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* Posts by David 132

5506 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

Sure, HoloLens is cute, but Ford was making VR work before it was cool

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Build Quality

Upvoted, because I find that fascinating and eminently believable.

In the "believe it if you will" category, two related anecdotes come to mind.

The first is something I read about Ford's takeover of Land Rover in 2000. As they toured the Discovery production line, one of the QA practices that horrified the Ford men was the process for testing the completed vehicles for water ingress. A tech would walk round the car with a high-pressure hose; if water was found inside, the car would be sent back up the line to have that particular leak remedied, then shipped to the customer. The obvious issue of "what happens if there's more than one leak" had apparently never occurred to them.

And the second is that old probably-an-urban legend about the Mercedes engineers at a conference in the 70s, describing their testing process for door seals. "We lock a cat in the car and leave it there overnight," they said, "and if it's dead by the morning, we know the seals are good & airtight."

"We have something similar," said the men from British Leyland, "We lock a cat in the car, and if it's not escaped by the morning we know the seals are good enough..."

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

David 132 Silver badge

I was using the word 'and' not to create a list or to indicate a join, I was saying the word itself and creating a pause afterwards.

Well if you insist, I'll regale you with a linguistic joke I heard from my grandfather many, many years ago.

Q. Can you construct a valid English sentence that has the word "and" five times in a row?

A. Imagine the scene. A man is painting a pub sign for the "Dog and Duck". A passer-by stops and tells him, "Oi, you've left too much space between 'dog' and 'and' and 'and' and 'duck'..."

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: Surely....

the whole cpuid bit sounds like something I'd write in my scripts...

Let me guess... the tale of how Cpuid fires arrows at lovers who don't use autocorrect?

David 132 Silver badge

Re: I propose something completely different..

I hear Esperanto would suit?

With eternal gratitude to Red Dwarf I know exactly one phrase of Esperanto. Admittedly, I'm sure I am mangling it through misrememberance, but I can't be bothered to bing (hehheh, /trollface) it:

"Bonvolo alsendi la pordiston, lausajne estas rano en mia bideo"

Which translates to "Your father was a baboon's Please would you send for the hall porter, there appears to be a frog in my bidet".

David 132 Silver badge

Re: For technical documentation we need

Finally a benefit of speaking German, which is far more precise as a language.

Ahem.

Lojban.

David 132 Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Gerund

...as any fule kno?

David 132 Silver badge
Trollface

Re: What about "leverage" as a verb?

We prefer our victims in sammiches or sarnies!

Just remember that it's only a sandwich if you slice it diagonally from corner-to-corner into triangles. If sliced straight across edge-to-edge into two rectangles, it's a butty.

And having poured my own tuppence worth of accelerant onto the flames, I shall retreat to a safe distance and watch :)

Unloved Microsoft Edge is much improved – but will anyone use it?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: And its only Windows 10?

Look at you with your dandy tool. Engineers browse with curl.

Actually, I only suggested wget for comedic effect. In reality, I can simply look at a URL and my brain renders it pixel-perfect in my imagination.

Unfortunately, the URL in question is about:blank.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: It's funny, the little things...

If you're on Windows you might want to check out StrokesPlus (www.strokesplus.com) - a rather good free mouse-gestures tool. Simply holding down the RMB and swiping left/right does a back/forward page navigation, for starters, and it's infinitely customizable. I can't be without it on any system. Similar apps exist for OSX and Linux, too.

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: And its only Windows 10?

There's only one real choice ... Lynx

Oh la-de-da, look at Mr. Hoity-toity, "I need a UI" over here.

Real men use wget.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: The interface is terrible

@Kristian Walsh I actually wasn't aware of the F11/Full-screen trick, but I'll be using it more.

I'm not sure why the article calls this out as a new and exciting feature - the F11 so-called "Kiosk mode" has been in IE and Firefox since as long as I can remember, and I wouldn't be surprised if it's in Chrome/Opera/Vivaldi as well. Can be useful when you want to maximize browsing acreage, or remove unnecessary window decorations (hence the name).

SpaceX releases Pythonesque video of rocket failures

David 132 Silver badge
Boffin

On articles such as these it's customary for someone to link to this book - "Ignition! - An Informal History of Liquid Rocket Propellants" by John D Clark (https://library.sciencemadness.org/library/books/ignition.pdf)

The pair of photographs on the first couple of pages kind of set the tone for the book - and the entire field. "This is what a test firing should look like. Note the mach diamonds in the exhaust stream.

