* Posts by Donk

21 publicly visible posts • joined 23 Aug 2010

Fragile Agile development model is a symptom, not a source, of project failure

Donk
Joke

STOP DOING AGILE

Requirements are not meant to change every two weeks

Years of estimating yet no real world evidence of anything getting done faster

"In order to reduce process we add more process" - statement dreamed up by the utterly deranged

Poker is a game, not a planning tool

T-shirt size estimation belongs in the clothing store, not software development

"Points represent complexity, not time" yet you keep on measuring how many points fit in a week?

People who want to "burn down" belong in jail, not run software teams

Same goes for people doing grooming

This is real scrum done by real scrum masters:

start: 50 points

Done: 70 points

Remaining: 100 points

They have played us for absolute fools

Nobody does DR tests to survive lightning striking twice

Donk
Trollface

Surely the lightning strike did both of you a favour getting you out of the hell that is Luton, if only for a little while.

From someone born in Luton who got out while they could.

Atos and Nest part company two years into 18-year £1.5bn contract

Donk

Re: Another waste of UK tax payers money?

Waste of tax payers money, or preventing it by not accepting the nickle and diming that the big outsourcing outfits are infamous for?

Excel's comedy of errors needs a new script, not new scripting

Donk

From "Humble Pi: A Comedy of Maths Errors" by Matt Parker

"The European Spreadsheet Risks Interest Group (yes, that is a real organization, one dedicated to examining the moments when spreadsheets go wrong) estimates that over 90 per cent of all spreadsheets contain errors."

ESRIG: http://www.eusprig.org/

In the same chapter, he also talks about the same Excel issue that you just mentioned and how biologists have had to rename enzymes because Excel "autocorrects" them

TL;Dr Another quote from "Humble Pi: A Comedy of Maths Errors" by Matt Parker -

"Tell them to use a real database LIKE AN ADULT."

When ERP migrations go bad: Games Workshop says project issues are delaying refresh of 'dated' online store

Donk

Re: "The early concepts look amazing"

I've found if you don't mind putting in the effort, you can bulk buy old armies off eBay and strip the paint. Might save you some money.

Donk

Re: "The early concepts look amazing"

Good luck with that, the original artists were bought out and the show paywalled for GWs streaming service, Warhammer+. No doubt you'll find reuploads on YT but they'll no doubt be taken down in short order.

Donk

Re: BOFH

It in the last few years went a long time between releases, sure, but that doesn't mean it wasn't still an ongoing project. And the family was a reason for not continuing, as he needed to pay the bills for his family and he can't do that fighting lawsuits.

Donk
FAIL

BOFH

Maybe a BOFH decided he didn't like the bullshit GW are pulling with community creators who have attracted newcomers to their games. Emperor TTS having to be put on hiatus because the creator can't afford the risk of being sued really sucks.

NCSC's London HQ was chosen because GCHQ spies panicked at the prospect of grubby Shoreditch offices

Donk

Shoreditch would have been a poor choice of location for anyone travelling between Cheltenham and London. From Paddington the nearest they can get on a single tube line would be Moorgate or Liverpool Street, whereas Victoria is a single trip on the Circle or District line.

Google to pull plug on Play Music, its streaming service that couldn't beat Spotify, in favour of YouTube Music

Donk
Thumb Up

Re: Desktop client

Google Play Music Desktop Player does both GPM and YTM

https://www.googleplaymusicdesktopplayer.com/

SpaceX is about to launch its first Starlink internet satellite sporting a sun visor following complaints by astronomers

Donk

Re: Solution?

Plenty of kids and adults I know get actively excited about seeing the Starlink satellites crossing the sky.

Hey, Brits. Your Google data is leaving the EU before you are: Hoard to be shipped from Ireland to US next month

Donk

The Data Protection Act 2018

The Data Protection Act 2018 which is the UKs implementation of GDPR is a UK law. Brexit makes no difference to this.

Fed-up air safety bods ban A350 pilots from enjoying cockpit coffees

Donk

There seems to be one for each seat, in line with the back of the seat on the side panel?

Seems plenty good enough to me.

Do not adjust your set, er, browser: This is our new page-one design

Donk

I'm not a fan - the layout of stories doesn't appear to be uniform with gaps here there and everywhere.

Plus crying "waaah you don't like change" is exactly what other webdevs do as they remove usability and functionality from their websites, ala Facebook or Twitter. You're better than that El Reg!

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

Donk

Blue Screen of Death

A malty pint of mild would be the ultimate diversion while you turn your kit off and on again

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Donk

It's world ocean day, so I ate some lovely Isalata de Mare for lunch.

Might have some more fish to spite the Peta terrorists.

Hold the phone! Crap customer service cost telcos £2.9 BEEEELLION in 2016

Donk
Paris Hilton

And yet...

You'd think with service this bad you'd have leftists queuing around the block calling for renationalisation of the telecommunications industry, given that's what they do for rail and energy suppliers.

Paris, because even she is smarter than leftists who think nationalisation will fix anything.

Three-commas Thiel expresses love for himself, Trump and downtrodden millionaires

Donk

Re: Thiel and the free press

Let's not forget that Gawker outed Thiel while he was undertaking business in Saudi Arabia, putting his life at risk.

EU turns screws on Android – report

Donk
FAIL

Typical EU

The EU will go after anyone but Apple - and given how Apple force out app developers who develop functionality which provides similar functionality to Apple products, while not allowing hardware competition within the iOS ecosystem, it's clear which one of those 3 is actually the least consumer friendly.

Most of the time I regret Brexit but at times like this I sometimes wonder if Leavers have a point?

Top Ten Retro PC Games

Donk
Unhappy

No Total Annihilation?

Starcraft over Total Annihilation? For shame.

Alpha Centauri is another sorely missing one.

Halo: Reach leaked to net 3 weeks before release

Donk
Flame

Title should read...

Idiots risk jail time to play yet another copy of a really bad FPS.

The moderatrix should add a Gordon Freeman picture!