings to make them display on the site - he had to ensure that each individual string, and it's paragraph type was editable (and without fucking up special characters) - which is what he'd been struggling with for 6 months.

Eventually they had 'discussions' with him, he left, and I got lumbered with it.

Finished the CMS off 2 weeks later (albeit still on the same horrendous database structure), including fixing the encoding issues (still not sure why it was hard just to check that everything was configured to use the same character encoding configuration!) and learnt a hell of a lot..... only for the client to go under a week later!

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection

RockBurner

Re: Hentai

What no IMB?

Our Friends Electric: A pair of alternative options for getting around town

RockBurner

Re: I'd be much happier...

Personally I'd prefer a Peraves E-MonoRacer ( https://www.peravescz.com/electric-version/ ).

Allegedly the slipperiest thing on the road (aerodynamically), but pricey.

Yes - it's top of my lottery list.

https://www.peravescz.com/_files/200000217-09cc109cc3/700/6.jpg

(Apologies for raw urls: I've never figured out the markup formatting in this comment system)

Euro space boffins hatch comms satellite hijack plan to save Earth from extinction

RockBurner

What no love for the original?

With His Scottishness himself at the helm?

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079550/

Galaxy quest: Yet another sub-£500 phone comes to trouble mobile big dogs in the form of Realme GT 5G

RockBurner

Re: Security

Is it not the case though that virtually all modern mobile phones are actually produced in China?

(whether they're sold via a non-chinese brand or not).

I'm not that 'up' on the current situation, but what phones aren't manufactured there? I'd wager 99% of the components are anyway.

Boffins decide what world really needs is indestructible robot cockroaches

RockBurner

Presumably this is just a stop-gap until they can control the real thing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrHMBletjXg&ab_channel=SkylandMedia

BOFH: Oh for Pete’s sake. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself

RockBurner

Re: Stupidity Cancelling Headset

"Yep, that's the one I'd go for if this was Call My Bluff.

Got to be worth a punt on a patent."

Have they finally renamed Dragons Den then?

Who would cross the Bridge of Death? Answer me these questions three! Oh and you'll need two-factor authentication

RockBurner

Re: Ah Captcha!

So, when the AI-controlled cars are rampaging downtown {anycity} mowing pedestrians over left right and centre, it'll all be YOUR fault.

;)

Wanted: Brexit grand fromage. £120k a year. Perks? Hmmmm…

RockBurner

Office of Brexit Opportunities in Europe - Personnel, Industrial & National Collaborations (OBOE-PINC)

A hotline to His Billness? Or a guard having a bit of a giggle?

RockBurner

Re: Not in the same league but...

"I don't know how it is where you work, but in my experience, most of those dumpster fires are because the sales and marketing people lied to the clients about what the software does in order to make a sale, and it falls on the "little people" to make their lies into fact so that they don't lose their bonuses."

Yup, last place I worked at for any length of time, if you hadn't called the Sales guy* a "see you next tuesday" to his face by the end of your first year then you weren't really cut out for the place.***

* Also the MD, Owner, and son of the Accounts lady, lovely fella, but prone to client pleasing**

** Bloody lovely old lass she was.

*** Makes it sound worse than it was, I lasted nearly 10 years, but eventually left because of one genuine, certified "See you next Tuesday".

Intrepid Change.org user launches petition to make Jeff Bezos' space trip one-way

RockBurner

Re: Remember, don't be mean

My thoughts (and confusion) too.

Calendly’s new logo perceived as either bog-standard or kind of crappy

RockBurner

(reading left to right, top to bottom)

"That's blocked the u-bend."

"Uh oh, Diarrhoea again."

"It's got wings!"

"No, i did NOT take a bite from that..."

"Solid and well formed.... those pro-biotics worked a treat"

"There goes a kidney..."

"Rabbit droppings... "

"Ouch!"

"Lasts nights curry was NOT that colour when I ate it"

"That's one mother of a piece of sweetcorn!"

"Pebble-dashing services now offered"

"Ok, who let the wombat in here?"

Inventor of the graphite anode – key Li-ion battery tech – says he can now charge an electric car in 10 minutes

RockBurner

Re: re: Currently the EV market is in the EU

Well - the cabin doesn't have to be a compromise (assuming you've got the bucks)

https://www.peravescz.com/electric-version/

'Ring of fire' headed to northern UK – a partial solar eclipse, not the sensation you get after a potent vindaloo

RockBurner

Re: blurry shadow

Upvoted for the Flash Gordon reference.