And this is what it may look like if something goes wrong. The same test cell is shown." :)

Very much worth a read, even for a dullard layman such as myself.

Google to kill its Drive file locker in two confusing ways

David 132 Silver badge

Re: English? Simon Sharwood has heard of it

Fine unless, of course, you believe that "data" is a plural.

Obligatory XKCD

Apache Foundation rebuffs allegation it allowed Equifax attack

David 132 Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: @Sane ...

a massive breech like this

I think you mean "breach", unless you're talking about the back end of a gun, a colossal pair of trousers, or maybe implying that Equifax's security was a huge pile of pants?

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: An Attempt at Blame Shifting?

"Equinefax"... isn't that the site that provides endless trivia about horses (or maybe I'm thinking of eMule)?

"The hair on a horse's neck is called the mane"

..and so on. Unfortunately by the time I get to the facts about horses' shoulder blades, my interest withers.

Microsoft won't patch Edge browser content security bypass

David 132 Silver badge

Looks like Edge really will be the new Internet Explorer.

TBH, despite Microsoft PR's protestations, I've always just assumed that Edge is IE, merely re-skinned with a new even-more-dumbed-down UI and lots of marketing spin.

As I've said before around here, I use it to download Firefox on a new PC installation, and then remove all signs of it.

Twitter is just randomly deleting people's lists – and no one knows why

David 132 Silver badge
Trollface

This is terrible.

I find myself convulsed with an overwhelming sense of apathy.

I will now try to empathise.

"Those poor, poor Twitter users, thrown into this nightmare scenario. Oh, the horror."

Was that convincing enough?

Google routing blunder sent Japan's Internet dark on Friday

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Easy to do...

I should point out that there is a "tips & corrections" link at the bottom of this, indeed of all Reg stories, and if you use it to notify them of their unfortunate case of Inadvertent Acronym Confusion (AAD) they'll not only remedy it, but probably send you a very nice & polite email to thank you for your diligence.

I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: muhaha

Oh, behave!

Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: @Ian Michael Gumby Not surprised...

You can never have enough cat videos.

640 kitties should be enough for anyone.

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Microsoft lying about surface?

But WHO runs Internet Explorer?

What's that?

Oh, you mean that one-time-use Microsoft Firefox Downloader app?

Drone-maker DJI's Go app contains naughty Javascript hot-patching framework

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: "Once paid for, that's it."

Mrs 132 and I were in the old Oregon ghost-town of Shaniko a few weeks ago (well worth a visit, btw), and among the exhibits is a mid-C19th John Deere covered wagon (of the "Oregon Trail" sort). The thought of some hardy 1860s pioneer being told that he couldn't modify, improve or disassemble his newly-acquired wagon in any way makes me laugh. Compare with the company's current products, which as you say, come with an EULA that makes Oracle look like a bunch of property-is-theft-man hippies. Very depressing.

On the interactive web conference, nobody will hear you are a dog

David 132 Silver badge
WTF?

Um...

"Artificial intelligence techniques, applied to Cisco's immense collection of past WebEx sessions..."

Two possibilities.

1) the words "..from within their own company" are missing from the end of that sentence, or

2) this is yet another manifestation of the current corporate attitude to privacy - i.e, it is a mere irritation, a quaint social construct of the past like the wearing of hats and crinolines. And we're all supposed to shrug and say "well, of course they have the right to record everyones' Webex conferences... it's for our benefit so they can improve the product... if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear...."

Horsemen of the disk-drive apocalypse will ride upon 256TB SSDs

David 132 Silver badge
Joke

Lee D Magnetic history is absolute, 100%, anti-science, tosh. There's no way that a piece of magnetic material remembers where it used to be, or that you can recover - statistically or probabilistically - overwritten material on a magnetic medium.

But if I understand it correctly... if you dissolve the magnetic material in water, then take a drop of that solution and dilute it again, then repeatedly dilute it a dozen more times - then that water will contain a memory of the data.

Er, or maybe I've got my bunkum, codswallop, pseudosciences muddled up.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: FLAPE= Flash to Tape

Booooooring.

VRAM-to-tape is where it's at now.

All the cool kids are VAPEing, I hear.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: What do you mean...

Kryten: "Look after this. It's Lister's mind."

