* Posts by Lamont Cranston

1555 publicly visible posts • joined 28 Apr 2010

Chubby-chasing sex trolls ran me offline, says fashion blogger

Lamont Cranston

@NukEvil

The more I use the "this being the internet, this sort of thing should be more or less expected" arguement, the less I like it.

Wii U sales plunge: Nintendo hopes Mario and Zelda will shift some kit

Lamont Cranston

I'd quite like a WiiU, for the kids,

but I can't really see it offering anything more than the Wii does. That, I think, is Nintendo's problem: the Wii is perfect for casual/early years gaming, and still is. If I wanted to get back in to "serious" gaming, Ī'd upgrade my PC, or buy one of Sony/Microsoft's offerings.

That said, there's a good few months before the PS4/XBox1 become available, so there's still the chance that some killer title for the WiiU will appear. Don't think I'll be holding my breath, though.

ISPs: Relax. Blocking porn online won't really work

Lamont Cranston
Pint

Re: Competence

" In any other area (defence, health, treasury etc.) you'd expect the people involved to have at least some semblance of understanding of the topic that they're meddling in.".

Yeah, that'll happen.

Lamont Cranston
Unhappy

Being a responsible parent, I decided that I would

use OpenDNS to filter my net connection (I've got a few years before the kids understand enough to know what they need to change to get around something like that, by which time I should be comfortable discussing "adult content" with them). Luckily for me, BT have locked down the DNS settings on their latest HomeHubs, necessitating that I either a) use their software filtering (not a enticing prospect, given the volume/variety of devices in the household, or b) faff about with the firmware on my own router to enable me to bypass the HomeHub settings.

Thanks, BT, for making it more difficult to be a responsible parent (I pity the tech-illiterate), and making Cameron's "default on" filter seem like an attractive option in the eyes of my better half.

Lamont Cranston

Re: Just get the filters installed and everyone shut up.

Quite right, Anonymous Coward. Why, just the other day, I was casually surfing the web, when I found myself confronted by a wealth of grot; before I knew it, I'd accidentally caused the deaths of three children, and maimed a dog.

My wife was livid when the penalty notice came through the post.

Capita IT Services staff plan strike over pay this Friday

Lamont Cranston

All the more reason for the top brass

to behave equitably, then.

Idealistic, moi?

Burger-rage horse dumps on McDonald's: Rider saddled with fat fine

Lamont Cranston

Re: Forget H&S, policies, road laws, etc

She did try to obtain her for without walking her horse into the establishment, but they refused to serve her. Non-violent protest is a good thing, and if brief proximity to horse shit is going to upset your tummy, might I suggest that you refrain from leaving the house, let alone eating at McDonalds?

Lamont Cranston

Must be fairly new rule,

as my better half used to take her horse through the drive-thru. Friends of mine used to go through on skateboards, too - they'd be told it wasn't allowed, but be served, regardless.

WAR ON PORN: UK flicks switch on 'I am a pervert' web filters

Lamont Cranston
Thumb Down

The "opt out of filtering" doesn't bother me,

but the idea that the PM can dictate what terms we can/cannot type into a search engines, is a terrifying thought.

1953: How Quatermass switched Britons from TV royalty to TV sci-fi

Lamont Cranston

Re: Already done

"Mind the door"

Was that the episode that featured the line "Stand on my shoulders and pull me up"? Somethings just work better on the radio!

Smartwatch makers: You need apps to beat Apple

Lamont Cranston
Go

@ Hairy Spod

That's the best arguement in favour of smart watches, that I've heard so far. Of course, the watch that you describe is nothing more than a wrist mounted vibrator (oo-er) that previews text messages - given that it disregards all this "app" nonsense, you can probably keep the cost to a minimum.

Quick, bring this to market and destroy the competition!

Man sues Apple for allowing him to become addicted to porn

Lamont Cranston
Pint

I bought a pint glass.

NO ONE WARNED ME THAT I COULD PUT BEER IN IT. Oh, woe is me.

Put up your ... err ... hand for free vasectomy streamed online

Lamont Cranston
Meh

Female nurses at mine, too.

One of them offered to hold my hand! I declined, and got an electric shock from the trolley, so i assume the doctor hadn't been earthed properly.

Daddy-o, you're all wet... baffled by your own kids on the web - survey

Lamont Cranston
Joke

In order to best protect my kids,

I shall take to hanging out on various youth-oriented websites, and learn the lingo. In order to blend in, I shall adopt the persona of a 12 year old girl, and behave accordingly.

What? Don't look at me like that...

Google loses Latitude in Maps app shake-up

Lamont Cranston
Happy

@ David D. Hagood

One of us is probably suffering from confirmation bias.

