* Posts by NoneSuch

2724 publicly visible posts • joined 25 May 2010

Woman uses AirTags to nab alleged parcel-pinching scum

NoneSuch Silver badge
FAIL

Re: "police declined to pursue the matter"

Apple and Google agreed to make their tracking devices more transparent by establishing a standard protocol to find out if you have one secreted in your home or vehicle without your knowledge.

Nice to see Google and Apple helping crims find airtags they don't own being in their houses after stealing the packages.

Well done. Well done...

Watchdog warns FBI is sloppy on secure data storage and destruction

NoneSuch Silver badge
Go

If anyone wonders why it took them twenty years to catch Robert Hanssen, here you go...

US sues Georgia Tech over alleged cybersecurity failings as a Pentagon contractor

NoneSuch Silver badge
FAIL

Re: 'Do as I say' ...

So I guess whistleblowers are fine if they expose abuses that can affect the US Gov, but the guy over in Russia is a traitor...

(Best Dr. Evil) Riiiigggghhhhhhtttttt...

Microsoft sends Windows Control Panel to tech graveyard

NoneSuch Silver badge
FAIL

Re: cue the wailing

How about "Settings" Sucks.

Control Panel puts everything in one place for easy reference with forward and back navigation. Settings was designed by some geniuses at MS marketing and engineers who didn't have the balls to say no.

Removing Control Panel is an absolute fail.

Japan's Astroscale wins contract for space junk harvesting robotic arm

NoneSuch Silver badge
Trollface

Re: F.T.F.Y.

I heard this before, except it involved a volcano lair in Japan.

American and Soviet spacecraft mysteriously hijacked in orbit, escalating tensions bring the world to the brink of World War III. MI6 fakes James Bond's death to allow him to investigate undercover. Bond is sent to Japan, where he teams up with the Japanese secret service

Bond discovers that the criminal organization SPECTRE, led by Ernst Stavro Blofeld, is behind the hijackings. SPECTRE's plan is to provoke war between the U.S. and the Soviet Union by capturing their space capsules using a larger spacecraft hidden in a dormant volcano in Japan. Bond infiltrates the volcano lair, disrupts the operation, and, with Tanaka’s ninjas, prevents the outbreak of nuclear war.

Game not over: Epic brings Fortnite back to iOS in Europe, using its own app store

NoneSuch Silver badge
FAIL

"And this is why Apple are arseholes."

If you think Epic and their business practices are any less of an anal orifice, you are sadly mistaken. They are spending that billion dollars as an investment, not to save gamers cash in the slightest, but to build up their own income stream long term.

If the world had a hyperscale datacenter capital, it would be... Northern Virginia

NoneSuch Silver badge
FAIL

And all that computing power is monitoring what I type right now.

Cisco plans to slash thousands more jobs amid AI, cybersecurity push

NoneSuch Silver badge
Thumb Down

They were going to do it anyway. Now they are using the AI tag to lose it in the mass of other news releases.

DEF CON Franklin project enlists hackers to harden critical infrastructure

NoneSuch Silver badge
Big Brother

Knowing DEFCON, this activity will be second in deference to the much more popular, "Spot the Fed."

Microsoft really wants those old Exchange 2016 servers put out to pasture

NoneSuch Silver badge
Linux

I've always wondered why the Open Source equivalent for Exchange has never materialized. There is certainly a demand for Enterprise level email. Does MS hold key patents that block that?

That and an AD replacement on Linux.

80 years ago, IBM gave Harvard University one of the world's earliest computers

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coat

Re: addition problems in less than a second

Few people know that this IBM megalith came with a fashionable wrist strap and was the worlds first "wearable."

(My coat is the one with boot prints on the butt.)

CrowdStrike hires outside security outfits to review troubled Falcon code

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coat

Re: what happened

"the missing 21st parameter – as a pointer, which caused it to touch unallocated memory and ultimately crash the operating system."

