* Posts by Guido Esperanto

146 posts • joined 9 Jul 2010


'Transformation' at Capita: Profits? Down. Revenue? Down. Order book? You guessed it

Guido Esperanto

1.85Bn revenue to return 31.2m

So 1% gross proft margin?

That 1.85Bn figure will be some creative accounting as Capita persistently recharges itself for services.

When I had the misfortune to work for them, we had to use one of Capitas arms to provide a 'substandard service' instead of an existing supplier who couldve been upto 50% cheaper (and actually good!)

It's the Mr Creosote of the business world

Backdoors won't weaken your encryption, wails FBI boss. And he's right. They won't – they'll fscking torpedo it

Guido Esperanto

Rather than argue

the toss with the likes of inept politicians who clearly don't see the flaw in their logic, why doesn't someone create a suitable example of encrypted software with a carefully crafted backdoor - the sort law enforcement are after and put it out there.

Clearly label is as such and challenge the world to work it out.

some may crack it and stay quiet in the hopes their silence buys acknowledgment that there is no risk, but I believe there are enough people who just for kudos will work the system to failure.

Then you have a certified example of proof.

UK's Openreach admits 50k premises on 'gigabit-capable' FTTP network can't get gigabit speeds

Guido Esperanto

Re: 330mbits??

aye, 40 mins from Knowlsey here and only viable company for me to get decent bb with.

The seven deadly sins of the 2010s: No, not pride, sloth, etc. The seven UI 'dark patterns' that trick you into buying stuff

Guido Esperanto

5 people are viewing this article since you started looking, click 《Buy Now》 to avoid disappointment.

College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

Guido Esperanto

Re: I too have had that

you need a stark *"oh sh**t" moment at some point in your life to make you realise you are not invincible, god of the opposite sex or god of computers..or perhaps all 3 at the same time.

It adds a dose of realism and consequence to your lack of attention.

Like upgrading an ms exchange environment using the disc at hand and only realising at the point the mailboxes don't all convert that somehow you have a standard version rather than enterprise.


Guido Esperanto

then there are..

those teflon coated mofucks, who seem to manage to screw up the simplest of tasks and then expect you to clean it up...

often your boss....

still revenge was a choice internet history served cold...

On the seventh anniversary of Steve Jobs' death, we give you 7 times he served humanity and acted as an example to others

Guido Esperanto

Great satire.

He definitely wasn't an asshole.

He most definitely wasnt a c**t of the highest order.

Yes I said c**t. Few people deserve the honour. Jobs was honoured

A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Guido Esperanto

Re: Imagine...

ooh....10 Base T, what I wouldn't have given for 10 base T when I were a lad.

We had to network computers with a pen n pencil...

writing the instructions from one computer over to the other....10 Base T, ppfft.

Home Office seeks Brexit tech boss – but doesn't splash the cash

Guido Esperanto

what the job ad doesn't state is 3000 of those people you'll be responsible for will also need to be outsourced to Crapita.

You'll be a 100k middleman

Scrap London cops' 'racially biased' gang database – campaigners

Guido Esperanto

its a tough one.

Amnesty would expect the dbase to roughly reflect the % of people involved in crime. By the stated statistics 27%.

Or reflective of the society level.

But reality doesnt always mirror statistics.

statistics puts male/female ratios at about 50/50.

so if I was to walk down a high street, or an airport or a school canteen and query 100 people on their sex, I wouldn't necessarily get 50/50..I might get 75/25.

But is my dbase sexist? because it has more of one gender than another? Well no...because its based on actuals not statistics.

If a large proportion of people linked to gangs are green - then it cant be racist if its fact.

However, it becomes racist if police only stop and check people who are green.

that should be the focus of investigation NOT the contents of a dbase in vs population stats.

The Register Guide on how to stay anonymous (part 1)

Guido Esperanto


"blocking advertisements altogether deprives the websites you love of the revenue they need to survive."

