* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1555 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Apr 2010

Dragon scoops Expansys into his Marlow den

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

Good to see the private sector doing its bit for job creation.

This, and discovering the association with Dragons' Den, means I will think twice before shopping with them again.

London Ambulance Service downed by upgrade cockup

Lamont Cranston
Flame

So,

rather than procure a system that would support the work of the ambulance service, someone took the decision to procure a system that would require the ambulance service to change the way it works? Fail number 1.

The fact that they did not sufficiently test the system prior to going live, and that they did not have a backup system in place, means that whoever signed off on this needs to get the chop now (not to mention be held accountable for any deaths that may have resulted from this).

If the software controlling the stock exchange packs up, it's not that big of a deal, just an inconvenience. If the ambulance service is unable to function properly, people die.

Sure, some of this is the suppliers' fault, but someone has to take responsibility for allowing this system to be unleashed on the ambulance service.

God, I'm literally burning with outrage at this story.

Apple 'spaceship' awaits landing clearance in Cupertino

Lamont Cranston

Luckily,

Apple has subcontractors in China to handle "getting hurt" duties. Better known as Foxconn employees.

Brit censor stamps on The Human Centipede

Lamont Cranston

Only doing something because you were told you can't?

You must spend a lot of time in A&E.

Lamont Cranston

Can't you be sectioned under the Mental Health Act

in order to prevent harm to yourself or others? That's pretty much dealing with someone for something they might do, although it doesn't involve criminal proceedings.

As for fake child pornography, I'd like that to remain banned. I'm not in a position to quote sources for this, but I've heard a number of reports suggesting that the prevelance of regular pornography, and it's availability to young boys, is changing their attitudes towards sex, and not in a good way. You might be able to distinguish between reality and fantasy, but that doesn't mean that everyone else can.

Twitter cock-up confession deflates Weiner

Lamont Cranston

Once you've made yourself a laughing stock,

you might as well step down, as no one will take you seriously anymore.

Blu-ray sales to overtake DVD... next year

Lamont Cranston

My thoughts exactly.

BluRays simply cost more, so higher revenue does not mean higher volumes.

Sony unveils PlayStation telly

Lamont Cranston

"because half the enjoyment is [...] waiting for their turn to do better"

If memory serves, then no, it really isn't. Gaming is endlessly dull for those not playing (would you volunteer to be the fifth player in an N64 game of Goldeneye?).

Germans completely humourless: Official

Lamont Cranston
Facepalm

BBC7

is enough to convince anyone that the British didn't start being funny until sometime after the Goons started. Even then, we appeared to be a bit shit at it.

Endless repeats of the Clitheroe Kid, anyone? No? How about Educating Archie? Come on, ventriloquism on the radio - it's inherently funny.

UK watchdog looking into Facebook face-tech row

Lamont Cranston

Why are you even on there, then?

I don't really have a huge problem with this development, but then the odds of a compromising photo of me turning up are pretty small (even then, getting it removed is unlikely to be a big problem, as I don't make a habit of acting like a tit in front of total strangers).

Apple pilfers rips off student's rejected iPhone app

Lamont Cranston
Devil

Puts me in mind of that Simpsons episode,

where Bill Gates has his goons destroy Homer's internet business, rather than buying him out, explaining that he doesn't stay rich by handing out money to all and sundry. Gosh, is Steve Jobs really that evil?

Has Steve Jobs killed the consumer hard disk industry?

Lamont Cranston

Maybe St. Jobs could mention this to BT?

All the while 0.3Mbps is the normal upload speed, all this iCloud faff will be dead in the water.

Oxfam's 'Grow' world hunger plan: More peasants

Lamont Cranston

High unemployment

is a good thing, then?

Facebook under fire over Israel, transgender bullying

Lamont Cranston
Childcatcher

They could save themselves a lot of bother by just

blanket banning any page containing the phrase "LOL JK", as it'll just be some purile wank or other, thus no great loss to mankind. It's a fairly good bet that most of the members of these groups are under the 13 years threshold, anyway, so they can enact the ban in the name of the children. I'm happy, mumsnet are happy, CEOP are happy (oh lord, what have I become?!).

Fort Worth joins crusade against sagging pants

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Up

Quite right.

If I wanted to see your pants, I'd at least have bought you a drink, first.

Entire London 2012 Olympics' cultural events database held on Excel

Lamont Cranston

It's an Administrator position,

so the management of the database won't actually go beyond a little bit of data entry. Chances are it's nothing more than a mailing list of important persons.

Asus revamp adds tablet-phone dock

Lamont Cranston

Have they decapitated Wall-E?

Grim.

4G interference will knock out Freeview

Lamont Cranston

Reruns & drivel?

That's pretty much everything, isn't it?

NATO members warned over Anonymous threat

Lamont Cranston
Coat

"a legion of single people"?

Well, no one expected them to have girlfriends, did they?

Sony lets slip NGP name change

Lamont Cranston

Reading website source code

makes my habit of reading the MS-DOS manual in bed seem a bit... actually, no, that really was rather sad.

BPI works out how to put PG stickers on downloads

Lamont Cranston
FAIL

Parents:

no need to pay attention to what your little ones are listening to, someone else is doing it for you.

