Re: Don't worry dishes...
For some reason I read that in the voice of Neil from The Young Ones.
Posts by David 132
5507 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2010
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WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed
OK, Google. Music in 2019 isn't what it was, but Play nice, will ya?
London's Met police confess: We made just one successful collar in latest facial recog trial
I won't bother hunting and reporting more Sony zero-days, because all I'd get is a lousy t-shirt
Wednesday 6th February 2019 08:30 GMT 
Re: The shirts can be trouble.
I once did an event for my company where the uniform they gave us for the day was a bright orange polo shirt. I made the mistake, on my way home, of stopping at Sainsbury’s to grab some groceries. What is (or was at the time, I’ve not been in there in years) their corporate colour? Yes.
I got asked by so many people for help finding things (“Do you have this bean lard mulch with vitamins?” “Do you have smaller spoons?”). If I were in a bad mood I could have caused so much damage to their customer service reputation that day...
Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price
Senior slippery sex stimulator sales exec sacked for shafting .org-asmic cyber-space place, a tribunal hears
Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'
Techies tinker with toilet-topper to turn it into ticker-tracker
El Reg talks to PornHub sister biz AgeID – and an indie pornographer – about age verification
Monday 4th February 2019 19:31 GMT
Re: This Identity thing is the key
Dr Dan Holdsworth: nice one UK Law-makers; you made a situation much, much worse through your actions.
To be honest though, I feel this sentence could be considered as standard boilerplate to be appended to any and all articles about UK government/politicians.
Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats
Are you a Windows 1 in 10 (1809)? Or a mighty 80 percenter (1803)?
Thursday 31st January 2019 04:59 GMT 
I feel like I deserve bragging rights, or perhaps sympathy, not sure which.
I have a device that - despite my best efforts - is still stuck on 1511. It's only a testbed/play device so I don't particularly care, but it amuses me that it repeatedly tries to update to 1803 and then the oh-so-informative "Something went wrong. Retry?" loop.
And trust me, using 1511 compared to 1803 is rather like using Windows 8 compared to 8.1 - both are execrable nightmares of "F*** you, users" but at least the latter is pretending to go in the right direction.
'Nun' drops goat head on pavement outside Cheltenham 'Spoons
Thursday 24th January 2019 02:33 GMT
Re: Alternative interpretation
Lucky it wasn't my old local down in Chelsea: "The Goat in Boots". That'd've been a bugger to get into a duffel bag, kicking and bleating and lashing out with hobnails.
I'd have interpreted that one as encouragement to release the aforementioned goat in my nearest high-street pharmacy, but maybe that's just me. Would certainly liven up the queue at the eye-tests counter.
Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?
Sunday 20th January 2019 05:24 GMT
Re: I can believe it!
Try dealing with the US healthcare system some time. To submit a claim for reimbursement: the provider invoice has to be faxed to the insurance company’s claims receiving dept. Who then re-fax it internally to their claims evaluation dept. who then decide that it’s illegible, and print out a copy of the fax^2, which gets mailed back to you.
(And ironically, the printed copy of the fax^2 is still perfectly readable to anyone with semi-functional eyeballs). Allow 30 days for this process; repeat, try again. Email is apparently far too advanced for them.
Bear that in mind next time you’re cursing the users who print their emailed PDFs.
Tens to be disappointed as Windows 10 Mobile death date set: Doomed phone OS won't see 2020
Cyber-insurance shock: Zurich refuses to foot NotPetya ransomware clean-up bill – and claims it's 'an act of war'
Friday 11th January 2019 18:11 GMT
Re: Eh, it’s Mondelez.
@MyffyW oh, I agree with you. I personally like Cadbury’s - or did, prior to Mondelez’ dicking around with the recipe.
I was trying to be even-handed...had I sung its praises without qualification, I foresaw that I’d set off a chorus of “but Cadbury’s is dog chocolate, you should try $expensive_belgian_brand instead”.
Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim
Thursday 10th January 2019 23:44 GMT
Re: Is Woz available?
Well, yes and no. I have a lot of respect for Woz, but he's an engineer, not a salesman. Jobs was a PT Barnum, yes, but he knew what would sell (at this point the probably-apocryphal story comes to mind about Henry Ford saying "If I'd asked my customers what they wanted, I'd have ended up breeding a faster horse".)
A company like Apple needs a leader who's part businessman ("what will make money?"), part engineer ("what is possible?"), and part showman ("what will people desire?"). Woz isn't that mix, and Cook certainly isn't.
There's an SMBC web-comic from a few years ago that for me, kind of summarizes what an Apple led by Woz would be like: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2012-05-01
Oracle's in-house lawyer denied access to Uncle Sam's procurement docs in JEDI legal battle
The D in SystemD stands for Dammmit... Security holes found in much-adored Linux toolkit
Killer superbugs in space... are something astronauts on orbiting science lab don't have to worry about right now
Senator Wyden goes ballistic after US telcos caught selling people's location data yet again
Jeep hacking lawsuit shifts into gear for trial after US Supremes refuse to hit the brakes
Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10
Wednesday 9th January 2019 00:08 GMT
Re: For shame!
Pffft, boot Amiga Workbench off an 880KB floppy and have room for pr0n in glorious 256 (I think?) color IFF HAM mode. Mutter mutter, uphill both ways in the snow, jumpers for goalposts, mumble mumble etc
(Yes, I know this is technically cheating because a lot of the Amiga OS was held in ROM. I will never let facts get in the way of a good off-topic ramble.)
LA Times knocked out, HackerOne slips up and – amazingly – router security still sucks
London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found
London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones
Friday 21st December 2018 06:32 GMT
Re: Something doesn't fly right with this story
katrinab ”They are too busy arguing about whether or not Corbyn said that May is a stupid woman to do anything like that today, and they are off on holiday tonight.”
As someone said in a letter to the Telegraph today: “First time Corbyn’s ever said anything I agree with - and then he goes and denies it...”
Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes
UK spam-texting tax consultancy slapped with £200k fine
Taylor's gonna spy, spy, spy, spy, spy... fans can't shake cam off, shake cam off
Apple to splash $10bn raisin' American bit barns
Fraudster convicted of online banking thefts using… whatever the hell this thing is
Thursday 13th December 2018 23:37 GMT
Well, he's been sentenced to a spirit-crushing 20 months, so... including time spent on remand, he'll almost certainly be out again by late next summer. I'm sure he'll be a reformed character by then who's seen the error of his ways and will devote the rest of his days to charitable works, soppy poetry, and helping little old ladies across the road.
No-one else is convinced by the Jesus/devotional postcard in the top-left corner of his device?
LG's beer-making bot singlehandedly sucks all fun, boffinry from home brewing
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