* Posts by RockBurner

232 posts • joined 26 Aug 2010


Facebook may soon reveal new name – we're sure Reg readers will be more creative than Zuck's marketroids


Re: Off the top of my head

From memory:









Seems fitting to be quite frank.

Canon makes 'all-in-one' printers that refuse to scan when out of ink, lawsuit claims


Re: No print? No buy.

Stopping doors is not a useful function?

(although this is a very expensive way to realise that functionality)

What do you mean you gave the boss THAT version of the report? Oh, ****ing ****balls


Re: Some geezer with a boat

He'd probably have found that funny. :D


I've found that a very involving commute is the best therapy - namely by motorcycle.

So involving is it, that work stress is forgotten about by the time you reach home. The trick is to balance the distance/time of the commute with your level of stress.


Re: Not quite the same, but similar

I spent several years working for a small company where you weren't genuinely part of the company ethos until you'd called the MD a 'See you next Tuesday' to his face*. It was amazing how some of the younger employees struggled with this.

* The first time was a freebie - repeats needed to be due to entirely deserved provocation - I think by the time I left I didn't refer to him by anything else. But he was a genuinely good bloke (and good boss) who simply like to be push the envelope of what the company could achieve and preferred to be reined in in a very blatant manner.

(his 2nd in charge though was a genuine SYNT who created a genuinely toxic atmosphere and was the cause of multiple resignations, including mine).

Nothing works any more. Who decided that redundant systems should become redundant?


Re: Chuddies (sort of)

There's even a term for it : "Vanity sizing".

"If you can fool people into thinking they now fit into a 'smaller' size, they're going to feel happier about buying your brand and will buy again" .... goes the marketing-guru's thought process..... before he's shown into the elevator with the floor panel cunningly modified to have only 10% of it's physical restraining systems, by the BOFH.

A speech recognition app goes into a bar. Speak up if you’ve heard it already


I think you'll find the only time an English Gentleman will run is when engaged in a sporting endeavour. Wild animals should be faced head on with a trusty cane.

Even distressed damsels don't get a look in these days.

All hands on Steam Deck: Fancy a handheld Linux PC that runs Windows apps, sports a custom AMD Zen APU and a touch screen?


Re: I am intrigued

Asus have done a couple of phone-into-tablet docking devices.

BOFH: You say goodbye and I say halon


Re: Great murder choice.

Obviously not something the great state of Texas (or other, similar minded states) would ever consider for it's Death Row inmates then - there'd be no obvious terror in the eyes of the inmate for the victims to watch.

Otherwise it seems a reasonable solution for those who approve of such behaviour by the state.

Exsparko-destructus! What happens when wand waving meets extremely poor wiring


"bitten on the behind by the leavings of a shonkmeister"

My own shonky code (over 10 years of PHP, there's plenty of shonk to go around) aside, the worst I'd ever seen was (ironically) right at the beginning of my PHP 'career'.

Joined a small marketing company as a Front-End web dev (with not a lot of 'server-side' knowledge), with the proviso that I'd 'learn up' the server-side as well. After about 6 months I'm working on the front end of a website that is completely AJAX driven (client's demanded it - don't ask), and the content management system is being built by the self-proclaimed PHP Guru in the office who's been there a year or two. He'd been working on this project for 6 months apparently, trying to get the (home-brewed) CMS working correctly (IIRC - it was again AJAX driven with PHP backend over a MySQL db).

For some reason known only to himself and Beelzebub, he'd decided that instead of saving html markup into the db cell for each page of the site (or some other normalised system), the text was saved as "text-string|paragraph-type|text-string|paragraph-type|etc|etc|etc" eg: "Page Title|h1|Page intro copy|block-para|Paragraph 2 copy|para|" etc..... Lists were particularly fun to decipher.

I had to parse these strings to make them display on the site - he had to ensure that each individual string, and it's paragraph type was editable (and without fucking up special characters) - which is what he'd been struggling with for 6 months.

Eventually they had 'discussions' with him, he left, and I got lumbered with it.

Finished the CMS off 2 weeks later (albeit still on the same horrendous database structure), including fixing the encoding issues (still not sure why it was hard just to check that everything was configured to use the same character encoding configuration!) and learnt a hell of a lot..... only for the client to go under a week later!