I see what you did there.

However I take the typical "If a tree falls and no one is around, does it make a sound?"

In translation. "If I'm not swayed by adverts at all, so will never click on them, whose harmed if I block the ads?"

I'm sure there are many sites that supplement or generate total income through PPC ad revenue. But they make nothing from me directly. Never have, never will.

And while it would pain me to lose a site to a financial defecit, I've got to be honest, I'm quite fickle and just google the subject matter until I find another suitable site.

Additionally, I have to second Big Yins comment about advertisers using underhand tactics to have their ads displayed, only makes me more determined to block them.

With that in mind ,I've found I only ever need to use noscript for all my blocking needs.

Man builds smartphone dock into arm

Guido Esperanto

incorrect apple response.

Apple did actually offer to help, but advised they only provided an all-in-one prothesis which cost 50% more than comparable types but the phone and dock were non-replaceable parts.

All Apple required was a fingerprint from each han....err.....

"We are unable to help"

Crims prefer old exploits: Microsoft

Guido Esperanto


meatbags are the weakest link...again....

anyone surprised?

'Angry Bird in the Sky' spotted by astronomers

Guido Esperanto

I see a goatse in that image...am I truly damned?

GM OnStar cars will upload all data unless owners opt out

Guido Esperanto

"What next? On-board breathalyzer/blood-test that must be taken before the car will start, and report you to the rozzers?"

Not so "what next" as "just upon us"


Guido Esperanto


If the capability is there, some numpty in a parliment will give cause for it to be used.

Facebook 'personal' news feed gets algorithm rejig

Guido Esperanto


nope not event the FB App is immune to this fubar.

A refresh on my droid shows me feeds considered "top stories"....

how exactly do you define a "top story"....does you algorithm enter my head?

....maybe not yet, but in the next upgrade.

Why was Duke Nukem Forever s**t?

Guido Esperanto


The single problem with Duke, and this came before the actual release, was that the legacy of Duke and its vapourware status created such a shadow, no actual release would ever be good enough.

Skype for iPhone makes stealing address books a snap

Guido Esperanto


this problem exclusive to iphone or are droids susceptible as well?

US Matrix-style Cyberwar firing range moves forward

Guido Esperanto

$10 mil extra?

I mean all they need is a couple of hundred computers, running various flavours of OS,

couple of ISP style switches, few routers, firewalls and an ass load of cable.

ok, I'm being a pedant, but if they are "mimicking the internet" their isnt MUCH more too it.

/mines the one with the blank government cheque book....all signed :D

Online gamers strike major blow in battle against AIDS

Guido Esperanto
Thumb Up


An article that doesnt paint gamers as being do'ers of evil, and mass murderers in hiding....about bloody time.

nice job on the foldit team to actually create a piece of "entertainment" that harnesses the collective power of gamers worlwide for the good of mankind.

Its a small step, but enough to start the gamer naysayers to re-consider their thoughts that its a "waste of time"

Gamers 1 - 1 Society

Kiwi rugby rats warned to keep eye on the hacker ball

Guido Esperanto

this is NZ we are talking about, so its kind of back to the future-esque

More transistors, Moore’s Law, less juice

Guido Esperanto

its coded for IE

so sloppy closing tag omissions are passable. :D

Guido Esperanto

Guido's Law


Over time

<item> will become faster/slower

<item> will become larger/smaller

<item> will cost more/less


Delete as appropriate. I'll take my royalties now please

Dead Island

Guido Esperanto

uttered from the Zombie on Dragons Den

I'm out.

levelling the bad guys with you is a pure chewbacca defense....it makes no sense.

you are not rewarded for spending time, you in fact punished for it.

bethesda lost me as a fan when they did this with oblivion, looks like Im gonna avoid this one too.

AMD snags Guinness World Record for clockiest chip

Guido Esperanto

give it a week.....

this GWR is probably gonna be like a game of pong now.

