* Posts by Jedit

1409 posts • joined 3 Jul 2010

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Blizzard president, HR chief exit games giant in wake of sexual harassment uproar

Jedit
Flame

"It all changed when Personnel became HR."

I've said this before, but it's worth repeating: calling the department "Personnel" says that you're a person with the respect and value that implies. Calling it "Human Resources" says that you're a resource, and resources are to be expended as required.

Iranian state-backed hackers posed as flirty Scouser called Marcy to target workers in defence and aerospace

Jedit
Coat

Re: Retaliation

This is cyber warfare, when you get right down to it it's all binary.

(That was a base remark, sorry. Mine's the one with 100 pockets.)

Scam-baiting YouTube channel Tech Support Scams taken offline by tech support scam

Jedit

"I took a chance and called him "W*nker" Smith several times"

To be fair, if he was a real copper he still probably wouldn't have noticed.

Hubble in another first: Water vapor spotted in atmosphere of Jupiter’s Ganymede

Jedit
Trollface

Re: The Dept. of Redundancy department would like a word...

In fact, the Department of Redundancy Department would like several words.

Florida Man sues Facebook, Twitter, YouTube for account ban

Jedit
Stop

"No no no. He's an "Aberdeenshire business owner""

Don't try to palm him off on us. Most people here don't want him either.

G7 nations aim for global 15 per cent tax on big tech and bin digital services taxes

Jedit
Stop

"consider thinking about countermeasures..."

Why would corporations need countermeasures? There's already a built-in loophole centring on margins that will allow Amazon to go completely untaxed.

UK's competition watchdog gives £31bn Virgin Media and O2 merger the seal of approval

Jedit
Coat

"5G is going to be The Solution Of All Evils isn't it?"

Well, I'm told it's the solution to COVID-19!

(Mine's the one with two needles in the arm...)

Jedit
Thumb Up

Re: MVNOs

Thanks for the answer. I knew about Tesco Mobile and the like, just not what they were called.

Jedit
WTF?

MVNOs

What are MVNOs? The article doesn't say.

Perhaps it is Mergin' Vidia Network (O2)?

Your private data has been nabbed: Please update your life as soon as possible while we deflect responsibility

Jedit

"No shit, Sherlock"

Then there wouldn't be a case to solve, Watson.

Atheists appeal to higher power for intercession over alleged sins against privacy

Jedit
Angel

Re: I wonder what the split was over.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it absurd that the atheists have had a schism.

John Cleese ‘has a bridge to sell you’, suggests $69,346,250.50 price to top Beeple's virtual art record

Jedit

"...but what has he done for you lately?"

Well, the Brooklyn Bridge isn't *quite* an aqueduct...

What happens when cancel culture meets Adolf Hitler pareidolia? Amazon decides it needs a new app icon

Jedit
Joke

But Amazon really are Hitler, aren't they?

I mean, they have to be. I tried to order a snooker table from Amazon, but they only had one ball.

Images of women coerced by adult companies poison dataset popularised by deepfake smut creators

Jedit
Joke

"The Russian government is apparently not happy because of the lack of rear entry."

Is that their main concern with Telegram, or with Czech Casting?

Rambo: First Bork. Turns out John Rambo is no match for a bad CMOS checksum

Jedit
Thumb Up

"Got the title song from the C64 game in my head right now"

Check out Matt Gray's update on the Reformation albums - it's even better.

I've never checked it out, but I'm told the arrhythmic bit at the start is the names of the coder and the musician in Morse code.

I won't be ignored: Google to banish caller roulette with Verified Calls

Jedit
Thumb Down

"if a user sees the business's name then they are more likely to actually take the call"

I don't know what Google are hoping to achieve here. I don't just block calls because they don't come from someone in my phonebook. I also block calls if they come from a business that has no good reason to be calling me. Confirming that you are someone I don't want to speak to is not going to stop me telling them to fuck off.

Um, almost the entire Scots Wikipedia was written by someone with no idea of the language – 10,000s of articles

Jedit
Headmaster

"Ach ay tha noo"

It's "och aye the noo", at least spell it right.

And while it may be a cliché, I live in Scotland and will swear upon a stack of technical manuals that I have heard a genuine Scottish person say it. Although to be fair, I suspect they may have been making friends with the whisky bottle shortly before.

'Get out of my office, you're being a pest!' Yes, son. Toymaker releases work-from-home-themed play sets

Jedit
Thumb Up

"I thought it was so the kids could set themselves up as Priti Patel"

The "My First Ministerial Portfolio" set will be coming soon. It will include an empty suitcase (for storing your empty suits), one way air tickets to a variety of destinations in Africa and the Caribbean, and large bundles of £50 notes to give to your friends and family.

