Posts by David 132

Controversies aren't Boeing away for aircraft maker amid claims of faulty oxygen systems and wobbling wings

Look, you’re nit-picking. Those Aldi party-poppers are a perfect drop-in replacement for the original deployment mechanism, and at a fraction of the price!

Revealed: The new icon you'll click to download an alternative browser, and more from Microsoft

Well to figure it out you’ll have to do a windows update Autopsy. And as for installing them all, who knows where the time goes? Just don’t hit the laptop in frustration because damaging it would be expensive - a million dollar bash, you might say.

(As for me, I’m posting this comment at nearly midnight... can’t sleep, hence rising for the moon...)

Is HONK nothing sacred HONK? It's 2019 and an evil save file can pwn much-loved HONK Untitled Goose Game

Re: Butt

I'd not heard of the game before this article, but will now give it a gander.

I'm not Boeing anywhere near that: Coder whizz heads off jumbo-sized maintenance snafu

Re: 767

Gloriously, as I write this your comment has exactly 42 upvotes.

Any further upvoters must risk being eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Trall.

Read the article again. It's all about trunk-ated documentation.

Re: 767

the worst case doesn't involve the car falling out of the sky

Ah, so you've never seen the Blues Brothers scene with the Illinois Nazis, then?

Microsoft welcomes ancient Project app to the 365 family, meaning bleak future for on-prem

Re: "It makes perfect sense for Microsoft"

Otherwise expressed as "why sell a piece of software to the customer once, when you can rent it to them and have them pay you for ever more?"

Remember the 1980s? Oversized shoulder pads, Metal Mickey and... sticky keyboards?

Re: Custardy

As in,

”Half-way through our divorce hearing, my ex-wife threw a trifle at me.”

“Did you get custody?”

”Very.”

HP scores $176m win in CD-ROM drive price-fix case – after one biz emailed rival with 'Price Fixing' as the subject

Re: Museum exhibit

Well, it could be worse. No photography allowed in UK courts of justice, so they have “court artists”...

“Here’s our hospital artist’s sketch of your X-rays, Mr AC.

Ignore the ‘here be dragons’ in the lower corner, she trained as a cartographer and got bored colouring in all that space.”

Not LibreOffice too? Beloved open-source suite latest to fall victim to the curse of Catalina

Re: How things change

Damn it, you beat me to it - ironically, I was wrestling with my iPhone which didn’t want to copy the YouTube link. Have an upvote! (David132 is offering you an upvote. Abort, Cancel, Allow?)

Nothing's certain except death and patches – so that 'final' Windows 10 19H2 build isn't really

Re: Aren't you thinking of

Das (Unexpected Re-) Boot.

Just say the 'magic password': Boffins turn up potential backdoor in SQL Server 2012, 2014

“swordfish”

Lenovo unfolds time frame for bendy ThinkPad: Pricey Windows PC out in summer '20

Re: I have it right here and you can have it in your purse

I use my arse as my purse, but maybe I'm just anally retentive.

A cautionary, Thames Watery tale on how not to look phishy: 'Click here to re-register!'

Besides, for a water company, they should be using the C language.

Sea? Oh, please yourselves. Tough crowd.

How bad is Catalina? It's almost Apple Maps bad: MacOS 10.15 pushes Cupertino's low bar for code quality lower still

Upvoted, but I am genuinely perplexed/disturbed by your phrase “self masturbating vaseline covered horse”... the mind boggles.

The safest place to save your files is somewhere nobody will ever look

Re: Been there. Done that.

And of course, while I’m polluting this thread with DP witticisms:

“I like to have a martini, two at the very most.

After three I’m under the table,

After four, I’m under my host.”

Re: Endless recycling

“What we’re talking about, in privy terms, is the very latest in front-wall fresh-air orifices, combined with a wide-capacity gutter installation below.”

...

“You mean... you crap out of the window?”

“Yes.”

Re: Been there. Done that.

Ah, the wonderful Dorothy Parker.

“Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea.

And love is a thing that can never go wrong..

And I am Marie of Romania.”

iTerm2 issues emergency update after MOSS finds a fatal flaw in its terminal code

Re: Classic

Let's talk about Cradle of Filth! They're actually one of the best contemporary dark-wave bands in the world. Not a literal cradle of filth though - that would be horrible.

