* Posts by perlcat

564 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Mar 2010


IBM deliberately misclassified mainframe sales to enrich execs, lawsuit claims


Execs unethical? Shocker!

Subject says it all.

BOFH: All hail the job cuts consultant


Re: "Gerard's going to recommend firing the board."

...in the same way as you can expense your time at the strip joint as "laptop servicing".


Getting rid of the board

That would be where the most money is, Gerard's good.

BOFH: The vengeance bus is coming, and everybody's jumping. An Xmas bonus hits me…


Re: Ono

You have to hand it to Yoko, not everyone can make a Shatner album seem appealing.

BOFH: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself


Service provider?

It's a service in the agricultural sense, like when you hire a bull to service your cows.

BOFH: So you want to have your computer switched out for something faster? It's time to learn from the master


Why do that, when you have microsoft patches to install slowness and incompatibility with their competitors' products? You're really overthinking this.

BOFH: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.


Speaking of putting dev stuff where it doesn't belong

I had a gig where I was setting up a system for a major financial player. They had four large, critical production systems with "DEV" in their system names, because they kept putting production data in the test setups and never made plans to migrate onto actual prod. When I was younger, I might have been shocked, but now, I just laugh, and wait for things to fail. IAPTS.

I no longer have a burning hatred for Jewish people, says Googler now suddenly no longer at Google


Resistance is futile

Join the borg, it'll be fun they said...

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light


Turns out...

you *can* just set fire to your problems. There aren't many inventory problems that can't be solved with a gallon of diesel and a match.

BOFH: But we think the UK tax authorities would be VERY interested in how we used COVID support packages


Re: Special Compliance

...but they didn't remove the auditor without leaving a trace -- the poor, despondent guy typed "seppuku" in his browser tab immediately before the high jump.

BOFH: Bullying? Not on my watch! (It's a Rolex)


F---- priceless

"Look, if you want a nebulous position description that requires no real credentials, is devoid of accountability and offers carte blanche to make thinly researched changes to an organisation you may as well become an HR Consultant."

I'm still laughing, but it's a bitter laugh.

UK terror law reviewer calls for expanded police powers to imprison people who refuse to hand over passwords


Rights, schmights.

As conservative as I am, this is insane. Due process? What's that? As usual, terrorism is being used as a bugaboo to render people's rights null and void, while no actual terrorists will be impacted by this in any way, shape, or form. It proves my theory of government: If a politician says it's "affordable", it isn't, if they say "it's for your own good", it makes them rich, if they say "we want to protect you", they want you as their sole victim, and if they say they want to tax "some other guy", they want to tax you in specific.

COVID-19 security tips: Ensure you sack your staff without leaving their IT access enabled, says Secureworks


Re: Macros

Your assumption about who training is actually for and what it actually does is as invalid as assuming HR is there to protect you. HR is there to protect the business from the employees, and training is to ensure that they have valid reasons to discipline/terminate, as you become accountable for the subject of the training. The training has no need to be connected to reality or education in any way, shape or form -- if there is unpleasantness, and you were at the bottom of it, they have proof in writing that you know better, and so they have a legit right to get rid of you. This, even if the actual training had absolutely nothing to do with the title of the course. If the course title is "Internet Security", and the instructions are simply how to make a bacon sandwich, you now are responsible for internet security in spite of the material presented -- and the training would actually be useful (for once). Did you *really* think a swarm of HR drones could make useful internet security training, anyway?

TikTok says Trump administration ban is based on fake news about the app and its back end


Bridge for sale, cheap

Pull the other one, TikTok.

IBM manager had to make one person redundant from choice of two, still bungled it and got firm done for unfair dismissal


Worked for a major contracting company that used their own product to conduct reviews.

It was inaccessible. After 2 years of trying to enter my goals and evaluations into their system, I gave up, and when was laid off with severance because I'd failed to enter any goals, I took it with relief.

Relying on plain-text email is a 'barrier to entry' for kernel development, says Linux Foundation board member


As usual

Microsoft corrupts everything it touches.

Lawsuit klaxon: HP, HPE accused of coordinated plan to oust older staff in favor of cheaper, compliant youngsters


Re: My last review at HP was 1 line

The last place I worked had their performance goal-setting site made inaccessible. After many complaints and requests for help, I gave up and just concentrated on my actual job. They then let me go because I "was not meeting goals" and did not respond to an email they never sent. It was all a scam to deny me UI and save salary costs IMO.

Oh-so-generous ransomware crooks vow to hold back from health organisations during COVID-19 crisis


More ethical than...

A business exec taking bailout money and awarding themselves a bonus.

BOFH: Here he comes, all wide-eyed with the boundless optimism of youth. He is me, 30 years ago... what to do?