As long as the touching was consensual, my outrage is mollified.

Nvidia's subscription software empire is taking shape

NoneSuch Silver badge
Devil

What worries me is the more hardware they rent out, the less will be available for sale.

Demand will drive up prices on a dwindling supply. In and of itself, that's manageable. However, another e-Coin price spike will deplete that inventory even more. Great news for nVidia, sucks if you are a consumer.

Another law firm piles on Intel for Raptor Lake CPU failures as complaints grow louder

NoneSuch Silver badge
Alert

Re: Khaptain

Just like divorce, only the lawyers are guaranteed to end up with money in their pockets.

More than 83K certs from nearly 7K DigiCert customers must be swapped out now

NoneSuch Silver badge
Pint

The strict rules are set by the CA/Browser Forum (CABF), the governing body establishing standards for Certificate Authorities (CAs) in issuing and managing SSL/TLS certificates. To obtain a certificate for a domain, a CA must verify the domain owner through methods like email or DNS record changes. If any error occurs during this domain validation process, the CABF mandates that the issued certificate be revoked within 24 hours to safeguard website security and maintain trust in SSL/TLS certificates.

That isn't something Digicert came up with; it's the agreed standard for being a CA.

DigiCert gives unlucky folks 24 hours to replace doomed certificates after code blunder

NoneSuch Silver badge
Joke

> call the support hotline: +1 801-770-1718.

No, it's _801-770-1718, didn't you read the article?

Boeing's Q2 nosedive buoyed by appointment of new CEO

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: Ode to a beancounter

"Lipstick on a pig," came to mind.

No love lost between Apple and Nvidia as iGiant chooses Google chips for AI training

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

"Things are getting Tensor between Cupertino and Nv"

This is why I love the Reg.

Whoever thinks these up needs a big raise. Thank you anonymous wit!

Boeing Starliner crew get their ISS sleepover extended

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coat

Re: This is unacceptable!

"I don't believe this spacecraft is safe."

No spacecraft can ever be safe. Their designs are a string of risk mitigations to keeping a livable o2 environment within a small metal bubble. Meanwhile, outside that bubble, there's a total vacuum where the temps can swing from just over absolute zero to your oven on broil.

In space, you can only minimize risk to human space flight, you can never eliminate it.

Nedelin Disaster

Soyuz 1

Apollo 1

Soyuz 11

Apollo 13

Challenger

Columbia

It's a long list... Don't expect it to stop growing any time soon.

LA County Superior Court closes doors to reboot justice after ransomware attack

NoneSuch Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Ideas

>Maybe they should rotate their passwords and never click on links or open pdfs.

>Problem solved.

You crazy kids and your modern ideas. Pffft.

ESA starts work on planetary defence mission, because Bruce Willis is retired

NoneSuch Silver badge

If I may be so bold as to suggest an alternative name...

Bold Orbital Launch & Landing Operations Kinetics System (BOLLOCKS)

Angry admins share the CrowdStrike outage experience

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: Holidays

Am seeing a lot of 'holier than thou' posts on Twitter from Mac and Linux users castigating anyone with a Windows PC and laughing.

This sort of thing can happen to anyone and it's only a matter of time before it happens to you, regardless of what flavor OS you chose.

Stop being a d*ck.

Uncle Sam sanctions Kaspersky's top bosses – but not Mr K himself

NoneSuch Silver badge
Stop

Re: Something is missing

"that the Russia-based antivirus developer could be forced or ordered by Putin to backdoor its products and hand over American individuals and organizations' sensitive information from their PCs to Kremlin intelligence."

Twitter, Microsoft, Facebook and a hundred other companies have turned over private info on US citizens to the US Gov.

Pot, meet kettle. Hypocrisy, meet reality.

A universal privacy law is needed. One that forces corporations to opt everyone out of their surveillance services and not force people in through one sided EULA.

