The Register Home Page

* Posts by David 132

5507 publicly visible posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

Seven 'no log' VPN providers accused of leaking – yup, you guessed it – 1.2TB of user logs onto the internet

David 132 Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Building your own VPN

0ew61eMr1XPV1Nel1lB70BU20czu0qyk1MLn02o8

0VrT0GCO0aoU02Sq00JJ0HCr0e9u0BYK00oA1gcA

1LNb1kcn18w00Nch0ly219QW1bpN08VC0AXo1PJu

0B4908ED1mr31U0=11zJ0A820OUy0IuV1XbX1K9u

06hw1FbK05qn1Eq00jjY1ICG0goU1Za70OFj1eSs

0lwl1O=90DGL0EQL168$14Bs1DJR0h161Ls=121K

19yC11MH0nm00CcN1PWc0qtT1lp01g$60T801eZQ

0Ye71Y4l0TTV0ZrA0xhl0eZp0l5m1Q851HR10UMx

1a1R00N=0v1e1avj0=jj1jA61a$m1ARn0t4T0rDb

0TGj

That is just depraved. You should be ashamed of yourself. That poor dwarf. How could you stoop so low?

Signed,

Your friends at GCHQ.

PS: You need to change your mouse batteries, you left your car lights on, and for what it's worth, that shirt really doesn't suit you.

David 132 Silver badge

So, recommendations?

Which VPN providers are trustworthy?

I use Private Internet Access (PIA) based on recommendations here & elsewhere; anyone got solid evidence that I should switch?

Here's why your Samsung Blu-ray player bricked itself: It downloaded an XML config file that broke the firmware

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

...then cover up the lower half of the phrase, leaving only glyphs that in Korean spell out "Go Stick Your Head Up A Pig" ?

Black hole destroys corona

David 132 Silver badge
Flame

JFC, is it possible to get through one comment thread, on any subject whatsoever, without someone thinking it's "cool" and "edgy" to bring politics/Trump into it?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Boggle of the Day

But surely in that case it wouldn't be black, but rather a particular shade of blue?

From 'Queen of the Skies' to Queen of the Scrapheap: British Airways chops 747 fleet as folk stay at home

David 132 Silver badge

Emirates pricing, Ryanair nickel-and-diming service.

Cloud biz Blackbaud caved to ransomware gang's demands – then neglected to inform customers for two months

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Or BlackBored, the famous apathetical pirate... "Yo Ho Oh What's The Point", "Avast Meh Hearties" and so on.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Blackbaud

PriestsSocksBaud

Imagine surviving WW3, rebuilding computers, opening up GitHub's underground vault just to relive JavaScript

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: DOS forever

Scary to think that GORILLA.BAS will be to a future civilization what the Dead Sea Scrolls are to ours!

Finally done with all those Patch Tuesday updates? Think again! Here's 33 Cisco bug fixes, with five criticals

David 132 Silver badge

Ah yes, Flash. A product where the number of bugs exceeds the number of features.

Or indeed, lines of code.

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Twatter bad

For possibly the only time in my life I find myself agreeing with David Cameron; didn’t he infamously quip about “too many Twits making a Tw@t”? (“Too many”, in my view, being any quantity > 0).

Google employs people to invent colours – and they think their work improves your wellbeing

David 132 Silver badge

Is that Battleship Grey or Military Grey?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Give me puce, any day.

"I like puce"

"You would!"

"What's puce?"

"It's like fuschia, but a shade less lavender and a bit more pink"

"Towser, sometimes I wonder about you..."

Go on, for 100 Internet points, name the film... without googling...

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Give me puce, any day.

"Surgical Appliance Pink" and "Baby Crap Brown" are two of my abiding memories of the 70s. Oh, and "Nicotine Yellow" of course.

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: The lack of u triggers me

As a Brit, I once asked an American colleague why they spell words like "colour" and "neighbour" oddly.

His response was: "We declared independence in 1776 and got rid of U"

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Is that a job?

“...if we’re to hit our target retail price of $149.99”

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why wouldn't Tim Berners-Lee have 17 years experience designing websites?

<blink>Under Construction!</blink>

Best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.0 at 800x600!

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Switching on the "monitor stand"

I’m glad that’s Somebody Else’s Problem as well as mine...

As the FCC finally starts tackling its dreadful broadband maps, Georgia reveals just how bad they are

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

I am shocked.

Shocked, I tell you. This is all news to me. Cable companies and telcos engaging in consumer-hostile behavior, gerrymandering the service maps and using regulatory capture to carve themselves a sweet little operation? Oh, the humanity!

Never mind. I'm sure that now Ajit Pai is aware of this and has the correct information, he will leap, LEAP I say, into action on behalf of the end-users.

And at this point I have to stop, I just can't keep a straight face any more.

Apple: Don't close MacBooks with a webcam cover on, you might damage the display

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: 0.1mm

This thread has reminded me of a joke I heard years ago.