...and it was written:

"...but life goes on. A couple of hours later, as I see the SWAT vehicle roll up outside the poor pleb's apartment I realise that for some, it just doesn't. "

Tech CEO thrown in the clink for seven years for H-1B gang-master role: Crim farmed out foreign staff as cheap labor


Why am I not surprised?

Pretty much S.O.P. for many outfits.

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly



I'd like to point out that beer *is* a staple. 3,000 on staples is a bargain.

BOFH: Tick tick BOOM. It's B-day! No we're not eating Brussels flouts...


Great writing.

I could hear the thud/car alarm going off in my mind. Is that great writing, or what?!?!

SUSE to celebrate its Independence Day by eating something multi-cloud management-y



Hopefully they'll figure out a way to sell the SUSE distribution. Clearly the old SUSE website was a sales prevention device.

'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin


Re: Beer Gods must have a sense of humor

It takes an epic level of douchebaggery to complain about free beer.

Russian sailors maroon themselves in Bristol Channel after drunken dinghy ride goes awry


It all depends. Was it early in the morning? In that case, I believe you put them in the scuppers with a hosepipe on them.

BOFH: Bye desktop, bye desk. Hello tablet and a beanbag on the floor


Missed one. The guy that comes to work even though he's sick and should just stay home. We call him: "Typhoid Larry".

I'm a crime-fighter, says FamilyTreeDNA boss after being caught giving folks' DNA data to FBI


This is why we can't have nice things.

This is also why I refuse to have my DNA tested. It only takes one accident to get your unique information out there, and what this criminal did was no accident at all.

Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early


Not how it works

Usually they find a way to get rid of you after, they don't like being held accountable.

Windows 10 Linux Distribution Overload? We have just the thing


Fails the horror movie test -- what could possibly go wrong?

You know, the "Let's explore the abandoned house next to the unkempt cemetery where the wind makes a funny screaming sound at night. Alone. With 3 high school kids comprising a jock, an nerd, and a hot chick." After all, it's not like they haven't done all three operations on every previous technology they've started the "embrace, extend, extinguish" sequence on in the past.

Politicians fume after Amazon's face-recog AI fingers dozens of them as suspected crooks


Doesn't compute

Only 5% of Congress identified as crooks? Clearly facial recognition does not work; the actual number is substantially higher if you simply compare growth in net worth to actual income.

As Tesla hits speed bump after speed bump, Elon Musk loses his mind in anti-media rant


Re: anonymous coward

I think that I can answer the question "how badly have we fucked up". I have a sibling that went through journalism school in the 80's. At the time, there were three main TV news networks in the US, and their reports were basically viewed as gospel. I won't go into why that was, but the journos I knew at the time were all about the ethics of journalism, how they stood up to the powerful for Truth and Justice, with a capital 'T' and 'J'. I found that absurd even then, as Juvenal's phrase "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" has remained relevant for a long time. They could be forgiven, as the young are often guilty of enthusiasm.

Even into Desert Storm with CNN, there was a lot of faith in journalism that was as unwarranted as that in the Big Three networks' product. There has always been bias in news -- the only real barrier to setting up a news outlet was cash. It doesn't even have to be a conscious bias -- for example, a journalist may put a lot more effort into digging up dirt on political adversaries than they will for their friends. This reinforces itself until all credibility is as lost as that on a product trial that says Microsoft is the best in an independent study that is hosted on a MS--owned domain.

People tend to believe things in print simply because they were in print. Now that we live in a communication age, where the barrier to publishing your bastard brainchildren is an opinion and the motivation to post it, there are a lot more competing sources for information. Not only that, there are enough relatively (say that with a straight face...) respected opinions/sources that this bias, conscious or unconscious, is exposed.

There has been numerous examples of academic journalism fraud, where the lower barrier has meant that garbage has made it into the pages of formerly respected publications. Remember cold fusion? In fact, editors are human, too. They want to see their employer succeed, and may make questionable decisions to favor the sensational, especially if they think that they need to act in a hurry to be on top of things.

People see this, and then when they go to a publication and find their political ox has been gored, assume that means a prejudice against their politics. They may even do some investigation, but it's investigation on the flawed premise called confirmation bias. A truly fair publication will wind up goring everybody's ox from time to time, but they'll lose readership in so doing.

We live in a different age now. Journalists have been exposed as human beings with opinions and biases of their own. The only thing I find shameful about that is that they are not open about it. There's a lot to be said for listening to other people's opinions, and as long as you understand the source, you can make useful assumptions about their content. I see a lot of people bagging on purportedly liberal and conservative outlets like the Guardian and Daily Mail; however, I don't think that either of them is as monolithic in their politics as believed.

