Posts by Locky

Google productises its own not-a-VPN secure remote access tool

Zero Trust and Google

Yup, checks out

Apple creates face shield for health workers, resists the temptation to call it the 'iMask'

There's a "You're wearing it wrong" joke in here, I'm sure of it...

VMware plans to give vSphere power to automatically patch everything running in a VM

Old functionallity

Back in the good old days of vSphere3, Update Manager used to be able to apply Windows updates to VMs, until MS gave them a cease and desist.

Feels like a long time ago now, but so does February

Zoom's end-to-end encryption isn't actually end-to-end at all. Good thing the PM isn't using it for Cabinet calls. Oh, for f...

They should ditch Zoom

Houseparty is what all the cool kids are using these days

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now: Brexit tea towel says it'll just be the gigabit broadband

Re: Since when did a hedgerow need gigabit broadband?

Pwooor, look at them tits

Private equity ponies up £2m to help launch satellites from sunny Shetland by next year

Re: Ideal

Oh course it's ideal, being the one of the most northerly points of the UK it's closer to space, and so will save on fuel.

QED

BOFH: Darn Windows 7. It's totally why we need a £1k graphics card for a business computer

Hardware drivers, BIOS handshaking, flux capacitor decoupling

That exactly the point we're at in our W10 project too

LastPass stores passwords so securely, not even its users can access them

Me to, with thanks to the commentards here for the recommendation of Bitwarden

Totally Subcontracted Business: TSB to outsource entire IT estate to IBM for a cool $1bn after 2019 meltdown

Re: Still a TSB Customer? WHY?

First Direct. I know it's technically HSBC, but at least the call centre staff are polite to you when they have IT issues.

BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

Priority calling at Samaritans

That's my "not laughing at jokes that will send me to hell" resolution broken then

Windows 7 and Server 2008 end of support: What will change on 14 January?

Re: We still need a name for this

Oh no, not again

Log us out: Private equity snaffles Lastpass owner LogMeIn

Re: Google

Icon requires correction...

Canada's .ca supremo in hot water after cyber-smut stash allegedly found on his work Mac ‒ and three IT bods fired

Re: Do you think

"When in this situation, either quit or call a lawyer"

Which is probably what they did. The fact that they all had to sign an NDA to keep their severance suggests they got the best they could. If they didn't follow company procedures by involving HR, they would have not even got this and would have been hung out to dry.

HR kept the damage costs to a minimum by removing the lowest paid problem

Following the wild, roaring success of its Snapdragon 8cx Arm laptop chip, Qualcomm's back with the 8c, 7c

It's a very functional tool

But what is she going to do with that pickaxe?

Whoooooa, this node is on fire! Forget Ceph, try the forgotten OpenStack storage release 'Crispy'

Thermal Incident

We had a message from out CoLo DC team that one of our racks had discharged it's non-Halon gas over night one morning.

After a few calls to HP, the report came back for the warranty replacement kit as "To be fair, C7000 enclosures very rarely catch fire"

Halfords invents radio signals that don't travel at the speed of light

Outdated?

So they've updated the radio waves to increase their speed now?

Video-editing upstart bares users' raunchy flicks to world+dog via leaky AWS bucket

Re: I wonder if....

The former. S3 buckets have no public access by default.

Google Cloud on the other hand....

Royal Bank of Scotland IT contractor ban sparks murmurs of legal action

Re: Just the start

Is this the super Canada-plus deal I keep hearing about?

Labour: Free British broadband for country if we win general election

Infrastrucutre

Back in the late 80's I did a Economics A level, and I distinctly remember the text books (remember them kids) stating that county wide infrastructure, phone lines, train lines, roads etc, are poor candidates for privatisation as there is no way to have multiple routes and therefore no competition. All you get is companies bidding to run it better (cheaper) and skim off the profits.

Seems the Torys didn't read they same book

Delayed, over-budget smart meters will be helpful – when Blighty enters 'Star Trek phase'

You want to change my meter?

Shut up Wesley

Power to the users? Admins be warned: Microsoft set to introduce 'self-service purchase' in Office 365

With the GUI they giveth

But with a powershell script, automated to run every, say 5 minutes, it can be taken back.

If you're not in the right group, you'd better be quick

Masters of Puppet say: There's no magical one-size-fits-all answer to doing DevOpsery

Re: Cannot stop the Battery...

Ride the Lightning for me

UK govt snubs Intel, seeks second-gen AMD Epyc processors for 28PFLOPS Archer2 supercomputer

And repeating your experiments?

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

Re: Been there. Done that.

Outlook contacts stored in the To dropdown quick pick list

"I've lost all my contacts after you gave me a new laptop"

"You saved them in 'Contacts, like I told you last time, right?'

Rinse and repeat.

