* Posts by JimmyPage

2997 posts • joined 5 Mar 2010

Verified: UK.gov launching plans for yet another digital identity scheme

JimmyPage

Digital ID is embarrassingly easy ...

... it's crowbarring all that 1984 goodness into it that's the problem.

Cyberlaw experts: Take back control. No, we're not talking about Brexit. It's Automated Lane Keeping Systems

JimmyPage

Most useful gadget on my car ?

The speed limiter. Job done.

No one has ever managed to explain to me why breaking the law should be some inalienable right without coming across as a complete cockwomble.

Microsoft, Google, Citizen Lab blow lid off zero-day bug-exploiting spyware sold to governments

JimmyPage

Devils tongue

Now why can't they write useful programs that well ?

UK gets glowing salute from Bezos-backed General Fusion: Nuclear energy company to build plant in Oxfordshire

JimmyPage

Let me guess ...

it's "10 years away"

like it was in 1950 .... and 1960 ... and 1970 ... and 1980 ...

Boffins show sleight-of-hand tricks to Corvids, find they are smarter than people

JimmyPage

Bird brain ?

Are avian brain cells different to mammalian ones ? Looks like they are more efficient ...

Insurance startup backtracks on running videos of claimants through AI lie detector

JimmyPage

I have to drive a fucking pile o' shite Aurelis as an insurance courtesy car atm ...

And without exception it's "smart" speed recognition system manages to see the "5mph" signs that are in the roadworks lane next to the 30mph stretch I am driving.

Which pretty much does it for anything "artificial" about trying to imitate (not simulate) intelligence.

"Is a wookie a bear ?" should be the acid test for anything purporting to be self aware.

Snowden was right, rules human rights court as it declares UK spy laws broke ECHR

JimmyPage

And ...

no one will see any recompense.

The government won't change what it's doing.

What was the point ?

China announces ‘crackdown’ on Bitcoin mining and trading

JimmyPage
Stop

BitCoin != "all crypo currencies"

#justsayin'

Train operator phlunks phishing test by teasing employees with non-existent COVID bonus

JimmyPage
Stop

More a test of critical thinking skills

I leave it to other commentards as to what it proved.

Mayday! Mayday! Microsoft has settled on a build and Windows 10 21H1 is inbound

JimmyPage

So that's Mays holidays pulled then.

... or you're just putting off the pain ....

Billions in data protection lawsuits rides on Google's last-ditch UK Supreme Court defence for Safari Workaround sueball

JimmyPage

Quantum of loss ?

As far as English law is concerned, I don't think anyone has ever actually sued on the basis they have quantifiable loss anyway.

Certainly in every story about peoples data being lost, I have never read of anyone being able to claim damages.

Maybe I don't read the right sort of newspapers ?

UK government gives Automated Lane Keeping Systems the green light for use on motorways

JimmyPage

paradigm shift

About 18 months ago, I was suggesting that autonomous cars would herald the end of private car ownership as a complex mix of factors started to align.

The immediate rebuttal from most was how much they needed to drive to get to the office and that it was impossible for them to avoid that.

Then 2020 happened and proved (what I knew all along) that office working is mainly by convention, not necessity.

The current shit state of electric cars could be fixed at a stroke if they were able to slope off autonomously at night to recharge somewhere sensible, and be back by dawn.

Court snubs Microsoft, US govt's request to throw out Amazon's complaint against JEDI cloud contract decision

JimmyPage
Stop

Maybe Amazon were just too honest

The trick to pork barrel contracts is to bid low, get the gig, and then when you've completely queered the pitch for anyone else suddenly double, treble, quadruple your fee.

So, if you want to make (say) £10 billion from a contract, you bid £3 billion. Get the gig (and politicians will love you as you allow them to appear as if they are saving taxpayers money). Run it for a couple of years and then turn around and go "oh dear, unless you pay us another £7billion, this project will fail".