(Cat drops microcassette into tea-mug, Rimmer & Cat cringe)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpZiNO2CRtw

Infosec eggheads rig USB desk lamp to leak passwords via Bluetooth

David 132 Silver badge

Re: and this is why I'm wary of public USB chargers!

And of course if you are going to use a USB charging point in an unknown, unverified environment - use one of these delightfully-named devices or equivalent!

https://www.amazon.com/Syncstop-The-Original-USB-Condom/dp/B01N0HCJOW

New Amiga to go on sale in late 2017

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

PAH! SCSI or death! :-)

Happened more often than you think - every SCSI installation involved a Terminator.

London Mayor slams YouTube over failure to remove 'shocking' violent gang vids

David 132 Silver badge

@Ledswinger "Surely it's part and parcel of living in a... squalid urban shit hole?

To paraphrase Pratchett, who was in turn paraphrasing Dr Johnson: "When one is tired of London, one is tired of ankle-deep slurry."

Ghastly place.

Programmer's < fumble jeopardizes thousands of medical reports

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Looks like...

...the code review was less than diligent.

I'd make a cheap pun but I'm greater than that.

Windows Subsystem for Linux to debut in Windows 10 Fall Creators Update

David 132 Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Windows is a fish

Specifically, a "Flounder".

c:\windows> powershell -command "$totalsize=[long]0;gci -File -r -fo -ea Silent|%{$totalsize+=$_.Length};$totalsize"

32206581760 aka 32GB

I'd say Windows 10 these days is more of a bloater.

Twitter's twits turned troll's tech taunt into thought-provoking tonic

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Poor show, editor.

You should have captioned the picture of the "mean tweet" sticker

"The sticker that kickstarted it all"

(hint: look at the user's profile image, and ask any Amiga fan)

But yeah, I agree with the commenter above - who uses TwitFaceSpaceChat anyway? What a load of narcissistic fappery.

Security robot falls into pond after failing to spot stairs or water

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Roomba

Round and round the rugged rug, the robot Roomba roamed...

Darn it, now you've reminded me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9arcRujTBc

RIP Kenneth Williams.

UK government's war on e-cigs is over

David 132 Silver badge

Re: No vaping in the workplace please

Can somebody pay a visit to bombastic bob's home and check his garden for suspicious pods?

That's four or five posts of his I've seen in this thread where he's been entirely reasonable, rational, well-informed and sane.

Because even BB would struggle to get mentions of "slurp" and "win-10-nic" into a thread about e-cigs?

Though I admit, the random capitalization OF words might BE easier to WORK into this thread, he's missed a TRICK there...

Burglary in mind? Easy, just pwn the home alarm

David 132 Silver badge

"Showing their age"?

It's Monday, and infosec-watchers are showing their age by calling internet of things security disclosures “a broken record”.

Yeah, all the cool kids now use the phrase "a corrupt M4A file"

/rolls eyes

OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Who's of thunk it

Nothing special about that. I often pay escorts to download music and movies. It's a win all around.

I used to have an escort, but I gave it the boot.

Now it's an Orion.

David 132 Silver badge

Looks at title

Thinks: "I bet me a pint I can guess who wrote that"

Looks

"Yup"

Don't be so sure - the word "freetard" wasn't used even once, so it was obviously written by an imposter & not the real Orlowski.

The great phone squeeze wheeze: Getting squidgy with HTC's U11

David 132 Silver badge
Headmaster

"range"?

EE and O2 range the device.

I never knew that "range" could be used as a verb. Such abuses of the language irate me.

Microsoft drops Office 365 for biz. Now it's just Microsoft 365. Word

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: What is Microsoft 365?

....dows that mean all customers must upgrade to an XBOX 365?

No, but when the battery dies, you get a bonus MSFT product - Ex-cell.

May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: No contest

Red Dwarf for the win. Smeg all the others.

And its near-cousin, Hyperdrive.

"You have done a bad thing. We are going to re-habilitate you.

Watch the kitten. She does not question authority! Be like the happy kitten!

And look! Another kitten, sitting in a hat! What a lovely world it is where kittens can sit in hats!"

David 132 Silver badge
Pint

Meh

The Star Wars trilogy was OK, I guess (apart from the one with the wombles). Such a shame they didn't make any more after RoTJ.

I will now simultaneously put my fingers in my ears and don my flameproof suit.

Beer, because it's Friday afternoon and we shouldn't take life too seriously.

Master of Dredd: Judge inker John Higgins speaks to The Reg

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Started at Prog 13...

