Posts by Jedit

Russian 'Minecraft bomb plot' teen jailed for five years

"This could be the end of the world.......of Warcraft."

Look, just because the Maw is ruled by a merciless bald tyrant who goes around with his shirt off and who plans to conquer the world doesn't mean you can compare it to Russia.

Joint European Torus more than doubles fusion record with 59 megajoules

"Despite the paroxysms of Brexit gripping the UK..."

"... JET has continued to demonstrate the ability of scientists to work together even if lawmakers won't."

Are we sure about that? The director general is a Bigot.

UK science stuck in 'holding pattern' on EU funding by Brexit, says minister

"There are many problems with Ivermectin. That it's also given to horses is not one."

Ivermectin is genuinely used as a human medication, and although I can't attest to the full legitimacy of the sources, I have even heard that reputable studies have said it can provide some small benefit in treatment of COVID. However, the effect isn't certain enough or strong enough to justify prescribing it for post-infection treatment when a vaccine exists that can prevent the majority of infections before they start.

This is specifically why I mentioned horse dewormer rather than Ivermectin itself. While the anti-vaxxers can't get the human pills they want from their doctors, animal medications are much less tightly regulated. That's why they're dosing themselves with enough of the stuff to literally choke a horse.

"Where does it say that's happening?"

Every time someone tells our friend here that his opinions are not equal to everyone else's facts. "Why do only scientists get to do research?" is the clarion call of every anti-vax dickhead who ever swallowed horse dewormer.

Nothing to scoff at: Crisps and nuts biz KP Snacks smacked in ransomware hack attack

Re: "fuck clinics in the USA this week" said one criminal

Fuck clinics in the USA

Fuck clinics in the USA

Whoooooa-ohhh (Fuck clinics!)

Mine's the one with the heart of glass...

50 lines of Bash to bring a Wordle fan out of their shell

Re: Prior art?

Also the main character is Bob Oliver Francis Howard, and his junior assistant is Peter Frederick Young.

Apparently, however, Simon Travaglia is not Charles Stross despite his name translating as "Witness to Troubles". If it is true that this is not a pseudonymous false identity, it's definitely one of the strongest cases of nominative determinism that I've ever seen.

"You do know porn is free on the internet these days, right?"

Thanks, I'll make that my first guess next time.

Welsh home improvement biz fined £200,000 over campaign of 675,478 nuisance calls

I'm fairly sure I've seen these scum on Facebook, too

Which is worse, when you think about it. A cold call is a pain but as Aristotle's horse said above, you can just say "fuck off" and hang up. Social media advertising is like you being in the pub looking for your friends when some spiv comes up and asks if you want to buy his tat. You tell him to fuck off, but he keeps pushing. You go to the bar staff and ask them to remove him from the premises. They say no, and in fact offer to lend the spiv a megaphone because he's paid them for a pitch. The only way you can get away from him is by leaving the pub, and then you miss meeting your friends.

Indonesia bars financial institutions from offering crypto services

"I do wish that people would stop using the word "crypto" as shorthand for cryptocurrency."

Using "crypto" for "cryptocurrency" and "encryption" for actual data encryption is becoming a standard shorthand, I think.

Burning plasma signals step forward in race for nuclear fusion as researchers get bigger capsule for their 192-laser experiment

"I exit stage left"

...and at the same time exit stage right, stage front, stage top...

Crypto.com acknowledges 'unauthorized activity' on servers, maintains no funds have been lost

Apply logic

"4600 ETH have disappeared" and "No funds were lost" are not mutually exclusive propositions, you know.

Russia starts playing by the rules: FSB busts 14 REvil ransomware suspects

"I’ll get mine."

I thought El Reg was a car licence plate until I discovered Smirnoff!

EthereumMax, a Kardashian and Floyd Mayweather Jr sued over alleged 'pump and dump' cryptocurrency scam

Re: "I cannot 'appreciate' or 'understand' the value of crypto"

Not only have you been beaten to the punch on this idea, reality has actually gone in the opposite direction. Before someone came up with the idea of monetisation, the processor cycles now being used on crypto mining were used for projects like SETI@Home and Folding@Home. The latter at least is still around, and is being currently used for COVID research. Thus my original remark that crypto has negative value.