Plusnet is doing us proud again with early Christmas present for customers: Price hikes

I miss Bulldog

Works fine for 18 months, back in the early days of ADSL all worked fine for an acceptable speed (for the time) of about .5mbps and then one day, no sync

After numerous calls, rebootings, new routers and engineers, I finally got the the answer;

"I'm sorry Sir, your house is too far from the exchange"

The irony that it hadn't been a week before seemed lost on them

Game over: Atari VCS architect quits project, claims he hasn’t been paid for six months

ET part 2

I'm imagining that any part build consoles will be dumped in a New Mexico rubbish tip for future generations to discover

Devonitely not great: Torbay and South Devon NHS declares 'major IT incident'

Odds on

Tesco parking app hauled offline after exposing 10s of millions of Automatic Number Plate Recognition images

When it comes to data slurping

Every little helps

First they came for 'face' and I did not speak out because I... have no face? Then they came for 'book'

The Hawaii 5-0 ruling

Book em Danno

Microsoft plays chicken with Extended Support for Exchange 2010 end date and swerves first

Re: Exchange migration

"The benefit of O365 for Exchange is I don't have to worry about backing it up any more"

You sure? Account failures can happen and in that case, MS has no path back for your data. They are great about protecting against hardware failure, but account failure, not so much

W7 extension

They have offered one, with caveats

"Starting June 1st, EA and EAS customers with active subscription licenses to Windows 10 Enterprise E5, Microsoft 365 E5, or Microsoft 365 E5 Security (as of December 31, 2019) will get Windows 7 Extended Security Updates for Year 1 as a benefit. With this limited-time promotion, customers have more options to continue receiving Windows 7 security updates after end of support"

https://www.microsoftpartnercommunity.com/t5/UK-Modern-Workplace-Community/New-Windows-7-ESU-Promo-with-Windows-E5-and-Microsoft-365-E5/gpm-p/10129

Bus pass or bus ass? Hackers peeved about public transport claim to have reverse engineered ticket app for free rides

It may be free

But.....

Gov flings £10m to help businesses get Brexit-ready with, um... information packs

Almost as useful

As firefighter desperately trying to put out a burning petrol station by throwing their third and final banana at it.

Electric cars can't cut UK carbon emissions while only the wealthy can afford to own one

Of course, it matters not a jot that everyone has zero emitting vehicles until we can generate the power for them without burning dino juice.

But that won't sell new cars, so shhhh

Top tip: Don't upload your confidential biz files to free malware-scanning websites – everything is public

Re: Predator becoms prey when a bigger Predator turns up.

The old adage is still true, if you're not paying for the service, you are the service

Yorkshire public sector procurement body YPO opens £400m framework for data centres, cloud hosting and security

Yorkshire Purchasing Organisation?

We used dream of Purchasing Organisation. We used to negotiate our Cloud services individually

You were lucky to have a cloud, all we had was a datacentre in o' middle of motoway

etc...

All roads in US cable biz GTT's Brit network seem to lead to Menwith Hill

As I only live a few miles from The Hill...

Can GTT please throw some fiber connectivity my way? BT have been failing to do so for years

They can snoop on Mrs Locky's cat video habit as much as they want

OK, Google. We've got just the gesture for you: Hand-tracking Project Soli coming to Pixel 4

As Keanu said in the Matrix

Ok Google, how about I give you the finger, and you give me my phone call

If at first you don't succeed, Fold? Nope. Samsung redesigns bendy screen for fresh launch in September

So you want a phone that folds out into a tablet with a full qwerty physical keyboard?

If only we'd thought of that before....

Chrome's default-on ad blocker – which doesn't block adverts on 99% of websites – goes global

Re: "based on user feedback"

AutoplayStopper can be added to @Joe W's list

Stop those from working Mr Google, and you will find a lot of users searching for "firefox install"

Blackburn ain't big enough for the both of us: Mr Creamy and Mr Whippy at the centre of new ice-cream war

Someone call Tom Selek

It's time to call in Magnum P.I.

Microsoft has Windows 1.0 retrogasm: Remember when Windows ran in kilobytes, not gigabytes?

Queen of the Streams?

Sounds like the author is a member of the church

HTJI

DeepNude deep-nuked: AI photo app stripped clothes from women to render them naked. Now, it's stripped from web

Hang on

There are pictures of naked women?

On the internet?

Why didn't somebody say something?

Hot desk hell: Staff spend two weeks a year looking for seats in open-plan offices

This desk is hot, mainly because I've wired the table leg to the mains

Oh 4G, I'm speechless: EE network outage smacks rare breed of customer that talks into their mobile phone

Re: 5 gEE whizz?

EE 5G, our network will now fail faster than every before

Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy: Run Huawei, Google Play, turns away, from Huawei... turns away

Re: Massive own goal ?

@A.P. Veening - Fair point, well made ;)

@AC - So the theory is (and remember this was 30 years ago and I wasn't really paying attention to the teacher and only took the class as I fancied a girl doing it too...) that all oil is traded in $ no matter where it is produced. So you have to change your local currency into dollars to get a tub of deceased dino juice, and on the scale this happens this skews the supply and demand curve right to such an extent that it is effectively propping up the US currency and economy.

Well that's what I remember from what was said, but I also bought Appetite for Destruction and learning Welcome to the Jungle was more pressing at the time....

Re: Massive own goal ?

As I recall for my economics A level 30 years ago, if China really wants to play hardball it could convince all OPEC states (other than the US) that oil should be traded in Yen rather than dollars.

That one single act could bring down the US economy

Zavvi tells customers: You've won VIP tickets to Champions League final! And you've won tickets, and you've won tickets, and you, and...

Good news! I've come up with a great way of validating emails in our database...

Portal to 'HELL' cracks open in street – oh sorry, it's just another pothole

Re: Insurance get out of jail free card

@Rich 11 - That's a bit inflammatory

"Let's face it, She's a bit of an arse"

There, FTFY

Insurance get out of jail free card

A portal to hell you say? I'm afraid that according to your policy exceptions, that is an act of God