Posts by xperroni

Creator of Linux virtual assistant blames 'patent troll' for project's death

Do please enlighten me. What does AI actually mean?

Neuroscientist used brainhack. It's super effective! Oh, and disturbingly easy

Yeah, good luck on that

But the dangers of brain hacking mean that society needs to come up with a set of ethical guidelines to make sure the technology doesn't get out of control.

Yes, remember when society came up with a set of ethical guidelines for drugs, and as a result the pharma-sponsored opioid abuse epidemic stopped dead on its tracks? I bet it will be just like that with brain devices.

Google leaps on the platform formerly known as Firefox with $22m splurge for KaiOS

"... fastest-growing phone platform..."

Every time I hear something is the "fastest-growing" of its kind, I remember a friend back from undergraduate days commenting on his latest test results. "I managed to improve my grade 100%", he said: "from 1 to 2".

Numbers: if tortured enough, they'll confess anything you want to hear.

Fancy coughing up for a £2,000 'nanodegree' in flying car design?

Oh, Udacity

I've done a couple Udacity nanodegrees and I'm generally satisfied with the experience, but I have to agree they went a bit overboard with this one. From the curriculum they could just have called it "self-piloting drone nanodegree", but no – not eye-catching enough for the marketing people, I reckon.

SpaceX 'raises' an extra 100 million bucks to get His Muskiness to Mars

Re: Andrew Silver, this is article is low effort trolling.

I miss Lewis, shame he and the Reg had to part ways.

Peanuts, really

Remember when Microsoft bought Skype for $8 billion?

If a couple hundred million dollars is all SpaceX needs to send humans to Mars, they're doing it on a pretty tight budget.

Paris because I have no idea how they're going to deliver, either.

Emacs and Vim both release first new updates in years

So no CUA mode yet?

Well, maybe next time.

$329 for a MacBook? Well, really a 'HacBook' built on an old HP

Rough awakening in 3, 2, 1...

We're merely selling kits that users can then do whatever they want with afterwards. (...) It's optimized to run OS X, but you can install Linux or Windows on it and use it however you want - that's completely up to the user. If Apple contacts us with concerns we'll work together to solve them.

I love how he seems to think of Apple as a sensible, reasonable entity that would totally be deterred by a convincing argumentation.

Oh boy, new to the business world aren't we?

MacPorts project leaving Apple’s OS Forge

Re: Didn't know they were still around

Back in the noughties I struggled to get FOSS software running in my 2006 MacBook using Fink. Eventually I came to my senses and realized I might as well run Linux, as I had no particular need for Mac OS X.

Microsoft: Why we had to tie Azure Stack to boxen we picked for you

The other Microsoft

"Microsoft’s ability to restrict access to Windows among server and PC makers is what helped make Windows reliable, and thus successful, in the first place."

Isn't Microsoft the company that for most of its history sold boxed software you could just buy and install on whatever machine you owned, confident that drivers would either come bundled or be provided by hardware makers? You know, the one that eventually came to dominate the PC market riding a wave of bland OEM products?

Well, maybe you're talking about another Microsoft, apart from the one I know – and likely founded by a Steve Jobs wannabe, by the look of things.

SpaceX winning streak meets explosive end

"Of Course I Still Love You"

I for one approve of naming existing things after Culture ships, even if the sarcastic AI's may still be some ways off.

Freeze, lastholes: USB-C and Thunderbolt are the ultimate physical ports

Even a broken clock etc. etc.

I think they have a point, actually. USB is already fast and user-friendly enough for virtually all inter-device communication scenarios – portable storage, cameras, peripherals etc. It is also likely to remain so for the foreseeable future, file sizes and storage density having all but stagnated in the past decade. Personally I think USB-C is already overkill, addressing as it does a marginal usability issue. Intra-device connections (veg. video card slots) may still change some, but I can totally see user-facing ports remaining the same for quite a long time.

MtGox collapse victims now picked off by phishing vultures

It figures

If those people were gullible enough to pay real cash money (in fast PC's, video cards, ASIC boxes, etc.) to make their pretend dosh, then trust it to some bloke on the Internet for safekeeping, it's no surprise they'd fall for a mail scam.