What do they expect this to acheive?

Tesco pricing cock-up provokes beer stampede

Lamont Cranston

I feel bad,

but I'm really upset by the lack of punctuation in Rebecca Macdougall's tweet.

Google rolls its Facebook mimic onto rest of web

Lamont Cranston
Coat

Or use Opera,

thus convincing Google that you do not exist.

Stealth-cam software snaps laptop looter

Lamont Cranston

I bought an LG Cookie off ebay,

and found myself with an extra Memory Stick Micro (Cookie uses MicroSD) full of photos. They didn't want it back, but I'm too polite to look through the photos!

Privacy really isn't an issue, to most people.

Yahoo! downs! mail! servers! for! essential! and extensive! work!

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

The new interface has confused the hell out of my dad,

thus increasing my technical support duties. Thanks, Yahoo!

Google Apps end love for Firefox 3.5, IE7, and Safari 3

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

grumble,grumble,Opera,

grumble,no support,grumble,from anyone,grumble,grumble

Hackers pwn PBS in revenge for WikiLeaks doco

Lamont Cranston

Further proof, were it needed,

that the internet isn't so much about the free exchange of information and ideas, and more an outlet for pornography and a playground for childish idiots (mostly the latter, in this story).

SeeSaw video-on-demand service to close

Lamont Cranston

Quite.

I signed up some time ago, but have never actually used the service as everything I want, I can through iPlayer, 4oD and Demand5. Anything else isn't worth paying for, as it's only TV. Shame, but there you go.

Chicago lawyer deploys distractionary dumplings

Lamont Cranston
Coat

"job in hand"?

That really would be contempt of court.

Lamont Cranston

What a lovely pair

of spectacles.

Actually, no, they're horrible.

Waking to check mail? You're not alone

Lamont Cranston

Then that's just bad management,

isn't it?

Lamont Cranston

"would stop during love-making"

Stop doing what? You could just carry on, and let her catch up when she's off the phone.

Or am I doing it wrong?

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Lamont Cranston

Is that a euphemism

for something, err, unsavoury?

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

Oh, lord.

I love Marmite, but it can only be consumed when spread on toast, on it's own (almost, the butter is a given).

Doing anything else with it (except, perhaps, enhancing a stock) is appalling. I added it to beans on toast, once, and found out why so many people hate it.

Submarine seized by pirates turns up in Vegas pawnshop

Lamont Cranston
Pirate

Arrr,

there be no law, 'pon the sea.

Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

Lamont Cranston

Craggy Island?

Careful now.

Zuckerberg labels Ceglia lawsuit a 'brazen, outrageous fraud'

Lamont Cranston

I'm struggling

to imagine why anyone would appeal against a ruling that granted them $20m in cash, but then this isn't a story I've followed very closely.

If they really don't want it, I'll happily take it off their hands.

Billionaire Zuckerberg kills to eat

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Down

Gosh,

aren't rich people amazing?

Total Recall rehash – exit Martians, enter Jessica Biel

Lamont Cranston
Terminator

I worry

that my kids will grow up with nostalgia for some really shitty films. Perhaps I should nip this in the bud and show them the original whilst they're still toddlers?

Bloke drives with knees while manipulating two mobes

Lamont Cranston

They get to run red lights, too,

and flout the speed limit.

Honestly, it makes me sick.

Next-gen Atom CPU price halved to push netbooks

Lamont Cranston

Upvoted but,

it can't have been a very good film if you were browsing the web the whole time. Maybe some people only want to do one thing at a time?

McKinnon's mum applauds Obama extradition stance

Lamont Cranston

RE: LMFAO

Would you like some cake for your Tea Party?

Lamont Cranston

I doubt it's a non story

if your Gary McKinnon (or his mum).

Danish embassy issues MARMITE WAFFLE

Lamont Cranston

Claiming added vitamins

and claiming health benefits, are not necessarily the same thing.

Vitamin and health concerns aside, Marmite is the finest spread available to top one's toast with, and the Danes are missing out. More fool them.

Twitter vs Beeb in superinjunction nark shindy

Lamont Cranston
Heart

"dunking his biscuit in the wrong cuppa"

Beautiful expression!

Fedora 15: More than just a pretty interface

Lamont Cranston

Reading that

has made me all nostalgic for Win3.11, and the File Mangler. Oh, happy days, drawing a pixel art mangler, just to service a bad pun...

Seriously, though, storing files on the desktop is dreadful behaviour, and something that I'm always telling myself off for.

MP names Ryan Giggs as super-injunction football star

Lamont Cranston

Does this make parliament

the number one source for celebrity gossip? I'd always wondered what they got up to.

Super-injunctions 'unfair' cos of Twitter gossip, says Cameron

Lamont Cranston

I'm sure his children will be so proud

when they find out what's been going on (if they haven't already).

What a sorry affair.

Apple, Amazon trademark spat turns surreal

Lamont Cranston

I'd like to agree with this but,

coming off the back of an article that appears to state that an app store is not a store which sells apps, I'm not sure that I can believe anything, anymore.

Is The Matrix broken?

Mumsnet founder: Our members are 'very keen' on PORN ...

Lamont Cranston

Ugh.

Maybe we should license computer ownership? Most people I support would have to go without, though!