Lamont Cranston

Re: Android will become a poor choice soon enough

How come everyone went apeshit when Sony took OtherOS away from the PS3, but when Google take away off-line maps, the "freetards" should just shut up?

I paid money for my phone & tablet, so it's disappointing to see them lose functionality.

Caterpillar B15: The Android smartphone for the building site

Lamont Cranston
Coffee/keyboard

^ Downvoted for being pro-Range Rover?

Gotta love these forums!

BT earmarks super-speedy 300Mbit/s broadband for 50 exchanges

Lamont Cranston

Re: Have and have nots

Oh, dead. This is veering perilously close to the "I don't have kids, so why should my Council Tax be spent on schools?" arguement. The greater good, remember?

Ciseco Pi-Lite: Make a Raspberry Pi trip light fantastic with 126 LEDs

Lamont Cranston

Re: Any one remember ...

I remember buying a frisbee that did that (from the Ideal Home Show, of all places), and those wierd, metronome-style clocks were a brief fad.

Lamont Cranston

Re: Pi

Balls to surfing the web. I left my newly setup Pi alone for 5 minutes, and my kids were running the preloaded Python games, and dragging things about in Scratch - OK, they didn't get anywhere (at an average age of 5, I can't blame them), and I was woefully inequipped to point them in the right direction, but it's a start!

Dumping the user at the command prompt would probably scare most people off (if you've never used one before, you'll be sorely disappointed that they don't work like they do in films!) - a GUI is familiar enough to encourage some exploration.

I do agree with the comment about the presence of 2 Python interpreters being confusing, though.

Anti-PRISM Trojan explodes over Jay-Z fans

Lamont Cranston

^ Thanks

This still took me by surprise, though: "The malicious code poses as a real app released through the official Google Play store ". Having checked the Play strore on my phone, it looks like the app has been pulled (couple of obvious fakes still there, though), so maybe the almighty hand of G is already at work?

Lamont Cranston
Big Brother

Do Google still have the ability to remotely wipe apps from users' phones?

If it's in the Play Store, and it's malware, surely the responsible thing to do would be to 1) remove it from the store, 2) remove it from wherever it's been installed?

A bit Big Brother-ish, but probably to the greater good.

US public hate Snowden - but sexpot spy Anna Chapman LOVES him

Lamont Cranston
Big Brother

NSA data gathering was unnecessary and intrusive,

but Snowden was wrong to expose it? Ignorance truly is bliss.

Dell explores wearable computing as PC base crumbles

Lamont Cranston
Coat

"Having a watch on your wrist – that's pretty interesting, pretty appealing"

As is the movement of small pieces of green paper, but it still won't make us any less miserable.

<- Mine's the one with the towel in the pocket.

Microsoft to switch off MSN TV

Lamont Cranston
Go

Most of the "pros" of an internet-enabled TV

(iPlayer, Netflix, local streaming) will already be included in the consumers' TV/Freeview box/DVD player/games console. If MS really want to put Metro on our TVs, so that we can wave our hands at them (is Minority Report still cool? Probably not), then they have the new X-Box, so I wouldn't expect MSN TV to get a direct replacement (unless MS really are as daft as everyone thinks).

Upturned boat sails to Shed of the Year title

Lamont Cranston
Stop

That's got a lot of windows,

and no sign of a workbench. Are you sure it's a shed?

I'm 'pretty comfy' with PRISM + 'It's Google. What else do you expect'

Lamont Cranston

Re: The forcing down of the Bolivian ministers jet is especially concerning.

These Star Wars analogies are all very amusing, but we won't be laughing when Grand Moff Hagel obliterates a small South American nation to prove a point.

India's low cost tablet dream lives on with Aakash IV

Lamont Cranston

What happened to number III?

Or have they skipped that part and gone straight for the gritty reboot?

Fitbit Flex wristband: What to wear out when wearing yourself out

Lamont Cranston

Re: Why?

Can some enlightened person tell me what this thing does that a pedometer doesn't? Other than come with a bluetooth dongle and an app?

El Reg encounters mObi: R2-D2 for retailers

Lamont Cranston
Terminator

Re: Is it hoodie proof?

If it's going to have "Kinect’s gesture recognition" to track "finger movements", I'll be flicking it the Vs at the earliest opportunity. Maybe they can programme it to scurry away in terror if you roar at it?

US states: Google making ad money on illegal YouTube vids

Lamont Cranston

I would have thought

that Google generally have a fair idea of where their users are (unless said users are making an effort to mask their location data). That being the case, it surely wouldn't be beyond Google's means to only show ads appropriate to the location (their whole business runs around targetting advertising, anyway - the ads I see from Google are generally UK-centric, so the must be doing this already), with a defult to no ads if your location is one of which they are ignorant the local laws (ok, Google showing no ads is probably pretty unlikely).