Hacker defaces Irish Catholic paper: 'Gotta love false hope'

Guido Esperanto

totally agree

Atheism is a state of mind, not a fanclub.

Two Larrys to go head-to-head in Google-Oracle case

Guido Esperanto

The most amusing results would be

1: Page.."After careful and thorough discussion and negotiation we could reach no common ground or reasoning, so instead we finally settled with Paper Scissors Stone"

2: Ellison "I've decided to take Page as my next bride and you can look forward to our wedding this Christmas"

3: Page: "After careful and thorough negotiation, Mr Ellison made a decent offer and so I've decided to sell up Google to him....see here is my signature in blood...sorry Sergey"

Glow-in-the-dark kittens to help produce cure for AIDS

Guido Esperanto

Local mice in the area rejoice and submit a new LOLCat

On a serious note, I await the wash of PETA organised hate against this company. An organisation that furthers the cause and reduces suffering of animals...by increasing suffering in humans... :D

Rubbing an iPhone on your face won't cure acne - FTC

Guido Esperanto

As Scott Adams (Dilbert Creator) once said

"never understimate the stupidity of the general public"

Guido Esperanto

A fool and their money....

Although I'd gladly pay to watch some fool explain why they have a smartphone taped to their face.......

ChaCha promises answers-by-SMS for free, sort of

Guido Esperanto


African or European swallow?

Sweden rolls out invisible infrared tank

Guido Esperanto

comedy 1 - 0 pedantry

It would appear 21 people min got the reference, and 21 people either couldnt be arsed with the pedantry or actually thought the reference was still funny.

Wheres Big Billy Goat Gruff when you need him?

Guido Esperanto

the good bad and the title

"Boris wouldn't see it coming"

not if it was imaged to look like a big red C on the floor....

maybe just let it fire when his heat signature is in range :D

IBM builds biggest-ever disk for secret customer

Guido Esperanto


GCHQ, FBI, CIA, MI5/6, Europol

All nicely packaged in a fully reported access db :D....with service provision from the likes of EDS.

Tablet wars set for Apple vs Amazon head-to-head

Guido Esperanto



I make technology product that people will like


I market said product in way that appeals to all ages


I put a decent price tag on item to bring in a nice profit margin


I develop my product lines in keeping with changes in consumer needs and requirements


I will be > all tech companies in the world.


I will fail like the rest.

HP Pre 3 punters peeved as expected price cut is a no show

Guido Esperanto

re: Epic Fail

its a dangerous gambit on HP's behalf.

The price cuts for the touchpad to induce demand, showed that at the original price of £300-400 no-one thought they were worth the money.

Rumour of <£100 and people figures its WELL worth the money, so as you mentioned reserve at full price (even pay at full price)...to ensure bargain is obtained.

However, HAD HP not followed through with its price cut, I'd state my house on 95% of those webos devices being returned the following day.

I know thats what we planned to do with ours!!!.

If they try the same strategy with the palms and not follow through with a price cut, they will suddently be left with an ass load of stock they cannot shift, and more so, people will want MORE of a guaranteed bargain before shelling out the cash for them a second time.

Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen

Guido Esperanto


I used to work for a business whose business was Bulls 'business' and I can certainly attest to its value. Some serious money to be made in getting a prize bull to flunk his junk into a flask...

Facebook ditches Places - but embiggens location tracking

Guido Esperanto

i like to singa about the moona and the juna and the springa...

distinct smell of fullox if you ask me.

Britain's iconic red phonebox turns 75

Guido Esperanto
Thumb Up

tatle, totle, tutle, tetle, tytle

To the rank smelling, broken glass wreckage of a local phonebox....

I salute you.

thems were the days, cramming 3 people into a box to prank call people....if you were really lucky two of the mates would be gurls.

If you were unlucky, some [email protected] would hold the door shut....