In the DM's situation, I see it more of a tendency towards sensationalism than solid fact-mongering, and coupled with a hilariously poor editing and quality control (honestly, they must be paid by the word to go through the clickbait so we don't have to), provides more of an entertainment product than what used to be referred to as "hard hitting" journalism. When the article veers left, the cons complain, and when the article veers right, the libs complain. Me, I'm just there to wind people up, so I consider my entertainment dollar well-spent.

People say that Fox is bad, and others say that CNN is also bad -- I just see them as two competing mutual masturbation societies, each operating in their own little bubble of opinion. Both are laughably incompetent, and both pretend to be the last bastion of journalism, holding back the howling mobs of ignorance and prejudice. Respecting one or the other says more about your politics than it does about their competence.


Re: unexpected honesty

Frankly, they're both journalistic train wrecks, with idiotic sensationalism, opinion masquerading as fact, and carefully selected outrage at carefully selected and maintained targets. The main reason to read either is to go to the comment pages and emit/observe snark. Sadly, they're still better than the garbage we have in the States.

BOFH: Give me a lever long enough and a fool, I mean a fulcrum and ....



You'd need an advanced degree in bullshitology to dejargonificate the obfusticationization of mundaneological nomenclature declamated here. The amount of craptological terminoligification is rarely exceeded outside of airport books that functionally illiterate execs pick up and inflict upon their direct report casualties.

That microchipped e-passport you've got? US border cops still can't verify the data in it


The only news here would be that some people think that this collection of dim bulbs should be given more authority and control over our lives.

Bless their hearts: Democrats want $40bn to spruce up America's bumpkin broadband


Why thank you Subliminal Man

I enjoyed your informative article.

'Dear diversity hire...' Amazon's weapons-grade fail in recruitment email to woman techie



The SJW's infesting the HR departments open their mouths and a truth comes out. Not very often, though.

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY


Re: Benedict?

Yeah, one nation's traitor is another nation's patriot. Or, as I choose to look at it, another competent guy in the middle screwed by the bosses so bad he went over to the competition.

Human-free robo-cars on Washington streets after governor said the software is 'foolproof'


Yeah, sure, pull the other one

Anybody that uses the term "foolproof" in a non-humorous way is clearly unqualified to judge the efforts of fools on account of being one.

Short movie explaining what it's like to SysAdmin


Re: thanks, its like someother jobs.

Why, yes, there are no thanks for sysadmins. That's what a thankless job is all about.

Longing to bin Photoshop? Rock-solid GIMP a major leap forward


Re: GIMP: love it

The GIMP has done everything I've needed it to do. If I script, then it's Image::Magick, but for what I need, it's worth the learning curve.

Software engineer sobers up to deal with 2:00 AM trouble at mill


Re: What a hero

When there's trouble at the mill, you always should expect an inquisition.

Man faces 37 years for sarcastic post insulting royal dog



This place is going to the dogs.

BOFH: Taking a spin in a decommissioned racer? On your own grill cam be it


At last...

A good use case scenario for self-driving cars.

IT manager jailed for 5 years for attempting dark web gun buy


Re: "attempting to evade the duty on an imported item"???

Yes, that's how chickensh*t LEO's handle it when they think it ought to be illegal, but it isn't. It's also called 'selective enforcement', as I'm sure the law is applied the same for every package sent to a UK address from international addresses. Oops. Sorry, my sarcasm is acting up again today.

BOFH: How long does it take to complete Friday's lager-related tasks?


Re: I know exactly how they feel

That's what happens when you can't say "NO".

Kids' tech skills go backwards thanks to tablets and smartmobes


@Tom 7

You ain't just whistling Dixie. My mind's eye moved out after reading that.

WATER SURPRISE: Liquid found on Mars, says NASA


Re: Surf's up!!! Maybe, maybe not.

I'm putting that down as one of the stupidest scientific quotes of all time. You can always get a 1:1 correlation if you adjust your sample size down to the one instance where you have found life. Clearly there's no intelligent life in his office.

NOxious VW emissions scandal: Car maker warned of cheatware YEARS AGO – reports


Re: Today VW ...

I dunno, but the horsemeat scandal triggered a lot of people,


Astroboffins snap BREATHTAKING, WISPY Veil Nebula supernova debris


Re: Sir

If you were in a close position to view this, your view would be rather brief.

Excellus healthcare hack puts 10m Americans at risk of identity theft


Say, I've got a great idea!

Let's connect all these systems together using mandated legislation nobody ever read, voted in by politicians that don't know the difference between an email client and server, and are not able to tell "Classified Top Secret" data from unclassified personal emails, even though it was two separate computer systems, one of which was clearly labeled as a secure network, so the only way to take information off is to manually key it in.

I'd say that no one's that stupid, but, hey, it *is* the law of the land these days.