* Posts by Joe Harrison

858 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Jun 2007

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All cool kids' phones run ALTERNATIVE alternative custom Android ROM

Joe Harrison

Not like Skype then

Not another popular open source project which is bought commercially so that it can be "enhanced" by persons unknown.

Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII

Joe Harrison

Got to keep it

If every character needs 16 bits rather than 8 then the NSA will only be able to store half as much of our stuff

Hundreds of hackers sought for new £500m UK cyber-bomber strike force

Joe Harrison

They won't really do it

They trot out this old chestnut every so often and nothing ever comes of it.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/police-forces-sign-up-civilian-iplods-to-beat-cyber-crime-6372096.html

That's from 2011, did it happen? (no)

Blighty's great digital radio switchover targets missed AGAIN

Joe Harrison

satellite FTW

I got a complete satellite TV kit from Screwfix for GBP 49.99 and it works great. There is a fuge number of free radio channels. They come in at decent technical quality as well. OK no good in the car obviously but fine for home.

@monkeyfish yes I could have used the Pound sign but you never quite know how it is going to come out. BT sent me a phone bill for so many Dollars once and they were well miffed when I actually wanted to pay it.

London Underground cleaners to refuse fingerprint clock-on

Joe Harrison

That's it then

AC mentioned the Nazis. Thread officially Godwinned no more comments please

Joe Harrison

Cost you mate

The unique artistic patterns on my fingers are copyright © me. Anybody wants to scan them I am willing to talk about license fees.

NIST denies it weakened its encryption standard to please the NSA

Joe Harrison

very carefully worded statement

NIST denies that they themselves (NIST) did any crypto weakening.

Vodafone and Verizon update relationship status: $130bn worth of complicated

Joe Harrison

Re: Commendable

I upvoted this on a selfish level since my pension does have exactly that. Neither do I like bureaucratic waste.

I am a bit fed up though of stories which go:

1. Massive profits made

2. (Incomprehensible financial mumbo-jumbo)

3. So we don't pay tax!

'Kim Jong-un executes nork-baring ex and pals for love polygon skin flick'

Joe Harrison

Re: Cult of Personality

Gorky Park was a gripping and exciting read so I bought all his other books. Don't make the same mistake, they are no good.

Comet brand yanked from its grave: Tycoon vows to open EIGHTY new stores

Joe Harrison

People have long memories

I bought a car stereo from Comet. Not only did it stop working but it chewed to pieces my saved-up-for Uriah Heep cassette. Comet took the whole tangled mess back for "repair" and I never saw it, or my money, again. I vowed never to buy from them in the future and I never did. It can't just be me. Why would anyone want to put money into a brand like that.

The terrifying tech behind this summer's zombie assault

Joe Harrison

Re: "3D films are increasingly becoming the standard"

Very true I've only been to one 3D film which was Prometheus and I'm not doing that ever again.

If nobody goes to see them at the theatres the studios might be hopeful of watch-at-home sales but 1.6TB per movie isn't going to make that easy.

Facebook turns tables on profile stalkers with News Feed tweak

Joe Harrison

Interesting what will happen to it

Originally my joining their site coincided with the start of a new real-life social pastime and I found it incredibly useful because it automatically served me up with what I wanted to see. Fast forward to the present and you have to make too much effort wading through stuff. I barely do anything on it now.

I think it will be a long slow popularity decline but what if instead one day they finally cross the line with that one tweak too many and people just overnight give up on it.

Jokes of no more than 2 lines

Joe Harrison

Cake shop

Man goes into a cake shop, points at a cake, and says "Is that a macaroon or a meringue?"

Shopkeeper says "no you were right, it certainly is a macaroon"

Joe Harrison

Chickens as usual

Why did the chicken cross half-way across the road?

It was a Rhode Island Red

HALF of air passengers leave phones on ... yet STILL no DEATH PLUNGE

Joe Harrison

Your phone works on electricity

It's not about radio interference.

