* Posts by Locky

554 publicly visible posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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Whoooooa, this node is on fire! Forget Ceph, try the forgotten OpenStack storage release 'Crispy'

Locky
Flame

Thermal Incident

We had a message from out CoLo DC team that one of our racks had discharged it's non-Halon gas over night one morning.

After a few calls to HP, the report came back for the warranty replacement kit as "To be fair, C7000 enclosures very rarely catch fire"

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light

Locky

Outdated?

So they've updated the radio waves to increase their speed now?

Video-editing upstart bares users' raunchy flicks to world+dog via leaky AWS bucket

Locky
Childcatcher

Re: I wonder if....

The former. S3 buckets have no public access by default.

Google Cloud on the other hand....

Royal Bank of Scotland IT contractor ban sparks murmurs of legal action

Locky

Re: Just the start

Is this the super Canada-plus deal I keep hearing about?

Labour: Free British broadband for country if we win general election

Locky

Infrastrucutre

Back in the late 80's I did a Economics A level, and I distinctly remember the text books (remember them kids) stating that county wide infrastructure, phone lines, train lines, roads etc, are poor candidates for privatisation as there is no way to have multiple routes and therefore no competition. All you get is companies bidding to run it better (cheaper) and skim off the profits.

Seems the Torys didn't read they same book

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'

Locky

You want to change my meter?

Shut up Wesley

Power to the users? Admins be warned: Microsoft set to introduce 'self-service purchase' in Office 365

Locky
Devil

With the GUI they giveth

But with a powershell script, automated to run every, say 5 minutes, it can be taken back.

If you're not in the right group, you'd better be quick

Masters of Puppet say: There's no magical one-size-fits-all answer to doing DevOpsery

Locky
Gimp

Re: Cannot stop the Battery...

Ride the Lightning for me

UK govt snubs Intel, seeks second-gen AMD Epyc processors for 28PFLOPS Archer2 supercomputer

Locky

And repeating your experiments?

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

Locky

Re: Been there. Done that.

Outlook contacts stored in the To dropdown quick pick list

"I've lost all my contacts after you gave me a new laptop"

"You saved them in 'Contacts, like I told you last time, right?'

Rinse and repeat.

Plusnet is doing us proud again with early Christmas present for customers: Price hikes

Locky

I miss Bulldog

Works fine for 18 months, back in the early days of ADSL all worked fine for an acceptable speed (for the time) of about .5mbps and then one day, no sync

After numerous calls, rebootings, new routers and engineers, I finally got the the answer;

"I'm sorry Sir, your house is too far from the exchange"

The irony that it hadn't been a week before seemed lost on them

Game over: Atari VCS architect quits project, claims he hasn’t been paid for six months

Locky

ET part 2

I'm imagining that any part build consoles will be dumped in a New Mexico rubbish tip for future generations to discover

Devonitely not great: Torbay and South Devon NHS declares 'major IT incident'

Locky

Odds on

Tesco parking app hauled offline after exposing 10s of millions of Automatic Number Plate Recognition images

Locky
Coat

When it comes to data slurping

Every little helps

First they came for 'face' and I did not speak out because I... have no face? Then they came for 'book'

Locky
Holmes

The Hawaii 5-0 ruling

Book em Danno

Microsoft plays chicken with Extended Support for Exchange 2010 end date and swerves first

Locky

Re: Exchange migration

"The benefit of O365 for Exchange is I don't have to worry about backing it up any more"

You sure? Account failures can happen and in that case, MS has no path back for your data. They are great about protecting against hardware failure, but account failure, not so much

Locky

W7 extension

They have offered one, with caveats

"Starting June 1st, EA and EAS customers with active subscription licenses to Windows 10 Enterprise E5, Microsoft 365 E5, or Microsoft 365 E5 Security (as of December 31, 2019) will get Windows 7 Extended Security Updates for Year 1 as a benefit. With this limited-time promotion, customers have more options to continue receiving Windows 7 security updates after end of support"

https://www.microsoftpartnercommunity.com/t5/UK-Modern-Workplace-Community/New-Windows-7-ESU-Promo-with-Windows-E5-and-Microsoft-365-E5/gpm-p/10129

Bus pass or bus ass? Hackers peeved about public transport claim to have reverse engineered ticket app for free rides

Locky
Joke

It may be free

But.....