The world is chaos but my Zoom background is control-freak perfection


Re: Hentai

What no IMB?

Our Friends Electric: A pair of alternative options for getting around town


Re: I'd be much happier...

Personally I'd prefer a Peraves E-MonoRacer ( https://www.peravescz.com/electric-version/ ).

Allegedly the slipperiest thing on the road (aerodynamically), but pricey.

Yes - it's top of my lottery list.


(Apologies for raw urls: I've never figured out the markup formatting in this comment system)

Euro space boffins hatch comms satellite hijack plan to save Earth from extinction


What no love for the original?

With His Scottishness himself at the helm?


Galaxy quest: Yet another sub-£500 phone comes to trouble mobile big dogs in the form of Realme GT 5G


Re: Security

Is it not the case though that virtually all modern mobile phones are actually produced in China?

(whether they're sold via a non-chinese brand or not).

I'm not that 'up' on the current situation, but what phones aren't manufactured there? I'd wager 99% of the components are anyway.

Boffins decide what world really needs is indestructible robot cockroaches


Presumably this is just a stop-gap until they can control the real thing?


BOFH: Oh for Pete’s sake. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself


Re: Stupidity Cancelling Headset

"Yep, that's the one I'd go for if this was Call My Bluff.

Got to be worth a punt on a patent."

Have they finally renamed Dragons Den then?

Who would cross the Bridge of Death? Answer me these questions three! Oh and you'll need two-factor authentication


Re: Ah Captcha!

So, when the AI-controlled cars are rampaging downtown {anycity} mowing pedestrians over left right and centre, it'll all be YOUR fault.


Wanted: Brexit grand fromage. £120k a year. Perks? Hmmmm…


Office of Brexit Opportunities in Europe - Personnel, Industrial & National Collaborations (OBOE-PINC)

A hotline to His Billness? Or a guard having a bit of a giggle?


Re: Not in the same league but...

"I don't know how it is where you work, but in my experience, most of those dumpster fires are because the sales and marketing people lied to the clients about what the software does in order to make a sale, and it falls on the "little people" to make their lies into fact so that they don't lose their bonuses."

Yup, last place I worked at for any length of time, if you hadn't called the Sales guy* a "see you next tuesday" to his face by the end of your first year then you weren't really cut out for the place.***

* Also the MD, Owner, and son of the Accounts lady, lovely fella, but prone to client pleasing**

** Bloody lovely old lass she was.

*** Makes it sound worse than it was, I lasted nearly 10 years, but eventually left because of one genuine, certified "See you next Tuesday".

Intrepid Change.org user launches petition to make Jeff Bezos' space trip one-way


Re: Remember, don't be mean

My thoughts (and confusion) too.

Calendly’s new logo perceived as either bog-standard or kind of crappy


(reading left to right, top to bottom)

"That's blocked the u-bend."

"Uh oh, Diarrhoea again."

"It's got wings!"

"No, i did NOT take a bite from that..."

"Solid and well formed.... those pro-biotics worked a treat"

"There goes a kidney..."

"Rabbit droppings... "


"Lasts nights curry was NOT that colour when I ate it"

"That's one mother of a piece of sweetcorn!"

"Pebble-dashing services now offered"

"Ok, who let the wombat in here?"

Inventor of the graphite anode – key Li-ion battery tech – says he can now charge an electric car in 10 minutes


Re: re: Currently the EV market is in the EU

Well - the cabin doesn't have to be a compromise (assuming you've got the bucks)


'Ring of fire' headed to northern UK – a partial solar eclipse, not the sensation you get after a potent vindaloo


Re: blurry shadow

Upvoted for the Flash Gordon reference.

Some stayed in Croatian castles. Some hid in cars. We speak to techies who experienced lockdown in very different ways


Re: Happy pre-Covid times

Visor wipers??

Tell me more!

(seriously - sounds like one hell of a trip, I'm somewhat jealous!)


Couldn't agree more.

I found myself in just that situation (including being an unwilling department manager), it got so bad I simply had to up and quit as I was genuinely in danger of physically assaulting my immediate superior.

Took a few months off, tinkered with motorbikes, got another job for 6 months, then the wife decided that she needed a break so we took the opportunity to go travelling in a camper van for a year.