Cisco axes unloved M-Series modular servers two years after launch

Re: Bingo!!

My thoughts exactly. Time was when only turd-polishing PR bods would resort to this sort of BS jargon, but now it seems even internal communications are written in it, lest management's real thoughts be known through a leaked memo. Which, as it turns out, was actually a sensible concern?

Marc Benioff apologizes as Salesforce NA14 instance goes TITSUP

Definition of "successful"

Salesforce's support team said the problems occurred after it performed a "successful site switch" on the instance from its primary data center after power supply problems caused nearly two hours of downtime in around 24 hours ago.

I'm not sure how these people define "successful", but it's hardly what I'd call 12h of downtime.

Ex-HP boss Carly Fiorina sacked one week into new job

Hmm... so if Cruz hadn't "merged" with her, he still might be in the running?

Highly unlikely, of course, but you have to agree her sense of timing is priceless.

SpaceX adds Mars haulage to its price list

For the low, low price of 0.09 Instagram...

...you could get some actual work done!

Peanuts, really.

China's Great Firewall inventor forced to use VPN live on stage to dodge his own creation

Payback, she is a bitch

Or as our Verity Stob would put it, "hahahahahahahahahahahahahah."

'No regrets' says chap who felled JavaScript's Jenga tower – as devs ask: Have we forgotten how to code?

Not lazy, just disorganized

Is it possible that we've become too lazy? Rather than write one-line functions, folks are pulling in outside code, and thus overly relying on dependencies.

I don't think that's the problem. People really shouldn't have to write their own code for base stuff like padding strings or checking object types. I think the real problem is, that code should be in a standard library, not scattered across a dozen projects that live and die at the will of individual developers.

Likewise, if projects in repositories such as NPM depend on one another, what's needed is a system to check such dependencies and prevent operations that would break them. Preventing automatic unpublishing of projects older than 24 hours is at best a makeshift solution, that fails to address the fundamental issue.

Perhaps JavaScript development should transition to a model closer to Linux distributions: a small core of basic components upon which all other projects build; a variety of online code repositories; and a degree of checks and balances regarding who curates those, as opposed to "just" contributing code.

Hacker 'Guccifer' extradited to US

Romania, like everywhere else, follows the...

...Illuminati Greys Cthulhu money.

Yahoo! is! up! for! sale! – so! how! much! will! you! bid!?

Architecturizing strategic alternatives for maximizing value

"As both shareholders and employees, all of us here at Yahoo want to return this iconic company to greatness. We can best achieve this by working with the committee to pursue various strategic alternatives while, in parallel, aggressively executing our strategic plan to strengthen our growth businesses and improve efficiency and profitability."

I've got an idea: bullshit-as-a-service! Just create a web interface to the bullshit generator they already use internally to generate these blurbs. Think how much other companies could save in PR fees!

Putin's internet guru says 'nyet' to Windows, 'da' to desktop Linux

Maybe this time it could work?

Of course we've heard of government bodies looking to ditch Windows time and again for the last 20-odd years, and it always flopped – mostly at planning stages, though China did seem to give it an honest try a few years back.

However, this time around the main impediment to adopting Linux is gone: with Office 365, it's possible to read and edit the odd MS Office file in Linux over the web, while new documents could be created using a FOSS tool like LibreOffice.

Unless of course it's all a feint to wriggle out some extra volume discounts from the Beast*... Again.

* Remember when El Reg would affectionately refer to MS as "the Beast"?

Hold the miniature presses: Playmobil movie is go

Trying too hard?

[T]he movie will be titled Playmobil: Robbers, Thieves & Rebels (...)

Am I the only one put off by the title's apparent attempt to convey an "edgy" and "racy" vibe?

Don't get me wrong, I love an animated mayhem as much as the next guy. But I can't help thinking that LEGO has over the years established for itself – through the games and TV commercials – an image of wacky but good-natured foolishness, which the film could then exploit for good effect; while Playmobil looks rather bland in comparison. Unless of course you include Reg-like renditions, but I doubt that's the style film makers are going for...

Could the Playmobil film fall prey to "tell don't show" syndrome – trying to convince spectators that they're "rebellious" just by saying so, instead of actually doing something risqué?