Rinse and repeat.

I invite commentards to reply with UK government contracts in this vein, starting with Universal Credit.

Terror of the adtech industry iOS 14.5 has landed, and Siri can answer your calls ... though she/he can't hang up

JimmyPage

Not quite related ... but fucking irritating

Was (because I haven't tried since) how once summoned, the Google assistant needed a fucking keypress to go away again.

No big deal unless you are using your phone as a sat nav, someone says "OK google" and you lose your screen until an illegal keypress.

Where meetings go to die: Microsoft Teams outage lets customers skip that collaboration call they've been dreading

JimmyPage

Looks like I picked the wrong week

To get to grips with Teams in my new role

Origami... in spaaaaace: Inflatable folded objects discovery brings new meaning to blowing up buildings

JimmyPage
Stop

Mythbusters - lead balloon

Adam Savage had to devise a way to create a structure that could be made flat and then inflated (with helium) to shape.

About 10 years ago.

Exactly the same principle as this. Only it was lead foil.

'Unhealthy' Azure Portal instances in UK West take a little lie-down over lunchtime

JimmyPage
Windows

Looks like I picked the wrong week

to have to get to grips with PIM in my new role ...

JimmyPage
Stop

The phrase my dear late Mum would have used is that they're all much of a muchness

How not to apply for a new job: Apply for it on a job site

JimmyPage
Thumb Up

Indeed

With LinkedIn and Indeed being so easy to use directly by HR depts, there's almost no need for agencies nowadays.

Just finishing my first month having been contacted via my CV on LinkedIn directly. Registered with a shed load of agencies who managed between them the square root of fuck all. Turns out the CEO of my new gig doesn't trust them either. They have become yet another example of a layer that wants to extract wealth without adding value (see also: mobile phone resellers).

JimmyPage
FAIL

Totally useless since recruiters learned about "keywords"

I lost count of the number of "project manager" jobs - certainly on LinkedIn - that were simply sucker bait for MLM type nonsense/

"Earn up to £100,000 from home as a project manager" being an example.

I actually posted about it on Linked in. Ironically.

UK reseller sues Microsoft for £270m in damages claiming prohibitive contracts choke off surplus Office licence supplies

JimmyPage

Whiff of hypocrisy here ?

If MS were NOT the dominant supplier of Operating Systems and Office software, then this outfit would have no business at all.

Good luck using generative adversarial networks in real life – they're difficult to train and finicky to fix

JimmyPage
Stop

You can't have artifical *anything*

until you understand the natural version first.

Pretty much does for "AI" then.

Health Sec Hancock says UK will use Apple-Google API for virus contact-tracing app after all (even though Apple were right rotters)

JimmyPage
Facepalm

Now Apple denying all knowledge too ...

Tsk tsk tsk

BT reopens £90m UK High Court case over 1970s VAT 'overpayments'

JimmyPage
Flame

Hang on ... *who* paid the VAT ?

VAT is paid from the end consumer, not the company.

So any refund should go to the poor saps who had no choice when BT(or GPO) charged them VAT ?????

I never saw a penny of that VAT HMRC was made to "give back" on Jaffa cakes either.

Hope it doesn't torpedo BTs case, but they really need to learn about "unjust enrichment" .....

Appareils électroniques: Right to repair gets European Commission backing

JimmyPage
Flame

This jumped out:

While the UK, once actual Brexit happens, won't be covered by the rules it is unlikely that most large manufacturers will want to make separate UK-only Farrage-phones or tablets.

So the UK will have to just accept something made to rules that once it could help draft, but now can't ?

Remind me how "taking back control" works ?

Again ?

Want to own a bit of Concorde? Got £750k burning a hole in your pocket? We have just the thing

JimmyPage
Pint

Which was the bigger engineering challenge ? Concorde. Or Apollo ?

Bearing in mind some Apollo engineers said they were astounded by the air intake alone for Concorde.