Tesla sales, market share dip in EU while other EV makers grow

NoneSuch Silver badge
Stop

Re: A combination?

"Hard truth but yes, it makes my skin crawl when I hear the lazy racism used by so many people who are blissfully ignorant of the fact that the device they're typing on is almost definitely made in China"

Which is why people need to be A) aware that China frequently abuses their own citizens and drives their economy forward with sticks rather than carrots. B) That their regime is focused on the expansion of the power base of the CCP and any opposition is brutally suppressed. C) People need to stop buying Chinese goods as long as A and B exist.

This post would be illegal in China as they have a law prohibiting any criticism of the government. Nor can you publicly display a photo of Winnie the Pooh.

Every component on my PC was not made in China.

Pi goes to spaaaaace... for a bit longer than planned

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coat

It's there for a good time, not a long time.

Maximum-severity Cisco vulnerability allows attackers to change admin passwords

NoneSuch Silver badge
Go

No system, no software, no security protections will ever work 100% of the time.

Layered defenses with restrictive access and continuous oversight from multiple vendors is the only way to mitigate security issues.

NASA swings budget axe, kills $400M+ VIPER lunar trundlebot

NoneSuch Silver badge
Pint

I know it would be considered 'dead weight' and never make it past the design committee, but a pair of huge googly eyes stuck on the front would be an amazing addition.

Call them, "Superfluous Autonomously Articulated Lunar Observation Augmentation Apparatus" Primary A and Backup B. No power required.

SpaceX asks the FAA: 'Can we launch our rockets again, please?'

NoneSuch Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Horse

"Should they rename Falcon to Pegasus?"

Lazarus would be more appropriate, but Phoenix has fiery aspirations.

With the FAA ticking off Elon as badly as the Governor of California, he might expand his company movement and fly over Texas to set up in French Guiana or the Democratic Republic of Congo. Places where his money will buy the influence he clearly demands.

Big Music reprises classic hit 'ISPs need to stop their customers torrenting or we'll sue'

NoneSuch Silver badge
Devil

Re: Home Taping Is Killing Music

It's called the thin end of the wedge. They won't stop at just blocking torrents.

Their attitude is their rights over-ride yours.

AMD predicts future AI PCs will run 30B parameter models at 100 tokens per second

NoneSuch Silver badge
Terminator

This will mean a dramatic increase in speed to get you partially accurate answers.

CISA broke into a US federal agency, and no one noticed for a full 5 months

NoneSuch Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: COMMUNISM!

Typically, governments react to these embarrassing breaches by pulling funding from the red team program. Problem solved.

Hey Microsoft – what ever happened to 'Developers, developers, developers'?

NoneSuch Silver badge

"Microsoft treats its retail customers (and, only slightly less, their enterprise customers) with uncaring contempt."

As long as people pay them monthly, regardless of the quality of their software, there will be no improvements to anything. There is no incentive to improve if doing nothing for 30 days gives them another subscription fee in their account.

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Times change

"It's now money, money, money."

It's actually subscription, subscription, subscription, now.

What's better than money? Money every month until you die and for a few more months after that until your estate shuts off the taps.

Boeing's Starliner set for extended stay at the ISS as engineers on Earth try to recreate thruster issues

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: In a nutshell..

Breaking news. Turns out Boeing installed an MCAS system on the vehicle and didn't tell the pilots.

Advance Auto Parts: 2.3M people's data accessed when crims broke into our Snowflake account

NoneSuch Silver badge
Coat

Only 2.3 million...

Whew, I thought it was a serious breach until they lowered the estimate. Am sure their customers are assured by that.

Not.

Trump threatens to send Meta's Mark ‘Zuckerbucks’ to prison if reelected president

NoneSuch Silver badge
Joke

"Trump has also pledged on the first day of his hypothetical second term as America's President to break up offshore wind farms, which apparently are deadly to whales."

I've seen him in a golf shirt. This is just for self-preservation.

