Posts by Lamont Cranston

Which 10in Tab for Blighty, Samsung?

Why

is a 10 inch tablet being "offered exclusively by Vodafone"? It's not like it's going to fit in your pocket, so it'll end up tied to an expensive data plan that you don't need.

I want affordable, not subsidised.

Nintendo 3DS

A portable gaming device

aimed at children and younger adults? Good grief, where will this madness end?

Auditor to Oz PM&C: Don’t use Webmail for leaks

Are you sure about that?

I lost access to NHS.net on my home PC, 2 years ago. Could only get to it over an N3 connection, last time I tried (admittedly, this was a while ago).

Texas bank robber asked for ID

I like the idea that,

said bank robber would march up to the teller and, rather than demand all the money, requested only $800, no more, no less.

Microsoft says 'sorry' after Japan quake marketing gaffe

Rather than interpret this as a marketing technique,

I viewed this in the same way as all those "every time you forward this email, Microsoft will donate $1 to the Make A Wish Foundation" emails (that still appear to be doing the rounds) - i.e. spam.

As it's not a hoax, I'll assume that I just don't understand twitter.

App Store not invited to web's date with destiny

"Computer apps were never truly displaced by the web"

I'm not sure that this is over, yet, as I can easily imagine cloud-based apps becoming dominant in the home market (less likely in business), particularly if we all start buying tablets (or netbooks) - e.g. who needs email client software at home?

As for mobile apps, I'm not sure I really understand the point of them, when my phone has a web browser. Maybe it's my age...

Japanese earthquake sparks nuclear emergency

Isn't it oil that's made of dinosaurs,

rather than nuclear?

Three pushes UNLIMITED data to PAYG punters

Nice one!

Down goes my productivity.

Nice offer, shame 3 don't offer unlimited access to the internet.

If I point my browser at b3ta.com or cracked.com, 3 try to sell me porn. Nothing says "we want to protect the children" like dangling porn in front of them.

O2 tries to explain its new prudish nature

Good news:

he's not a paedo.

Government flies kite for VAT changes

Tax is a protection racket?

Really? Should we do away with it, and let society be run on the goodwill of others? That'll end well, I'm sure.

Yeah, yeah,

all the established banks will upsticks and leave if they're asked to pay tax. Are you George Osbourn?

http://gu.com/p/2nf8n

Health experts flip over McD's burger-flip toy

Yes,

let's dictate what people eat. While we're at it, we'll tell them what to wear, what to watch on TV and where to go on holiday.

Or we could just educate people, and let them make informed choices?

With all this stress over other people's problems,

you probably have quite high blood pressure. You should calm down, before you add more pressure on the NHS. It's your civic duty.

Yes,

if you never give kids what they want (ever), then they are sure to grow into well rounded (no pun intended), confident individuals, who conform precisely to your view of the world.

The chances of them going totally of the rails, because "Mummy and Daddy don't love me," must be slim to none.

iPhone to whup Sony PSP 2

As the only portable device for "serious" gaming,

it'll pick up a small but devoted following, until Sony realise just how small this following is and abandon it.

Lynx/Game Gear vs Gameboy, again, and Nintendo will win (again).

Shame, really, as it's exactly the sort of thing that I would have lusted after, when I was 13.

iPad 2? Let's be kind and call it iPad 1.5

Or,

you could buy a camera, which would probably fit in your pocket and be relatively unobtrusive when in use, and a book to pass the time.

What's that? You're made of money? OK, carry on.

Turn your mobile phones in to a live gig speaker

Better still:

the band can strut about on stage, pretending to play, and the attendees can listen to their latest album through their phones.

In fact, why not just skip the whole "going out" part, altogether?

TONIGHT, live at YOUR HOUSE: a CD you bought, yesterday.

(please provide your own mud and overpriced beer in a plastic cup)

BT Home Hub 3 ADSL Wi-Fi router

It's not a requirement that you install the software

that is bundled with the HomeHub.

I use mine with both Windows and Linux (wireless and wired), and have not installed any of BT's software, as the web-based frontend (bthomehub.home) works fine.

The bundled software is hand-holding bloat, that no one needs (my mother-in-law has it on all of here PCs/laptops, and it is slow and useless, and has never acheived anything).

Still, I wouldn't expect the BT sales droids to understand this - I've had one explaining to me that I really should go for their Infinity package (only £1.64 extra per month!), despite the fact that a) they'd need to tear a hole in my house just to replace the phone socket and b) I'm moving out (I'll probably get a much better deal when I become a new customer again).

Doner kebab saves bloke's life

The Sun

has a reading age of 7 (so I've been told by members of the teaching profession). It's not written for intelligent, articulate types.