And it flew regularly with civilian passengers unlike the rather showy one-shot Apollo with it's highly trained crew.

Although I'd be happy if we all put our handbags down and celebrated great engineering of the 20th century, whilst simultaneously weeping for the lack of development since then.

These all round ->

EU court tells prudish IP office to fack off for balking at 'fack ju' trademark application

JimmyPage
Thumb Up

Re: Grand Tour - Wank, Kissing, Petting, Fucking, Wedding

Officers in the Met used to refer to one of their divisions as the "Dirty division", because it covered Hampton, Feltham, and Staines ....

'That's here. That's home. That's us': It's 30 years since Voyager 1 looked back and squinted at a 'Pale Blue Dot'

JimmyPage
Thumb Up

Re: Crows are SMART.

Was amazed on a recent "Monkey Cage" to hear about Australian Eagles that deliberately take burning branches from bushfires, carry them across natural barriers (like rivers) drop them into the trees and wait for the food to start running out from shelter.

There's got to be Huawei we can defeat Chinese tech giant, thinks US attorney-general. Aha, let's buy stake in Ericsson and Nokia

JimmyPage
Mushroom

Hardly the US way, is it ? State subsidies and all that.

I hope this gets shot down as the socialist - if not commie - nonsense it is.

Artful prankster creates Google Maps traffic jams by walking a cartful of old phones around Berlin

JimmyPage
FAIL

So much for "AI" eh ?

that's all really.

El Reg tries – and fails – to get its talons on a Brexit tea towel

JimmyPage
Mushroom

RE: Haven't got time to check the details

spoken like a true Brexiteer ....

And you're wrong too. Thales have outsourced it to Poland.

JimmyPage
Stop

RE: New Blue Passports are being Fabrique en France rather than Built in Blighty?

Actually they're not. Thales (the French company that won the gig) took the decision to further outsource it to Poland, as it's not something they regard as a big deal.

https://www.connexionfrance.com/French-news/Brexit/French-firm-defends-UK-passport-jobs-in-Poland

The Daily Mail did briefly try and run an outraged story about poor working conditions in Poland, before it dawned on them what they were really saying. Normal service has been resumed.

Over the Moon? Not quite: NASA boss has a good whinge about 'counterproductive' Authorization Bill

JimmyPage
Thumb Up

Re: the POTUS would have been riding in a SR-71 Blackbird.

It's not too late .....

Ever wondered what Microsoft really thought about the iPad? Ex-Windows boss spills beans

JimmyPage
Mushroom

Fuck all sympathy from me

Microsoft had a killer platform in Windows Mobile. Decent hardware too. Absolutely pissed all over Android.

Rather than actually support it and push it, they let it fall victim to some weird suicide cult.

Judge snubs IT outsourcers' plea to Alt-F4 tougher H-1B visa rules: Bosses told to fill out the extra paperwork

JimmyPage
Stop

Unintended consequences ?

If wages in the US rise, it will make it a more attractive place for immigrants. Not less.

Why is a 22GB database containing 56 million US folks' personal details sitting on the open internet using a Chinese IP address? Seriously, why?

JimmyPage
Boffin

... but it's all publically available anyway ?

The problem is more it's aggregation and integration. Which leads to an interesting - and very valid - legal question about whether anything intrinsically illegal has gone on ? And if so, at what stage ? The actual gathering (of public data ?). The aggregation ? The integration ? Or the scale ?

JimmyPage
Stop

Re: UK Government for robbing the EU Schengen Database

Er, WTF was the UK - proudly not and never going to be a member of Schengen - doing with a copy of that database ?

Ministry of Justice bod jailed for stealing £1.7m with fake IT consulting contract

JimmyPage
FAIL

Re: "Sophisticated." RU f**king kidding me?

The prosecution (on behalf of the scammed) are obliged to say this. After all if they trumpeted to all and sundry how easy it was, the court case becomes an advert, not a deterrent.