Speed limiters arrive for all new cars in the European Union

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: Good

With an idiot behind the wheel, no speed is "safe."

I prefer the German method of speed control. You can go over 130 KPH on the Autobahn, but your insurance won't cover you if things go pear shaped at 131+.

TeamViewer can't bring itself to say someone broke into its network – but it happened

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: " significant compromise of the TeamViewer remote access and support platform"

"You do know that this is TeamViewer and not MS Teams?"

Shhh... Just wait for him to try join a meeting on TeamViewer.

Users rage as Microsoft announces retirement of Office 365 connectors within Teams

NoneSuch Silver badge
Holmes

They found a nasty security bug. The scale of that bug and their inability to fix it easily is driving the short time span for the cut-off.

In their mind, it's easier to cut off the branch and try to save the tree.

China plans to boost national compute capacity thirty percent by 2025

NoneSuch Silver badge
Joke

"Just how China plans to add 70 more exaFLOPS to its national compute fleet in coming months wasn't discussed."

Thousands of large hamster type wheels hooked up to generators and several camps full of Urghars to power them.

Outback shocker left Aussie techie with a secret not worth sharing

NoneSuch Silver badge
Go

Re: 440V live steelwork

"nicht gefingerpoken"

Take my upvote, please.

Copilot+ PCs software compatibility issues left to you to sort out, with help from crowdsourcers

NoneSuch Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: PowerShell to the rescue!

"Get-AppxPackage -Name "Copilot" | Remove-AppxPackage"

Do that and a nameless MS engineer will chuck in a piece of code on a future patch to reinstall it, because "You didn't REALLY mean to uninstall that brilliant piece of software, did you? We'll just put that back for you without actually telling you about it.

Install Windows today and you no longer own your PC. You just lease it from Microsoft and use it subject to their good graces.

Welcome to CoPilot and the Azure Cloud, the Tar-Babies of the Br'er Rabbit adventures. All you can hope for is to be shoved into the Briar patch.

Police allege 'evil twin' of in-flight Wi-Fi used to steal passenger's credentials

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: Eh?

mailer-daemon@gmail.com works even better.

Microsoft founder Paul Allen's tech museum closes, sells off collection

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: You would think

"It's not entirely clear why the Paul Allen estate, which is run by his sister Jody Allen, decided to shut the museum, given no apparent cash shortage. We've asked for clarification."

Instead of having 20.30 billion in their bank account they can have 20.31 billion, with no on-going expenses to make it smaller over time.

Google begs court for relief from Epic Games' Play Store demands

NoneSuch Silver badge
Devil

Re: Here they go again.

I'll make the changes for 100 Mil even.

Record labels gang up to sue AI music generator duo into utter oblivion

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: $150,000 a piece

It's the music industry so "Careful with that Axe, Eugene." is more appropriate.

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: Greedy record executives

Because AI generated music will owe hundreds of original composers as the AI track, kinda, sorta, coulda sounds like something they did once.

This is the record companies getting nervous because their revenue stream is threatened.

NoneSuch Silver badge

Re: RIAA future court

My lawsuit brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like 'it's better than yours...'

Y Combinator, startups funnily enough aren't fans of draft California AI safety law

NoneSuch Silver badge

"I'm from the government and I'm here to deeply regulate something I don't even understand."

Britain's Ministry of Defence accused of wasting £174M on 'external advice'

NoneSuch Silver badge
Joke

Re: Sounds like

Tell you what M.O.D. Next year, I'll answer any question you have for 99.99 million in calendar year 2025. You can report a 43% reduction in consultancy fees to the oversight committee and everyone is happy. If you agree to this non-negotiable agreement to take effect, stay silent and say nothing for the next 15 seconds; that implies consent.

Perfect, you agreed.

There will be a 25 million early cancellation fee regardless, but that's petty cash for you guys and gals. So basically, you now owe me 25 mil now or 99.99 million at the end of 2025. This consulting thing is easy.