If something goes wrong and you're in a crashed plane on the tarmac then you will likely have swimming-pool sized amounts of jet fuel sloshing about. In these circumstances you don't want lots of broken electrical gadgets sparking the place up.

Russia's post-Snowden spooks have not reverted to type

Joe Harrison

Maybe they don't type on the typewriters

Maybe they need mechanical keyboards for some sort of non-electronic code machine they designed themselves. They remove the actual paper feed part of the typewriter and fill it up with special crypto rotors and what have you.

Chromecast: We get our SWEATY PAWS on Google's tiny telly pipe

Joe Harrison

I wanted one until...

I read the part of the article which says it can't stream content from local servers. Anyone who is interested in this sort of thing already has at least one way to watch youtube on their tv.

I'll stick with XBMC

How Novell peaked, then threw it all away in a year

Joe Harrison

Novell was great

So long as you played the game and kept taking dozens of exams they had an enormous entertainment budget. I went to endless freebies, parties, days out, I remember a mini-olympics like the one in the article, all-expenses paid trips to their annual conference thing in Utah. Good times!

BBC abandons 3D TV, cites 'disappointing' results

Joe Harrison

H3dache

My distance vision is borderline but I don't normally wear glasses. I went to see "Prometheus" and unexpectedly it was in 3D. Did not have optical glasses with me but watched film anyway just with the 3D glasses.

Result: did not enjoy film and absolutely splitting headache for hours afterwards. Strangely enough I have not felt like ordering a 3D telly.

British Bebo founder buys back social network for $849m profit

Joe Harrison

Re: Local shop, for local people

Very late 90's and early 00's every single work-experience kid in our office was obsessed with faceparty.com so surely they were one of the very first. It was THE social network (if you were a teen.)

Stay away from the light, Kodak! Look, here's $406m to keep you alive

Joe Harrison

it's dead Jim

Some of my cubicle-mates are still using film, as a sort of whimsy as far as I can tell. Reminds me of when I was a kid I knew people who were sticking with 78s none of this vinyl stereo crap thank you.

Hey mobile firms: About that Android thing... Did Google add a lockout clause?

Joe Harrison

They missed the obvious

All they have to do is create their own free Android replacement which is better and therefore has massive takeup, then sit back with popcorn to watch Google's dismay.

Foreign keys, JavaScript support on deck for MySQL Cluster update

Joe Harrison
Thumb Up

Bit of a booster

I've done a bit with MySQL so I think I can legitimately put "Oracle DBA" on my CV now

Think you're ready to make a big career bet? Read this first...

Joe Harrison

You can offshore hardware maintenance...

When you offshore the hardware. It will then also be using someone else's electrical power.

NASA: Trip to Mars would exceed 'fatal cancer' radiation risk

Joe Harrison

What they will really do

1. Start expensive but pointless research project for Mars capability. Keep stashing the money somewhere.

2. After years of gravy the project makes a "breakthrough" and "discovers" technology already reverse-engineered from crashed Roswell ships.

3. Profit!

How God and übergeek Ron Crane saved 3Com's bacon

Joe Harrison

Re: Then there is the 3C501 card.

And the 3C509... about 75% of my "omg netware server down" support calls were caused by these.

Although to be fair 3Com clearly said they were supposed to be for desktop use only, not servers, but people didn't read the instructions and put them in anyway.

EU boffins in plan for 'more nutritious' horsemeat ice cream

Joe Harrison
WTF?

wtf wtf wtf

I think I've slipped into a parallel universe where everyone is competing for the most repulsive idea imaginable

Half of youngsters would swap PRIVACY for... cheaper insurance

Joe Harrison

Re: Data driven

They vary but I talked to the callcentre lady for one of the companies and she said she had it in her own car and loved it. You pay a premium in the normal way but they give you a web account to which you login every week and see how many discounts you got for keeping your cornering, braking, acceleration and speed within the parameters they like. She said it had made her more conscious of her driving which yes I suppose it would really if you knew that scorching away from the lights actually cost you money.

