* Posts by NoneSuch

2643 publicly visible posts • joined 25 May 2010

Console gaming giant goes into handjobs

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Pirate

I will bet serious money...

...that the 400 employees of PopCap today will be down to only 200 in two years or less.

I for one welcome the new corporate overlords with their profit margin spreadsheets and board of directors.

Don't worry about the employees that much. With "$100m in EA shares to some PopCap shareholders" I am sure those 2-5 people will look after the rest when the cuts come.

Heat sink breakthrough threatens ventblockers

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Zalman

...would be interested in this I bet. Looks like something they would feel comfy with.

US Marine gets date with Meg Griffin on YouTube

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Semper Fi

Now there is a Marine who beat the odds. Well played Sir.

Assange™ in court to fight extradition order

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Black Helicopters

@AC 11:51

No, there is no extradition for JuleA$$ from the US. Nor will there be any until he is in Sweden under lock and key. THEN it will arrive and be processed post-haste. The US Gov is vehemently after a hacker with Asbergers for hacking mil sites for a laff. JuleA$$ published thousands of classified documents from US Gov and to say he is not on their radar is simply naive on your part. To para-phrase Monty Python, he may be an idiot, but he is no fool.

Apple flings patent lawsuit at HTC (again)

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Devil

I am not commenting.

If I did it would never get through the moderators and posted because of the language I would use.

I bought an HTC Android after comparing feature sets and looking at the way it operates in comparison with Apple. With an HTC I get multiple choices in "App Stores". With Apple I get one.

Apple lost against Microsoft in court way back for 'stealing' Apples GUI. That precedent alone invalidates a third of the lawsuit against HTC. The remaining 2/3's is based on patents that should never have been granted. Keep pushing Apple. One day the Supreme Court will trash your "patents" in the way they should have been squashed by the Trade and Patent Office when they were applied for. One day (one hopes) common sense will rule again.

Oracle resellers: 'Give us our cash and make it snappy'

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Coat

No title really.

"For us to be able to account for the rebates and be exact, we need to wait for the quarter to close"

In other words, 'we want to make sure we have enough money to cover our losses before we give some away'.

Schmidt preaches 'deep integration' desire with Facebook, Twitter

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The Twinkie Analogy

Mr. Schmidt wants integration like shoving a drinking straw in a Twinkie. Then Google can suck out the creamy goodness inside and leave an empty husk behind. Same strategy as M$, Facebook, Apple and a dozen others.

Google: Go public on Profiles or we'll delete you

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Dear Google...

If you do insist on no private profiles and want to be security pro-active; you should set all your accounts as public showing only full name and gender by default with all other features and services turned off until the user decides otherwise.

My account is currently private and will remain so for many reasons. Associating a passport number or some other form of traceable ID to an on-line personal profile will be abused by private business and government. Not a matter of 'if' but 'when'.

@Daryl - "If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear." has nothing to do with it. We are moving to a dark place where if you are curious about learning about AIDS and go onto Google searching for information your health insurance will go up the next time to renew. You can get denied for a job because HR finds out one of your online friends has a drugs felony conviction you know nothing about. Once the inter-related databases are there, they will have serious repercussions.

Nice try, Amazon: 'One-click' payment too obvious to patent

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Joke

I think that is cool...

Now my two-click, three-click, four-click and five-click patent applications will sail through.

Apple fails to get US 'App Store' trademark injunction

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Coat

I am going to trademark...

...the word "the" as I have used it all my life. Time to keep others from using my intellectual property and cash in on the (TM) gravy train by charging people 5p every time they use it.

El Reg to unleash rocket-powered spaceplane

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Happy

HARA KIRA

High Altitude Rocket Assisted Kit In Released Ascent

Behind Microsoft's $15 Samsung Android royalty claim

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Devil

Can someone...

...not take these bullies to court and finally decide on the validity of these so called patents?