Gov flings £10m to help businesses get Brexit-ready with, um... information packs

Locky
Flame

Almost as useful

As firefighter desperately trying to put out a burning petrol station by throwing their third and final banana at it.

Electric cars can't cut UK carbon emissions while only the wealthy can afford to own one

Locky

Of course, it matters not a jot that everyone has zero emitting vehicles until we can generate the power for them without burning dino juice.

But that won't sell new cars, so shhhh

Top tip: Don't upload your confidential biz files to free malware-scanning websites – everything is public

Locky

Re: Predator becoms prey when a bigger Predator turns up.

The old adage is still true, if you're not paying for the service, you are the service

Yorkshire public sector procurement body YPO opens £400m framework for data centres, cloud hosting and security

Locky

Yorkshire Purchasing Organisation?

We used dream of Purchasing Organisation. We used to negotiate our Cloud services individually

You were lucky to have a cloud, all we had was a datacentre in o' middle of motoway

etc...

All roads in US cable biz GTT's Brit network seem to lead to Menwith Hill

Locky

As I only live a few miles from The Hill...

Can GTT please throw some fiber connectivity my way? BT have been failing to do so for years

They can snoop on Mrs Locky's cat video habit as much as they want

OK, Google. We've got just the gesture for you: Hand-tracking Project Soli coming to Pixel 4

Locky

As Keanu said in the Matrix

Ok Google, how about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call

If at first you don't succeed, Fold? Nope. Samsung redesigns bendy screen for fresh launch in September

Locky
Holmes

So you want a phone that folds out into a tablet with a full qwerty physical keyboard?

If only we'd thought of that before....

Chrome's default-on ad blocker – which doesn't block adverts on 99% of websites – goes global

Locky

Re: "based on user feedback"

AutoplayStopper can be added to @Joe W's list

Stop those from working Mr Google, and you will find a lot of users searching for "firefox install"

Blackburn ain't big enough for the both of us: Mr Creamy and Mr Whippy at the centre of new ice-cream war

Locky

Someone call Tom Selek

It's time to call in Magnum P.I.

Microsoft has Windows 1.0 retrogasm: Remember when Windows ran in kilobytes, not gigabytes?

Locky

Queen of the Streams?

Sounds like the author is a member of the church

HTJI

DeepNude deep-nuked: AI photo app stripped clothes from women to render them naked. Now, it's stripped from web

Locky

Hang on

There are pictures of naked women?

On the internet?

Why didn't somebody say something?

Hot desk hell: Staff spend two weeks a year looking for seats in open-plan offices

Locky
Mushroom

This desk is hot, mainly because I've wired the table leg to the mains

Oh 4G, I'm speechless: EE network outage smacks rare breed of customer that talks into their mobile phone

Locky

Re: 5 gEE whizz?

EE 5G, our network will now fail faster than every before

Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy: Run Huawei, Google Play, turns away, from Huawei... turns away

Locky

Re: Massive own goal ?

@A.P. Veening - Fair point, well made ;)

@AC - So the theory is (and remember this was 30 years ago and I wasn't really paying attention to the teacher and only took the class as I fancied a girl doing it too...) that all oil is traded in $ no matter where it is produced. So you have to change your local currency into dollars to get a tub of deceased dino juice, and on the scale this happens this skews the supply and demand curve right to such an extent that it is effectively propping up the US currency and economy.

Well that's what I remember from what was said, but I also bought Appetite for Destruction and learning Welcome to the Jungle was more pressing at the time....

Locky
Big Brother

Re: Massive own goal ?

As I recall for my economics A level 30 years ago, if China really wants to play hardball it could convince all OPEC states (other than the US) that oil should be traded in Yen rather than dollars.