Joe Harrison
WTF?

Telematic insurance is more expensive

I recently spent a huge amount of time looking for insurance for my teen son and his first car. Insane amounts of money were quoted but the cheapest was not actually the telematic. The whole thing is a very expensive mystery for example the company I eventually went with offered me fully comp more cheaply than third party fire and theft.

The premium for the rejected telematic quote was £100 per hour extra for driving after 11:00PM. I can see why they would want to try and deter night-time young driving but don't forget a young person is likely to be a student and thus to have a part-time evening job and so it is with my son he clocks off at 11 and obviously needs to get home from work.

Android is a mess and needs sprucing up, admits chief

Joe Harrison
Thumb Up

I don't care it's a mess

In the old days I typically used to pay quite a lot for something like a Nokia series 40. The "user experience" was never all that configurable, iut was take it or leave it, and I just had to get used to working around all the things I didn't like.

Now for what seems to me like much less money I can get a much nicer phone with which I can do more or less whatever I want. Android FTW all the way.

Spotify spews 'unencrypted' FREE MP3s all over creation

Joe Harrison

Re: Artist can also choose to share their music with pink singing ponies and a barf bag.

I spend a lot of time in clubs and the DJ comes along with his laptop and plays an MP3 which sounds great to him ON HEADPHONES. Sounds terrible however on big speakers. I'm guessing it's something to do with the psychoacoustic model.

Impoverished net user slams 'disgusting' quid-a-day hack

Joe Harrison

My problem with Lester

I approve in general of what he is doing but I wish he wouldn't make it sound like he is going through such hell. His colonic eruption piece yesterday was funny but it's not helpful to encourage people to think that healthy/frugal/whatever eating is something you do for a limited time as a sort of penance which brings nasty toilet consequences. I am sure his guts really do feel a bit funny but this is actually the result of suddenly loading his body with high-fibre food when it has previously been used to an easier ride. If you eat this sort of food all the time you are no more gassy than anyone else. Just sayin.

Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack in bullet-hard chickpea drama

Joe Harrison

I approve and award you hero of soviet union

Seriously we should all do more of this. You can get fantastic nutrition out of cheap veg and pulses and I do get tired of hearing "poor people are malnourished because they can only afford mac fry king burgers."

Slight shock when I speed-read the article as "while peeing occasionally into the bubbling broth"

T-Mobile UK punters break for freedom in inflation-busting bill row

Joe Harrison
FAIL

Mobile contracts = Fail

If you are a business then OK maybe there is a reason to sign up. For the average person it's difficult to get value from these typical one-sided mobile contracts. They dangle the shiny "free" smartphone to get you on board but after that you are powerlessly over a barrel paying through the nose for two years. Stick with pre-pay, save money, and have the satisfaction of disrupting their extorting business model.

El Reg drills into Google's search biz offer to Europe

Joe Harrison

What is the point

What is the point of having free and open competition if the best one is not allowed to win?

Are you being robbed of sleep by badly designed servers?

Joe Harrison

Remotely flashing BIOS?

Do people really do that, on boxes that matter? I wouldn't fancy it!

O2 tries something completely new: Honesty

Joe Harrison

Re: No more contracts for me

Yes of course I read it, and used my biro to delete that and a couple of other daft clauses. They accepted the amended contract, no doubt because I was bringing my own hardware so they were not subsidising me . Did not stop them half-heartedly trying it on later when I terminated.

I was just making the point that the current two-year lock-ins are NOTHING! People should stay away from contracts altogether - if the operator finds a reason to surprise you with a huge bill there is little you can do about it. At least with pre-pay the most you can lose is a tenner or so.

Joe Harrison

No more contracts for me

My first ever (1990's) mobile phone came with a TEN-YEAR contract with Nokia Mobira. I was able to get out of it but since then have never trusted contracts and prefer the way pre-pay puts you back in control. There is always an affordable handset which is nearly as shiny as the expensively subsidised ones - currently the phone modding community likes the Huawei Ascend G300. So, 100 quid for a very capable rooted phone and £7.50 a month with unlimited data.