"I cannot 'appreciate' or 'understand' the value of crypto"

It's nothing to do with you getting old. Crypto simply has no value. In fact it has negative value, because the resources used to create it could be used instead to create something that does have value. Each crypto coin is literally just a certificate saying that the creator set their money on fire, and the people who buy crypto are paying to say that they take responsibility for it.

Another day, another ERP project behind schedule: This time it's Norfolk County Council and an Oracle system

I'm sure that Norfolk only exists so that El Reg can make jokes about them having Norfolking clue.

To err is human. To really screw things up requires a wayward screwdriver

"I had a friend..."

Come on, we can be honest with each other here. This is more "I ... had a friend", isn't it?

(I already confessed my own most heinous cock-up on The Reg, but it's been a few years so: once, I mistook the 110/230V switch on a PSU for the on-off switch. That's a noise I don't want to be within ten feet of again.)

It takes more clicks to reject their cookies than accept them, so France fines Facebook and Google over €200m

It's not enough

When countries start issuing the multi-billion fines that Facebook deserve for their advertising practices, then we'll talk. There is no rule that they won't break, no invasion of privacy they won't make, if someone has paid them to force an advert on you. They'll show you adverts for things that are forbidden by their own rules - and in some cases, international law - from companies that you have blocked. They'll even cancel your decision to block a company, literally unflagging a setting and acting like you never set it.

Remember Norton 360's bundled cryptominer? Irritated folk realise Ethereum crafter is tricky to delete

"removing Norton in any part or form was 'tricky' at the best of times"

To be fair, making it hard to remove antivirus software isn't a bad idea. If it was easy, virus writers might be able to disable it as part of the payload.

"offering Ethereum mining as part of its antivirus suite"

Excuse me, but I think you'll find that Norton aren't offering it. They're giving it to you whether you ask for it or not.

A proposal to beat below-the-belt selfies: Crowdsourced machine learning using victims' image stashes

"She rolled her eyes at my Latin"

I'd heard about women and their Latin lovers, but for some reason I thought it was a different context.

... much like the OP, mine's the only thing I'll be picking up in the foreseeable future.

Cryptocurrency 'rug pulls' cheated investors out of $8bn in 2021 – report

"Here's another angle."

That doesn't make Bitcoin a success. It just means that you're one of the scammers instead of one of the scammed.

Midwest tornado destroys Amazon warehouse, killing six after worker 'told not to leave'

"Was Amazon in the process of shutting down in the face of the storm?"

Reports are that not only were Amazon not shutting down in the face of the storm, one of the dead workers had texted his partner not long before the storm hit to say that management had refused employee requests to leave. If that is true, then there's people who need to spend the rest of their lives in prison for this.

Chinese paper runs interview with Alibaba staffer who claims she was fired after exec rape claim

"I'm shocked that this interview was carried by a State-Owned National Newspaper"

You shouldn't be. Alibaba's founder has recently been in prison and the Party are moving in to break up the company. This story is going to be part of their justification for doing so.

Gas giant 11 times the mass of Jupiter discovered in b Centauri binary system

"it was only a regular sized gas giant until it got the COVID vaccine"

What did you expect? We're vaccinating for Delta now, and this gas giant is the Beta variant.

OK, boomer? Gen-X-ers, elder millennials most likely to name their cars, says DVLA

She didn't do it, but...

My mother did formerly name her cars, and once said that if she ever got another Fiat she'd call it Lux.

(Halo for appropriateness - if you don't know already, "fiat lux" is Latin for "Let there be light".)

German court rules cookie preference service that shared IP addresses with US firm should be halted

"If you are an advertiser you are paying for the site .That gives a very legitimate interest."

Two points:

1) If I have refused you consent to use my data, you cannot possibly have a legitimate interest because any legitimacy of your usage is entirely dependent on my consent.

