Posts by bdam

Phone-free Microsoft patents Notch-free phone

Re: Oh dear

You can say that again: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFe0S3F389w

Take that, gender pay gap! Atos to offshore hundreds of BBC roles

A message to those who lost their jobs from Gary Lineker

Cheerio

Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Re: And Picard is now a turd

Well done for not saying anything about wiping out Klingons.

'I urge everyone to fight back' – woman wins $10k from Microsoft over Windows 10 misery

Re: Let the lawsuits begin

So you see, your honour, at breakfast I bit into the slice of toast at the exact moment the windows 10 pop up appeared on the TV screen in my kitchen as I was watching the weather forecast, at which point like anyone I could not resist the urge to laugh uncontrollably. I could not breathe. I thrashed about the kitchen choking, knocking the TV, laptop, a few smartphones and a few expensive porcelain ornaments to the floor before my wife performed the heimlich on me, in the process dislocating her neck requiring expensive private medical attention.

All this came to $10,001 exactly. A cheque will be fine, thanks.

Holding out for a Jobs: Tim Cook still auditioning for position of Apple god

Re: Why no mention of their greatest inventions?

Don't forget the exciting innovation of apologising wrong.

Canonical reckons Android phone-makers will switch to Ubuntu

Re: a bit harsh on the other fruity one

The microsoft line on that chart is what statisticians term "floor noise",

Surely the only meaningful equivalent in 2016 will just have Android, iOS and "others".

Windows 10 on Mobile under the scope: Flaws, confusion, and going nowhere fast

@dogged Chuckle :-)

What is Apple's idiot tax on Watch these days? 'About $265 or 80%'

Re: Check your brains at the door, you won't need them.

He was a great man indeed, and during #antennagate sure knew how to hold his phone.

Sysadmins, patch now: HTTP 'pings of death' are spewing across web to kill Windows servers

It "IIS" thing

It's some kind of irrelevant obscure web server, right?

Can I visit it using "IE", which I hear is some kind of irrelevant obscure desktop web browser?

How about this "Windows Mobile" - that's as irrelevant and obscure, will that work with it?

With so much irrelevance floating around, why such a fuss?

Lib Dem manifesto: Spook slapdown, ban on teen-repelling Mosquitos

Re: British politics in a nutshell

One leaders Cast Iron Guarantee is worth as much as anothers Boom And Bust promise - and both equal anothers Tuition Fee Pledge.

I was painful watching the helpless LibDems during this parliament. Even at every party conference during their once-per-century stint in power, Nick Cleggs main message was "I'm sorry".

Woman caught on CCTV performing drunken BJ blew right to privacy

Re: If the piss touched a live wire and they got fried

On the other hand, that's a video I'm sure would be popular indeed!

HOLD IT! Last minute gifts for one's nerd minions

CozyBot - it's not just for Christmas, its for all Android fans ;-)

Mention others in the comments? Okey dokey - CozyBot is the desktop phone holder every Android fan needs, for the price of a Big Mac meal. Get it here.

Microsoft's Azure goes TITSUP PLANET-WIDE AGAIN in cloud FAIL

Re: Strangely Poetic

When the watch stops it's your fault for not winding it up. When azure stops it's your fault for relying on microsoft.

Steve Jobs makes world a better place FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Re: Blilliance

It makes this adjustment without using any power - even when switched off - making it eco-friendly too. And its users get an extra special surprise when its done this and they first see it.

And all because of the superior Apple user experience.

Moon landing was real and WE CAN PROVE IT, says Nvidia

David Icke says the moon is hollow

Coz it rings like a bell

Anyway, so now the stars are visible. Hold on, the tin hat brigade said the reason they were blacked out was because at the time NASA hadn't got the tech to show their correct positions from such a different perspective, so would be caught out and had no option. So now we *can* compare them lets get on with it!

Unless...drat, they could be digitally inserting them today at the positions they are known to have been in back in '69. Oh my head hurts...

XBOX ONE owners rage as HDMI SNAFU 'judders' Brit and Euro tellies

The gift that keeps on giving

Microsoft - you never fail to disappoint.

Surface RT: A plan worthy of the South Park Underpants Gnomes

Re: They scoffed when Bob called 2013 Microsofts year of hell

@Bob

No-one wants <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/07/19/us-microsoft-research-idUSBRE96I0MO20130719">their shares.</a>

Sleek Nokia Lumia details EXPOSED ahead of Thursday's disrobing

Re: Me got new one, me got bright yellow one

Remember folks - this is what Symbian was thrown away for, because we were all told it was a "burning platform", and Android swerved because "there is no way to differentiate handsets", unlike, err, the way manufacturers can infinitely customize WP8. Just don't tell that to Samsung, Sony, HTC etc.

Actually, yellow is an appropriate color when you think of whos pocket Elop was in when he made this "decision".

Samsung mocks Apple lawsuit in SuperBowl teaser ad

True, but not as embarrassing as Apple being ordered to print apologies for the same lie in the British press.

Then told to again, because they apologised wrong.

Microsoft releases first Windows OS in an original American language

Re: Consumer reports say you're best to swerve it, no matter what the language

This one is lovely:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WTYet-qf1jo#!

Microsoft's anti-Android Twitter campaign draws ire, irony

#DroidRage

Isn't #DroidRage what this guy suffered when he realised he should have used one instead of the fail he was forced to?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zxDa3t0fg

Retailers report slow Windows 8 sales, low demand

A "boost during the holiday season"?

WTF are these guys on? As if anyones gonna trash someone they care abouts computer by giving them windows 8.

Windows Phone 8 reboot woe causes outpouring of forum misery

This is what Nokia was destroyed for?