Jesus Phone gives Sprint redemption 'this October'

Guido Esperanto

bloody titles....grrr

sarcastic response to the caption against the graph....

took me a while too

Misco reaps harvest of rage in Twitter Touchpad debacle

Guido Esperanto


Shi$$y job just got Shi$$ier.

Guido Esperanto


this problem wasnt exclusive to Misco.

We tried many companies on Monday, who had "plenty of stock".....only on Tuesday morning when new prices were announced, that miraculously all their stock had gone.

A sales person at Insight stated "the company are likely to do a price drop around 1pm so staff can take advantage of the offer during their lunch break".

I'd wager that company staff obtained the majority. Still some shi$$y jobs need to have some perks.

Ridley Scott confirmed for Blade Runner pre/sequel

Guido Esperanto


Just leave the franchises alone...FFS.

Bladerunner is a great movie and was made good by, the script, the actors and the technology available at the time, which while quirky, was believable.

These days the CG tech gives films an almost unrealistic sheen.

Not to mention the fact that Hollywood itself appears to be running out of fresh ideas. Okay I got another one.

Lets make Pulp Fiction 2. The people who loved it, are gonna come flocking thus earning us big box office $$$, but who gives a sheet if the films a turkey, which will almost spoil the enjoyment of the original.

There are some great books and minds out there that can provide original entertainment without having to re-visit something.

Sometimes you just gotta know when to leave something alone. Not doing so can leave a bitter taste in the mouth.

Average sozzled Brit sinks 5,800 pints during life

Guido Esperanto

mistake indeed

you missed the cornicopia of other alcoholic refreshments in addition to the 58,000 pints.

DARPA shells out $21m for IBM cat brain chip

Guido Esperanto

I'm missing a title, can anyone see it, it contains alphanumerical characters about <----> long

......And given you are taking 150K cores to solve this "problem" you better hope you end up with a pretty bloody amazing solution. 150K cores to plot an optimal trajectory to that mouse seems like overkill to me .....

If you recall a simple calculator once filled a large laboratory.....

Typically you throw whatever you can at a theory to prove it/get it to work, then when you have proof/working model, it gets refined.

I mean look at the LHC, in 100 years perhaps you may have a higgs-boson powered application on the latest iphone :D

RIM BlackBerry Bold 9900

Guido Esperanto


I think you're bang on the money with BB's appworld being its achilles heel.

Apps are now touted a central point to expanding the use of your phone. Sure you may not want them, but if you do, there are thousands of free and paid for apps - on the droid or iphone markets.

Blackberry treats its appworld like a freakshow attraction. You can have a look if you want, but you'll be just fine if you ignore it.

That was all fine and dandy when RIM was seen as an business tool. But they are not seen that way anymore, and people are not content with just a secure reliable phone. They want the razzle dazzle of turning their phone into a torch, or install a new browser, or IM client or whatever takes the fancy.

id Software Wolfenstein 3D

Guido Esperanto

surely some mistake

you mention gaming and macs in the same sentence.

Facebook wannabe rioters cop large helpings of porridge

Guido Esperanto


I'm mixed about this.

First and foremost, they got hauled in front of the beak and given a criminal record. Job well done.

I'm not so sure about the sentence length though and my comparison is this.

Those involved in the rioting/looting etc, have been hauled in front of magistrates and given sentences of between 4 & 6 months. (http://www.gmp.police.uk/disorderconvictions)

These guys, who tried to incite violence gets 4 years. I'm mixed because I cannot see what was worse, trying and failing to incite violence or actual being involved in the violence.

If they have incited and succeeded, then 4 year porridge would be minimum sentence in my view.

Any other views?

PETA to launch .xxx smut site 'to help animals'

Guido Esperanto


thats almost like the infamous Buttered Cat Array.

Piece of toast buttered, attached to the back of a cat. Drop said Cat&Toast off ledge somewhere and watch in awe as subject rotates in midair.



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