Starbucks' iPhone barcode app easily scammed by screengrab

Really?

On the rare occassion that I'm in the branch near work, I get confused looks from the staff when I ask for an extra shot of espresso (I like my latte to taste of coffee, not hot milk); even then, it's still piss weak. Kevin Day described their coffee as "homeopathic," and I'm inclined to agree with him.

Don't even think about getting an iced coffee from them, either, as that really is brown milk (but mixed with ice!) - they don't even brew a shot to put in, just pull a bottle of pre-flavoured milk from the fridge. Yuk.

Kid spanks a grand on Xbox using Mum's bank card

I don't think she should get her money back,

but I would like to see Microsoft (and everyone else) change their practices so that you cannot make repeat purchases on a saved credit card without some further authorisation.

I had money taken off my debit card (by my own father!) after failing to realise that Amazon doesn't have a log off function. I know better, now (my debit card stay off-line, and I put nothing through his malware infested PC), but how many people know about clearing their cookies, etc.?

Standard rant about an unsupervised child having access to an online account, naturally, but can't she just send it all back for a refund?

Punters 'pooh-pooh video on demand'

I have BT Vision

and rarely use the On Demand service (2 films, and 1 episode of Ben 10 in the past 4 years). Series I really want to see get recorded (most are on after 9pm, and I can rarely be bothered to stay up past 10pm), but for me (and, I suspect, most 30-somethings) TV is a passive medium - i.e. I'll plonk down in front of it and let it wash over me, often whilst talking or reading, activities which will get the most of my attention, only paying attention to the TV if something interesting comes on.

My kids seem keener on watching what they want, when they want (probably because they're all under 5, and haven't discovered patience), but that's far more likely to come off YouTube (or Megaupload) than BT Vision, as I really don't see any value in paying for TV.

ISPs and Vaizey set to bump heads over default porn filter

Ugh.

"ISPA’s view is that the most effective way to control children and young people’s access to content on the Internet is through parental control software."

That seems reasonable. I'm pretty sure that my DVD-player has a parental control option, but I've never needed it, as my kids don't get unmonitored access to it (or the DVD collection). Likewise, I'll let them on the PC, under my supervision. When they're older, I'll make some effort at filtering what they can access, but not be so naive as to assume that it'll be 100% foolproof - it'd be like asking boys to not look at the top shelf in the newsagents.

Parental responsibility, what a crazy notion.

"parents can be too busy, or uninterested and sometimes not even literate" - no excuse for the first two, the third is just depressing.

Photo loss blogger to Flickr: You're f*cking kidding

To everyone getting angry:

By my reading of it, the article makes no mention of the user having his own backups, so you'd only glean this information by clicking one of the linked articles.

My reaction to the article was along the lines of "So what, he must have backups." From the comments here (I didn't read any of the linked articles, either), I gather that the problem is not the loss of the photos, rather the structure of his blog, and the time invested in it, and the working of any links to his blog. Again, so what? If his blog was so important, maybe a free photo site wasn't the place to host it? (I may be missing something here, but I really don't care).

Gatwick Airport security swoops on 3-inch rifle

Given that

the management appear to be standing behind the decision, the conclusion that low IQs are widespread would seem to be the correct one.

Draw the line?

How about this:

If it's a real weapon, you cannot bring it on the plane.

If it could be (mis)used as a weapon, you cannot bring it on the plane.

If it could be mistaken for a real weapon (and hence utilised to make threats) you cannot bring it on the plane.

If it is obvioulsy not a real weapon, and could not be used as one, then you can bring it on.

Granted, this leaves some room for interpretation, but I'd like to imagine that those doing the security checks would have had some training (ha ha).

"you have to prove that your kid had a legitimate right to have it"

Really? Being a child isn't a legitmate reason to be in possession of a toy?

I'm glad I never travel anywhere, it hardly seems worth the hassle.

Beeb say sorry for Stephen Fry A-bomb quip

As a human being, living in a world where suffering exists,

anyone making light of anything could be taken as offensive, both to myself and to others.

Therefore, if everyone could just shut up, break the silence only to apologise to me, then to everyone else, and then shut up again, permanently, I think we can all agree that everyone would be a lot happier.

IPTV UK: failure to launch?

IPTV may well be the future but,

given that DVB still does not work as promised*, and nationwide access to "superfast" broadband isn't going to happen any time soon, I'm not going to hold my breath.

A unified platform would certainly make buying a new TV a simpler process (and save faffing about with HTPCs and the like), but is there really any appetite among consumers to refresh their equipment again, straight after the digital switchover?

Still, two fingers up to Virgin and Sky is always good.