Pass that Brit guy with the right-hand drive: UK looking into legalising automated lane-keeping systems by 2021

Jedit

"This used to be the preserve of BMW 3 Series drivers"

One explanation I have heard for this is that Audis have taken over from BMWs as the most popular company cars in the mid-level executive bracket. So you always had a whole bunch of people who want to look more flash than they are, in brand new cars that can do 100mph, and that they're not liable for repairs on. Now they just come from a different manufacturer.

Dido 'Queen of Carnage' Harding to lead UK's Institute for Health Protection because Test and Trace went so well

Jedit
Flame

"Are you suggesting the Tories gambled with our lives for ideological reasons "

No, for two reasons. First, they aren't gambling; they know people are going to die because of their actions. And second, it's not for ideology, not any more. They're just out to get rich. There is not one of them who, if told that they could have a million pounds or save a million lives, would not choose the money.

Splunk sales ace wins sex discrimination case after new boss handed her key accounts to blokes deemed 'flight risks'

Jedit
Headmaster

"Erm... persondatory dismissal"

Is that a pun? Have no fear, brave Reg readers - the Humourless Etymology Pedant is here!

The "man" in "mandate" isn't a gender reference; it comes from the Latin "manus", meaning "hand". The other half is from "dare", "to put". So "mandated" means "put into your hands" - something you are given, but not given a choice about accepting.

Irony, thy name is SANS: 28k records nicked from infosec training org after staffer's email account phished

Jedit
Coat

"Cybersecurity training organisation the SANS Institute"

I hope everyone has learned a valuable lesson here: never use comic SANS in a business context.

Amazon's coronavirus symptoms: Swelling of the profit, large sales deposits, insatiable demand

Jedit
Mushroom

"I couldn’t be more proud of and grateful to our employees around the globe"

Said Jeff Bezos, before treating them like convicted criminals.

Butterfingers who don't bother with phone cases, rejoice: New Gorilla Glass 'Victus' tipped to survive 6ft drops

Jedit
Boffin

"1plus used to have textured backs and I wish it had become more commonplace."

I'm still to see a better designed phone than the Galaxy Note 4. About the only thing they could have done to change the basic design was removing the physical Home button. But when you're talking about expensive devices, iterative refinement doesn't fly because nobody gets excited about last year's device with slightly better components. Samsung et al *need* to change something big every time so that the product looks new, different and worth buying instead of its now-discounted predecessor.

Google search trends used to calculate floating prophylactic prices

Jedit
Coat

Is that what they mean by ...

… pork futures?

(Mine's the one with something for the weekend in the pocket.)

Oh what a cute little animation... OH MY GOD. (Not acceptable, even in the '80s)

Jedit
Childcatcher

"the line sounded like 'the air polution is fucking up my eyes' "

When I saw the Kinks perform Apeman live, Ray definitely sang "fucking". The live version of Come Dancing also often ended on an explicit note.

Shopped recently in a small online store? Check this list to see if it was one of 570 websites infected with card-skimming Magecart

Jedit
IT Angle

Re: Upscalestripper was hacked!!

For obvious reasons I haven't actually visited the site, but could it be selling high quality paint strippers?

Fasten your seat belts: Brave Reg hack spends a week eating airline food grounded by coronavirus crash

Jedit
Joke

Would I eat airline curry?

Maybe. Just maybe. If the plane crashed and I was stranded with no hope of rescue for weeks, then I might allow it to pass my lips. After I'd eaten the other passengers first, of course.

(With thanks to NTNOCN.)

Beer rating app reveals homes and identities of spies and military bods, warns Bellingcat

Jedit
Pint

"Loose lips sink ships"

Or in this case, sink pints.

This happens so often that I wonder if no intelligence agency in the world actually trains its operators in basic social media security.

If you're appy and you know it: The Huawei P40 Pro conclusively proves that top-notch specs aren't everything

Jedit
Joke

"Can we get a review from someone who doesn't like sending all their data to Google?"

Well, I tried a Huawei phone but returned it because the reception was poor and the mobile data kept dropping out. The Chinese government couldn't understand - they said they received everything perfectly.

Joking aside: if you want a phone that doesn't send your data to someone, then don't buy a smartphone. Because your data *is* going to someone; your choice is who.

Senator demands deep probe into spyware-for-cops after NSO Group touts hacking toolkit to American plod

Jedit
Coat

Is that what they call...

… Wydening the scope of the investigation?

(I know, I know, I'm sorry...)

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you

Jedit
Angel

"How about "Microshaft""

Who's the Redmond software firm that's less a virus than a germ?

(Microshaft!)

Damn right.

Now we know what the P really stands for in PwC: X-rated ads plastered over derelict corner of accountants' website

Jedit
Coat

"somebody certainly can't spell!"

Indeed. It's supposed to be "cumming".

(Mine's the dirty rainmac.)

Smartphone shipments plummet in Q1 as users, er, lock down their spending

Jedit

"... selling 17 per cent fewer units than in Q1 2020"

Hang on - I thought the article is discussing sales figures in Q1 2020? If so, shouldn't this be "... than in Q1 2019"?

