Posts by The Nameless Mist

Ever own a Galaxy S4? Congrats, you're $10 richer as Samsung agrees payout over dodgy speed tests

and in other news

prices of Galaxy S4 on ebay surge

A real head-scratcher: Tech support called in because emails 'aren't showing timestamps'

4 of 400

We had one department who ran an iSeries report of 400+ pages every morning; then went through it and extracted about 4 sheets and discarded the rest.

When we pointed out that there was a print as PDF option; some of the users; who had been using the iSeries for years professed complete ignorance of the option.

Needless to say the paper utilization in the department went right down after that.

UK.gov to press ahead with online smut checks (but expects £10m in legals in year 1)

Something better to do

Doesn't Her Majesty's Government have something better to do than trying to interfere with people's viewing habits?

I'd point out that PM May's "Totally Brexit Folly" project is running full steam onto the rocks of a no-deal exist and they should be focusing on that surely?

NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

someone has to say it ...

..

16 Psyche

A metal moon

Thats no moon .. its an asteroid.

Top cops demand access to the UK's entire web browsing history

They want it ... let them have ALL of it

I suspect that even with all the computing power tucked away at GCHQ; if they really had access to all the browsing data (assuming they aren't tapping it already) then they'll be sitting on a growing backlog from day zero.

Not taking into account of course that anyone with any sense will be running their searches through various obfuscation services and using "burn" devices.

Germans in ‘brains off, just follow orders' hospital data centre gaff

Hack and Slash

We used to have a problem with BT (this is before they span off their engineers into Openreach) where they could come on site to do some kind of engineering work; speak to reception and flash some badges and then charge in to do whatever they thought was best.

In one case they were working in a ceiling void and decided that all the other cables were in the way of their working area. So out come the clippers.

clip .. clip .. clip. (cue lots of alarms going off on security desk as they chop and short out the door and window alarms to 1/3 of the site).

then they found the nice big thick mesh armored cable. out come the bolt croppers (I never found out why they had those in their standard toolkit); clip.

Cue 1/3 of the building dropping off the site LAN as they shear through the F/O links between the racks; and the spanning tree has conniptions trying to reconnect.

We eventually had to force BT into coming back on site with a F/O splicer (incredibly expensive back then) and have them splice the line back together.

Their argument was "anything in the ceiling void that is in our way can be removed per our access agreements". Our response was to ban them from unaccompanied work on site.

Oracle's piping hot new pot of Java takes out the trash (faster)

Some of us have no choice

Unfortunately those of us who deal with "front line support" have no choice in having to have Java-whoa-another-update on their end-user's computers.

A lot of business e-banking systems use java for 2nd level authentication and they force the use of the new Java; sometimes on day0; resulting in total clusterF**K when the new Java bombs out something else.

Huge FOUR-winged dino SPREAD LEGS to KILL – scientists

4 legged kitten spreads legs ..

Not quite the same but perhaps far more entertaining

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0AN43MXHoE

Facebook 'manipulated' 700k users' feelings in secret experiment

FBP

And this kind of nonsense is why anyone with a hint on sense has FaceBook Purity (FBP) installed and set to remove that waste of space called the newsfeed from sight.

If I want the news I'll look at a news website.

Top 10 tech essentials for the festival season

Tech @ Festivals

FFS the last thing you want to do is take a load of easily lifted tech to a festival.

Take a basic phone and use a PAYG number for emergency comms.

Make sure your SO / Maters (and if necessary parental units) know the number.

Take a nice simple digital camera if you must; you can grab a respectable 16Mp one for less than £50.

Put a posting up (restricted to friends only) saying that you're offline for a few days while you get pissed and party down to music at the festival.

Then go have fun.

Superstar cluster-Zuck as Facebook tries out celeb-only edition

Whats the point if ..

Lets face it, the only sort of people who will want to be on this zuckerlist are the sort of people that CRAVE attention from their whimpering public as a method of massaging their egos; whilst simultaneously demanding their right to "privacy"; yes the same people who tip off the papper-snappers when they step outside their front door to go to the local KFC days before releasing a diet book.

The people who are real "stars" are either A) more likely to have a "manged" FB/T presence run by a 3rd party team who keep us plebs happy with the latest goings on OR B) actually do have a public page that they post too.

