Posts by Toothpick

Capita lands spot on mega £5bn NHS commissioning deal

"The scale of the opportunity is huge," he said.

In other words "Piss easy to get our hands on even MORE taxpayers cash. Trebles all round"

This could be a case for Mulder and Scully: Fox 'in talks' to bring back The X-Files

Re: Anal probes all round then?

Well the storyline did disappear up its own arse

Eight pocket-pleasing USB 3.0 hard drives

Re: Hmmm

Probably because Apple are upping their prices

Car-crash IT: HUGE write-off for Universal Credit - PAC

Re: I was watching Yes Minister last night

If any commentard has not seen this (and Yes Prime Minister) I strongly suggest you do. If you are looking to buy it, it may be 'mis-filed' in the documentary section.

Wheels fall off bid to sue Apple over iTunes anti-piracy shenanigans

I had to Google .....

.... Real Networks to see if they still existed. I thought they shut down years ago

DEATH fails to end mobile contract: Widow forced to take HUBBY's ASHES into shop

Let's add to the woman's grief

by texting her dead husband's phone offering a £2.50 broadband upgrade. Disgraceful.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/11234042/Widow-takes-dead-husbands-ashes-into-mobile-phone-shop-after-firm-refuses-to-cancel-contract.html

Re: Many firms require a death certificate

Someone else who has not read the article:

"I've been up to the shop with the death certificate, with a letter from the crematorium, the funeral bills – even his ashes. I took everything I could."

I read this as she tried to cancel the contract in the first instance by showing the death certificate.

Google begins to roll out Lollipop to Nexus devices

"Android is getting like Symbian. It keeps getting new releases and features, but ultimately it always has the same crap UI with a bit more polish on it. It doesn't even look better than the original iPhone OS yet."

And your suggestion(s) for a better, more polished UI are ....... ?

Nexus 9: Google and HTC deliver Android 5.0 'Lollipop' at iPad prices

Ars Technica

Summarises

The good

Game performance simply blazes

Thin and light body matched with Nexus line's clean, unobtrusive design

We want to see tap-to-turn-on functions on every tablet from now on

Solid battery life

Android has matured enough that apps generally hold up well on the bigger screen

The bad

Stuttering and pauses between app switches are too common

Slightly loose plastic backing gives the device a cheap feeling

White bleed from the top of the screen is unfortunate

Auto-EQ on speakers goes so far as to ruin certain music and loud scenes

The ugly

8MP camera suffers from second-plus delays to shoot photos

Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores

Re: Cue the lawyers for the shareholders

Just change the name to iCahns.

Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

Would you rather have your MBP littered with crappy stickers telling you what processor it has got and its speed, what graphics it has etc? I wouldn't

Breaking news: Man with Apple shares really wishes they were worth even more

Re: Screw Ichan

But how many years now is it since the register have started on about "Peak Apple"?

Depends who wrote the article

Sapphire glass maker's woes caused by Apple relationship 'breakdown'

The GT CEO

sold $10 million in stock since Feb 14; and 9000 shares ($160,000) two days before the Apple 6/6+ announcement. Coincidence?

Apple may get the company on the cheap, but Apple pumped a load of cash into GT which allowed them to expand their operations. You can't compare what happened to Phones4U with this.

Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Re: Samsung

Don't Samsung always quote numbers shipped, whereas Apple quote numbers sold? There will be one hell of a difference.

MOST iPhone strokers SPURN iOS 8: iOS 7 'un-updatening' in 5...4...

At least the Apple faithful .....

.... were given a choice to update. Unlike the Android faithful who may get an update when the manufacturer and/or carrier feels like it.

Oh noes, fanbois! iPhone 6 Plus shipments 'DELAYED' in the UK

Re: £699

"In portrait mode only?" - another fact you need to check on. It does landscape as well.

iOS phone phlaw can UNMASK anonymous users on social media

Re: There's no such thing as a secure platform...

Not sure why you have been down voted here. Very sensible comment. Have an up vote

iThing builder Foxconn applies to be mobile network operator in China

I dispair

Why include "iThing builder" in the headline? Foxconn builds for lots of companies not just Apple. It seems to me that no matter how tenuous the connection the Reg wants to get "iThing" or "Apple" in the headline.

Good opportunity to crowbar "Peak Apple" in there as well.

Phab-u-less: Huge MONSTER iPhone 6 not due until 2015 – claim

"So someone who knows nothing about something says something on issue. Great."

The so-called analyst or Jasper ?

Indie labels: 5 reasons why we're hauling YouTube before Euro antitrust watchdog

Re: Message for the labels

"Sterile crap" - well said Sir.

TalkTalk whips BT with riding crop over sport fibs in telly ad

Re: Fear the power of the mighty ASA

+1. They are about as useful as a chocolate chisel. Or OFGEM.

Android is a BURNING 'hellstew' of malware, cackles Apple's Cook

What amazes me....

... is that the headline has the word "Apple" in it, and the story is actually about Apple.

Super-heavy element 117 DOES exist – albeit briefly. Got any berkelium handy?

Greatscottium

Icahn, but Iwont: Carl the investor pest ends war with eBay

Re: What percentage of eBay shares did Icahn buy?

2.15% at the moment

We dig into the GTech GDrive Mobile ... and watch WORST tear-down vid OF ALL TIME

Re: Benchmarks show it's pointless

Very happy to be corrected on this but isn't it the WAY data is transferred that is the difference? I tried using a USB3 drive with Final Cut Pro and FCP was not happy.