Absolutely the best thing I have ever done (even though we broke up). It allowed me to completely reset and reassess what I wanted from life and career and now although I'm back to being a php dev, I'm very firmly not a manager (and my manager knows this, I am adamant about that not being part of my job), and working for a non-corporate charitable organisation where I can actually 'do some good' for the world rather than just being a cog in someone else's money-syphoning machine.

I'd heartily recommend a sabbatical or career break, there is always another job out there.


I found this interesting:

""The amount of alcohol we are consuming is significantly reduced. We go to bed early and get up early and I'm doing things I never had time to do before."

"I'm really working hard on the business, building processes and systems I never had time to do before," he said."

My partner and I are completely the opposite.

We're staying up later (bingeing West Wing|Line of Duty|Expanse|etc ), to try to forget the drudgery of the working day (which would normally be taken care of by the commute), She's also become a bit of a Skyrim widow :(

Getting up later because we don't need to commute (although we are doing a morning walk instead, about the only exercise we are getting),

Drinking more (at least a glass or wine per evening, sometimes a couple) where we wouldn't normally have any during the week, again I think this is to maintain sanity

Both of us are working from improvised 'desks' that are not really suitable (mine is the dining table with a sit-stand platform and a 2nd monitor, keyboard & trackball) (although today i'm just on the sofa due to unfinished kitchen decorating and my back is already aching), and while we can work, I think we're both missing the office 'banter' that gets you through the day.

Other lockdown restrictions have meant that while I was able to attend my father's funeral last month (my heart really goes out to those who had relatives pass before funeral gatherings were re-opened), we'll have to wait a few more months (hopefully) before we can have a proper celebration of his life. That is merely a single example of the way that the general flow of life has completely changed; well - for those of us who take the restrictions and precautions seriously anyway.

It's got to the point that we're both becoming reluctant to go out and see friends/family (as things open up), because shunning the outside world has almost become our 'normal'. :(

UK Home Office tenders £5m for a supplier to help it greenlight IT projects. Yes, you read that correctly


Have they given it to Dido Harding yet?

To have one floppy failure is unlucky. To have 20 implies evil magic or a very silly user


Re: The endless story

"I saw a recipe last week that had 'cook until done' as a step."

Which is why I don't cook.

Any instruction set that assumes a distinct level of prior knowledge is not safe.

AWS straps Python support to its automated CodeGuru tool, slashes prices – just don't go over 100,000 lines


Exactly what I was going to ask....

Sure, Dave might seem like he's avidly listening to this morning's meeting, but he's actually doing a yoga routine


Buy a job lot of Lynx cans and distribute them around the desks one morning/evening before/after the office is populated.

(obviously, include your own desk..... I shouldn't really need to say that, but..... )

Rookie's code couldn't have been so terrible that it made a supermarket spontaneously combust... right?


Re: Not just me then.

Nah - the eldest is always the one held responsible, the youngest can't possibly be expected to be aware of the consequences yet....

(eldest of 3 here)

UK's Health Department desperately seeking service provider to run IT after 'cloud-first' shift


Govt contract?

You mean Crapita and/or Dido Harding haven't already been given it?

How do we combat mass global misinformation? How about making the internet a little harder to use


Re: Trust nothing, check your data, use various sources.

Find handle, Open door?


Just because it's a published academic particle, doesn't mean it's relevant. Academia has evolved to be somewhat self-serving.



Re: Trust nothing, check your data, use various sources.

People aren't 'that stupid', they're 'that uneducated'.

We're taught from birth to 'do what we're told' by parental, and then authority figures, with very little in the way of education about 'how' to process those instructions: Who did they come from? Why was that person saying that thing? What implications are there from that particular person saying that particular thing? etc.

Anecdotally: I was lucky enough to be deliberately taught critical thinking during History GCSE (at a good school, thank you mum & dad!), and it's served me well to be critical and analytical of what I read in the news media. Always think about:

"who is stating this?",

"Why are they stating this?",

"Who are they stating this too?",

"When are they stating this?",

"What are they not stating?",

"Does the audience change the message, or the delivery of the message?",

"What implications are there of the way the message has been changed?",

"What are other people stating about this message, to whom, when, why?" etc etc etc.

Trello moved 'Facelift' card to Completed on Go Live board


Re: meh.


There's a hell of a lot that is good about removing cruft and keeping things simple.