This sounds like it would fit their "don't be evil" mantra.

Bigger than Twitter: Opera releases rebuilt Chromium-based browser

Lamont Cranston

This was a shit idea when they pushed it on mobile.

It'll be shit on desktop, too.

Brit fantasy artist sues James Cameron over Avatar world

Lamont Cranston

Wait a minute.

He wants credit for Avatar? He must be looking for a big settlement if he wants a turd of that magnitude in his portfolio.

Prince of Persia: Baggy trousers and curvy swords

Lamont Cranston
Meh

I worry that you might be right.

There's a version on the Google Play store, from EA, that is absolute gash. All I remember from the original is smooth animation and dying on spikes (much like Another World), so maybe the Android version is actually quite accurate, and I just don't miss the "die repeatedly until you learn the sequence of moves that will allow you to not die" mechanic that dominated games in my childhood (Ghouls & Ghosts, anyone?)?

It's still a classic, though (as are Another World and Ghouls & Ghosts)!

Idaho patriots tool up to battle Jihad with pork bullets

Lamont Cranston
Happy

Re: Russell's teapot

@Clive Galway

Yup, utterly agnostic about the whole lot, teapot included (not to mention the dragon in your garage). None of it is worth losing any sleep over.

Never begrudge a man his vices, except perhaps if that man's particular vice is shooting pork-coated bullets at what he perceives to be terrorists.

Lamont Cranston

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

The law? I thought the Church of England was the spiritual home for we agnostics.

Lamont Cranston
Happy

Re: Any pointers on how I can be a better agnostic?

Thanks, John.

I don't take said beliefs to be likely, much less certain, but have long since accepted that, since I can't prove anything either way, I'm free not to worry about it. It's highly liberating, and I would recommend it to everyone (except I won't, as that would be prosletising!).

Lamont Cranston

Needs more

shellfish.

Lamont Cranston

Not being a Muslim, I can't pretend to speak for that group,

but even I can see that the "HAM in MoHAMmed" line is bound to offend (as is the little piggy mascot).

Just because you can make offensive jokes (and you can, that's free speech) doesn't mean you should go out of your way to upset people.

Lamont Cranston

Re: So much for respecting the religious beliefs of other people.

I love it when atheists (sorry, antitheists) lecture Christians/Muslims/Jews/etc. about how to be a proper Christian/Muslim/Jew/whatever.

Any pointers on how I can be a better agnostic?

Facebook restricts ads running next to dodgy posts

Lamont Cranston
Joke

Re: if only the reverse were true

While we're at it, this moon I acquired HAS NO STICK!

Seriously, though, all the facebook ads that I see are for dating websites, too (despite my profile showing that I am married). Given that I don't bother with "like"-ing much on facebook, it clearly doesn't know much about me, and so the default profile for "man on the internet" must be "can't get a girlfriend".

Our week with Soylent: Don't chuck out your vintage food quite yet

Lamont Cranston
Joke

You can live on it,

but it tastes like shit.

Google staffing boss: Our old hiring procedures were 'worthless'

Lamont Cranston

@ Gannon (J.) Dick

I think you'll find that taking an interest in puppies, as part of your selection criteria, is going to put you on the wrong end of a harassment complaint.

Offensive, iconoclastic internet trolls will not be prosecuted, says DPP

Lamont Cranston

Re: "go take a knife to them, that's what I'm planning to do"

So, where does the law stand on making empty threats?

Can Microsoft's U-turn stop the Xbox 360 becoming another XP?

Lamont Cranston
Joke

Microsoft can't very well go with the

"the technology is right it's just the users who are wrong" approach - Apple are very protective of their patents.

Google flings another £1m at online child sex abuse vid CRACKDOWN

Lamont Cranston

^ Very much this.

Holding Google to be somehow responsible for these images, seems like a massive cop-out, to me. Then again, I wouldn't be massively surprised to learn the the UK government (or the Daily Mail) doesn't really know how the internet works.

Reg hack prepares to live off wondergloop Soylent

Lamont Cranston

Post testing, it can be renamed to

HolycrapwhydidIjustdrinkthatblaaaaaargh.

Lamont Cranston
Go

Re: Pink wafer biscuits = Soylent Pink

Unlike this beige goo, I would happily live on Pink Wafer biscuits. At least until the malnutrition set in.

I told you I'd be back: Arnie set for another career revival

Lamont Cranston

To be fair,

Arnie never really left the silver screen. Probably about time he did, though. "Triplets"? Who's the third - Adam Sandler?

Badger bloodbath brouhaha brings 'bodge' bumpkin bank burgle bluster

Lamont Cranston

And a mushroom.

But not a snake.