Facebook gets awesome with Skype

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Meh

Oooooooooo...

Facebook, Skype and Bing together at last.

Beyond saying "meh" I cannot think of anything else...

Security giants join forces to train cops on cybercrime

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We already have that organization

It is called the High Technology Crime Investigation Association and to be a member requires you to work in IT security or law enforcement. It has chapters worldwide.

"The High Technology Crime Investigation Association (HTCIA) is designed to encourage, promote, aid and effect the voluntary interchange of data, information, experience, ideas and knowledge about methods, processes, and techniques relating to investigations and security in advanced technologies among its membership."

http://www.htcia.org/

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

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Facepalm

35% ???

So it is better than the latest movie then.

Apple orders millions of iPhone 5s for September release

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Meh

Why wait?

HTC has many top-end "better than iPhone" Android models out now... Unless you are a hardened fanbois, why wait until September for piddling cosmetic improvements over your current iPhone?

Atlantis crew prepare for the 'Final Countdown'

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Stop

If the US spent...

...what they dedicated to military operations in Iraq / Afghanistan on space we would already be on Mars and be half way to having an operational space elevator. Not to mention a lot less craters and ticked off fundamentalists.

"We are not ending human space flight, we are recommitting ourselves to it and taking the necessary – and difficult – steps today to ensure America's pre-eminence in human spaceflight for years to come."

In other words, they are depending on the Russians until Mr. Musk can get his kit sorted.

What's the point of data centre orchestration?

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Mushroom

Dear Board Members...

80 / 20 is not designed for IT Pros. It is designed for what happens when brain dead users are given access to do strange, weird or just plain dumb things to servers, workstations and ancillary gear. They plug in their own WiFi hubs for convenience. They change settings and load / run unauthorized programs to "make it faster" or chat to their Auntie in the Orkneys sending 1,200 snaps of little Ben in his high chair. They download full length movies on their work account, store them in server directories then moan about the speed of the systems / network being slow. The worse thing is because they can install iTunes at home, they think that is a prerequisite to make adjustments to SQL queries on mission critical systems.

Take the ignorant users out of the loop and you will have the happy magical land of 20 / 80 instead of 80 / 20... Until then, there is a reason 80% of IT workers time is being used for "fire fighting". When you gave the inmates of the asylum matches and gasoline what do you expect?

Apple v Samsung: Jobs strikes back

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Devil

Hmmmmm...

Apple Computer, Inc. v. Microsoft Corporation, 35 F.3d 1435 (9th Cir. 1994)

The court ruled that, "Apple cannot get patent- protection for the idea of a graphical user interface, or the idea of a desktop metaphor [under copyright law]...

What else needs to be said?

BBC mulls talent Twitter ban to prevent storyline spoilers

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Ahhh...

So this is why no one is saying who the new Stig is... Drat...

Can Liam Fox break the power of British Army, Navy, RAF chiefs?

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Trollface

So from what I read...

Mrs. Thatcher was going to gut the navy when the Argies invaded South Georgia. So can we expect another small world conflict in a distant part of the globe in the near future?

Spooks made 1,061 bugging errors in 2010

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FAIL

Meanwhile in Uzbekistan...

A naked lone figure crammed into a 4' x 4' x 4' steel barred enclosure blindfolded and gagged with cockroaches crawling all over him hears a door open and footsteps approach. The door to his diminutive cell opens, he is hauled out and a voice says, "Terribly sorry old man. Seems to have been a bit of a bugger-up down in files. Would you mind awfully signing this release promising not to sue and we will have you on a BA flight back to Luton within the hour. Economy, of course. Budget is a bit tight if I'm honest. Oh and here is your phone. Sorry about the gaffer tape. The back rooms boys were a little over-enthusiastic doing their examination."

IBM chases Itanium shops with 'Breakfree' deals

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Coat

Apoligies to John Deacon / Freddie Mercury

I want to break-free

I want to break-free...