Some stayed in Croatian castles. Some hid in cars. We speak to techies who experienced lockdown in very different ways

RockBurner

Re: Happy pre-Covid times

Visor wipers??

Tell me more!

(seriously - sounds like one hell of a trip, I'm somewhat jealous!)

RockBurner

Couldn't agree more.

I found myself in just that situation (including being an unwilling department manager), it got so bad I simply had to up and quit as I was genuinely in danger of physically assaulting my immediate superior.

Took a few months off, tinkered with motorbikes, got another job for 6 months, then the wife decided that she needed a break so we took the opportunity to go travelling in a camper van for a year.

Absolutely the best thing I have ever done (even though we broke up). It allowed me to completely reset and reassess what I wanted from life and career and now although I'm back to being a php dev, I'm very firmly not a manager (and my manager knows this, I am adamant about that not being part of my job), and working for a non-corporate charitable organisation where I can actually 'do some good' for the world rather than just being a cog in someone else's money-syphoning machine.

I'd heartily recommend a sabbatical or career break, there is always another job out there.

RockBurner

I found this interesting:

""The amount of alcohol we are consuming is significantly reduced. We go to bed early and get up early and I'm doing things I never had time to do before."

"I'm really working hard on the business, building processes and systems I never had time to do before," he said."

My partner and I are completely the opposite.

We're staying up later (bingeing West Wing|Line of Duty|Expanse|etc ), to try to forget the drudgery of the working day (which would normally be taken care of by the commute), She's also become a bit of a Skyrim widow :(

Getting up later because we don't need to commute (although we are doing a morning walk instead, about the only exercise we are getting),

Drinking more (at least a glass or wine per evening, sometimes a couple) where we wouldn't normally have any during the week, again I think this is to maintain sanity

Both of us are working from improvised 'desks' that are not really suitable (mine is the dining table with a sit-stand platform and a 2nd monitor, keyboard & trackball) (although today i'm just on the sofa due to unfinished kitchen decorating and my back is already aching), and while we can work, I think we're both missing the office 'banter' that gets you through the day.

Other lockdown restrictions have meant that while I was able to attend my father's funeral last month (my heart really goes out to those who had relatives pass before funeral gatherings were re-opened), we'll have to wait a few more months (hopefully) before we can have a proper celebration of his life. That is merely a single example of the way that the general flow of life has completely changed; well - for those of us who take the restrictions and precautions seriously anyway.

It's got to the point that we're both becoming reluctant to go out and see friends/family (as things open up), because shunning the outside world has almost become our 'normal'. :(

UK Home Office tenders £5m for a supplier to help it greenlight IT projects. Yes, you read that correctly

RockBurner

Have they given it to Dido Harding yet?

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user

RockBurner

Re: The endless story

"I saw a recipe last week that had 'cook until done' as a step."

Which is why I don't cook.

Any instruction set that assumes a distinct level of prior knowledge is not safe.

AWS straps Python support to its automated CodeGuru tool, slashes prices – just don't go over 100,000 lines

RockBurner

Exactly what I was going to ask....

Sure, Dave might seem like he's avidly listening to this morning's meeting, but he's actually doing a yoga routine

RockBurner

Buy a job lot of Lynx cans and distribute them around the desks one morning/evening before/after the office is populated.

(obviously, include your own desk..... I shouldn't really need to say that, but..... )

Rookie's code couldn't have been so terrible that it made a supermarket spontaneously combust... right?

RockBurner

Re: Not just me then.

Nah - the eldest is always the one held responsible, the youngest can't possibly be expected to be aware of the consequences yet....

(eldest of 3 here)

UK's Health Department desperately seeking service provider to run IT after 'cloud-first' shift

RockBurner

Govt contract?

You mean Crapita and/or Dido Harding haven't already been given it?

How do we combat mass global misinformation? How about making the internet a little harder to use

RockBurner

Re: Trust nothing, check your data, use various sources.

Find handle, Open door?

Trello moved 'Facelift' card to Completed on Go Live board

RockBurner

Re: meh.

Agreed.

There's a hell of a lot that is good about removing cruft and keeping things simple.

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