Icon chosen because there isn't a desk-rabbit one.

Some fokken arse has bared the privates of 250,000 users' from Dutch brothel forum

Re: Way to go El Reg

And to this day, people in the US who are unfortunate enough to be allocated (xxx)-867-5309 are plagued with calls asking for Jenny.

Re: Way to go El Reg

Nuh-uh. Crowley developed Manchester. God - or at least, Aziraphale - was responsible for Shropshire.

The origin of Milton Keynes, however, is still contentious.

In a touching show of solidarity with the NBA and Blizzard, Apple completely caves to China on HK protest app

So courageous.

Creators Update meets its maker: It's 1903 or bust for those clinging to Windows 10 1703

I’d upgrade if I could.

I have one 2-in-1 laptop/tablet device that just won’t even offer me 1903; it’s determinedly stuck on 1803 - a virgin installation, no extra software at all. Must be some weird hardware or crappy firmware. Maybe I should contact the manufacturer to find out why it doesn’t play nicely with Microsoft’s Windows 10.

The device is called a “Surface Book”. I wonder who made it.

TalkTalk bollocked after fibre marketing emails found to be full of sh!t

How about bicarbonate of soda to pigeons. Are you cool with that or are you going to be a complete killjoy?

You rang? Windows 10 gets ever cosier with Android, unleashes Calls on Insiders

Re: Resizable windows

If by “standard tab” you mean switching away from the utterly pointless and space-wasting “extended view”, there’s a GPO to permanently fix that:

User Config -> Admin Templates -> Windows Components -> Microsoft Management Console -> Restricted/Permitted snap-ins -> Extension snap-ins -> Extended View (Web View) = Disabled

Scrambling for cloud relevance, Oracle hires... 2,000? Yes, that sounds like a nice round number

Re: Big Red Modus Operandi

Well, here's the clue:

The new positions will be based in Seattle, San Francisco's Bay area and India.

So that'll be 50 people each in Seattle and SF - and I'm being generous there - just for appearances, and upwards of 1,900 script-readers in the latter location.

MacOS wakes to a bright Catalina sunrise – and broken Adobe apps

Re: 'Trash' is gone

"The Pipperator", according to my UK English (Obscure Radio 4 Comedy) locale.

If you have a security alert, I feel bad for you, son – you got 99 problems but a hack ain't one

Re: Politicians have the solution

There's been a 100% effective technical solution available for years; unfortunately, vested interests - including Republicans, lobbyists, the Jesuits and Google, not to mention those bastards in the British Dental Association - have conspired to prevent its adoption. Scandalous.

RFC 3514 [ietf.org]

Oracle demands $12K from network biz that doesn't use its software

Re: Oracle so often reminds me of an Arthur Dent quote

Close. Grunthos the Flatulent.

Hmm. I can recall stuff like that, but never remember my nieces’ birthdays. I’m broken.

Now that's integrity: Bloke sinks 7 beers, turns himself in. Cops weren't looking for him

Re: American beer is like sex in a canoe

Well, give her credit for extreme bravery. I'd have thought that promoting Budweiser in a pub in Dublin is on a par with handing out Bibles in Mecca, optimism-wise.

Or to badly quote Good Omens, "The Burger Lord pathfinder salesman had been shot, 25 minutes after setting foot in France."

Boffins build AI that can detect cyber-abuse – and if you don't believe us, YOU CAN *%**#* *&**%* #** OFF

Sssh. Don’t dignify the spammer-bot with a response.

Two years ago, 123-Reg and NamesCo decided to register millions of .uk domains for customers without asking them. They just got the renewal reminders...

Re: Inertia selling

"Hello, Police? 123-Reg made a hurtful remark about me that I interpret as a hate crime..."

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Re: Windows 10 audio _never_ works properly

Microsoft should just replace their wonky audio system with PulseAudio or ALSA...

Ooh, them's fightin' words. Step outside.

Eco-activists arrested by Brit cops after threatening to close Heathrow with drones

Re: To our knowledge Heathrow has done nothing to warn passengers or airlines yet

Like running through the Heathrow Main Car Park, naked with sparklers in every orifice, wearing a bishop's mitre...

Careful. Wearing inappropriate ecclesiastical clothing is just getting into a bad habit.