It's the same with people growing the odd cannabis plant. All of a sudden a timer a pump and a carbon filter becomes a "highly sophisticated setup". Simple cross-breeding becomes "genetic engineering" and paying your electricity bill becomes a move "designed to evade detection".

If at first you don't succeed, pry, pry again: Feds once again demand Apple unlock encrypted iPhones in yet another terrorism case

JimmyPage

Russian dolls ?

It would be ... interesting if Apple were able to provide the ability to decrypt the phones contents, only for the FBI to discover that the deceased perp rather unsportingly went a step further and made sure that whatever he was storing on the phone was already encrypted with something like proper 4096-bit RSA/AES clout.

Here we go again: Software nasties slip into Google Play, exploit make-me-root Android flaw for maximum pwnage

JimmyPage

One reason why I prefer websites to apps.

Although there are 999 others too.

Google Chrome will check for leaked credentials every time you sign in anywhere

JimmyPage
Flame

Is this *another* attempt to smother me in Gmail shit ?

If so, please, please, please

Fuck

Right

Off

Uncle Sam challenged in court for slurping social media info on 'millions' of visa applicants

JimmyPage
Stop

What is "social media" anyway ?

Usenet ?

IRC ?

Web forums (such as UbuntuForums, or any number of website webforums ?)

How about forums you may be registered on, but have never posted on, and never looked at ?

Garbage In, Garbage Out.

Irish eyes aren't smiling after govt blows €1m on mega-printer too big for parliament's doors

JimmyPage
Thumb Up

Re: That sounds like feature creep to me

A time reminder that "Pentagon Wars" was really a documentary ...

Who loves Brexit? Irish distributors ... after their sales jump by a third

JimmyPage
Mushroom

MORE winning ?

If this is what winning looks like, perhaps we need a lot less of it ?

High Court dismisses nameless Google Right To Be Forgotten sueball man... yes, again

JimmyPage
WTF?

He has also clearly caused significant costs to be incurred by the defendant.

How ? In the name of all that's holy, how ?

English law is designed to keep poor people out of the courts as plaintiffs. So how has this character managed to drag one of the worlds biggest companies into court 10 times without having to put up some sort of bond ?

If you or I tried to sue Google, the very very very first thing that would happen is their brief would simply file a motion asking that the court obtain assurances that we could pay Googles costs if we lost.

So WTF is going on here ?

150 infosec bods now know who they're up against thanks to BT Security cc/bcc snafu

JimmyPage
Flame

if (count(reply_addresses) > 10) GetAdminClearanceBeforeSending();

Now, where's my £1,000,000 ?

If it sounds too good to be true, it most likely is: Nobody can decrypt the Dharma ransomware

JimmyPage
Mushroom

Re: Parting more suckers from their money

Downvoted, as I really don't like the "they were asking for it" excuse that lets scumbags off the hook.

How about women, wearing "provocative" clothing ? Their fault for being raped was it ?

JimmyPage
Unhappy

It's sad that we can't get such "perfect" software

on the side of the angels instead.

Whoever wrote Dharma should have applied their talents to the tsunami of shit software doing the rounds in UK government circles, for a start.

Dough! Jobs microsite for UK's data watchdog set hundreds of cookies without visitors' consent

JimmyPage
FAIL

Recruitment agency turns out to be clueless.

Why is this even news ?

Is El Reg going to start stories on the sun setting later today ? And rising tomorrow ?

Boffins blow hot and cold over li-ion battery that can cut leccy car recharging to '10 mins'

JimmyPage
Mushroom

Re: Yeah - brilliant if you live in a city.

Er, didn't I state it would start in the cities ?

I also predicted:

However, you're probably best keeping this knowledge to yourselves. Any discussion in the wider world will run into the "it's all about me brigade" as people use their individual circumstances as a reason that progress will simply stop where it is.

So progress has to stop because you don't live in a city ?

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