Posts by supermeerkat

Ridley Scott confirmed for Blade Runner pre/sequel

This'll be a dissapointment I tells ya, a dissapointment....

Given the decades of fanwanking that have grown up around this movie.

Beeb names new Who companion

Bah!

I don't hold with this new fangled Doctor Who with, young sexy people in it. I want mature gentlemen who a lived an interesting life playing the Doctor. I don't want wan looking waifs as assistants / romantic interest for the Doctor. Why would the Doctor start fancying humans anu

Grumble grumble. Bring back Tom Baker and Sarah Jane.

Clangers creator dies at 83

Thanks for the wonderful memories Mister Postgate...

you created some of the most memorable of my childhood entertainment.

Intel badmouths Jesus Phone

Where are the Macbots?

I long for their feedback.

Judge Dredd smartshell shotguns to hit Iraq in '09

Ammo

And Judge Dredd's gun never ran out of ammo, unless plot dictated. I wonder if DARPA will add that particular functionality.....

Chrome-fed Googasm bares tech pundit futility

Chrome is better than

Jesus covered in slice bread, and anyone who says otherwise smells of elderberries and has a hamster for a mother.

World+Dog predicts new iPods, Macs imminent

re: Still waiting for an iPhone Nano

"The original one [iPod Touch] is an iPhone really, despite what the article says."

No it isn't an iPhone, as it doesn't contain a phone. C'mon think: tt's not rocket science.

NHS IT loses key contractor

I start working for the NHS...

...on Monday 2nd June on this project. Things'll balance out nicely: Fujitsu leaves, and I start.

Nothing can possibly go wrong. Nothing.

Russell T Davies bows out of Doctor Who

at last...

Praise be to RTD for bringing back the good Doctor with Chris Ecclestone.

But RTD needs to go - his increasingly cloying, overly sentimental, generic, American style sci-fi is becoming increasingly threadbare. Also his ability to extract ham from talented actors and over reliance on the sonic screwdriver is painful.

All it needs is for Tenant, Tate and Piper to go and I might start watching it again.

Website in 'Apple to launch 3G iPhone at WWDC' allegation shock

In other news...

...Pope catholic, bear spotted in forests.

SMS costs more than using Hubble Space Telescope

Boffin?

Why does this site, like many others, use Boffin to refer to scientists or technical specialist? It smacks of the tabloids and low rent channel 5 science shows. Come on, and use proper titles, it won't hurt and people will think better of you.

It's also the start of a slippery slope in tabloid-esque euphemisms, like the use of "guzzled", "feasted", "mocked", "tot" and "manhood".

'Great tits cope well with warming'

What does Frank have to say?

http://www.derbydeadpool.co.uk/images/celebs/c/crawfm.jpg

Grand Theft Auto 4 queue man stabbed in head

@Phil Hare

Actually, it's "rip off someone's head" rather than "cut off someone's head".

I'll get my blood stained coat.

Carphone Warehouse cleared out of 8GB iPhones

Mmmmm 3G iPhone...

...there is no supporting evidence for one, but I hope it's true. I'd be the happiest boy in the world with a 32Gb 3G iPhone, and if it had GPS my nipples would explode with delight....

Sky One to resurrect Blake's 7?

Aurac was a fishtank filled with fairy lights....

...and the teleportation bracelets looked like they were made on Blue Peter, which is ironic considering there was an episode of Blue Peter where they showed you how to make one.

Anyone remember Servalan(sp?) struggling over grim looking sand dunes, on the south coast of England in November, whilst wearing a ball gown and high heels?

This thread has bought back many memories of how bad B7 was first time round. Must be me getting old and cynical.....

Arrrgghhh!

Has anyone watched the original Blake's 7 recently? As a creation of Terry "Daleks" Nation, IMHO it suffered from his minimal writing abilities: poor characterisation, camp and stiltied dialog, and badly executed, but potentially interesting ideas.

