Posts by ADJB

Oracle's new AI-enhanced support portal leaves users fuming

Re: AI Acronym Generator ?

To be fair MOS might be meaningless but it's better than calling it MOP

England's local government shake-up promises to be a massive tech headache

The chance to standardise

We have all seen extensive coverage of past software upgrading/ updating failures and one of the questions asked has been “Why can’t we have a nationwide standard software system for councils?”

The answer has always been to blame the of lack of standardisation between councils doing the same jobs. So, being as these are statutory duties based on UK law surely now is the time to introduce such a system as large numbers of what will be ex councils are going to have to change their method of working to be in line with the mothership authorities.

It may take slightly longer but having a UK wide system with all the benefits that brings will, in the long term, have massive savings and escape the clutches of both profit driven software companies and incompetent local political figures protecting archaic working practises and their fiefdoms.

Elon Musk's Grokipedia launches, filled to the brim with plagiarism and AI slop

Interesting.... The BBC has the same story running on it's main news page which says more or less the opposite of this one. To be honest it reads more like a press release from Musk. I'm sure they will have checked the sources and passed it by it's fact checking team before publishing......

Schleswig-Holstein waves auf Wiedersehen to Microsoft stack

Re: Proof (if it were needed)

Given the history of Gov IT projects I would say can't AND won't

UK government says digital ID won't be compulsory – honest

Something I must have missed is that these "cards" will also be location trackers as soon as the "security services" (and if history is anything to go by your local council) have access to them. I know that can be done now but to have all the information in a single place will make things much easier.

Looks like I will need a new burner phone when they make them mandatory.

Social media users rubbish at spotting sneaky ads, say boffins

Now I have to hate myself

I've just found out that every post I put on facebook is an advert.

One of my hobbies is live music photography and after each gig I will post the photos to my feed using the heading <band name>, <venue>, <date>. These are the only posts I ever make. I share these round other music groups including the venue and the band. No money changes hands but I do get free admission to the gigs and it has been known for bands to occasionally drop me some merch or a CD as a thank you. I get the odd unsolicited offer of paid work but never take them up.

“The rules cover straight advertising, endorsements, sponsorship, competitions, the use of affiliate links and discount codes, business partnerships, own and third-party brand promotion, product placement, reviews, and any content "about gifts received for 'free,'" whether or not a formal relationship exists”

Given those rules it looks like 100% of my posts are adverts.

I have, inadvertently, become a part of the internet I most despise.

No more 'Sanity Checks.' Inclusive language guide bans problematic tech terms

Can somebody explain to me why Blackboard is a problem but Whiteboard isn't?

Has this sort of situation been Whitewashed?

That would be the sort of thing a White coller worker would do while drinking White wine in Whitechaple.

Are we going to rename White Dwarfs - That must be classed as offensive.

Taking words that are common in practically every language ever tells me that, if you wish, you can find offense where non actually exists.

Half of businesses rethink ditching humans for customer service bots

There does seem to be an edge case even in the most hideous (human) call system - somebody who has passed away.

I have had nothing but excellent service from all sorts of companies, some with really bad reputations in the contacting them department when my parents passed away in consecutive years.

I know it’s a bit extreme but being dead does appear to be the key to getting good service.

Win a slice of XP cheese if you tell us where Microsoft should put Copilot next

For a long time I have tried to figure out how Co-Pilot could increase productivity (profits) in the average workplace then it occured to me.....

Intergrate Co-Pilot into Minesweeper and Solitaire.

Co-Pilot takes care of playing the game while the cube drones are now freed up to do what they are actually paid for.

Productivity gains in a lot of the public sector would be astronomical overnight, just like we were promised.

Fujitsu does not trust Post Office in use of Horizon data in future third-party prosecutions

See also NHS - All departments. Every year.

Europe's largest local authority slammed for 'poorest' ERP rollout ever

From your description I would hazard a guess is the Vogon 4242.