Re: Drones

Probably also those styrofoam-and-elastic-band 2-piece aeroplane kits that were given away in birthday party bags when I were a lad, too. One of those sucked into the intake of a jet engine could cause massive, Michael-Bay-esque explosions and global chaos.

The thing to remember with the eco-loon crowd is that despite what they’d have you believe it’s not that they love nature - rather, that they loathe humanity and civilization.

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

For the longest time - and maybe to this day, I haven’t bothered checking lately - all Store apps would be totally buggered and refuse to run if you disabled UAC. I’m not entirely sure why MS put a connection between the two, but there you go.

Vulture Central team welcomed to our new nest by crashed Ubuntu that's 3 years out of date

Re: Unwanted

They’re called “USB data blockers”, or more colloquially “USB condoms”, and here’s one of many on Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00T0DW3F8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_TuLEDbGBCBS7W

Life tip: do not google for “USB condom”, at least not from a work device. Some sixth sense tells me that it would be inadvisable.

Re: Brave new world

Anyone else remember this BT ad from the mid 80s, trumpeting their efforts to keep phoneboxes in working order?

https://youtu.be/GBnM-HF-Zlg

A peeling solution to pothole has split the community... Yeah, they stuck a banana tree in it

Re: Portal to hell?

No, you’re thinking of Hull.

Easy mistake to make. One is the blighted domain of the shambling, tormented damned, and... well, you know the punchline.

Teletext Holidays a) exists and b) left 200k customer call recordings exposed in S3 bucket

Re: Teletext Holidays

Haha - I beat you to that joke (and, i must confess, the same Wikipedia page, just to make sure I wasn’t misremembering) by a couple of hours. Have a consolatory upvote!

That... is awesome. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.

My school had a (Acorn-branded?) Teletext decoder hooked up to one of their BBC B’s... this would have been around ‘84 or so. Ah, nostalgia. It’s not what it once was, you know.

Maybe instead of AWS, they should have given the contract to Oracle.

No, not that one. This one.

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

Re: WTH, WTF?

Well, true fact - “WTF” was thought foul. Whatever. Terribly foolish.

Good news Flash lovers! Microsoft won't be disabling it by default (so long as you use IE or old Edge)

Re: Shh, don't mention Comcast ..

You also have to use Flash to defeat Ming the Merciless and liberate Mongo.

Army Watchkeeper drone flopped into tree because crew were gazing backwards

Re: Starglider was better!

Yeah! Where’s the Fluent/Modern design elements? Why isn’t the text cleanly rendered in a super-thin font in pale grey on a blinding white background? Why aren’t all the nerdy wonkish options that no-one cares about (“trim”,”waypoint”,”speed” etc...boooring) hidden behind a hamburger menu or a simple, intuitive swipe-left-then-across-at-precisely-78° gesture? Where, I ask you, is the social media integration?? I bet it doesn’t even support colour emoji, let alone animated ones.

Bloody defence contractors have NO idea how to do software.

Back to school with El Reg - how about a chunky Lenovo for the student in your life?

Re: rip-off

Yeah, agreed. I read the article and as it went through the specs - 1.1GHz processor, 4GB RAM, 64GB storage - I was nodding to myself and thinking “yes, fair enough, it’s obviously a dirt-cheap disposable machine that won’t break the bank if little Timmy drops/loses it at school”... then I saw the price. £627? Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

US soldier cleared of taking armoured vehicle out for joyride – because he's insane, court says

So...

He was obviously insane to take the vehicle out, but as he’s had the good sense to plead insanity, that implies he’s sane enough to serve in the military. Quite the head-scratcher there. Would make a heller of a novel, if only I could think of a catch-y title...

Teen TalkTalk hacker ordered to pay £400k after hijacking popular Instagram account

Re: stopped his client from taking a job at a "multinational accounting firm"

Au contraire... given his apparent total lack of morals and inability to distinguish between “mine” and “thine”... I feel sure that he will be snapped up by Deloitte, PWC or KPMG in no time.

Re: only in the uk

@Paulf - I’m glad the story had a satisfactory outcome in your case, but I’m afraid I’m rather cynical about the state of law enforcement in the UK these days, and was three-quarters expecting your story to end with some variant of “...and after releasing them for lack of evidence, the police decided to prosecute me for taking pictures of the ‘thieves’ without their consent.”

Icon because, well, I’m obviously a grumpy old git now.