* Posts by Stumpy

404 posts • joined 20 May 2010


Mayflower, the AI ship sent to sail from the UK to the US with no humans, made it three days before breaking down


The beatings will continue until morale improves...

Remember, Happiness is Mandatory Citizen. Welcome to Alpha Complex. The Computer is your friend.

BOFH: But we think the UK tax authorities would be VERY interested in how we used COVID support packages


Re: Stairwell or Elevator

Yep, it's not the falling that gets them. It's the stopping.

Cloudflare stops offering to block LGBTQ webpages


Re: Cloudflare stops offering to block LGBTQ webpages

To be fair though, The Grauniad is often not consistent in the letters they use in any words they print.

Known software issue grounds Ingenuity Mars copter as it attempted fourth flight


Good: Water vapor signal detected for first time on distant planet. Bad: Er, we'll let one of the boffins explain


Re: Hmm ...

I'd hate to be the Deliveroo rider fulfilling those orders though.

NASA writes software update for Ingenuity helicopter to enable first Mars flight


Surely you should be aware that modern software development practices preclude testing before releasing as 'Early Access', then fixing forwards as soon as issues are detected in the Production environment.

* I would add a Joke icon, but I'm no longer certain that this counts as humo(u)r, sarcasm, wit, or reality these days.

Their 'next job could be in cyber': UK Cyber Security Council launches itself by pointing world+dog to domain it doesn't own


Re: This information is grossly out of date

Well, I'll save you £15M right off the bat. Comic Sans. It's always good to start with Comic Sans.


If you can remember them, they can't have been that good now, can they?

What happens when back-flipping futuristic robot technology meets capitalism? Yeah, it’s warehouse work


I'd be impressed if instead of it being a pick & drop unit on the end of a mobile conveyor if it could remove boxes by the palletful, read the labels on them and then place them in the correct place within warehouse/storage - then it'd be a useful/sensible solution.

All I see here is something that looks less efficient than the human it professes to replace.

ROTM? I don't think so - Sarah Connor is safe for a while longer.

Sure, Dave might seem like he's avidly listening to this morning's meeting, but he's actually doing a yoga routine


Re: Only in my underwear?

Who says it has to be your underwear?

Staff and students at Victoria University of Wellington learn the most important lesson of all: Keep your files backed up


Re: I don't even keep my user Libraries on C:

You probably should, since what happens if your home burns down? The way you've described it at the moment, it sounds as though all your backups are still stored in one physical location. Remember the 3-2-1 rule:

3 copies of your data

2 different media

1 copy stored off-site.

The 40-Year-Old Version: ZX81's sleek plastic case shows no sign of middle-aged spread


Yep. I suddenly feel very old...

What happens when cancel culture meets Adolf Hitler pareidolia? Amazon decides it needs a new app icon


Re: 'you make it sound like...'

They did land on the moon. It's just that Hitler and his Space Nazis took them prisoner so we never get to hear anything more from them...

We need a 20MW 20,000-GPU-strong machine-learning supercomputer to build EU's planned digital twin of Earth


Who needs this?

The answer is 42. We already know this.

Reg reader's XXXbox oddity: The BBC4 topless thumbnail trauma whodunnit

Paris Hilton

Pics, or it didn't happen...

US aviation regulator issues safety bulletins over flaws in software updates for Boeing 747, 777, 787 airliners


Re: A Boeing Spokesperson said:

"SafetyThe cake is and always has been Boeing's top priority."


Users complain iOS 14.2 causes some older iPhones to overheat, rapidly lose charge


My iPhone 7+ has been doing this rapid battery draining malarkey on and off now for months, so it's definitely not something to do with the latest iOS14 update.

It's intermittent so hard to pin down. I've had it drop from 70%+ charge to 3% in a matter of 15 minutes or so (with the phone not being used) ... then managed to have it continue to function on that last 3% charge for two or more hours.

So it leads me to wonder if it's actually draining the battery, or if there's some glitch that's causing the phone to misreport the actual charge level instead?

UK coronavirus tier postcode-searching tool yanked offline as desperate Britons hunt for latest lockdown details


Apparently I'm either in tier 503 or 404.

Master boot vinyl record: It just gives DOS on my IBM PC a warmer, more authentic tone


Re: Ah the good old days

C&VG had a covermount flexidisc for the Sinclair ZX Spectrum back in the day, and Personal Computer Games Issue 3 also had one containing all the program listings from the mag.

I seem to recall there were a few other of the popular mags at the time also carried flexidisc covermounts


Social isolation creates craving in the same brain region as wanting food or addictive drugs, study finds


Re: 10 hours Is Not Social Isoloation[sic]

You have just described Nirvana.


Bloated middle age beckons: Windows 1.0 turns 35 and is dealing with its mid-life crisis, just about


And they both ripped off the Xerox Alto environment.

One does not simply shove elephants on a ballet shoe point and call it an acceptable measure of pressure


Re: Pressure


Dell online store charges 16 million dollars for new laptop with paint job


Re: Probably because the pigment

Is that a Mr. Winston Cudoogo, of 55 Mercer Road then Savage?

Trump fires cybersecurity boss Chris Krebs for doing his job: Securing the election and telling the truth about it


Re: We need to recycle him

Soylent Green?

Google Nest server outage leaves US, European smart homes acting dumb


Re: Oh dear, how sad, never mind.

To be fair, it's a static exercise bike, so even with server contact, it's still an expensive bike that goes nowhere...

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?


Re: Why are sockets switched?

Have to be careful with that though. In my yoof I worked in a small TV/Computer repair shop, and we used to regularly do that with kit on display. Until the one day the manager did it and hadn't properly ensured there were no stray strands of copper floating about.