Imagine a government that told Big Tech to improve resilience – then punished failures

Re: That's one option

I've long been in favour of punishment to reflect the crime. For example making the C Suite at Water Companies drink there own polluted water.

Crack coder wasn't allowed to meet clients due to his other talent: Blisteringly inappropriate insults

Re: Boat?

I would have thought she was looking for seamen.

Microsoft tweaks fine print to warn everyone not to take its AI seriously

Re: Dreamland

What has Microsoft been smoking?

In 2012, Washington and Colorado were the first states to approve legal recreational use. Since then, Americans have increasingly supported legal cannabis, and legislatures have taken up the issue more often in recent years.

The timeline fits... :)

Report: Tech misconceptions plague the IT world

"According to Kaspersky, 21 percent of Brits believe a magnet can erase a smartphone. (This might be true if you used that magnet to smash the device into millions of tiny pieces.) That sound you can hear is a thousand IT professionals slapping their faces with the palms of their hands."

This is the fault of the IT industry.

We had, and still have, a lot of HDD's out there which users have always been told, since the days of floppy discs, you shouldn't put anywhere near a magnet. Fair enough.

We now have a lot of Solid State Storage which as far as the average user knows is just a faster sort of disc drive.

The average user doesn't care any further than they do the same job. Nobody has explained, and why should they?, that they are compleatly different technologies and magnets arn't an issue with Solid State.

It wouldn't suprise me if 21% of Brits in the age range asked were brought up with dire magnet warnings so why should we expect any other result?.

Very very few companies do any IT training unless its for software.

If you doubt this try spending a day with your first and second line support teams and see how ignorant the majority of staff are when it comes to hardware.

Child-devouring pothole will never hurt a BMW driver again

Re: Tír na nÓg

I thought Tír na nÓg was a game for the Sinclair Spectrum.

How to keep a support contract: Make the user think they solved the problem

How site visits work

Luser - My XXXX is broken it won't switch on

Helpdesk - Have you checked its plugged in and all switched on

Luser (about 1 second Later) Of course it is do you think I am a fool etc

Helpdesk - I'll get somebody out to look at it.

Arrive on site

What won't turn on then?

XXXXX

and its all plugged in?

Of course it is do you think ect ect

OK, let me take a look (seeing plug sitting on the floor and a new coffee machine plugged in)

Pass Luser said plug

Could you just hold that for me please

Could you just plug it into the wall please

Just try the XXXX now please

Oh, look it started working

All the above is said loud enough for the office to hear so when they plug it in you always get somebody who twigs it just needed plugging in ans says so. Luser id then mocked by fellow Lusers.

Next time a call comes from that office and they are asked to check they do check not wanting the humiliation doled out to the first Luser.

Nasty but efficient.

NASA fixes Hubble Space Telescope using backup power supply unit, payload computer

Not all good

While I admire the skills involved in getting this all working again I am rather annoyed having just worked out how much I could have claimed in milage to do a site visit to fix it.

Mirror mirror on the wall, why will my mouse not work at all?

Re: Foot switch

Knowing some of our medical secretary's who use foot pedals when transcribing dictations I can't make my mind up if "strop" is a typo or not.

FCC forced by court to ask the public (again) if they think tearing up net neutrality was a really good idea or not

Plain English

Looks like the FCC press office has employed Sir Humphrey.

A few reasons why cops didn't immediately shoot down London Gatwick airport drone menace

Re: I say we ...

No, that's overkill.

Better we drop a big enough nuke on central London so the EMP gets the drone, after all the aim is to keep Gatwick working.

Bonus points for doing it when parliament is fully occupied.

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Faith in technology

Articles like this are what keep my faith in technology alive when your bring flooded with IOT devices and other worthless crap.

Microsoft readies the swatter as more bugs wriggle out of the Windows 10 woodwork

Re: Why is this even news?

Maybe not valuable or interesting as news items but comedy gold.

The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

Shame Really

I suspect this would have been one of the best selling lines in the long history of dodgy Reg merchandise.

