* Posts by Stumpy

312 posts • joined 20 May 2010


80-characters-per-line limits should be terminal, says Linux kernel chief Linus Torvalds


I'm definitely on-board with Linus on this one. I know we developers can be a sentimental bunch, but the 80 column de-facto limit has seemed pretty anachronistic now for a very, very long time.

After 30 years of searching, astroboffins finally detect the universe's 'missing matter' – using fast radio bursts


Re: Astroboffins. Really?

You're obviously new around these here parts....

Coronavirus masks are thwarting facial recognition systems. So, of course, people are building training sets from your lockdown-wear selfies


Presumably, when they test the trained AI, they feed in pictures of known people both wearing masks and not wearing masks and rely on the AI being able to determine who is who from all the images...

(or did I just fail to detect sarcasm in your post?)

Linus Torvalds drops Intel and adopts 32-core AMD Ryzen Threadripper on personal PC


Re: AMD Dreams

*AHEM* 640KB should be enough memory for anyone.

Beer gut-ted: As many as '70 million pints' spoiled during coronavirus pandemic must be destroyed in Britain


Re: I wonder

Just think, it might be beneficial for the populations of such seafood ... they drink the unprocessed alcohol, lose their inhibitions and just do what comes naturally after a night out at the fishbar.

The Rise of The (Coffee) Machines: I need assistance. I think I'm running Windows. Send help


Re: What annoys me intensely ...

Blasphemy! BlackAdder ][ was far and away the best.


Re: turn that coffee into an altogether different variety of frothy, brown liquid.

You mean Starbucks?

Coronavirus didn't hurt UK broadband speeds in March. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare, on the other hand...


I use Hyperoptic as my ISP, and haven't noticed any slowdown at all in my connection - could be because it's a 1:1 user ratio, so no peer contention from the neighbours. Consequently, I've not noticed any drop in quality on Netflix or Amazon - downloads from Steam suffer a little during peak times, but to be honest, Valve's servers were pretty crap even before the lockdown.

IBM to GTS staff: Not volunteering to leave with a redundo cheque? We'll give you a helping hand


Isn't this the way it works anywhere? Organization decides it needs to reduce headcount, so asks for those who want to go to throw their hat in the ring. If they don't get enough volunteering themselves for the chop, they move to direct, mandatory redundancy.?

What do you call megabucks Microsoft? No really, it's not a joke. El Reg needs you


Big Beige ... they always wanted to be like IBM, but somehow lacked any of the charisma.

... or the Seattle Shitehawks.


Re: Chocolate Factory alternative?

Plus, exposing yourself to their APIs is enough to make anyone cry ...

Forever mothballed: In memoriam Apple Butterfly Keyboard (2015-2020)


Mid 2015 MacBook Pro here (so the model just before the butterfly keyboards came in) ... still going strong, never had any issues with it (other than the battery recall from last year). Still snappy enough for me to do my work on - although I wouldn't want to use it for any serious gaming [I have a very beefy Windows rig for that].

I reckon, barring catastrophic hardware failure, that I'll be using that laptop for at least another five years, and possibly longer.

The iMac at 22: How the computer 'too odd to succeed' changed everything ... for Apple, at least


Re: Nowadays Macs don't look different than PCs

I think the real argument there is that everyone else just copied the MacBook design philosophy since it looked so good compared to the competition. At the time, no-one else was producing a unibody aluminium shell.

Square peg of modem won't fit into round hole of PC? I saw to it, bloke tells horrified mate


Re: Sounds to me like ...

... and that's why they call them hacksaws

Lars Ulrich makes veiled threats of another Metallica album during web chat with Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff


Re: Harsh

Yes, Death Magnetic was a very welcome return to form for them. Still has a little cruft that could do with being trimmed.

Still prefer listening to the new up and coming bands these days though - they still have the ambition, hunger and drive to produce bloody good music.

(Currently listening to some Those Damn Crows and will follow up with some Blackballed)

Microsoft decrees that all high-school IT teachers were wrong: Double spaces now flagged as typos in Word


Re: It may be a US "standard", but...

Geoffery W wrote: not the zombie apocalypse, or the ribbon interface.

The two are separate entities?