As has already been noted, the premise of the show has been covered many times in far better, high budget, American shows: a Sky production wouldn't stand a chance against them.

Best left alone, methinks.

The iPhone learns to read

520 eh?

Sweary is it? Can anyone expand on that?

Area 51 drug test victim crashes flying car

Whatever happened to trust?

People are so suspicious nowadays!

Assyrian clay tablet points to 'Sodom and Gomorrah' asteroid

I'd say a religous nut is...

...a religious type, usually protestant, who is one or more of the following closeminded, generally intolerant, right wing, homophobic, creationists, anti-evolution, believers in bible inerrancy, American etc etc

Is there nothing asteroids can't do?

So, not only did an asteroid kill off the dinosaurs, it created Christian sexual guilt.

If wonder if the religious nuts will jump on this...

...and use it as further "proof" of the accuracy of the bible, whilst ignoring all of the other inaccuracies, contradictions and general non-sensical elements.

32nd Carry On film is go

The comedy god that is "Ricky Gervais" needs to be there...

...and Karl Pilkington.

suggestions for participants part 2

Jo Brand

Vic Reeves

Bob Mortimer

Frankie Boyle

Phil Jupitus

Jack Dee

Paul Merton

Fred McCaulay

And the following people should be kept away, using guns if required:

French & Saunders

Lenny Henry

Freddie Star

Joe Pasquali

Ant & Dec

Catherine Tate (talentless waste of DNA)

1&1 says sorry to one in ten

What a surprise

They're a useless bunch of wankers.

They have failed to provide me with an apology of explanation for my site going down for 6 days last september, or indeed this year. I've had less than their advertised 99.99% uptime.

Tech support consists of VOIP connections to foreign agents of varying english speaking ability.

Simple faults that should have been quickly resolved have only been fixed after many calls and tens of minutes on hold.

A choice selection of user problems with 1and1 can be found here: "http://www.evilscience.co.uk/?cat=8

P.S. Can anyone recommend a UK based ASP.NET hosting service that isn't 1and1?

Road charging, the sequel - Kelly unveils 'wired m-way' plans

Isn't there a "US-style" system they can copy....

Is it just me, but whenever the Government talks about implementing some kind of plan or policy, it's always a "US-style" plan. Like "US-style policing", "US-style education", "US-style justice" etc etc

Bloke takes missus up the Oxo Tower

These may well be the greatest reviews...

...ever penned by humanity. It's made my day. But then I am puerile.

Paul Burrell pulls website amid 'hate mail' blitz

Paul Burrel

has been blatantly cashing in on Di's legacy for the better part of a decade; at least once a year he has some new secret to reveal, some new fact. Professing love and respect for Diana, and crassly invading her (not to mention her children's) privacy etc etc

I don't like Diana or Burrel, and now that she's dead she should be left alone and Burrel should just fuck off.

Dildo rails dirty? Help is at hand

What if it's a cleaning job for Ann Summers?

Well, what if it is?

Germans send teen tearaway to Siberia

It's a shame the UK authorities can't do the same

for those little bastards that roam the streets of Manchester. I would gladly assist the government by paying for the airfare of the vermin that mugged me in December 2007.

Apple tells iPhone vendors not to reveal sales figures

@Alastair Dodd

How can people who purchase something of their own free will be described as "bumraped"?

If Job's hung around Apple shops and force people at knife point to buy his phone that metaphor might just work.

Aussies whip out their a*se antlers

Who is this Mother Tongue?

She sounds sexy!

Dearly departed to heat Manchester crematorium

When my dad finally kicks the bucket...

...there's no way he'd want to provide comfort to the living. He'd much prefer to provide discomfort, as he does in life. He'd probably want a handful of his ashes to be flung in the face of each person attending the service. Miserable sod.

Solar Cycle 24 is go: Official

I wonder what Nostradamus had to say about this?

Surely someone must have dug out one of his nonsensical verses filled with vague metaphor, and interpreted it as being related to this solar activity cycle.