Layoffs! Lawsuits! Losses! ... Yahoo! is! in! an! L! of! a! mess!

Re: Buzzword Bingo

And not a moment too soon, either.

To be fair, they did try to out-Google Google, by peddling their API's to third-party developers and supporting developer tools like YUI. Too little, too late, I'm afraid.

With their mail and search services reduced to hollow shells (the later quite literally), no foothold in the developer community and no idea of how to monetize – or indeed keep – their membership, what's left for them, save to gradually whittle down and die? It would be better to cut the losses now and let out whatever bits and pieces still have some survival chance.

Docker bags unikernel gurus – now you can be just like Linus Torvalds

"now you can be just like Linus Torvalds"

You mean I can act like a conceited jerk with a bad case of Tourette's and swear indiscriminately at people?

Now that's a service I'd pay real cash money for!

El Reg revisits Battle of Agincourt on 600th anniversary

Ah, Agincourt...

...the British's most impressive victory in the war they ultimately lost.

Downvote all you want, it will still be true.

HP's Mad King Léo ignored Autonomy iceberg, emails claim

Truth somewhere in the middle?

The thing I notice about this foxtrot is that all explanations are suspiciously convenient for the people giving them. It's convenient for HP to frame Lynch as a fraudster and Leo as foolhardy, since both are gone; but then so it is for Lynch to claim it was all HP's fault for dropping the ball.

Playing devil's advocate can get very frustrating when you can't tell who's even the devil.

Why Nobody Should Ever Search The Ashley Madison Data

"Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry."

― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

LibreOffice 5.0 debuts, complete with fewer German code comments

(Some joke about code Nazis)

...couldn't really think of anything, but I bet that's what on everyone's minds right now.

BAD things happen to GOOD robots in America: hitchBot DECAPITATED

No country for Canuck robots

It was much too gentle for them 'muricans.

Lottery chief resigns as winning combo numbers appear on screen BEFORE being drawn

Killing the goose that lays the golden egg?

I've always thought there was no point in running a rigged lottery, since the prize is already a tiny fraction of the money paid by punters, and the loss of trust (and hence bets) should any such scheme ever be uncovered would far outstrip any possible gains.

I guess there I was again expecting humans to be sensible?

Re: He drove off in a DeLorean.

When you were alive I walked on two legs. Now I walk on one.

Come back, father Tito, and end this nightmare.

Pluto Pic: Is it a DOG? Is it a HEART? Or is it ... is it ... BIGFOOT?

Towards a unified theory of crackpottery

So Bigfoot is an astronaut god and Pluto is the starship it will ride to Earth to gather the chosen ones before the arrival of Hercolubus?

...somebody stop me.

THIS MEANS WAR between USA and Japan! GIANT ROBOT WAR

Re: A good distraction...

Then again, worrying about debt is for little people who don't own aircraft carriers.

I foresee disaster...

...or disappointment. Maybe both.

I get the impression Kuratas was designed not so much to be effective as a weapon but to look good, while MegaBot looks ugly but sturdy. I think this fight will be slow, awkward, and end with a lucky shot sending one of the pilots straight to the hospital / grave – kind of like UFC fights, really.

So why the hell do we bail banks out?

But uncle Tim, I want to hear them pigs squeak!

OK, I see why we'd shore up an institution that would create too much collateral damage if it just crumbled.

What I don't get is why the people who oversaw such disasters can get off without so much as a slap in the wrist. Hell, some of them get bonuses!

So long as the banks get our money, can we get their executives to return the favour by doing a little dancing number over at that traditional floor, Ye Olde Gallows? Thank you.

No, really, the $17,000 Apple Watch IS all about getting your leg over

Re: @Salamander

Indeed. Confirmed by the mandatory Despair.com reference

Never get tired of that one. "Once you've got that covered, you'l be fighting love off with a stick." Priceless.

Chappie: The AI tale that’s about heart, not intelligence

I'm so fsck'ing happy

Blomkamp isn’t interested in a movie about whether AI is possible, this is a film about the complexity of human nature and the likelihood that any other sentient race we create would be just as complicated and as mired in the moral shades of grey as we are.

THIS.

A thousand times this.