You can get a mechanical keyboard for £45. But should you? We pulled an Aukey KM-G6 out of the bargain bin

Jedit
Coffee/keyboard

"are these mechanical keyboards any good for actual work"

Absolutely. Nothing will make your typing more precise, but a mechanical keyboard will make your typing more comfortable. The response from the keys is entirely different, although it's hard to quantify exactly how - you really need to try one. I'm currently working from home with my company laptop hooked up to my home setup, which includes a Mionix mechanical keyboard, and compared to my keyboard in the office it's night and day.

Star's rosette orbit around our supermassive black hole proves Einstein's Theory of General Relativity correct

Jedit
Angel

Re: Is it just me?

I don't understand the use of the marker either. It's not a star, it's a black hole.

We lost another good one: Mathematician John Conway loses Game of Life, taken by coronavirus at 82

Jedit
Pint

Definitely playing the misere variant

With this, sadly, all three authors of Winning Ways For Your Mathematical Plays have passed away in the last year: Richard Guy last month (aged 103 and working to the end, so you can't really grouse) and Elwyn Berlekamp in April 2019.

Official: Office 365 Personal, Home axed next month... and replaced by Microsoft 365 cloud subscriptions

Jedit

"either the picture wasn't clear or..."

You don't think Cameron is a dickhead?

Astroboffin gets magnets stuck up his schnozz trying and failing to invent anti-face-touching coronavirus gizmo

Jedit
Joke

"this is what 'magnetic personality' on those dating sites really means"

Please - I have amazing sexual magnetism. That's why I'm stuck to the sexual fridge.

Asterix co-creator Albert Uderzo dies aged 92

Jedit

"I'm not aware of a Rue Uderzo though..."

That's because it's extremely unusual for a street to be named after a living person. I'm sure there will be a Rue Uderzo soon.

BOFH: Gosh, IPv5? Why didn't I think of that? Say, how do you like the new windows in here? Take a look. Closer...

Jedit
IT Angle

"Extra internets for knowing what a EDM is"

Electronic Dance Music?

(I don't know, but I have the sneaking suspicion that this may be another redundant M.)

Pope tells his followers to log off for Lent

Jedit
Trollface

Show yourself, pontiff

I will never log off.

(with apologies)

If you're struggling to keep new year resolutions, try NGTS-10b, a mere 1,000 LY away. One year is just 18 hrs

Jedit
Joke

"Venus is not a good destination to head for...."

After 44 months, someone finally provides a positive benefit of leaving Europe.

Google product boss cuffed on suspicion of murder after his Microsoft manager wife goes missing, woman's body found, during Hawaii trip

Jedit
Holmes

I'd be very surprised if a <job title> ever turns her phone off

If my spouse worked for Google in a senior position and I wanted to get out, the very first thing I'd do would be turn my phone off. Google are not shy about slurping location data, after all.

Come to Five Guys, where the software is as fresh as the burgers... or maybe not

Jedit
Joke

"Apophasis"

Wasn't he the villain in Stargate SG-1?

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

Jedit
IT Angle

BMS on Win7 - nope

Yeah, I'm pretty sure one of our BMS systems is still running on XP. It's definitely the only analogue phone left in the building, because the antique modems can't talk to Skype - or at least that's the explanation I've been given.

(No, I don't know where the IT angle is in two tin cans and a piece of string.)

Atari would love to ship its VCS console but – would ya believe it – there's yet another delay. This time, it's the coronavirus's fault

Jedit

"Coronavirus has become the new one size fits all excuse for delays"

It's not just an excuse, though. I'm waiting on several Kickstarter board game projects that are being manufactured in China, all from companies I trust, and they pretty much simultaneously updated to say the same thing: Chinese New Year celebrations extended slightly this year, then the coronavirus showed up, so they're delayed a bit.

Elon Musk shows world that he is truly awful at something

Jedit
IT Angle

"Elon Musk shows world that he is truly awful at something"

I'm curious now. When did Musk show the world that he was actually good at something, other than self-promotion and raising venture capital?

(The IT angle is sequential to the SH angle, in the case of his music.)

It's been one day since Blighty OK'd Huawei for parts of 5G – and US politicians haven't overreacted at all. Wait, what? Surveillance state commies?

Jedit
Facepalm

"it will give the gov' time to explore other avenues"

No, it will mean that the deal the Yanks demand will be even more one-sided. For instance, going from preferential status in NHS procurement to being involved in the decision-making processes.

Looking for a Valentine's bargain? Samsung's next pholdable tipped for 14 Feb release at a trifling $1,400

Jedit
Coat

"Creased me up!"

I hope you're not in the office, or you might have several embarrassing quality control issues. Luckily they are creases, so they can be ironed out.

(Mine's the one with, you guessed it, creases.)

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