So why are these people going to want to have a page on a separate system that only other stars are going to see? People at this level have agents to arrange their social lives, book holidays, arrange dinner invites or accept $10,000 invites for a PA.

Facebook to get IN YOUR FACE with video ads

Ad Blocking

And this is what ad blocking software is for.

Apple files patent for iPhone enabled auto-adjustable auto interior

sounds a bit stallone

Ah yes .. someone at the fruit-farm has been watching Demolition Man

Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to porn

Disturbed

I am disturbed at the courts for allowing this claim to be allowed.

I am even more disturbed that the litigant thinks he can get away with blaming a 3rd party manufacturer of a bit of hardware/operating system for his porn habit.

Oh I've got a large magazine fully of nuddy pictures.. i can't stop myself .. I must sue National Geographic.

.. yeah .. doesn't quite work when you put it in context does it?

IT bloke inadvertently broadcasts smut on vast public screen

CD ?

What he didn't have the file on a Digital Download ?

Facebook restricts ads running next to dodgy posts

if only the reverse were true

Why should I as a private FB user, have to put up with a continual spam of "Date this female" adverts?

I bat for the other team, but FB seem convinced I like seeing this crud on my page.

Of course even choosing the ads configuration / don't like because, and using every option from NOT INTERESTED to SEXUALLY EXPLICIT doesn't stop them. The same ads keep coming back.

Maybe FB should get off its hobby horse and give the end users what they want, direct control over the adverts they want (or don't want) up to NONE AT ALL .. of course that means the hordes of money merchantts paying for ever decreasing value stock in FB won't be happy

iPHONES and 'Pads BANNED in US for violating Samsung patent

Awaiting Ban at Customs Control

I am personally awaiting for some smart alek at Samsung to try and get the i-devices that visitors travel with blocked at customs.

.. hysterical laughter..

Low impact and USA only

Look at the models impacted. "iPhone 4, 3GS, and 3G models, as well as the cellular versions of Apple's iPad and iPad 2 lines in the US."

Now who will buy an iPhone4 when they can get 4S or a 5?

Who buys the iPad or iPad2 when they can get a iPad(3)/retina ?

Plus the issue is only applicable in the USA.

Samsung and Apple can carry on with their squabbles but in the end these patent issues are going to get kicked to the kerbside.

Author Iain (M) Banks falls to cancer at 59

Sublimed

[Broadcast Eclear, sent 201306100858.5

x GOU The Nameless Mist

oGSV Slightly Perturbed

&BOFH Reg Readers

Prefer to consider the esteemed is now Sublimed ?

∞

Review: Philips Hue network enabled multicolour lightbulbs

Risque

So what you're saying is that when my mum turns up at my flat, if I'm not careful with the programming it will suddenly be lit up like a brothel?

Orange customer clobbered with SIX-FIGURE phone bill

Automated Cut-Out

More interesting, why the fraud department at orange spot this insane charge racking up and block it?

IT bloke publishes comprehensive maps of CALL CENTRE menu HELL

NEWS : Major Corporates Update Phone Systems

In news today, major corporate operations globally have amended their call trees to introduce a new unique RANDOMISER into the system to frustrate people trying to bypass in-tree advertising.

10-day stubble: Men's 'socio-sexual attributes' at their best

Note the target audience

"showed to 351 women and 177 men – heterosexuals all – who were asked to rate "

interesting, does this denote that the survey team specifically excluded Gay Men because they thought we would give a non standard result?

<no logo as you don't have a rainbow pride one>

Not cool, Adobe: Give the Ninite guys a job, not the middle finger

What doesn't help with Adobe..

Is their refusal to release a corporate level distribution platform like Microsoft's WSUS.

I have 250 users in London (alone) and I don't want 250 of them running an update on Flash, Shockwave and Adobe Reader every time a patch comes out.

If Adobe actually stopped mucking around and released a full domain integrated, O/S aware corporate hub then I'd be happy.

That and of course I don't want CHROME or MCAFEE bundled with my updates.

Personally if I could ban FLASH from my environment I would, but too many sites still demand it; and shockwave gets used in corporate training platforms still.

I've got a super free multi-petabyte storage box for you: /dev/null

/dev/nul .. oh no please no ..