Oh God, I thought I'd never see the day movie makers would get this!

Boffin: Use my bionic breakthrough for good, and not super cyborgs

"First time" this week, maybe

Except for the cut'n'paste of flesh bits I've seen this general procedure – surgically recruit nerve terminals to drive a bionic prosthesis – reported time and again for the past 5 years at least. I cannot really be arsed to look up the earliest examples now, but here is one from late last year:

Amputee Makes History with APL's Modular Prosthetic Limb http://www.jhuapl.edu/newscenter/pressreleases/2014/141216.asp

A Colorado man made history at the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory (APL) this summer when he became the first bilateral shoulder-level amputee to wear and simultaneously control two of the Laboratory’s Modular Prosthetic Limbs. Most importantly, Les Baugh, who lost both arms in an electrical accident 40 years ago, was able to operate the system by simply thinking about moving his limbs, performing a variety of tasks during a short training period.

Wanna free web domain for a year? Hey, it's not rocket .science

Re: Root down

Well, sh!t.

'Net neutrality will turn the internet communist – and make Iran's day'

Consistency

"By creating an irreconcilable contradiction between America’s domestic and foreign policies, the cause of an open and freedom-enhancing global Internet will suffer"

Well now that's complete bollocks. Outside of its own borders the US routinely supports authoritarian regimes that oppress their own people. If they were to be consistent on domestic and foreign policies we'd see American streets taken by armored vehicles and policemen in military gear

Oh.

NO BRAIN needed to use Samsung's next flagship mobe

Mobile users trailing behind web surfers?

By the effectiveness of those "click here to claim the prize you totally did win for real, this is not a trap at all" ads, I'd say the later have been brain-free for many years now.

BBC bins pricey Windows Media, Audio Factory goes live

I thought I'd never see the day...

...when something from Microsoft would be evaluated on the basis of what the rest of the world is doing, and not the other way around.

Robot vacuum cleaner EATS WOMAN

In the land of fan death no less

So are Korean vacuum cleaner makers now going to offer products enhanced with "vacuum cleaner death" deterrents?

Forget robo-butlers – ROBO-MAIDS! New hotel staffed by slave-droids

Re: It's only a matter of time..

Herbivore's or grasseaters is a real thing. Though to be honest I'm not sure if the Gov't there has any success combating the trend. Afaik population decline is still a real issue there.

No they don't and yes it is. In fact, far from helping matters, the government is about to exacerbate the problem by getting young people into the military to fight and die in pointless Middle East wars.

I tell you, by the dawn of the 22th Japan will be granting citizenship to domestically-built robots as a way to offset population decline without having to resort to (shock, horror) immigration.

Turing notes found warming Bletchley Park's leaky ceilings

Re: I was told there would be SECRETS

When I read notes, I thought this must be an early version of Lotus Notes. Then I realised how stupid would that be (...).

True. However it's reasonable to suppose that during his lifetime Turing did occasionally record his thoughts on pieces of paper, no? Well, where I come from that's what we usually mean by "notes", and wouldn't it be nice if we found some previously undiscovered ones by Turing! Whereas throwaway scribblings of the kind one makes when working on a math problem could also be called "notes", I guess, but except perhaps as historic artifacts it's hard to see much value on those.

I was told there would be SECRETS

When I read "notes", I expected some sort of written record – unpublished research, undeveloped ideas, maybe even personal thoughts? But this is just memorabilia.

Son, I am disappoint.

Look out - it's a Goober! Google's über-Uber robo apptaxi ploy

Re: What it will do is kill off taxi drivers, truck drivers and car park attendants.

A bit like the Stephen King novel "Christine"?

...though I bet that option would only be available at a premium, as part of the "plausible deniability" package.

Re: I'd be more shocked

People will still own their own and in fact will own more as people who can't drive will be able to use one.

I'm not too sure about that. If Google offered a subscription service where I would have a self-driving car available to summon or send off whenever I wanted, and if the price was right, I'd sign up and never bother owning a horseless carriage ever again. Never again bother with parking, insurance, revisions, lining up at gas stations? Oh if I ever see the day!...

"The thot plickens"

I just can't decide if this was a typo or some sort of joke I'm just not in to.