* Posts by Mark

6 posts • joined 29 May 2007

eBayers fail to bite amazing penis-shaped crisp


Not unusual since...

My girlfriend tends not to bite my amazing penis shaped penis.

Paris Hilton dragged back into court


Too Harsh

C'mon chaps and ladies,

You're all being too harsh on poor Paris Stilton.

Yes she did commit a crime but she does have a very compact arse, and a mental age of about 3. She probably doesn't fully understand what's going on and also isn't it illegal to send a minor to prison?

If she were put into a proper prison wing then I doubt she'd be able to protect herself from the onslaught of womenly loving bound to erm, come her way. I dread to think of her dropping her soap in the showers, bending down amongst the 'women of the pie'.... and all without a video camera. It'd be a missed opportunity.

Three cheers for Ms Hilton! She fought the law, and the law, erm, lost. Back to photoshop and loveinawomensprison.com....

Humane Society gets firmer with Amazon's cocks


You can stick your cocks up your arses

I'm sick of movements like this. I'm really fed up of organisations forcing people to live based on *their* view of life. Religion, health organisations and animal groups fall into this grouping. Look at PETA (an org that actually kills a lot of animals) - do as we say and live as we want you to live or we'll firebomb you, and we'll get a load of dumb-ass students to fire bomb you too.

There was a programme aired on C4 a while back about global warming. I think it was called 'The great global warming scam' or something like that. It was a great documentary where a lot of top scientists were expressing concern that their viewpoints - that global warming has nothing to do with CO2 emissions - are being ignored by governments. In some cases these scientists have been refused funding and have been threatened by these 'Green', flowerpower nutjobs.

If I have a cock, and I wish to watch it strike against another mans cock until bloodshed then I agree that's a bit wrong. For the record I also don't fancy fox hunting much - a pack of dogs savages a fox (nip to any town centre on a sat night and you can see this for real).

I want to know why all these debates are closed? Why is the (UK) government forcing *their* opinions onto us. They are out of touch within their little job-security, rape-the-tax-payer bubble. Why is the government forcing all these new CO2 taxes/schemes upon us when the global warming link to CO2 *has not been proven*. In fact the opposite has been proven.

People should be free and organisations should stop 'demanding' that people live under their control. Fair enough, if you have a problem with a lifestyle then say so, but it's wrong to forcibly revoke someones cock. If they want to buy a magazine about cocks then they'll find a way to do so.

Personally I prefer fanny.

Project over-runs make US IT workers scared for their jobs



I've worked in so many different companies and on different projects (as a contractor) and, looking-in as an external resource the problems are quite similar in every company.

I think IT workers, be they proj managers, developers, testers etc should be treated a bit more harshly. There are so many of these people leeching off skilled staff - they only survive by draining the time and energies of people genuinely skilled in their jobs.

Then there are people who've established a 'niche' skillset within their company, and they write some code or become specialised in a product etc. The problem is then that these people show aggression towards sharing their skillset/knowledge with others. For example, I worked at a place where new scripts for monitoring production servers could not be activated because the only resource in the company who could activate a middleware program they'd written (to pump data into netcool) decided to take holiday at very short notice. That delayed the project for a week!

The thing that annoys me the most is outsourcing - to both UK contract resource and abroad - to people who really can't do the job. These people then come into a company and earn a significant margin over the permanent staff who they rely on to do the job for them. Another company I worked for (when I was a permie) opted for bringing in resource, in fact a flood of Test Analcysts. These people basically created spreadsheets of dates from existing mpp plans. And that was it. They didn't actually do any of the work. So the company increased its project load and the permie staff took a hammering, which is one of the reasons I left.

Another is managers with political agendas. I was involved with interviewing outsourced staff for a certain project and, after about 9 interviews we had nothing. Then we found that the outsourcing company had an account manager on the interviews to 'coax' the interviewee's... then we also found that the candidates seemed to have pre-versed answers to our questions, so we changed the questions without informing our (Indian) manager and the candidates struggled like anything.

Eventually I was taken out of the interview loop and, suprise suprise a week later outsourced resourced flooded in (Indian), and there have been complaints about them ever since.

This post probably makes me sound like a right barsteward, but I'm just relaying my experiences!

In my opinion companies seem to focus on the wrong things.

To me the resource of a company is like a turd. A turd that contains gold nuggets on a small ratio of corn nuggets vs poo. A company should not focus on increasing the poo-matter, instead it should focus on digging the sweetcorn out of the turd and reducing the overall mass of the poo. In this way golden nuggets can achieve whilst the restraining poo can be chopped off.

All too often the sweetcorn within the resource turd is left to be overwhelmed.

Directgov publishes online wish list


Great idea

What a great idea! Virtual MOT's! They should implement a paper-based self-assessment MOT first for proof of concept...

They should stick a web cam in lessons so that students can learn from home. I'm sure it'll boost the amount of students who attend PE lessons.

It seems that everything is becoming IT'ized. It makes out life lazy, not really easy. Fair enough for disabled people and retards, but for those people blessed with limbs there's not really an excuse. I'd much rather take a walk and meet people, and I'm sure they'd much rather meet me, unless it was a day when I went commando (wearing nought but a long mac).

We'll all become fat social outcasts with personality problems. Dealing with txt on a screen is a lot different than dealing with people in real life. People may use web services to retreat into themselves, forsaking a social life for their forum 'chums' and virtual sex life. Well, virtual in every respect excluding their w*nking sock.

My brother met two girls on the internet and went out with them. Both were mental.

My girlfriend is scared to pick up the phone and make a call. Although that's more to do with the voices than a social problem.

Back to the post. Good ideas, but a worry that society is becoming very lazy. Last night I was hungry so rather than walk down the road for a pizza I ordered one through my tv (television, not transvestite). Social isolation is a growing problem. I blame Microsoft.

Endemol in 'win a kidney' TV show rumpus


No Problem

I don't see what all the fuss is about.

A dying women has decided to give up her kidney, a group of ill people (probably retarded too) have decided they want it and a scumbag tv company has decided to wrap it up in a gameshow format that people love to hate.

I think it's great when everybody screams about things like this and starts to preach morals. No-one is being forced to compete for the kidney. I mean what would they do - run around an assault course in the garden? Do press-ups or squats?

It's obviously a bad idea for a tv program - with the only angle being human suffering. People should vote with their tv remotes.

I think the Big Brother format would be great for deciding the next prime minister though. Imagine Gordon Brown handling the food budget....

As for body organs etc... no government should have the right to mess with my body. F**k it, I'm selfish. When I die I will personally see to it that my kidney is so pickled with whiskey that it'll be no good to anyone.


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