Come tin foil hat brigade, we're all waiting for more "proof" of Nostradamus's brilliance.....

Macworld invites kiddies to 'Make Bouncy Bouncy'

Did you know the afore mentioned watchdog is presided over by

Mary Hinge and Betty Swollocks?

Google to reinvent UK newspaper biz

Engurlund swings like a pendulum do...

...Bobbies on bicycles, two by two Westminster Abbey, the tower of Big Ben The rosy red cheeks of the little children...

'Tis a loverly song. <Wipes away a tear>

Microsoft readies Hal 9000

at least you know where you stand with HAL...

...and if he reports problems with the AE35 antennae, don't go, or if you really feel the need for a look don't go first, and remember your helmet!

UK gov sets rules for hacker tool ban

@Dave

"They are fascist, authoritarian and they make me and a lot of people sick with disgust at what they have done to this country."

Can you expand on what you mean by "facist"?

Gollum to play Haddock in Tintin

@Andrew Moore

Yeah, I'm pleased to see Moffat writing this: he's written some of the best episodes of the new series of Doctor Who.

However, I'm not sure about Andy Serkis as Captain Haddock - I imagine a bigger, burlier man like Brian Blessed or whathisname who played Gimlin in Lord of the Rings.

Kylie wraps herself round Dalek

Can we have a dalek / exterminate icon

please?

Frenchman calculates 13th root of 200-digit number

Herbert B de Grote!

<nelson>Ha ha!</nelson>

Labour hit by another anonymous donor scandal

They gave, so what might the Government give them?

Lucrative contracts for public services operations? A greenlight on building houses in green belts? Knighthoods?

But wait, I'm being cynical. They gave the government large sums of money and expected nothing in return.

Google Book Search reveals scanner's sleight of hand

She appears to be wearing finger condoms....

The mind boggles.

DHS building handheld lobster spy-beam scanners

Salvador Dali would be proud.

I was hoping for genuine lobsters, used in the same way sniffer dogs are. That'd make for a fine, surreal site at the airport: lobsters on leads, peering intently at things to see if they contain contraband.

Now, if we could use 'em for telephonic communications I'd be one happy meerkat.

Two UK web hosts go down

AJAX

I was enquiring if they had the AJAX .net controls installed on their windows servers, or whether they could be installed by a user.The morons I spoke to seemed unsure as to what AJAX was.

1and1? Bollocks, more like.

I have the misfortune of using 1and1 for hosting - in a 14 day period I have had 5 days of downtime, been kept on hold by disinterested support personnel for hours at a time, given conflicting advice on whether they support AJAX and was suprised to find out that AJAX is only supported on Linux Servers.

To call them useless is a complement.

http://www.evilscience.co.uk/?cat=8

Rose Tyler beams back into Doctor Who

New doctor

"Finally, if they need a new doctor, can we get away from these angst-ridden 30-somethings and have a good old traditional curmudgeon in the role please?"

Damn straight. I agree with that! What about a more quirky actor, someone like Richard E. Grant or perhaps Eddie Izzard?

Bloody hell

I really didn't like Billie Piper, she was dominating Series 2 to the point of making the Doctor a secondary character. David Tenan'ts Doctor Who is mediocre with moments of inspiration, but with Billie Piper it fell into cheap, cloying soap opera.

The presence of Catherine Tate is enough to make think twice about watching series 4, but with the return of Billie "Talent Vacuum, Hamster Face, Limited Acting Ability" Piper, I will not be watching it.

/Stalks off to find a Patrick Troughton DVD to watch.

Lily Allen 'in talks' to become Doctor Who's assistant

For the love of god

The Sun has a proven track record of being wrong. Don't encourage them.

Woman bites boyf in wedding tackle

@Cor

If she had taken him literally, she would have bitten his (female) dog.

for a more misleading title...

...how about "woman bites 'man's meat and two veg'"?