*Yes, I have more channels, but they break up when it rains, so that's hardly a massive improvement over the old analogue signal.

Duke Nukem Forever release date revealed

Mickey Rourke,

no?

That's Schmidt: So long to the Google chief who wasn't

I suppose that the point being made

was that all of their (vast) revenue comes from adverts (ie. pointing you at other products), whilst the consumer products they produce are just window dressing.

Thus, Google make Chrome, which users love, not because Google wants you to have the best browser ever, but so that they can better serve up ads - the revenue for them comes from the ads, not the browser, which is given away for free, but the browser is the tangible product (from the end user perspective).

The disbelief that people actually click on the ads? I have that, too (same for facebook ads).

Gamers raid medical server to host Call of Duty

I don't suppose children have access to that sort of money

if daddy isn't willing to fund their gaming beyond the initial outlay. On the other hand, many children are quite PC-literate, therefore "borrowing" someone else's server is an obvious solution (albeit illegal, immoral, etc.).

Apple unwraps app store for proper computers

"Income taxes are a way of punishing citizens for earning a living."

No. No, they aren't.

Can I assume that you keep a gun about your person at all times, just in case the Commies invade?

Google revives ‘network computer’ with dual-OS assault on MS

"put corporate systems administrators out of work"

Having. A. Laugh.

Centralising IT support is a fool's game.

Are Google going to build the world's biggest ever call centre?

John Lewis pitches 80-quid colour e-book reader

Re: That old chestnut...

Good arguement, but MP3 players are much cheaper, and you can put your existing music collection on them. Had much luck ripping your old books?

Cops cuff nappy-wearing man who demanded sweets with menaces

"most of the time its intimidating toothless chavs"

No, it isn't. Do you really do buy in to the whole "children are evil and must be feared" bollocks? 'Cos that's what's undermining community cohesion, not trick-or-treat.

Top Ten Retro PC Games

I'd consider most of these games to be relatively recent.

I'm old, aren't I?

Samsung E60 e-book reader

I'd quite like an e-reader

as I no longer have space for books/bookshelves. But, at these prices, I'm better off just givng my books to charity shops once I've read them.

These things will only take off once they (or, at the very least, their downloads) are cheaper than old fashioned books.

Keene USB FM Transmitter

It's Homeplug adaters all over again,

isn't it?

Nokia E5 Qwertyphone

S60,

see bottom of 2nd page.

Sex Party proposes new classification system for Oz

What an unfortunate use of the phrase

"trickle down".

School caretaker jailed for fitting up colleague

"Your honour,

"I downloaded all of that kiddie smut, but I didn't enjoy it."

Yeah, I'm glad that didn't wash.

Steve Jobs carried 'ninja throwing stars' in hand luggage

Given that you can't take nail scissors through an airport,

how did he think he'd get away with this? Aren't shuriken illegal pretty much everywhere?

Bowers and Wilkins P5 headphones

Eh,

I rip all my music at the lowest bit-rate possible, so as to cram as much as possible onto my 4GB ZenV. I've no desire to invest in extra hard drive capacity for my home PC, either. Most of my music listening is done on the move (either through the Zen or in the car) so premium quality is a waste of time for me. I'm also not made of money.

Similarly, HD-TV strikes me as a waste of money - yes, it does look better, but not so much so that I'd feel the need to junk my telly and DVD player and re-purchase all of my films. Analogue broadcast is fine for day to day viewing, although I do appreciate the extra crispness of a well mastered DVD.

Perhaps when I retire, I'll find that I have the time to just listen to music, and the spare cash for the appropriate equipment...

Think tank rages at NHS' £700 bill for fertility clinic porn

Producing with "willpower alone" isn't that hard,

provided that your still allowed to use your hands. But, if it's a fertility clinic, surely its clients are couples trying to conceive, so why make it a solo endeavour?

Email worm wants to party like it's 1999 (almost)

Supposing you got mugged in the street,

would that be your own fault for not having a full time bodyguard?

First SMS Trojan for Android is in the wild

More informative than the snippet I caught on the radio this morning,

where the BBC journo claimed to have built his mobile malware with no knowledge of mobile programming. That he was assisted by an "application security firm" leads me to believe that writing a virus for mobiles is not quite as simple as he would make out.

Air steward resigns via emergency chute

"reckless endangerment and criminal mischief"

Was there someone at the other end of the emergency chute? Pah, leave the guy alone.

As for criminal mischief, that always puts me in mind of the Mr Men!

Wikileaks falls out with human rights groups

Really, what a nob.

But a fine example of why free speech is not without responsibilities.

Seriously, Amnesty offered to discuss the matter with him, and he releases a statement that accuses them of doing nothing (to clear up the mess he has made)?