Star's rosette orbit around our supermassive black hole proves Einstein's Theory of General Relativity correct


Re: Spirograph

No, s/he just plays dice. (and the occasional very good hand of poker)

Virtually – no – actually borked: We'd slap ailing ATM's 'OK' button but it's probably against government guidance

Thumb Up

"... leaking memory like an incontinent baboon on a waltzer."

Thanks for providing that line. I'm going to make certain I use it in any analysis documentation from now onwards.

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?


Re: I'd have gone for Risk!!

Well, to be fair, it could be referring to an invasion of 1066 people called Norman.

It's time to track people's smartphones to ensure they self-isolate during this global pandemic, says WHO boffin


What we need, before we start tracking individuals by use of phones that they may, or may not, have with them is a consistent method of testing and reporting infection and mortality rates across the globe.

For example, Italy's mortality rate is so high because everyone who dies that is infected with CoV-19 is recorded as having died of the disease rather than the true cause of death.

As it stands at the moment, all this comparison of how well or how badly countries are doing in the fight against the virus is comparing apples with oranges.

Tinfoil hat brigade switches brand allegiance to bog paper


Wiping my arse with War and Peace has completely ruined my Kindle though!

Sadly, the web has brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'nothing is true; everything is permitted'


Re: "...could I borrow $60 (US) via PayPal..."

You are Arthur Jackson, and I claim my $60 (US)

What's inside a tech freelancer's backpack? That's right, EVERYTHING


Re: unpacking order...

No, Cable Ties, Rubber Gloves and Duck Tape are all for holding your Duck together when it splits.

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


Re: Seems a bit cheap

Mines so wide, I'm providing the parking space for all of Boeing's 737-MAX fleet.

Aww, a cute mini-moon is orbiting Earth right now. But like all good things, it too will abandon us at some point


Re: Aliens!

Oh freddled gruntbuggly,

Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning)

As plurdled gabbleblotchits, in midsummer morning

On a lurgid bee,

That mordiously hath blurted out,

Its earted jurtles, grumbling

Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]

Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,

Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,

And living glupules frart and stipulate,

Like jowling meated liverslime,

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes,

And hooptiously drangle me,

With crinkly bindlewurdles,mashurbitries.

Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,

See if I don't!

... the one with the poetry book in the pocket please.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to save data from a computer that should have died aeons ago


Re: Hybrid children watch the sea

In my first job working in Ops back in the dim mists of time (OK, OK, mid 90's) we had a naming convention that all the Servers would be named after male Star Trek characters, and all the Routers, Modems, Mulitplexers, etc. would be named after female Star Trek characters.

Except for the router we had up in the North East, which for reasons of linguistic piss taking was called WAYAYMAN . :)

Flat Earther and wannabe astronaut killed in homemade rocket


Re: Seems a bit cheap

... or as folks have commented elsewhere, he didn't manage to prove whether the Earth was flat or not, but he did manage to prove that it is very, very hard.

RIP Mr Hughes. Whilst I might not agree with your Flat Earth exposition, the world needs more contrary nutjobs that are prepared to push the boundaries, if only to get the rest of us thinking.

I'm sorry, Elon. I'm afraid I can't do that... SpaceX touts robo-rides for orbital vacations, lift-off in 2021-ish


Re: "The crew will spend up to five days in space without visiting the International Space Station"

Remember the Wollowitz zero gravity waste disposal system...

C'mon SPARCky, it's just an admin utility update. What could possibly go wrong?


I guess I could RISC one or two.

MWC now means 'Mobiles? Whatever! Coronavirus!' as Ericsson becomes latest to pass on industry shindig


Re: They needed an "extensive internal risk assessment" ?

The figures from the CDC still show the mortality rate at around 2.04%


This article gives a fairly good, measured analysis of the outbreak and what it might mean leading into the future...


BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer


"Yes, but how would we know that you didn't pick up a couple of dusty old relics at a car boot sale?" the Boss asks.

"Just tell your wife and sister-in-law not to go car-boot-sale-ing that weekend," the PFY chips in.

Bollocks. New keyboard time.

Now, where did I put that requisition order for a nice shiny Steelseries Apex Pro?

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance


Works best on the users I tend to find ...

