Posts by Hamish

Apple bars WinXP users from iCloud

"bars"?

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

Those bastards at Apple have LOCKED my PDP-11 out of their iCloud. They have WILFULLY EXCLUDED my ZX81. They have held a metaphorical gun to the head of Babbage's Analytical Engine and PULLED THE TRIGGER.

Knights Templar to Vatican: Give us back our assets

Give them back everything

Give them back everything that was theirs: which is to say, raw materials they mixed with their toil, rather than stuff they nicked from other people.

Something tells me that's not going to be worth €100bn.

Miserable Brits declare War on Comfort

Oh boo hoo

"I'm slavishly addicted to a crap drug, and now that they make us go outside to smoke it I want to send the energy from burning fossil fuels into the stratosphere so I don't have to wear a jumper".

I suggest an Orlowski pledge: "I will never click through an advert on the Reg in an Orlowski article or during a session in which I have come to the Reg through an Orlowski article." He's obviously an effective troll, so all we have to do is turn him into a bandwidth drain for the Reg.

Simple way to stop cows farting

Go vegan

Apple takes flak as AT&T drops iPhone bomb

The numbers add up perfectly

So let me get this straight. Around 280,000 sold but only 140,000 activated. Initial sales limited to 2 iPhones per person.

It's almost as if everyone bought one to use themselves and one for eBay...

UK gov offers car CO₂ rankings by class

Bloody conspiracy theorists

If taxing CO2 is like taxing the air we breathe, then stopping people dumping effluent into your rivers is just another way the government controls the water you drink.

Nothing ever gets proved outright by science, but the probability of global warming at the levels we are seeing being caused by natural cycles is virtually nil. Christ, if you don't understand academic papers it's not as though you can't just go and watch a documentary movie about it.

BBC Trust to hear open sourcers' iPlayer gripes

Re: Damned if you do, Damned if you don't

"Umm, If I know the pixel values by modifying an open source DRM sdk, what's to prevent me from saving to file. There is no way to do DRM and Open Source. If I have the code, I can do what I want with it unless you are distributing parts of it as compiled libs."

You are arguing for security through obscurity. A proper cryptographic system keeps only one thing secret: the secret key.

What's al-Qaeda's take on the iPhone?

Dear Reg

Please write an article about the iPhone every day for the next year. Those of us who want to read such articles can derive enjoyment from doing so; those of us who can take them or leave them can do have fun doing exactly that; and those of us who want to complain about the abundance of iPhone articles can also be satisfied. It's a win-win-win situation. Maybe make it 2 years.

Beeb reveals Kylie as Titanic waitress

"Whatever"

I won't watch it if it's got Catherine Tate in it.

Why the iPhone is a success

RE: I fail to see the excitement

It's "fewer features", not "less features". And your comment just gets more ignorant from thereon in. Once again: if features are all you care about, get yourself a nice Linux phone. The rest of us care about the interface. You won't understand why that is until you look past the flashy graphics.

EC wants to suppress internet bomb-making guides

Oh, great

So instead of finding out from the internet how to make bombs which go pop and fizzle and don't work, they'll be forced to go to much more accurate sources.

Catherine Tate to accompany Doctor Who

No no no no no no no no

I've really enjoyed Doctor Who's return to our televisions, with the stark exception of a single episode: the Catherine Tate Christmas Special. The only thing that kept me watching was the hope that she might die horribly at the end. I cannot watch a whole series of that shite. This is a terrible mistake on the part of the BBC.

Oz Big Brother in dead dad ding-dong

Well said "yeah, right"

I can't help but wonder whether all the people clamouring for her to have been told are doing so for voyeuristic reasons rather than out of concern for what's best for her.