* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1555 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Apr 2010

Sleazy Aussie 'hot babes' network goes MIA

Lamont Cranston

What's

the ladies' version of Zoo, called?

Mumsnet founder: Our members are 'very keen' on PORN ...

Lamont Cranston

My son is 4

and I do sometimes leave him unsupervised online. However, I am well aware of a) what is on the internet and b) his level of computer literacy, such that whilst I may leave him alone perusing CBeebies, I watch him like a hawk on YouTube.

It is a fact that computers are everywhere (Martha Lane Fox exists to make sure we all get online) but many people know very little about them, so I have no problem with tools being made available that could help parents regulate what their children will see online (something as simple as the 9pm watershed wouldn't work here), and ISPs are probably best placed to deliver such tools. But they must be opt in, and that is the responsibility of parents (TV doesn't turn itself off a 9 on the off chance that someone unsuitable might be watching).

None of this is difficult, nor should it be controversial.

Popular gamers 'should play for free' – Valve boss

Lamont Cranston

Who decides who's popular?

Gabe Newell, or the die-hard loonies who spend their whole lives on-line? I can probably live without the approval of either.

Much like the music industry, maybe Valve should concentrate on producing quality games, that people will be prepared to pay for? This endless shift to on-line play, subscriptions and DLC (for a extra fee), leaves me rather cold.

Nokia finally gives Ovi brand a mercy bullet

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Up

This is good.

Everything about the ovi store makes me want to throw up.

This page has been left intentionally blank

Lamont Cranston

Not that the complainant wasn't being an idiot,

but her being at home during the day hardly invalidates her opinion.

Maybe she was home because her child was sick?

Maybe she works nights?

Maybe her household income is such that she doesn't have to work?

Maybe she lost her job?

Impatient punters trade PS3s for Xbox 360s

Lamont Cranston

Kids today, eh?

Tsk.

Microsoft pledges Kinect games explosion

Lamont Cranston

I think this is why Wii/Move make more sense,

as they still give you a controller to work with. I don't really see much other than dance games working with Kinect.

Renault readies sub-£7000 e-car for Blighty

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Up

This looks like quite a good idea,

providing you live in London, or some other large city. I could even see it worthwhile as a second car, for commuting to work (my total daily mileage is just under 50).

We're still some way off proper electric cars though - my wife was looking at the Nissan Leaf at the dealer's last week, as was advised by the salesman to steer well clear.

Crucial M4 256GB Sata 3 SSD

Lamont Cranston

People expect instant-on, these days.

That's progress, like it or not. Or are you still on dial-up?

Reg ed rattles the Red-Headed League

Lamont Cranston

Red hair accompanies pale skin,

which implies weakness, thus easily overpowered.

In women, this would make them easy to impregnate, in a man, this would make them unlikely to impregnate anything.

Having typed that, it's clearly a load of bollocks - I'll bet Mick Hucknall has had plenty of opportunities to impregnate things (*shudder*) - which must mean that evolution is a load of rubbish, and the fundamentalists were right all along.

Northants cops blow up suspicious school play prop

Lamont Cranston
Joke

Back in my day,

we had propoer terrorism, like that practiced by the IRA, where they would phone up the police in advance of a bombing. Can't we persuade the jihadists to op for that?

I'm pretty sure it eliminated street crime, and allowed little old ladies to leave their doors unlocked, too.

Google floats monthly subscriptions to Chrome OS notebooks

Lamont Cranston

Coming soon:

GKettle. Like a regular kettle, but somehow better, and will only boil GWater.

GWater is £20 per litre.

Boy George promises to cut employment rights

Lamont Cranston

A Tory Chancellor

trying to stick it to the working man? Surely not...

Scrabble friends Facebook, innit

Lamont Cranston
Flame

Surely, most Scrabble-based disputes

can be resolved with reference to a dictionary (a paper one)? If it's not in the dictionary, it's not a word.

The less said about Scrabble allowing proper nouns, the better.