Cue instant flashover and fusing of all the electrics in the storefront (and a very loud bang and shocked manager)

What will you do with your Raspberry Pi 4 this week? RISC it for a biscuit perhaps?


Should parcel it up and send it to the National Museum of Computing. I'm pretty sure they could (eventually) find a display use for it.

IT Marie Kondo asks: Does this noisy PC spark joy? Alas, no. So under the desk it goes


Re: cold feet warm computer.

You think you had it bad?

When I were a lad we used to dream of having a tube 'scope to warm our workshop. We had to resort to huddling around the soldering irons to keep warm.

*sigh* and you tell the kids of today, and they never believe you.

Brexit travel permits designed to avoid 7,000-lorry jams come January depend on software that won't be finished till April


Re: Isn't that particular car park called the M25?

It's also one of the integral plot points in Good Omens I think.

Crowley would be proud.


Re: More queues?

Isn't that particular car park called the M25?


Re: effective and simple to use

Ah, it sounds like it's an SAP implementation then...

Can The Register run Crysis Remastered? Yes, but we don't see why you would want to


Re: Might I recommend.. Medieval Dynasty

I'll admit, I don't do early access games. I prefer to wait and get my sweaty palms on the finished product. That said though, this one is on my wishlist already.

If you like a good action roguelike, then Hades is worth checking out: https://www.supergiantgames.com/games/hades/

ServiceNow founder Fred Luddy sells $13.2m stake in 'defining enterprise software company of the 21st century'


According to this site: https://gb.wallmine.com/people/42171/frederic-b-luddy Fred makes a substantial sale of his shares every two to three months. My money is on this just being a top up of his cash reserves. Maybe he needs a new Learjet or something?

Video encoders using Huawei chips have backdoors and bad bugs – and Chinese giant says it's not to blame


Re: State Sponsored Industrial Sabotage

Yes. once. And never again...

He was a skater boy. We said, 'see you later, boy' – and the VAX machine mysteriously began to work as intended


Re: Wheeled office chairs

No maybe trained by the PFY.

If it were BOFH trained, then surely it wouldn't have stopped at dragging them to the TOP of the fire exit stairs. It would have been trained to gently push them over the edge ...

Apple takes another swing at Epic, says Unreal Engine could be a 'trojan horse' threatening security


Re: "most egregious acts of sabotage that Apple has experienced with any developer,"

It's not that the books are a security threat, it's that the rules state that all payments must go via ApplePay. Since Amazon don't do that ... they can't sell except via the website.


Re: They tried to cheat their way out of payment system they knew upfront about.

Ahhh... but the app is free to download. So that's 30% of nothing.

I won't be ignored: Google to banish caller roulette with Verified Calls


Re: The only winner is Google

Yes, you can buy an iPhone.

Angry 123-Reg customers in the UK wake up to another day where hosted mail doesn't get through to users on Microsoft email accounts


Re: Recommendations please

I recently moved to StablePoint from my old TSOHost account.

It's set up by the guys that originally built up VidaHost before it got bought out by GoDaddy/TSOHost.

Main reason I moved from TSO was because of mails to/from O365 accounts going silently missing. So far, not had any issues with StablePoint - it's all CPanel based hosting and all the infra is built up in AWS I understand.

Digital pregnancy testing sticks turn out to have very analogue internals when it comes to getting results


Re: Doomed

PC Gamer have an article on it <a href="https://www.pcgamer.com/uk/heres-doom-running-on-a-pregnancy-test/" target="_blank>here</a>


Re: waste, waste, waste

Hey! Lay off the hatred for liverwurst and limburger cheese with onion sandwiches.

They're not the exclusive purview of potential mothers to be you know!

Nintendo revives Game & Watch portable proto-console, adds color to 2.36-inch screen


I had so many of these as a kid. Happy memories.

There's a pretty comprehensive list of the units released over at NinDB.

Techie studied ancient ways of iSeries machine, saved day when user unleashed eldritch powers, got £50 gift voucher


Re: That whooshing deadline sound...

Hmm. Probably less ‘hushed awe’ and more ‘existential terror’

'We're not claiming to replace humans,' says Google, but we want to be 'close enough' that you can't tell it's a bot talking


Re: Bot test

I called mine 'Bert'

There's a battery-free Game Boy that runs solely on the power of sunlight and the speed of your button-mashing


Re: Zero point energy. That's the answer.

I see words. Lots of words. However, I don't seem to be able to make head or tails of their meaning in this particular arrangement.

Which speaks volumes about my knowledge and understanding of Quantum Physics. (Bistable cats in sealed boxes and spherical sheep in vacuums* are about as far as I go)

Have a beer on me Mr. Kinsler.

* Of course, I'm not implying that these are very small sheep, or particularly large vacuums. Or any particular model of vacuum either, but clearly your average domestic Dyson isn't going to be cutting it here...


Hopefully, we're not too many years away from the glass batteries being developed by Hydro Quebec and John Goodenough.

Then, devices similar to this might have legs: Solar and electromagnetic power for the mainstay of operations and a rechargable, safe, biodegradable glass battery to give constant power in those instances where the draw is too great.

Everything's falling apart. The Moon is slowly rusting up – and it's probably Earth's fault


That's no moon...

(see title ^^^)

Amazon spies on staff, fires them by text for not hitting secretive targets, workers 'feel forced to work through pain, injuries' – report


Re: Before shouting at Amazon...

Yes, but it's far less profitable...


Re: I'll flip burgers

In my brief employment with McDonald's I never advanced to the grill

... so you didn't stay all day then?

Southern Water customers could view others' personal data by tweaking URL parameters


I would still go ahead and report them for GDPR violation though. It's the only way these idiots will ever learn.



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