We know it's hard to get your kicks at work – just do it away from a wall switch powering anything important


Got any recordings of said announcements??


I've actually suffered this myself in the past: accidentally kicking the wall-socket switch and powering down the pc right in the middle of writing fiddly code. (or, more likely, browsing El Reg, I don't remember completely, boss).

Obviously: it only happened the once because a piece of duct tape was duly commandeered to serve as a switch movement prevention device, because I knew that:

a) the desk was never going to be moved, and the plug never removed, (at least while I sat there)

b) I'd not be able to remember to not kick my leg out occasionally, and

c) Duct tape holds the universe together.

No ports, no borders, no hope: Xiaomi's cool but impractical all-screen concept phone


Re: Reset hole?

You purchase a new one, der.

ThinkPad T14s AMD Gen 1: Workhorse that does the business – and dares you to push that red button


Re: Red pointy thing

Well - they do exist at least.


I never quite got around to being fully happy with the trackpointer (cl1t-mouse), but loathe trackpads so tend to stick with a trackball anyway.

What would make sense (for me at least) would be a keyboard with a trackball located just beneath the space bar.

Attack of the cryptidiots: One wants Bitcoin-flush hard drive he threw out in 2013 back, the other lost USB stick password


Re: Safekeeping of bits

Just don't accidentally blast it into space....

Developers! These 3 weird tricks will make you a global hero


FWIW I've always tried to build in 'accessibility' improvements as I went, but senior manglement never saw the upside (even when developing for site requiring government approbation, and sites requiring good SEO - yes - accessibility aids SEO (or used to anyway)!), and often would bemoan the extra time taken.


Developers.... such bastards.


(obligatory XKCD)

Server won't boot? Forgot to make that backup? Have no fear, just blame Microsoft


Re: A hard lesson...

Electrolytics capacitors do very strange things electically when they 'pop'. The circuits they're in will be exposed to some very odd current fluctuations and voltage levels, so it's not a surprise when an old cap blows that other damage can occur.

One of my A-level projects (how old am I now... er blimey) was to hook up a very sensitive current measuring device (basically a very fast data recording multi-meter) to a computer, and gleefully overcharge every electrolytic cap I could get my hands on while recording the current and voltage through the test circuitry. :D.

IIRC we even blew a 1 farad (nearly 2 inches diameter), which had been in the stores for years waiting it's moment of glory, everyone was cleared out of the lab and we were still deafened.

Google reveals version control plus not expecting zero as a value caused Gmail to take an inconvenient early holiday


Re: That's what a staging setup is for






This product is terrible. Can you deliver it in 20 years’ time when it becomes popular?


I feel you pain Dabsy - well - somewhat.

I have a long and distinguished history of being able to utterly kill the production, sales, and marketing of any given product: simply by purchasing one example of the item and expressing a liking for it. My praise for a product is enough to somehow, through the vagaries of eddies in the space-time continuum, add it to the manufacturer's kill lists almost instantaneously.

It's become so bad that as soon as I realise I like something when trying it on, or testing it in the shop, I'll buy their entire stockline, just to ensure that in X years time when the product wears out or breaks* I know I can source a replacement/spare parts.

* as all products do

Oh, no one knows what goes on behind locked doors... so don't leave your UPS in there


Re: MicroVAX II Mayflower









Chuck Yeager, sound barrier pioneer pilot, dies at 97


Re: According to his autobigraphy...

Was going to say the same.

IIRC from reading one of his biographies many years ago he didn't rate his own flying skills that highly, but his eyesight allowed him to put himself into the attacking position earlier and thus shoot down more aircraft. (I'd imagine Baron Manfred von Richthofen in WW1, and other aces had similar exceptional eyesight).

Pure frustration: What happens when someone uses your email address to sign up for PayPal, car hire, doctors, security systems and more


Re: Other casual people

Everyone gets their own domain at birth?


Hmm, if BobSmith@gmail, is receiving emails for Bob.Smith@gmail..... is Bob.Smith@gmail receiving emails for BobSmith@gmail??

If so - has BobSmith (or Bob.Smith for that matter), done the sensible thing and moved all their online accounts away from that email address? Because if not, BobSmith is relying on Bob.Smith to be as morally well adjusted as himself.



Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2021