Quality assessment engineers from Land Rover and Mercedes met at a conference, and were comparing notes. Specifically, on how they assessed the fit and seal of door/window trims.

"What we do," said the Mercedes guy, "is we take a car off the end of the production line and shut a cat in it on a Monday evening, with all the windows closed. If the cat has suffocated when we check on it Tuesday morning, the seals on our design are performing to specification and the car is worthy of our reputation."

"That's uncanny!" blurted his LR counterpart, "We have something so similar! We take a Discovery off the end of the line and shut a cat in it, and the car is good to go if the cat hasn't escaped by the morning..."

Hungry? Please enjoy this delicious NaN, courtesy of British Gas and Sainsbury's

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Butterscotch? Nope.

Damn you, now I am craving spam fritters, a Beefeater Prawn Cocktail, and Findus Crispy Pancakes!

David 132 Silver badge

Re: The current state of education?

I suspect the statement included “We will do the needful”, too.

Microsoft sues coronavirus phishing spammers to seize their domains amid web app attacks against Office 354.5

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: That much downtime?

It depends how well El Reg’s CMS handles 64-bit negative numbers...

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

That much downtime?

Article headline at the time of writing this: amid web app attacks against Office 265

Now, I know they've had a lot of downtime, and I've variously heard it referred to as Office 364, Office 360 and so on, but a whole 100 days? At that point, probably safer to host your data on a stack of knockoff Chinese 5.25" floppy disks held onto your fridge with a magnet.

Yeah yeah, I should use the "Send a correction" link, but this was too funny not to call out!

Cereal Killer Cafe enters hipster heaven, heads online: Coronavirus blamed for shutters being pulled down

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: might not just be about pouring milk on cereal

Or my mum's variant - melt mars bars, butter and golden syrup together in a large mixing bowl over a pan of boiling water. Stir in rice krispies. Spread the mixture out into 1-2" deep baking pans, chill in fridge. When the mixture is set, spread melted cooking chocolate over the top to a depth of 1/4", and then chill the whole thing in the fridge for a couple of hours. Slice into 2" squares and enjoy.

Mmmmmmm... I'm having something of a madeleine moment here...

Barclays Bank appeared to be using the Wayback Machine as a 'CDN' for some Javascript

David 132 Silver badge

Re: I'm smarter...

I hide messages in all my Reg forum postings. Encrypted, of course; I’m no dummy. Quadruple ROT13, to make certain.

MIT apologizes, permanently pulls offline huge dataset that taught AI systems to use racist, misogynistic slurs

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

It was classified along with the Fountain of Youth, El Dorado, and Bigfoot.

Things that theoretically exist, but have never been found.

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: c****e

Next we'll be renaming seabirds.

Nah. Just throw rocks at them till they go away.

Leave no tern unstoned.

Laws on police facial recognition aren't tough enough, UK data watchdog barrister tells Court of Appeal

David 132 Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Chinese propaganda?

Exactly. It’s China we’re talking about here, where as far as the CCP and State apparatus are concerned, everyone is guilty of *something*, even if it’s only the conveniently-vague “subversion”. Ergo the false positive rate of their system will be 0%, and anyone who suggests otherwise is in league with foreign agencies.

India bans 59 apps it says have privacy, national security problems. In a massive coincidence, they’re all Chinese

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

"fist fights"

" fist fights and booby traps"

...is underselling it just a little. Try "clubs bristling with vicious 5" nails", on the Chinese side, not to mention multiple Indian fatalities. Can't say I blame the Indian government for this; if anything, they're being VERY restrained.

Anyway, I'm sure someone will be along in these comments shortly to tell us how this is all the fault of Trump/Brexit/Boris Johnson/the capitalist system, right?

Detroit cops cuffed, threw a dad misidentified by facial recognition in jail. Now the ACLU's demanding action

David 132 Silver badge

Re: "the guard didn’t witness the crime personally, was relying on CCTV footage......

I’m only surprised that they didn’t then try to pin charges on him of “loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing”, “smelling of foreign food” and “looking at me in a funny way”...

Microsoft loosens Teams' necktie as platform courts your forensic accountant relatives

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Profanity Detection - needs work.

The only appropriate response to profanity filters is, pace Fry & Laurie, “Skank off, you pempslider!”

Good luck using generative adversarial networks in real life – they're difficult to train and finicky to fix

David 132 Silver badge

Re: An intelligent networlk

Hmm, I broadly agree, but there are instances where it is worthwhile. Peter Jackson and hus team did a pretty good job with the old B&W war footage when making “They Shall Not Grow Old”, and it really brings the images to life. If you’ve not seen the film yet btw, do it. Now. It’s incredible.

Australia's Lion brewery hit by second cyber attack as nation staggers under suspected Chinese digital assault

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Camra

Ale-Qaeda?

What does London's number 65 bus have to hide? OS caught on camera setting fire to '22,000 illegal file(s)!!'

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Were they the result of Spam?

Ok, that prompted a Rye chuckle from me.