Google misses Russian trick with Opera snubs

Lamont Cranston

Not having Google Instant,

is one of the benefits of Opera, but I would like Google to pay a bit more respect, as Gmail doesn't play ever so nice with OperaMobile.

Alpha.gov.uk – it's nearly a beta

Lamont Cranston
FAIL

Not heard of this, so I've just given it a go,

and it directed me back to DirectGov for the information I wanted.

Supposed Anonymous hack 'unmasks members'

Lamont Cranston

What?

It's gibberish like this, that makes people fear the internet.

Pippa Middleton in $5m grumble flick offer

Lamont Cranston

"with your beauty and attitude"

Surgically enhanced and lacking in self-esteem?

Google sprays customers with cash in AdWords cockup

Lamont Cranston

Is there anybody left on the internet,

who hasn't heard this quotation before? It's the thinking man's lolcats.

PC rental store hid secret spy hardware in laptop, suit says

Lamont Cranston

I trust that if you were to sell your laptop,

or lend it to a friend, you'd at least let them know about your anti-theft measure, and show them how to disable it?

Dear Mr Beefy ex-soldier: Your BT needs you

Lamont Cranston

Nice bit of positive publicity for BT,

at least until someone does them for discrimination - or does knowing how to hold an SA-80, better qualify you as a telecoms engineer?

"Generous reward package"? Not from what I've heard.

Facebook fails webmail tests

Lamont Cranston

Facebook do email?

That's news to me.

Ohio cops taze naked marathoneer

Lamont Cranston

Tazing a naked runner?

Cops are getting soft.

Regardless of the rights/wrongs of nudity, he should have stopped when asked.

Sony brings Skype to Bravia HD TVs

Lamont Cranston

The advantage of the telephone,

was that the other person couldn't see you. Now they'll see you in HD - will there be an "enhance me in post-production" option?

Beyoncé sued over aborted videogame deal

Lamont Cranston
Happy

Same reason all the other video game related news and reviews

appear here.

Do try to keep up.

Supermarkets trounce telcos on mobile services

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Up

My thought was that it'd be the other way around,

with people just picking up a cheap, PAYG, predominantly to be use for voice calling, from Tesco, and shopping around the operator shops for anything more complicated.

Whichever it is, the operators appear to be doing a fine job of driving customers away from their stores. Places like Phones4U strike me as not being much better, so the market is likely being handed to the supermarkets on a plate.

Apple confirms white iPhone 4 on sale tomorrow

Lamont Cranston

With "BMF"

engraved on the back?

Friendster wipes data slate clean

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Down

"leverage on your online activities"

Oh, bugger off.

TomTom sorry for giving customer driving data to cops

Lamont Cranston
Jobs Horns

Just don't drive too fast.

Not that big of a deal.

-Sent from my TomTom, via my iPhone.

Google and Facebook tool up for coupons fight

Lamont Cranston

Giant mushrooms? Hotpot?

Is the Rovers Return somehow involved, too?

Sony Ericsson Xperia Play Android smartphone

Lamont Cranston

HDMI/TV-Out

I honestly don't see why this would be useful. Likewise, any sort of high-end camera functions (does anyone use a phone as anything other than a backup camera?).

I have a camera and a camcorder, which both have TV-Out, but only the camcorder ever gets hooked up to the TV, and even that's a rarity as editing footage before display is always welcome. With photos, surely you'll want to remove all the blurry, mis-timed shots before showing them to anyone?

Still, nice looking device. Maybe it'll be what the N-Gage should have been...

Dear Facebook: your privacy sucks

Lamont Cranston

Here, here.

Facebook provides a useful service to many people, so it would be nice if they could do so in a responsible fashion.

That said, I'll not be holding my breath.

Creative set to follow Cisco out of camcorders

Lamont Cranston
Happy

My Zen V+

still works, despite me dropping it onto the pavement several times. It fell to bits the last time, but it's all snapped back together and working again. I'm really rather fond of it (although, the video playback is laughable).