LastPass stores passwords so securely, not even its users can access them


Re: Seems a bit cheap

When they changed to subscription only, that's when I jumped ship. Now use BitWarden ... not quite as bull featured, but does exactly what I need it to. And it's free. And you can self-host if you're really paranoid about security.

I caught Disco Elysium fever. No, not the Saturday Night kind. I was really quite poorly


Couldn't agree more with the comments made in this review.

Whilst it's a beautifully realised world and concept, and something that [i]should[/i] have been right up my alley (being a full-on 100% RPG nerd) there's just [i]something[/i] about the whole thing that's put me off playing it after around a couple of hours through sheer boredom.

As a case in point, I'm now back to re-playing the venerable Baldur's Gate series as a precursor to BG3 being released next year (or year after, let's be honest) and thoroughly enjoying the experience (again).

Jet2 hacker who deleted every account on UK company's domain cops 5 months in jail


I'm surprised that no-one else has commented on this, but given the scale of what he did, doesn't 10 months in Chokey seem a little ... lenient? Especially given that he'll serve, at most, half of that.

Hate speech row: Fine or jail anyone who calls people boffins, geeks or eggheads, psychology nerd demands


Re: Hmm

I think we passed the Parody Inversion Point a long time ago.


Re: Free speech is offensive by definition.

Virtue signalling and feigned outrage ... it's the new Rock 'n Roll


She then embarked on a “contextual analysis of literature” and decided that calling someone a boffin was equivalent to the worst racial slurs. "The N-word was common parlance in the UK until at least the 1960s,” she said during her book launch, before noting that "other insulting slurs about age, disability, religion and gender identity remained in widespread use until relatively recently.”

Personally, I find this statement from her highly insulting and disgusting. Comparing our treasured epithets to racial slurs simply devalues the negativity of racial slurs (and slurs in general).

Frankly, everything in this article shows that Dr Falck has many personal issues with dealing with those of (lesser, greater)? intelligence than herself, and should probably go see a shrink to work them out.

Remember the phrase from the original bible (sorely mistranslated over the years) "... and the geek shall inherit the earth!". And Lo! in the 21st Century we have done so, and continue to multiply. Long may it be so.

Geek and proud of it for nearly 50 years!

InLink Limited limited: Firm that puts up UK's ad-supported phone booths enters administration


Makes sense. Didn't realise that they offered free calls.


Ah. That now makes more sense.


Many local authorities refused permission for the InLink booths due to their association with criminality — specifically the drug trade.

So, what's the difference between a traditional BT Phonebooth and the InLink booths that would merit this reason for rejecting planning permission? I mean, it's been many years since I last had call to use a public phone, but last I recall, a BT payphone didn't require any form of registration or proof of ID so would be just as susceptible to this form of use.

Genuinely curious...

[... and just pipped to the post by the previous poster :) ]

Register Lecture: Can portable atomic clocks end UK dependence on GNSS?


Re: end UK dependance on GPS?

I was just about to ask the same question.

I always thought that the whole purpose of having the signals beamed from satellites was that you could triangulate from the three known coordinates, and the only reason for the clock signals was to measure the tiny variances in the time taken for the signals to reach the receiver.

So how does having your own portable clock absolve the need for the satellite signals? How doe the unit triangulate?

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light


Re: Speed of light

Ah, you're confusing the speed of light with the speed of a Spherical Sheep in a Vacuum

'Literally a paperweight': Bose users fume at firmware update that 'doesn't fix issues'


Re: There’s a reason people say

Update the firmware on it and it might become an actual brick :)

Physicists are rather giddy after creating a rare type of laser using laughing gas


... but can it be used to make a nice, hot, cup of tea?

Labour: Free British broadband for country if we win general election


In other news, we're also all going to get a free Unicorn each, and our farts will smell of Rainbows and Candy-floss.

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'


Yes, but the SMELL? ...

(and it'll only get worse when they start to decompose)

Huygens if true: Dutch police break up bulletproof hosting outfit and kill Mirai botnet


Re: Seems a bit cheap

Could've been worse ... poster could have linked the Daily Mail.

Rebel Galaxy Outlaw: Well, lookie here! For once a space game that doesn't promise the universe


I'd deperately love to see a modern remake of Independence War 2.


Absolutely. Especially when you consider that it's been released on pretty much every single platform ever produced!



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