"What the ad industry has done to the web..."
I wouldn't describe it as traffic lights. Social media is more analogous to the pub; I go there to catch up with my friends sometimes. Facebook adverts are like someone coming up to you in the pub and interrupting your conversation to try and sell you something. You tell them to fuck off, but they keep pushing their tat on you. You go to the bar to complain, but the bar staff - who in this analogy are Facebook - don't do anything as the tat seller has slipped them a few quid to ignore him. (Before anyone says anything about blocks: Facebook will continue to show you the same "sponsored" ads for weeks on end even if you block the advertiser and hide all posts from their page.)
If you are a woman you are probably already asking for Angela at this point.
Anyway: the bar staff have ignored you and this person is still aggressively harassing you, so you call the police. But the police don't do anything either, because they're also Facebook. So what can you do? Well, the realistic response is that you smash your glass on the table and grind it into the bastard's eyes, because your personal safety is jeopardised.
Oh, and you don't have "a choice between giving them all my personal preferences and seeing non-intrusive ads or being completely private and having websites FUBB as advertisers try to ram ads up my nose", because their adverts are intentionally intrusive and are rammed up your nose anyway. Your choice is between having your data sold in exchange for intrusive adverts, not having your data sold for slightly different intrusive adverts, or Option 3: stop using the platform.