I think one of my fave Dredd moments was when confronted by a man who could change into a man sized fly if he smelt rooting food. I can't quite remember all the exact dialogue.

It's possible nay probable that I am confusing it with another story, but ISTR the title of that one (or maybe it was just a badge the protagonist wore?) was "I'm Manny, Me Fly". It took years before I discovered 10cc and "got" that particular reference!

BTW will I lose all squaxx dek Thargo credibility points if I admit that I rather like the Stallone version of Dredd?

Well, that escalated quickly: Qualcomm demands iPhone, iPad sales ban in America

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why does the final product price determine the royalty?

Did you actually think about that before you posted?

Spend £10 producing a bit of kit, throwing it in the bin to save maybe £1

No no, I think he's onto something - it sounds like a great way for Apple to make a small fortune.

Of course, it presupposes that they start beforehand with a large fortune...

Microsoft boasted it had rebuilt Skype 'from the ground up'. Instead, it should have buried it

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I face a dilemma.

AC And best of luck to your friend.

Thank you for your simple, touching gesture of humanity. Very rare on Internet forums where everyone's usually too angry and convinced they're right to stop, pause, and reflect that we're all human beings... well, apart from those who are dogs, but on the Internet no-one knows that, as the old saying goes ;)

These are old friends of mine, and she just got a diagnosis of multiple cancers with a prognosis of weeks at most. Sucks, rather, and puts my own problems into perspective. May no-one here ever be faced with the same situation.

David 132 Silver badge
Boffin

Re: midas != microsoft

That would explain a lot, given a hell of a lot of Millennial Pacific Northwest/West Coast engineers also happen to be hipsters...or at least do a damn good imitation.

I'm in Portland Oregon, which is pretty much Hipster Ground Zero. It's a fun place, but there sure is a surfeit of plaid lumberjack shirts, NHS glasses and olde timey moustaches (and that's just the females, ahaha).

On the plus side, the Rick & Morty Road Trip came to town last week, and I'm sure that doesn't happen in Solihull or Reading. Wubba lubba dub dub!

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: a colleague skyped me..

you type cemeont instead of "cement". Instead of offering "cement" it will offer "common/recount/covet/duvet/moment/.." anything you could think of except "cement"

Thanks for the concrete example, but I suspect there's mortar it than you think. (sorry..)

If it makes you feel any better, autocorrect on ios isn't much better. Earlier today I typed "face" in a message to someone - as soon as I continued to the next word, it "helpfully" corrected it to "fave". So I deleted that and re-typed "face". Which it then corrected to "gave". On the third attempt, it allowed my intended word.

Is it just me, or is technology getting more and more shit as time passes?

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: I face a dilemma.

Why are you using Skype on iOS? You have Facetime.

Thanks for the useful suggestions. I agree re Facetime - it's good, reliable, uncluttered, and doesn't assume that I'm a tween girl incapable of expressing myself other than in emoji pictograms (albeit as someone said further down in this thread, it does seem to need higher bandwidth).

However, it assumes - correct me if I'm wrong - that both parties are on Apple devices. I'm on an iPhone, but my friends in England are on a PC and a steam-powered featurephone.

Cheers to those who recommended Signal (I've upvoted you) - will check that out.

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: I face a dilemma.

To someone who has no landline and needs to talk to me and see me with video to discuss her terminal cancer diagnosis, internationally from half way round the world?

You're so right that "stretching to the price of a phone call" is exactly what's needed. Why oh why didn't I think of that. I shall call the operator forthwith and request connection. Oh wait, this is 2017, not 1957.

Thanks for your "helpful" suggestion. Now fuck off.

David 132 Silver badge
Mushroom

I face a dilemma.

On the one hand, you're right that the reviews of the new Skype version are abysmal, and it strikes me as about as enticing as a puddle of cold sick.

On the other, I can't even use my existing version of (iOS) skype any more - when I run it, it just tells me to update and won't go any further. Typical Microsoft "let's keep our users on the treadmill of enforced 'upgrades' - that's how we'll get them to love us..."

The timing couldn't be worse; I just had some very bad news about a friend back in England and need to call her to offer support. What I need is a professional, reliable communications tool. What MS think I want is another &@%#! SnapBookTwitArseSpace clone (NOW WITH OVER 5000 NEW EMOJIS!!!!!")

Don't get me started on Lync aka Skype for Business, an app that thinks single-threaded UI design and blocking modal dialogs are still a good idea in 2017.