I had this once. Long long ago, some joker had pointed a SunOS system do backup to /dev/nul

Getting a callout to restore a clients backup, only to find this in place was a facepalm moment.

BAN SMUT, rage MEPs: Purpose of internet must be EXTERMINATED

In the words of a certain bald headed starship captain.

"With the first link, the chain is forged. The first speech censured, the first thought forbidden, the first freedom denied, chains us all irrevocably."

Post-pub nosh deathmatch: Souse versus scrapple

And this is why

This kind of carnivore concoction makes me realise.

1... I'm damn happy to be a vegetarian

2.... given people think up these receipes, who the heck has eaten the "good" (and I use that word advisedly) bits of the animal and left some poor sod with these "trimmings".

Vote NOW for the vilest Bond villain

Telly Savalas' Blofeld

Has to be for his revenge attack on James & Tracy at the end of OHMSS (OK Bunt does the shooting but Blofeld's the boss).

Half of Milky Way's mass found in million-Kelvin gas cloud

cue ST reference

OMG its the Galactic Barrier !

NASA working on faster-than-light drive capable of WARP TEN

Re: Careful

Red Shirts only applies to ENT & TOS

Security Dead-men-walking wear Yellow/Gold in NXT / DS9 / VOY

Ultimate bacon sarnie scrap starts to sizzle

Sneaks in with ..

... two rashers of Quorn based bacon substitute, covers it in HP Brown Sauce and slaps it in a large white lightly floured bun.

Runs for it.

UK kids' charity lobbies hard for 'opt-in' web smut access

Opt-In for household level ..

Simple solution.

> Taking up an Internet Connection

ISP "Do you have people under the age of 16 in your household?"

Parent "Yes"

ISP "no-pr0n for you then"

Parent "oh .. urm ..well actually I'd like to watch it sometimes"

ISP "but you have kidz, and you ticked the survey 5 years ago about wanting to prevent kidz watching pr0n".

Parent "but I'll keep the kidz of the computer"

ISP "laughter down phone line".

Parent "sigh .. ok no pr0n please".

ISP "serves you right you interfering busy body".

Blizzard faces court battle for 'misleading Diablo III fans'

Re: Its a MMORPG !

Actually no - I don't have or play Diablo.

- its a (in one mode) Multiplayer game.

- that means it needs to be online.

Do you expect blizzard to manufacture TWO ENTIRE VERSIONS of the game, one to go on your SINGLE PLAYER LOCAL INSTALL and one to run CLIENT/SERVER ?

Its a MMORPG !

So what are the users saying "we bought this online dungeon game and we're complaining because its not playable offline" ?

If people are not capable of reading the SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS or checking on the requirements before purchase OR asking the retailler, then its their fault.

Of course in the modern "oh I don't like it .. lets lawyer-up and sue" is fairly typical now.

Apple iPad sales drop by DOUBLE DIGITS in Europe

Pricing

Maybe if Apple grasped the concept that adding GBP£100 to cover the cost of the "allegedly but its not" 4G slot was moneyraking and reduced their prices overall to match the competition they'd sell more slabs.

A US iPad3 WIFI+Cellular 16GB costs USD 629

same item in UK costs GBP 499 equiv USD 722.

So apple, who sets pricing policy is gouging the UK by nearly USD $100 per unit.

You want us to buy the tech, then play fair on the pricing.

Top Facebook exec begs students: 'Click on an ad or two'

Please click on an ad ... please give us $

in other words in order to keep our share price up and keep us nice and wealthy will you please waste your bandwidth clicking on things that you have little or no interest in, that will inevitably result in your FB profile being "sterotyped" to deposit more ads at you.

watch me NOT care.

Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide

BTDTBTTS

For those of you who don't know

BTDTBTTS = been there, done that, bought the T-shirt,

Britain prepares for government by iPad

My Expense Claim

Given the Government and the Local Government send me loads of bits of paper, can I buy a nice new fondleslab and then give my MP an expenses claim ?

NO? .. then why should the gov bods be able to claim their's back ?

Adobe auto-update eases Flash update chore - on Windows only

Corporate Level Deployment

If Adobe really cared about update distribution, they would provide a full localised server distribution system for their updates and versions that corporates could work with.