There's an epidemic of idiots who can't find power switches

My usual response to the inevitable question of what was wrong with it is to answer in a load enough voice for all the office to hear "You have to switch it on / have it plugged in for it to work.

The making people look like idiots system works well for cutting down on repeat calls.

Plods waste millions keeping their arses covered and ears open

Poundland do some very nice leather belts in various sizes and styles. No doubt they make a profit on that price as well.

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Kinnect and Rare

You always get more value for your cockups if you play them in pairs.

I don't know of anybody that uses or even has used the (lets copy the Nintendo Wii) Kinnect on the Xbox. It seems to have no real purpose that a gamer would want given the Xbox has always been pushed as having more "hardcore" (i.e. FPS) games than anything Nintendo would consider decent on it's consoles.

Now couple that with effectively destroying Rare as a credible Games producer by forcing them to make second rate games just to support the Kinnect.

Bingo - Two plagues on the bottom line for the price of one.

At least now Rare can, hopefully, get back to producing the quality games, of a type Nintendo would approve of and therefore attract the audience you just alienated.

Sorry, forgot, all the top talent got that pissed off by being forced to produce rubbish that they all left.

I would bet those pair of mismanagements have cost the best part of a billion.

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chopstick-collapsing Spam musubi

Re: I quite like Spam these days

"Although I've only introduced Spam into the equation in fairly recent years, after Plumrose Luncheon Meat [in a similarly sized and shaped, albeit green, tin] disappeared from the market."

I was using Plumrose Luncheon meat this morning and had a few nice Barbel, Chub and a couple of Eels using it. If you really want to actually eat the stuff then my normal stockist is Home Bargains where it goes for 99p a tin. There are without a doubt other stockists who don't care enough about their brand to stock the stuff.

http://www.tulipltd.co.uk/about-us/brands/plumrose

Indiana Jones whips Bond in greatest movie character poll

What about Tom?...... and for that matter Jerry.

IN YOUR FACE, Linux and Apple fans! Oculus is Windows-only for now

Re: Serious question ...

Yes.

If the quality is good enough I can see a lot of opportunities for non gaming uses especially when used with high end CAD kit (which has more or less the same hardware requirements) in training and general design work.

There isn't a massive difference between running round the industrial level in Mega Blaster XXX and using the same ideas to train people on a plant layout.

Facebook echo chamber: Or, the British media and the election

It's still true.....

Hacker: Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers: The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country; The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country; The Times is read by the people who actually do run the country; The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country; The Financial Times is read by people who own the country; The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country; And The Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.

Sir Humphrey: Oh and Prime Minister, what about the people who read The Sun?

Bernard: Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits.

NERDS KICK PUPPY 'bot in brutal attack

Re: Best of all...

It probably just squats down and leaves a pile of AAA's behind.

Care.data's a good thing? Tell us WHY, thunders watchdog

Re: Not to worry

To be fair at least that will be quicker, cheaper, more efficient, more reliable than the government will manage.

Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*

Being as even Microsoft have now admitted that gamers (and to be fair, everybody's) interest in kinnect is zero or slightly less they might actually allow Rare to start producing good games again. Shame that all the talent got that fed up of overbearing management that they left so now the company is just a shell of the company it once was.

Password manager LastPass goes titsup: Users locked out

Clouds.....

Clouds do seem to have this habit of raining on people.

Newly spawned Dixons Carphone leaps onto LSE as £12bn sales org

Now the staff will know nothing about twice as many product lines as before.

Elite Systems promises to order ZX Spectrum revival in two weeks

Re: Elite's Steve Wilcox later promised to set things right.

A number of Dev's have been paid and had the contracts with Elite cancelled.

http://www.polygon.com/2014/4/30/5668382/elite-systems-kickstarter-pays-royalities

This does not of course mean all outstanding debts are paid but the above article gives quite a bit of detail on who has settled and the games involved.

This does leave a few questions.

How many people are still owed money?

What "Classic Games" will be available on launch?

Will it actually work as advertised?

........

