Posts by Bigpatc

Student software finds new Minor Planet found way out beyond Pluto

Thats not a minor planet...

It's a space station. My money is on Babyon 4.

Lester Haines: RIP

All of Ohio will miss you

I think Ohio will stop doing stupid and go down the straight and narrow. Just kidding. I have been reading for 15 years and you have been keeping me ahead of my neighbors and the machines. RIP. You are missed.

Dell gives up on vWorkspace virtual desktops

VWorkspace = Quest

Big fact fail in the article. Quest built Vworkspace and Dell acquire the product with the quest acquisition. Wyse makes thin clients and did not offer a full VDI solution.

Brit censors endure 10-hour Paint Drying movie epic

Waiting for the R18 version...

50 Shades of Gray, Drying...

Star Wars tie in...

TaunTuan in a Blizzard. It will make mellions..

Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Mow this...

...my birth cry will be the sound of every phone on this planet ringing in unison.

Ow! My sperm!

Obligatory Willy Wonka Reference

Look at me, I'm gonna be be the first person in the world to be sent by television!

Seems like a lot of work just to tweet my junk...

Wheels come off parents' plan to dub sprog 'Mini Cooper'

Horaceson

My wife used to deal with folks that needed some "parenting help" from the state. Best baby name ever was Horaceson, "Because I'm a whore and he's my son". Fortunately his birth certificate was replaced when he was adopted and he has a nice normal name.

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Virtual Ears...

If a tree falls in the forest and crushes some dudes in VR goggles, does the giant disembodied ear still hear it?

Oculus Pr0N

Look son, even the boobies are bigger in VR.

Oculus Pr0n

Where even the wood is in 3D.

Oculus Rift

Now your vacation videos can be boring in 3D!

WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Another

"New telepresence system with advanced eye-tracking technology"

Thank you Intel

"Intel installed a Targeting System in my Double Barreled Slingshot"

Average enterprise 'using 71 services vulnerable to LogJam'

Logjammin'

Staring Carl Hungus, Bunny Lebowski and your SMTP relay. "I'm here to fix your cipher."

The Dude Abides

Mars needs women, claims NASA pseudo 'naut: They eat less

Looking the wrong way...

Small women are the wrong choice here. You need some fat world of warcraft slobs. Content sitting motionless for 18 hours day and subsisting on the lowest quality nutrients you can buy, they carry their reserve calorie storage as part of the package. Bulky exercise equipment is not required. And as reproduction is not in their future, cosmic rays are not a big concern. Stock the ship with Mountain Dew and Cheetos and set it loose. You can even burn the excess methane for a little extra kick.

Yep, I said it...

Google's Nest gobble: Soon ALL your HOME are BELONG to US

Ads on my nest dial

Perhaps I could live with ads for sweaters and insulation contractors on my thermostat dial, but the day I see an ad for a divorce attorney, I'll know what's been going on in my house...

James Bond's 'shaken not stirred': Down to trembling boozer's hands, claim boffins

Only needs to find a match

With a license to kill, finding a new liver is much less challenging. Find a good match and go for the head shot. Bottoms up!

Dubya: I introduced PRISM and I think it's pretty swell

I have a friend in Nigeria

I am in contact with a gentleman in Nigeria that seems to have money to burn. Perhaps they could reach a mutually beneficial arrangement. 28 Million dollars should cover a few plane tickects and Julian can front the transfer fee from the couch cushions he is sleeping on. Does Mr. Snowden have a public email address or should I send it to [e-mail] and let the NSA route it to him?

PC

Sysadmins: Let's perch on Microsoft Santa's lap, show him our wish list

The only real solution for VDI licensing...

The simplest and perhaps the best solution for VDI licensing is to create an OS-CAL, similar to the existing RDS-CAL. The OS-CAL would grant a named user the right to use any Microsoft OS for company business. Let us decide on the back end whether to use Windows 8, Terminal Services or XP, physical or virtual to support that user. Then business has a fixed cost per employee to budget for the OS and I don't have to worry if what I am doing is legal or not.

Saucy Star Wars strip show - sorry, burlesque - to tour Down Under

I'm ready to give in to the Dark Side

That Darth PVC has an open invitation to check out my LightSaber(tm)...

The Higgs boson search continues ... into ANOTHER dimension

BFG

I am ready with my BFG to kick some trans-dimensional butt. Any cacodemons sighted yet?

SD

Reader experts thrash LOHAN's mighty rod

Eliminate the back plate

Eliminate the back plate entirely. Saves weight and is unnecessary. Use 2 L irons to space the rod from the Truss, on at the rear and one at the end of the guide tube on the plane. A stronger connection than just the endpoint.

Pat

'Occupy Wherever' movement goes transgalactic

Occupy Coruscant

The 99% do not have midichlorians.

LOHAN to suck mighty thruster as it goes off, in a shed

HALTERTOP

High Altitude Low Temperature Engine Rehearsal Terrestrial Observation Panel

Every LOHAN needs a HALTERTOP

Here lies /^v.+b$/i

Amiga Homage

Software Failure

Guru Mediation

End of Line

DROP DATABASE Stob_Verity;

Mac Lion's breath causes Celerra NAS storage to die

Affecting Enterprise Customers

I know of one 5000+ company enjoying the FAIL today. How often do you patch your NAS?

US gov mulls issuing terrorist warnings on Twitter, Facebook

OMG - TERROR

My company blocks twitter! How will i know if alQeda is in my undershorts? I think it is really a solution to fix the federal budget. If Charlie Sheen gets $4000 a tweet, think about the ads around "Terror Imminent Subway". Can you say 5$ footlong anyone?

F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user

A salami under one arm and a weiner dog under the other.

There's a Linux penguin, a fanboi, and a Windows luser in a plane, and the pilot says, we're carrying too much weight, one of you has got to go, and the fanboi says, well, I can't jump because...

The penguin said he would jump after he updated his will. Being unable to decide between Emacs and VI he was parylzed.

The fanboi, lacking a crowd of lemmings to follow, was unable to find the exit.

The Windows user had his critical system files deleted by McAfee and was stuck at a grey screen.

As the plan neared the ground suddenly someone leaped to action. As the pilot left the plane he cursed the load of idiots so enamored with their toys that they forgot to live in the real world as the aircraft spiraled to the ground and burst into flame.