I want to break-free from your lies

You're so self-satisfied I don't need you

I got to to break-free

God knows, God knows I want to break-free

(Guitar solo)

Stieg Larsson: Oxfam's number one best seller

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Meh

Nothing like...

...dropping off a book describing computer hacking, anal sex and serial murder to the disenfranchised.

That will help them out right quick.

Pissed-off elves bombard Icelandic town with rocks

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IT Angle

As a result...

The US State Department has warned Americans not to travel to this area. The NSA is monitoring all cellular traffic in a 75 mile radius. Members of the Bolungarvik Elves have been added to the "No Fly" list and CIA Black Ops teams are scanning the area with Predator drones looking for insurgents carrying out further attacks. A Navy carrier group is off shore with Marine Force Recon strike teams just in case the Predators discovery any targets of opportunity.

Apple site hacked 'by LulzSec' - report

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Joke

Nothing to get worked up about...

Apple is releasing a rubber bumper for your passwords. Isn't that what they do when they have an issue???

Fox News tweets hacked to show Obama death stories

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Linux

Not a smart idea...

Making death threats against POTUS is a Federal offense. Now the Secret Service techies will be on their case and unlike the FBI those lads know their arse from their elbow.

Boffins fix dead satellite using 'dirty hack' in space

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Yay for the White Hats...

A finer piece of beneficial hacking boffinry has seldom been seen.

EU cloud data can be secretly accessed by US authorities

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Holmes

Team America Internet Police

The US Gov wants global access to HTTPS Google searches, Skype convo's, TOR, PGP emails, Hushmail and every other source of confidential or encrypted communications that businesses and private individuals have. They have wanted this since those technologies were introduced and the brighter ones among you will realize this predates 9-11 by many moons.

Cloud computing's big marketing push is based on "convenience". Only the truly naive will imagine the US Gov holding up its imperious hand and saying "No-no, we do not want access to your medical records, lists of music, documents, friends, family, travel data and other personal information stored in the cloud."

Facebook's 'awesome' plan to hook up with Skype?

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Coffee/keyboard

Any company...

...that ties itself to Microsoft will only end up benefiting Microsoft.

One per cent of world's web browsing happens on iPad

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Joke

Yes, but...

that is only because everything they do in an iPad is uploaded to the Apple Mothership servers.

LightSquared admits it will knock out 200,000 sat-navs

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Pirate

No Contest

The US Military will have a quiet word with the FCC Chairman and kill this before it starts. No way they are having signal loss on their GPS bombs and radio kit.

Who'll keep taking Windows Tablets in the iPad era?

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Mushroom

M$ is a Corperation

The larger the corporation the smaller the number of innovations that are tolerated. Managers want to protect their jobs and execs want to protect their bonuses and stock options so as a result very little happens.

True innovation is seldom an overnight success and to be appealing to a board of directors it has to be. Catch 22.

Instead of innovating themselves, M$ buys out the smaller companies who do. Of course, they "corperatize" the new additions, make them more efficient and subsequently gut them driving off the original thinkers who cannot stand bureaucracy and three inch thick HR manuals. This is why Skype has been having service issues since M$ bought it.

Facebook promises 'awesome' launch next week

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FAIL

Facebook on iDevices

Or name two things I do not use.

When I learned HR Managers started using Facebook to see if you were an acceptable job candidate for their company, I deleted my FB account and never regretted it.

Background checking in the palm of the hand

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I have no issue with this service...

...as long as the "checked" person gets a notification as to who is checking up on them. Make it a two way street.

Insider says doom looms at RIM

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hahaha

"the culture at RIM does not allow us to speak openly without having to worry about the career-limiting effects."

Well put, and it represents most companies unwritten rule of "say anything negative about us and BOOT... Out the door you go."

Google left out of $4.5bn Nortel patent deal

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WTF?

I seriously doubt...

that lawsuits will succeed from people who only own 13% of a patent.