Windows 8 security is like a swiss cheese flak jacket - sez AV firm

Re: Fallapartgate

Don't forget their cloud offering - down again:

http://www.zdnet.com/microsoft-hit-by-second-office-365-email-outage-in-five-days-7000007342/

Perhaps Sinofsky did more than just publicly give Ballmer the bird when he left?

Surface sales 'modest' so far, Ballmer modestly admits

Re: Not surprising

And this is before the news came out they fall apart within days?

Man, 19, cuffed after burning Remembrance poppy pic is Facebooked

I also find poppy related crimes offensive

Where do I complain?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5380085/MPs-expenses-Ed-Ballss-claim-for-Remembrance-Sunday-wreaths.html

India gets $25 Android tablet

Re: Will it be available in the UK at a reasonable price

Depends on the shape of its corners.

Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

Re: Falling apart at the seams?

Perhaps this guy might have been able to give some advice regarding shit hardware running shit software: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-pMZd1fupw

Re: It just keeps getting better,

"Why do you enjoy seeing other people have problems?"

Not other people generally, microsoft specifically. Decades of bullying have come home to roost.

Android: Google's baby ate 75% of smartphones in just 4 years

Beware flying chairs in Redmond

"Symbian, for all its impending death, still managed to outsell Windows Phone by shipping 4.1 million, well over the 3.6 million devices running Microsoft's latest foray into mobility."

Woz labels Apple 'arrogant' over iPhone size inadequacy

"Siri, Apple has taken a lot of flak for their maps recently."

"Can you give me an example showing they are not just a bunch of humourless wannabees totally regretting their decision to ditch Google Maps?"

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/33227345172/the-southern-argentinian-boner-isles

Six months under water and iPhone 4 STILL WORKS

And on first boot it downloaded iOS6.

A search party has been dispatched.

iPhone 5: the fab slab to grab

Re: Eh! WTF

Siri, do you have any examples of the dramatic effects global warming is having on the environment?

http://theamazingios6maps.tumblr.com/post/32188743730/apparently-belgrade-serbia-has-no-rivers

Fuming fanbois flood 'flimsy iPhone 5 Wi-Fi' forum

Re: What a fantastic user experience new iPhone users get

Missed the user experience of being blamed for it scratching easily:

http://www.autoomobile.com/news/black-iphone-5-scratch-2/1003949/

What a fantastic user experience new iPhone users get

They get the user experience of being lost.

They get the user experience of not being able to get a WiFi signal.

They get the user experience of the new adapters they are forced to buy jamming in their sockets.

And of course they get the user experience of not having to carry those pesky full wallets about.

Thats the Apple advantage - its all about the user experience.

Rumour: Asus rejects $99 Nexus 7... rumour

Go for it!

The lost flock of iSheep will be getting their 7 incher before Christmas, so let this baby rip into it with both barrels!

Google+ claims 100 million 'active' users

Re: It sure is.

@sabroni I'm reminded of what Russell Brand said when he was caught making obscene phone calls with Jonathan Ross: "All I ever wanted to do was make people laugh.". The best reply, actually from the letters page in Viz: "Well Russell, start when you're ready".

It sure is.

I don't know why its so fashionable to knock these figures. No one mentions Microsofts numbers in social - if they actually do anything in that area, that is.

iPhone 5 has 'laser keyboard, holographic images'

Re: If true...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

Yahoo! ditches! BlackBerry! for! 'smart! fun!' phones!

Yah Who?

Fuck me, they still going?

Apple's first batch of iPhone 5 preorders sold out in an hour

Re: Every time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdIWKytq_q4

One more try: Metro apps are now 'Windows Store' apps

Everything's topsy turvy these days

Apple just launched a turkey where previously they'd been doing rather well in that department.

Microsoft always had turkeys but salvaged them by spending zillions in marketing. As the article shows, that''s now turned into a fiasco.

Nokia ... well, you get the idea.

iPhone 5: skinny li'l fella with better display, camera, software

Re: There really is no NFC?

Its' always better to shoot messengers when i'ts not possible to deal with any of the points raised, although I see the upvoters find 'its message came though loud and clear :-)

Re: Headline

Exactly - they're now just another Android wannabe.

There really is no NFC?

Wow, this is a bigger piss take than letting the fanbois think they were getting the iPhone5 last year then just giving them the same one with an "S" at the end.

Seriously - this is what they call innovation?

Its a larger screen, of the kind the Android handsets had 2 years ago.

Its got LTE, of the kind Android handsets had well over a year ago.

Its cameras and speed now match the Android handsets from a year ago.

Its adapter has changed from one proprietary format to another just to take the piss.

A bundled app found on every platform over the last 2 years to stick photos together is trumpeted as a huge breakthrough.

And existing apps look shit because they only stretched the screen in 1 direction, and are new to fragmentation unlike Android which has been dealing with this for years.

This could almost make microsofts offering look good.

Windows 8? Nah: Win Phone 8 should give Apple the fear

What kind of logic is this?

"While Windows Phone 8 is an impressive step forward for Microsoft, its biggest selling point is that it's not iOS and not Android."

Neither was Symbian.

Everything Everywhere swept away by its own 4G hype tsunami

Quick! Second choice seems for sale: http://eebygum.com

Nokia apologizes for faking Lumia 920 ad

Will they apologise to shareholders for faking hope of success with microsoft?

Thought not.

Windows 8: Download it, then speak YOUR brains

Can some bookie give me odds of Blamer being out by Christmas?

Well, it is 2012. If the world does survive, m$ will forever mark it as the beginning of a very undignified end for them.