TalkTalk talks itself into trouble with budget broadband package fibs

A better solution might be that the infringing company is forced to provide whatever they have offered in the headline print of the advert.

For example - UNLIMITED Broadband for 99p a month.

Should mean the ISP has to provide exactly that, not 99p for the first month and then £25 p/m afterwards plus you must take your telephone line @ £14.99 a month and we charge a one off £75 for "installation" and a £2.50 router. Not of course forgetting that we charge £5 a month to allow you to pay with a credit card and £7.50 a month to send you an email invoice. ....and you must take out a 60 month contract.I wont even comment on the unlimited bit.

Coulson GUILTY of conspiring to hack phones between 2000 and 2006

At least he should be able to pick up some good stories from any of the expense fiddling MP's that are still partaking of board and lodging at her majesty's pleasure.

Dutch firm passes the world's first e-spliff to the left hand side

Re: A dark day for reggae

You could still get away with...

Pass the dutch-e from the left hand side

WORLD CUP SHOCK: England declared winner in 2-1 defeat to Italy

Re: "Spud-faced footie ace..."

It's normally "Spud-faced granny botherer" which is much more factually correct.

Women are too expensive to draw and code – Ubisoft

Re: PC stupidity again

Correct, we demand equal opportunity assassins.

'CAPTAIN CYBORG': The wild-eyed prof behind 'machines have become human' claims

"And as theories go this was all very fine and pleasant until Veet Voojagig suddenly claimed to have found this planet, and to have worked there for a while driving a limousine for a family of cheap green retractable's, whereupon he was taken away, locked up, wrote a book and was finally sent into tax exile, which is the usual fate reserved for those who are determined to make fools of themselves in public.”

Douglas Adams

A truly gifted futurologist who foresaw the coming of Kevin Warwick and his ilk.

Ukrainian teen created in lab passes Turing Test – famous nutty prof

Pot - Kettle

Has Kevin Warwick ever managed to pass a Turing test?.

London officials declare cabbie-bothering Uber is legal – for now

Congestion?

"The Licensed Taxi Drivers Association (LTDA) is planning a demonstration against Uber on 11 June, which it expects to cause severe congestion and traffic chaos in central London"

and we will be able to tell the difference how exactly?

Readers' choice: What every small-business sysadmin needs

Information as a tool

One of the most helpful tools I carry round is a Kindle.

Manuals for all the "odd" software we use, reference books for everything, more or less a full copy of our helpdesk knowledge-base and most importantly, a few novels for when I am waiting for things to happen.

Yes, I know most of this is online somewhere either internally or externally but being as the "online" thing is frequently the problem and I tend to work in a lot of places with no wi-fi / phone signal it has proved it's worth many times.

Authorities swoop on illicit Wolverhampton SPAM FARM

Can we apply this to printed bollocks as well as electronic bollocks?

So the ICO can give a good kick in the profit margins to a company sending out 350k electronic spam messages, how come OFCOM (or somebody else) can't do the same to BT / Virgin / Sky etc for posting about the same amount of unwanted marketing material through my front door. If anything the fine should be larger because at least electronic spam is more environmentally friendly, ask a forest near you. I assume the electronic "marketing material" is no more inaccurate than the printed "marketing material" or if it is they should at least recoup some of the fine when the next Booker prize is given out.

Surprise! Google chairman blasts EU's privacy ruling

And this is a problem why?

If this ruling applies to the EU why don't Google et al just stop using there, for example, .uk and .de domains and run everything through the .com (which I assume is based in the US) where the ruling doesn't apply?.

At the very least they could put a disclaimer up saying EU based domains will give censored results and for full results use the .com. I would assume they could also give more precedence to the fact a take down notice has been requested and refer people to chilling effects for further details.

Beware the Streisand effect.

Gigabyte Brix Pro: You don't need no steenkin' Xbox... when you have 4K-ing amazing graphics

I would assume you need some room for the games as well.

Boffins brew graphene in kitchen blender

Dangerous Stuff

The misses is going to kill me.....