2) If you're asking for me to make an exception to my refusal of consent if your interest is legitimate, that is a de facto admission that your original request for my data was made because you want it for illegitimate purposes.

Let's be blunt here, Ian - at the core what you're saying is that advertisers have a right to our data because they have already bought it from a third party that doesn't own or control it.

Renting IT hardware on a subscription basis is bad for customers

Re: Confused

The motions in Reg Debates aren't properly formally phrased. When I debated at school and university, motions always began "This House [believes/would]" - the House being the body of people debating the issue. Thus, when you voted you were always indicating support or opposal to the content of the motion.

With that in mind, read the motion here as:

This House believes renting IT hardware on a subscription basis is bad for customers.

See how much clearer that is? If you vote For, then you are stating agreement with the belief of the House: that renting is bad. If you vote Against, then you are stating disagreement with that belief.

It would be good if the Reg would pick up this formatting going forward. It's a minimal change, adding only three short words to the motion, but it would really help out.

GPU makers increasingly disengage from crypto miners

"more troublesome than real money without any real advantage"

For a great many if not all people who transact in cryptocurrency, the "crypto" is more important than the "currency". They wouldn't care if governments taxed it if that could be done without said government being able to trace it.

Say what you see: Four-letter fun on a late-night support call

"PEBKAC"

Coming back to this late, but I believe the preferred acronym for that these days is PICNIC - Problem In Chair, Not In [Computer/Code].

"I'm sure all y'all have your favorites"

Everyone seems to have forgotten the classics:

TLA: Three Letter Acronym

ETLA: Extended Three Letter Acronym

FETLA: Further Extended Three Letter Acronym

Remember SoftRAM 95? Compression app claimed to double memory in Windows but actually did nothing at all

"If said application is a Roomba, it's not gonna be happy"

But in this analogy, wouldn't a Roomba be a registry cleaner?

Cisco requires COVID-19 shots for all US staff – even remote workers

"I'm sure the Brits said similar 245 years ago."

We referred to the colonists as "rebellious children", but that was before the War of Independence. It's only when they grew up and began revolting over something serious like money that we started treating them like adults.

Hey, Walkers. What's the difference between crisps and chips? Answer: You can't get either of them

"almost half the UK population voted against it"

If almost half of the UK population really had worked out the consequences of Brexit before it happened, we'd still be in the EU. The vote was 52-48 among people who expressed a preference; as a percentage of the electorate it was roughly 37-35 with 28% not voting. We're seeing more of those 28% come off the fence on the side of Rejoin now the effects of Brexit are being seen and felt, but they were happy either way until it actually did affect them - by which time it was too late.

"You should be sectioned?

Failure to like Monster Munch is an anti-proletarian sentiment, COMRADE.

Sovereignty? We've heard of it. UK government gives contract to store MI5, MI6 and GCHQ's data to AWS

"did the JB writers know this plan was in the works?"

Yes, they downloaded the information from the cloud.

Behold the Megatron: Microsoft and Nvidia build massive language processor

"I suggest porn"

What does it suggest if I'm buying dildos and reading pages about porn?

Meatballs, Abba, and bork: 3 things Sweden is famous for

This explains a lot

I only ever flew once with SAS, and my flight was delayed by four hours. My return flight was cancelled completely and they had to transfer me to another airline, which is why I only flew *once* with SAS.

Want to support Firefox? Great, you'll have no problem with personalised, sponsored search suggestions then

"Anything "sponsored" is 99.999% likely to be something I have absolutely zero interest in."

This is not quite true. I may indeed be interested in buying something "sponsored". It's just that after seeing your "sponsored" advert, I have absolutely zero interest in buying it from *you*. This applies even if I had previously intended to buy it from you.

This post is sponsored by beer, but please decide for yourself if you want to buy it.

Opt-out is the right approach for sharing your medical records with researchers

"Assumed consent is informed consent"

What the hell even is "assumed consent"? It sounds like something a rapist would use as an excuse after putting a roofie in a woman's drink. "Well, she came home with me, so I assumed she consented to sex."