Oracle: 'Google owes $2.6bn in damages'

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Can anyone see a Nokiaesque resemblance here?

Oracle is worth 164 billion today.

Google just needs to wait until this mess gets around to their stock holders.

The stock price will plummet.

Google picks up the majority of Oracle stock for a song. (Essentially hostile takeover)

Fire Larry.

Smooth sailing after.

Oracle seeks 'billions' with Google Android suit

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Pint

Brin - Sergey

1) Buy Oracle (Will cost you a lot less than paying lawyers/fines).

2) Fire Larry.

3) Have a beer on me...

The world wants cloud coders. Where are the cloud coders?

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Cloud Coders are...

not trained in security, encryption or even common sense. They assume the hardware and firewalls will protect their wonderful code and be pushed along by overly optimistic execs with blinders on. Based on that the coders will not terminate SQL strings correctly or follow correct scripting practice, etc. leaving many exploitable holes.

They will be wonderfully popular until better Cloud Coders build a worm to warp all their data. Then fingers will be pointed, responsibility will shift onto innocent shoulders and the bubble *pops*

Gloomy forecast, job cuts, product delays at RIM

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Holmes

All they had to do...

...was add Exchange email access to a BES server on their PlayBooks and corporations and other businesses would be falling over themselves to get one. Add the same basic security and encryption you find on any business Blackberry and it is a no-brainer purchase for any IT Department for their execs.

It is not the lack of apps, it is the lack of common sense.

Sherlock, because it is elementary.

Refusal to unveil scuppers French refusal-to-unveil trial

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The obvious point.

"A more likely outcome, the Telegraph notes, is that the matter will end up before the European Court of Human Rights."

Where they will lose. Banning a Burqa is idiotic and will go no where. This will be over-turned (as it should be) as it is quite anti-Islam.

Nokia takes hit in High Court priority-calls patent battle

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FAIL

@Richard Jukes

I already did... You owe me 12 Billion Euro.

BOFH: CSI Haxploitation Cube Farm Apocalypse

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I just cut and paste that entire story...

...to be used the next time my boss asks me to work late on the weekend.

Apple iOS 5 gets web 3D...for ads only

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Happy

Apple is...

Mini-me to Google's Dr. Evil...

Germany opens cyberdefence centre to protect water, electricity

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The only way...

...they can protect that infrastructure is if they try to hack it, probe for vulnerabilities and then report back what they found to the private industry owners.

Will they be forthcoming if those hack attempts actually prompt a disaster and own up to the responsibility?

This be bad medicine.

When tuning the server, don't forget the network

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Unhappy

It is a simple fact...

...that users will consume whatever bandwidth you give them and still moan it is slow.

Mozilla pushes out final Firefox 5 test build

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Coffee/keyboard

Slow down lads...

Three major version releases in under a year? What's the freaking rush???

You already have the better browser. However, how about letting your developers catch up with your current browser before kicking up the version number.

I have not upgraded to V4 yet as 3/4 of my add-ons do not work with it. Here's a tip kids. The functionality I find in my add-ons is of more value to me than the browser. So unless you plan on building in the same functionality as my add-ons into the next version I am not upgrading.

That, or let add-ons WORK with future releases without having to be re-coded.

Switch to decaff, take your time and slow down the major version releases. Stabilize the version you have now, before moving on.

Lenovo chief says netbook's day is done

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The future will kill the tablet too.

You will end up with a PC and a smart phone. Tablets are just too large to be convenient to carry and anything they can do can be done (albeit on a smaller scale) on a smart phone.

The "look how cool I am sliding fingers on my tablet" look will fade like the hula hoop.

Of course, a 3D projection hologram screen in mid-air will LET you use a smart phone like a tablet, but we are not there yet.

X-51A hydrocarb scramjet flames out in second test

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Joke

The hamster running on the wheel...

...jumped over to the water tube to have a quick drink.