Researcher hacks aircraft controls with Android smartphone

Joe Harrison

ADS-B is really good

Although it's a one-way broadcast from the plane so I don't completely see the security implications apart from the possibility of somehow spoofing the aircraft location with a stronger signal.

For real-world ADS-B fun try

www.flightradar24.com

Mobile location data identifies individuals

Joe Harrison

Google Latitude

Google Latitude is interesting but scary. If you let it, it will produce a fascinating report with pie-chart showing how much of your time you spend at work, at home, other places (complete with addresses), your airline flights, plus detailed log of your movements day by day. All without you doing anything apart from install the Android app and letting it run.

Reg man goes time travelling at iconic observatory

Joe Harrison

set the controls for the heart of the sun

I went there as a child too. The smaller dish (still looked big to me) was designed to pick up radio signals from the sun. They displayed the sun's position and if you steered the dish right (using the joysticks) then you were rewarded by an oscilloscope display of solar noise.

I remember feeling smug when I did it but was immediately told off by some other kid's dad for hogging the controls. The other kid then proceeded to drive it around some random and very unsolar directions :(

Furious Stephen Fry blasts 'evil' Reg and 'TW*T' Orlowski

Joe Harrison

He's not too bad

Can't say I'm a fan but he's not that bad. If we're looking for genuinely deserving targets for the Reg's fully operational deathstar then I am sure forum members would be only too willing to come up with suggestions.

Review: Sony Xperia Z

Joe Harrison

Why is it £500?

You wouldn't expect to pay anything like that for a similar spec tablet. Why does the price shoot up when the telephony module goes in.

It's the Peer 2.0: Martha Lane Fox now a crossbench baroness

Joe Harrison

Her dad is a laugh

Robin Lane Fox used to write a column in the FT and in it he was spouting in all seriousness about a mysterious American internet guru named Batson D. Sealing. The next week his piece started with "Er, my daughter has explained to me that..."

Google: Our 'freedom of expression' should trump punters' privacy

Joe Harrison

Re: Scarily agree with Google!

That is where we all lose out by saying goodbye to a very handy Google feature.

If Google is actually caching the data then their argument is a lot weaker than if they can say "but we are merely pointing to something that is legitimately there." Google know this so they are phasing out their cache availability. Cached content is already a lot harder to access than it used to be and I expect Google will eventually cite the decline in usage to get rid of it altogether.

Welcome to our Wi-Fi: Devicescape reinvents landing page

Joe Harrison

wi-fi providers their own worst enemy

The pub near me offers free wi-fi but it is a lot of trouble to use.

How would the average person understand why their tweetbook app is reporting "no connectivity" despite the wi-fi icon being lit?

Even if they can figure out that browser-based signup is required they still are faced with typing in several fields of registration data. Simple on a laptop but irritating on your phone keyboard. Then a password a random mixed case string which really is tricky on a phone especially when fighting against the spelling corrector.

The owners were quite proud when they put in the free wi-fi but I suspect they are disappointed at low customer take-up...

Bundestag holds 'unusual' hearing on German Copyright Act

Joe Harrison

Re: robots.txt is bollocks

Here is an example robots.txt - if you don't believe it got respected by Google then show us some disallowed content in Google's results.

http://www.last.fm/robots.txt

Joe Harrison

No sympathy

Anyone with basic webmaster experience knows that putting un-password-protected content on your website implicitly means you are granting access for world+dog to see it.

If you are OK with that but specifically want Google to keep its nose out of your content then use a robots.txt and Google will stay respectfully away from you.

I used to be an Oracle DBA ... but now I'm a Big Data guru

Joe Harrison

Can anyone point me at a good newbies guide?

I just happen to have some large traditional-style databases within which I suspect there is valuable information I am not finding. I would like to experiment with "big data" (whatever it's called) alternative approaches, hopefully bolstering my CV in the process. Now what?

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