This is right up there with the "Legitimate Interest" buttons on opt-outs. If you ask for an exception to my refusal for legitimate interests, then you admit your regular interests are not legitimate. If you have to assume my consent, that is because *I have not given my consent*.

Facebook far too consumed by greed to make itself less harmful to society, whistleblower tells Congress

"Almost all the adverts I see are spam"

Literally 100% of the adverts I see are spam, because I don't want to see any of them. In many cases I continue to see ads that I have previously hidden from businesses that I have blocked and reported. A lot of them are for things Facebook aren't supposed to be advertising, like fake medicines and gambling sites.

If you look at why these adverts are sent, it's always "$COMPANY seeks to reach people aged 18 or over". Which translates to "$COMPANY paid Facebook to do it". They're not just complicit in the abuse; they're active participants profiting from it.

User to chatbot: Help! My kid has COVID! Chatbot to user: Always wear a condom

"practicing safe sex is the way to help a child with COVID"

To be fair here, if the caller had always worn a condom his son wouldn't have COVID now.

Facebook rendered spineless by buggy audit code that missed catastrophic network config error

Re: locked out by their own system

It may be even better than that. From what I have heard - unverified, so please don't take this as gospel - the Facebook engineers were unable to access the office because the security card system verifies your identity using your Facebook credentials.

If this is true, and if only for the associated amusement value I dearly hope that it is, then Facebook have managed to create the ultimate rendition of the PC support network that moves its phones to VOIP: a system where it becomes impossible for an engineer to enter the data centre if there is any need for them to do so.

Take a look, and you'll see... Windows XP? Bit of Dairy Milk, Fruit and Bork at Cadbury World

Still better than Yorkies. Real men can b0rk those with one hand, I'm told.

Chocgate: The fallout. Partially taxpayer-funded £6k+ staff luxury treats land ICO in lukewarm water

"An independent internal investigation, commissioned by the ICO"

They have to tick all the boxes. In this case, the selection boxes.

Or, as the "independent" investigation was internal, should that be self-selection boxes?

(Paris, because Ms Hilton knows all about hotels and probably quite a bit about chocolate.)

Macmillan best-biscuit list unexpectedly promotes breakfast cereal to treat status

"Ginger Nut is in fact effectively Schrodingers biscuit"

They're more of a paradox. On the one hand, a good ginger nut is a very tasty biscuit. On the other, everyone knows that gingers have no friends. Thus, to quote noted biscuitologist Charles Dickens:

"It was the best of snacks, it was the worst of snacks..."

It's the end of the world as we know it, and we should feel fine

We shouldn't feel fine

And the reasons why are spelled out in the article. Apple are producing new phones that do nothing the existing phones can't. As the executive says in Tron Legacy when Alan Bradley asks what the differences are between the new version of ENCOM's OS and the old one: "We added 1 to the number". And they don't last, by design so you have to buy the new phone. 80s computers may be obsolete, but many of them still work. How many iPhone 13s will still work in 20, 30 years, even if it's just as an iPod because the phone functionality has moved on (for which Apple can't be blamed)? We already know: the answer is "none", because due to planned obsolescence none of them are likely to work in ten years. And it all uses resources that can't be replaced.

We're spinning our wheels in pursuit of maintaining an unsustainable status quo because the status quo makes money. No, I can't feel fine about that.

Fortnite banana can appear in court naked says judge in Epic vs Apple legal footnote

"isn't a banana with peel a dressed banana?"

A banana in a tuxedo is already an overdressed banana. We don't need the clarification.

A developer built an AI chatbot using GPT-3 that helped a man speak again to his late fiancée. OpenAI shut it down

"It didn't end well..."

Of course not, it's science.

I have to say, though, that I got more of a vibe of an SCP story from this one..

Oh the humanity: McDonald's out of milkshakes across Great Britain

"Why would KFC need chickens?"

The infinitely long mutant centipede still has chicken origins and so it counts as a chicken.

Playdate handheld game system torn to pieces, crank and all

"what exactly is an analogue crank and what does it do?"

It's someone who thinks TV was much better when we only had four channels, and mostly they write letters of complaint to community newspapers.