However, an external Firewire 800 drive + FCP and all's well. On paper, FW800 is a hell of a lot slower than USB3. They are different technologies designed for different uses.

EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

Re: Because there is nothing on my Lumia...

@AC

"You utter cock"

You're not James May, are you ?

Apple to switch HUMAN iPhone-juicer-fiddlers with ROBOTS – report

Re: Dear Jasper,

"stop heading down the plughole to click-baitism"

Too late for Mr iHamill.

Apple flops out latest OS X Mavericks beta, hopes sound+graphics sorted

Non-story

What a non-story. And in other news, Tim Cook has a piss at least once a day.

Apple iOS 8 'will put end' to crap map app rap flap misery

When it's released will Apple HQ be renamed "Fruity Firm"?

Cameron: UK public is fine with domestic spying

Re: Look you have all taken this the wrong way.

Who pissed on your fireworks ?

HOT AIR-FILLED Apple fanbois SHUNNED iPad 2 at Xmas

Re: Wait a minute...

And it seems they're ripping off MS for the UI too. Make of that what you will.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/tech/news/a545173/samsung-galaxy-s5-user-interface-appears-in-new-photos.html

BT warned: Speed up Openreach repairs or face PUNITIVE FINES

BT Sport

"She said that "improvements come with a price tag," and that BT was concerned that Ofcom's "few pennies per month" remark was woefully inadequate"

They do come with a price tag don't they? So how can BT afford to spunk nearly 900 million quid up the wall to pay for Champions League footy?

Apple's GOLDEN BLING MOBE still the top selling US handset

Re: Shock news

"The world (+ dog) was stunned today to learn that many Americans have no taste."

I know!! Some still buy Samsung.

To fel with you! There's an NSA spook in my World of Warcraft

.... That's after their 14 day trial expired

Icahn rallies the troops to pump Apple for cash at next shareholder meeting

And I read...

.. one word in his tweet as "predatory"

'Best known female architect' angrily defends gigantic vagina

Re: Compensating for something?

also - hippo's yawn or clowns pocket

Foxconn-rebrander Apple to rebrand hardware from other Taiwanese firms, too

Re: Who's Out in Force today

@AC 19:57 - Are you new here?

I think regular readers on here are getting royally pissed off with red-top type headlines and reporting.

Microsoft's so keen on touch some mice FAIL under Windows 8.1

Re: don't need new laptop ...

just an old O/S

iPad Air not very hot: Apple fanbois SHUN London fondleslab launch

The tick list

Peak Apple: check

Fondleslab: check

Fanbois: check

Fruity Firm: check

Written by: enough said.

I do like iAcolytes though

Google RIPS aside curtain, exposes Nexus 5 phone, KitKat Android 4.4 coupling

Re: high end hardware

' ...... as they usually lack some combination of features I want."

I think you could say that about ANY phone on the market at the moment. Personally, I would like (slightly) bigger screen, but an SD slot is not a requirement for me.

Now if a manufacturer allowed you to order a bespoke phone where you can specify screen size, battery size, SD slot, OS (?) etc, they may be onto a winner.

Beer: because it's Friday

You like iPads, you like things called 'Air'. You will LOVE this puppy

...... trying to amaze people with rather pointless stats

Isn't this the domain of Samsung?

Windows 8.1: A bit square, sure, but WAIT! It has a Start button

Re: Failed Desktop GUI

Pish. It most certainly _is_ possible to "make Ann Widdecombe look attractive". And it doesn't even take much Photoshoping. Just park her next to Steve Balmer.

My eyes ... my eyes

'Please, steal my phone' TV ads by T-Mobile US slammed by legal eagles

I saw this...

... on holiday very recently. I just thought this was par for the course as far as American ads were concerned.

Swap your old iPhone for a new one, Tim Cook tells British fanbois

Re: Oh Jasper

and no mention of Foxconn rebrander.

"allowing fanbois to spend their cash on whatever iTat they fancy"

iTat - an anagram of the author

You put up with CRAPPY iOS 7. You can put up with Obamacare too, says prez

I would never have guessed

Jasper had written this.

Did Obama say that iOS 7 was CRAPPY? No. Did he say the deployment was CRAPPY? No. He said glitches.

Never let facts get in the way of a CRAPPY headline eh?

APPLE is the new COCA-COLA: Bubble-beverage globocorp beaten by Foxconn rebrander

Re: Larry Ellison apparently needs to get himself new luggage.

Shouldn't that be

Mines the one in my carry on Louis Vuitton bag in the overhead......

Screw you, Brits, says Google: We are ABOVE UK privacy law

Re: F**K Google

(One of the UK daytime TV bailiffy type series once showed some chaps turning up at Fujitsu with a warrant to seize kit to the value of a non-trivial debt the courts had found proven. Unfortunately I didn't see how it ended.)

The sheriffs were pissed about by the company for ages. Eventually Fujitsu found the dept responsible and paid up in full. They blamed the debt on an "administrative error" if I remember correctly.

Peak Apple: Samsung hits DOUBLE the market share of iPhones

Re: anyone know the breakdown

Article in the Grauniad that I found interesting

http://www.theguardian.com/technology/appsblog/2013/aug/15/android-v-ios-apps-apple-google

Leaked photos of iPhone 5C parts portend ugly Google legal battle

Re: Rik - You have surpassed yourself...

Was it such a slow news day that you had to make this crap up?

Here we go again: Apple gets second bite in ITC Moto patent spat

Re: And if they in turn merged...

"If they merged they would become Fruit & Nut."

Nah .... Whole Nut