So instead of having 300 workstations hitting my internet feed, I have ONE server pulling the updates and then pumping them to the workstations.

Come on Adobe .. look at WSUS and get sensible on this.

Ten... sub-£100 mono laser printers

1130n review details WRONG.

Your reviewer has his wires (or should that be ports) crossed.

The model description is the 1130n which has USB and ETHERNET.

The plain 1130 has only USB.

So either the model name reviewed is wrong, or the reviwer wasn't looking at the ports.

The unit doesn't have a FLIP OPEN custom feed like the Samsung 2250, it has a slide feeder like the 2130.

BlackBerry PlayBook OS gets RIM spit 'n' polish

Setup .. horrific

I have just spent the better part of two working days trying to get a Curve 8900 on Blackberry OS 4.x to speak with a Playbook.

Aside from having to upgrade the device to B/OS 5.x, then spending hours with the wretched BB not wanting to install AppWorld via the Blackberry Desktop - which turns out to be a problem with some varaints of v5, only solved by repeated attempts to download it "over the air".

Then having to hammer away at the machine to install the "BRIDGE" on the 8900, which then prompts for the installation of a "identity update" on the 8900. That only appears to work over WIFI.

Finally the "oh so simple" BB-to-PB pairing took over a half-dozen attempts with using the "QR code" option.

The PB's "lecture" on how to do the "swipe up / swipe down" from the border needs a BYPASS option as its infuriating to have to do this on one machine .. let alone repeatedly, and doing it for a corporate rollout will give me RSI.

The system seems to have a dual-set of icons for "personal accounts" and "bridge mail/calendar etc" and i have yet to find a way to DISABLE the personal accounts, which hog the top 1/3rd of the icon panel.

Personally I'd rather beat myself over the head with an iPad than issue one of these things.

David Cameron gets custom prime-ministering iPad app

big red button

no .. not that one .. that makes the cappuchino

Solicitors from hell website unplugged by libel judge

yet another legal decision without technical knowledge

Just how does the High Court expect to be able to make this stick?

Sites like "the wayback machine" at www.archive.org make the judgement pointless.

Raving Iranian TV accuses Ofcom of Sky ban

Simplez Solution

As part of their penalty, post-money-fine is to make them put on an English and Arabic statement on screen and verbally every few hours that states exactly what is going on and have someone watch the channel to make sure they don't say "at 3 o'clock we were forced to tell you something by Ofcom".

Open source team creates apocalypse survival kit

Storage

Lets hope they store the info on a non-degrading hardcopy somewhere.

In fact lets hope they store the info in Multiple Locations in Multiple Written Languages and have a primer to teach the pre-industrials how to make the basic materials required.

Because lets face it .. starting the guide with "the next product requires steel" when the natives are barely in the bronze age is going to be hilarious.

Details of all internet traffic should be logged – MEP

Go for it!

I know one group of people who will be rubbing their corporate hands in glee at this kind of concept. The storage manufacturers.

you must store details of all internet traffic.

just how much is that going to require? how many TB of data / hour.

then watch the MPs try to exclude themselves from the auditing and tracking process of course.

NASA tells Voyager 2 to save its strength

Enhanced Probe or Space Alien Gunnery Target?

So .. what are we ceeding on our decendants?

- A super trancendentally evolving probe that returns to us in a few centuries to find us still punting bits of junk into low orbit, at which point it scans us and disappears into some higher dimensional state?

- A bit of interstellar garbage for some space alien to take a pot-shot at

- A lure that will bring untold woe when brain-sucking aliens follow its helpful "come see us soon" information plaque.

Reg hacks confront really wide Oz load terror

Coober Pedy

I see Coober Pedy got a mention. A sizeable percentage of the UK population knows about Coober Pedy.

Gay-bashing cult plans picket of Steve Jobs funeral

WBC Banned in UK

We don't have to worry about the Westboro BC causing this type of problem in the UK

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/hampshire/7898972.stm

UBS tells IT contractors: Take a 10% pay cut ... or 100%

possibly what the UBS IT bods are thinking right now

with apologies to Fight Club

Look, the people you are trying to reduce the salary of, are the people you depend on: we manage your servers, we de-spam your emails, we guard your data, we run your PABX, we guard your systems while you sleep. Do not fuck with us.