That one single act could bring down the US economy

Zavvi tells customers: You've won VIP tickets to Champions League final! And you've won tickets, and you've won tickets, and you, and...

Locky

Good news! I've come up with a great way of validating emails in our database...

Portal to 'HELL' cracks open in street – oh sorry, it's just another pothole

Locky

Re: Insurance get out of jail free card

@Rich 11 - That's a bit inflammatory

"Let's face it, She's a bit of an arse"

There, FTFY

Locky
Devil

Insurance get out of jail free card

A portal to hell you say? I'm afraid that according to your policy exceptions, that is an act of God

VMware now officially supported on Azure. We repeat: VMware now supported on Azure

Locky
Headmaster

Philosophical question of the day

If you have a Vmware stack in Azure and you put an Oracle DB on it, do you have to licence every CPU in the world?

BOFH: It's not just an awesome app, it'll look great on my Insta. . a. a. AAAARRRRRGGH

Locky

No one wants to be the first to say that this isn't a thing – just in case it is a thing

Pretty much every meeting I've been to this week

Parents slapped with dress code after turning school grounds into a fashion crime scene

Locky

What if you don't comply?

Do they keep your spawn overnight? Sounds like a free babysitter service to me

Complex automation won't make fleshbags obsolete, not when the end result is this dumb

Locky
Coat

Re: Lied to – by a computer

The second entered a black hole in Sheffield Rotherham from which it never emerged

FTFY

Cheapskate Brits appear to love their Poundland MVNOs as UK's big four snubbed in survey again

Locky

Re: But I need wifi calling

The exact reason I am with them. £7 a month for generally enough rolled-over data, and while I'm sure their customer service is atrocious I've never had to use it.

A quick cup of coffee leaves production manager in fits and a cleaner in tears

Locky
Childcatcher

AS400's

And no UPS? Either the SysOpr liked Russian Roulette or there's a little poetic licence in this tale

Here's to you: UK.gov praises Reg-reading techies for keeping on top of cybersecurity

Locky
Megaphone

Trouble rolling out that new process? Hand me the cattle prod

Huge news from Apple: No, not mags, games or TV – more than 50 security bugs to patch

Locky
Coat

Re: Patch Keynote

Apple are still living in the past, when they happily told the world that their software couldn't be affected by malware

Can we not just patch vulnerabilities as and when the fixes are tested stable?

Sorry, I know. Mines the one with the rose tinted glasses in the pocket

Oracle spaffed $30bn on buybacks over the past 9 months, but analysts warn it can't last forever

Locky

In completely unrelated news

Customer licence review letters coming in 3... 2... 1....

Ransomware drops the Lillehammer on Norsk Hydro: Aluminium giant forced into manual mode after systems scrambled

Locky
Mushroom

The slightly updated adage is still true

There are two types of companies. Those who back up and test their files, and those who haven't experienced losing all their data to ransomware.

College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

Locky
Mushroom

Don't forget to test all use cases

Automation fubars are all too fun.

Back in the early days of Powershell I had the bright idea that any user moved to a "Staff Leavers" OU to have their our of office set to a "I have now left the company" script, which I created and was tested, or so I thought.

All was going well, until a day when there were no users in the folder, and I found a feature of Powershell 1.1 where if no results were found all mailboxes were selected, setting every out of office from the MD down.

Oh how we laughed in the forthcoming meetings....

Open-source 64-ish-bit serial number gen snafu sparks TLS security cert revoke runaround

Locky

Re: Really

If something has a 1 in a billion chance of going wrong, it will do so 9 times out of 10.

So we need to even the odds up a bit. How about you generate it blindfolded, standing on one leg and with one arm tide behind your back.

Then the odds are about 1 in a billiion....

Carphone Warehouse fined £29m for mis-selling mobile insurance to punters who didn't need it

Locky
Pint

Re: PC world

I like this response more than I probably should. Have one of these ->

Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently

Locky

Re: Good on him for standing up

Purple used to be the most difficult, and therefore the most expensive, colour to dye cloth. So it was reserved for royalty.

Here endeth the history lesson

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