BBC 'would not kill off the internet even if it could'

Lamont Cranston
Coat

His iPad wouldn't connect with the big screen?

It's obviously the worst consumer product, ever. He should get a <insert alternative product of choice>, instead.

Pope says gravity proves technology can't supplant God

Lamont Cranston
Happy

Given that this was a response to

my question was around the compatablilty of faith and science, and not the existence of god, you would appear to have missed the point.

If you are Richard Dawkins, can I have £5 for spotting you?

Lamont Cranston

Am I the only one who thinks that science and religion are not mutually exclusive?

Or is this forum acting as a front for Richard Dawkins?

Google hits 'prove we killed no Afghans' – Assange™

Lamont Cranston

I wonder if he'll be able to come up with anything better

once he is extradited and put on trial? Or will the prosecution simply need to present the results of searching for "Julian Assange sexual assault" on google.se, and wait for Mr Trade Mark to confess all?

The new killer app is … MMS

Lamont Cranston
WTF?

Is he advocating MMS spam

as an advertising strategy?

It's bad enough when network operators do it (yes, I mean you, Orange), so I can't imagine a company is going to win many friends/customers with this. SMS adverts already reek of "I have your mobile numbers and am trying to steal all your personal information".

Baby Googles: The answer to the Chocolate Factory dominance?

Lamont Cranston

@BigYin

Granted, companies will always have advertising budgets, and I will inevitably consume adverts at some point, be it actively or passively. But I can live with that (twas ever thus).

As for privacy, nothing particularly sensitive gets passed through either my facebook or gmail, so, yeah, I'm still happy (the ads I get served by facebook have so little relevance to me, I have to wonder if facebook system is really working!). The vast majority of people most likely couldn't care less, I expect.

I may well be ignorant, but I am content, and so very unlikely to abandon these services for a paid alternative - if paid were the only option, I'd just as likely abandon them, altogether.

Lamont Cranston

I'm not so naive as to assume that Facebook and GMail are truly free.

Somewhere, somebody is paying for it, obviously. Is it costing me money? No, so why would I care?

No one cares enough about these services to want to pay for them, so the chance of setting up a viable business model based on subscriptions is practically nil.

Then again, plenty of people fork over good money for something like SkyTV, so I may well be completely wrong.

Online car-buying firm agrees to more transparent pricing

Lamont Cranston

The OFT should put up a maddeningly annoying advert

to let everyone know that webuyanycar.com is a massive ripoff.

Although, how anyone thought that they might not be a massive ripoff, is beyond me.

Australians can’t read or count

Lamont Cranston
Troll

"1 + 2 * 3"

isn't really a question.

French mayor busts overly busty bust

Lamont Cranston

Will the new statue

display Laetitia Casta's lovely teeth?

WTF is... 3D printing

Lamont Cranston

Tea.

Earl Grey.

Hot.

No? Don't want one, then.

Asus Eee Pad Transformer

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

This would suit me just fine.

A pity, then, that I'm too poor to afford one.

The Osborne 1: 30 years old this month

Lamont Cranston

This is what computers are supposed to look like.

No wonder that Apple company isn't doing so well.

The Register Guide to London's Silicon Roundabout Tech Startups

Lamont Cranston

Re: The Coder

Is that Alex Winter?

Ten... tech treats for mum

Lamont Cranston

Re: Very Intelligent Pocket

Are bum-bags back in fashion, then?

Also, you're about two weeks late with this article, as usual.

Zomm wireless leash

Lamont Cranston

A fool and his money,

etc.

Unless they're going to add a function whereby it'll beep if you're being ripped off.

Nokia talks Pure typographic cobblers

Lamont Cranston

Font design may indeed be complicated work,

and I'd probably be shit at it, but general consensus is that Nokia has bigger problems to worry about beyond what their in-house font should be.

If Nokia were the Titanic, then this font would be a deckchair.