ServiceNow slammed for 'tone deaf' letter telling customers contracts can't be tweaked as COVID-19 batters businesses

David 132 Silver badge

Re: We use Service Now where I work...

Oh diddums. Did the nasty stupid population not vote the way you, with your obviously superior intellect, knew they should?

PC printer problems and enraged execs: When the answer to 'Hand over that floppy disk' is 'No'

David 132 Silver badge
Devil

An unresolved paranthesis creates a low-level tension (that will stay with you all day.

David 132 Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: I think he was glad when I left

Works for me - if my browser screen is to be believed, I just gave the post its first upvote.

Yep, I went back, re-loaded the page in a fresh tab and the lone upvote is still there.

Bring back the Moderatrix!

How do you run a military court over Zoom? With 28 bullet points and a ceremonial laptop flunkey, of course!

David 132 Silver badge

Re: If sentenced to a Firing Squad

Powerpoint -> Insert Bullets

Edit: I see commentard IGotOut beat me to the joke further down this page. Oh well. I shall leave this here so you can all sneer at my tardiness.

Wow, Microsoft's Windows 10 always runs Edge on startup? What could cause that? So strange, tut-tuts Microsoft

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Remember when...

It didn't help that the status tray icon didn't always disappear if something crashed. If you hovered over it, it would usually go...

You’ll not be shocked to learn that this behaviour still occurs in Windows 10.

For example, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve wondered why I’m getting no IMs from colleagues even though Skype-for-Business/Lync is still running... only to hover over its system tray icon, which immediately disappears, showing that the damn thing actually crashed minutes/hours ago but fooled me into thinking it was alive.

845GB of racy dating app records exposed to entire internet via leaky AWS buckets

David 132 Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

“I’m just itching to meet you!”

“Let’s compare skin outbreaks... just pick a spot!”

Arm wrestle round two: Chinese outpost says it's fired the replacement CEO foisted on it by HQ

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

Welcome to China, ARM

What's that saying? "If you sup with the Devil, be sure to use a long spoon".

Hands up anyone who's surprised that this happened?

An Internet of Trouble lies ahead as root certificates begin to expire en masse, warns security researcher

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: What time is it, please?

Yes, provided you're prepared for your smart fridge to make a few assumptions thereafter for your safety...

ERROR41: This pork chop is from a pig whose grandmother hasn't been born yet. Temporal violation on bottom shelf. Discarding.

ERROR42: Waitrose Lemon & Herb Chicken on middle shelf may not be safe to eat due to thyme dilation effect.

NOTIFICATION: The carton of milk buried out of sight at the far back of top shelf was purchased last week and is fresh. Enjoy your Millennium Eve party!

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Of course if they weren't so greedy ....

steaming media

Best (intentional?) typo ever.

Windoze 10: New levels of tedium reached with latest Insider build while 'stable' release still a bit wonky

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

If Windows 10 "forgets" something like this, what else is it "forgetting"?

Ooh! Ooh! I know this one!

Your preferred default browser?

Your privacy settings?

That you disabled Web Search from the Start Menu?

That you don't want it to spontaneously uninstall any of your applications it takes a dislike to, whilst silently shoveling a load of Candy Crush Soda Clash Dolby Disney XBox turds onto your start menu?

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Windows 10 2004. Certainly seems a bit wonky + Older Nvidia Driver Workaround.

What annoys me is that if modern Windows Update detects a blocking condition that prevents an update, it doesn't tell you what it is, and simply fails to show the update. Unless there's a logfile somewhere non-obvious that I'm unaware of?

I finally managed to get 2004 installed on one of my PCs last week; what had been blocking it was a long-forgotten copy of an old, out-of-date version of VMWare Workstation that was buried somewhere under c:\Program Files (x86). It wasn't even installed; the files were orphans from some backup.

Grrr.

Remind us again, why work for AWS? Petty Amazon sues marketing veep after he defects to Google Cloud

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

How very trusting of him

"...throughout his tenure at AWS, Hall and his superiors operated with the understanding that the non-compete clause was not actually part of his contract..."

A verbal contract, as the saying goes, is not worth the paper it's printed on.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no fan of non-compete agreements and think they should be outlawed.

However, if there was one in his written contract, which he presumably signed, and all he has in his defence is "they pinky-promised not to enforce it!!", then I don't think he has a leg to stand on.

What he should have done is called their bluff at the outset, and struck out that clause in the contract before signing it. Or better yet, asked for a new version of the contract sans NCA "boilerplate".

IANAL etc etc.

When open source isn't enough: Fancy a de-Googled Chromium? How about some Microsoft-free VS Code?

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Don't forget Iron

Upvote for Pi-Hole. Excellent tool and every home network should have it.

Although, I have found that it breaks the Lowes.com website, which refuses to work properly unless I switch my device to an upstream DNS provider. It shouldn't need to be said that I blame Lowe's, who apparently can't design a website without structural advert-serving and snooping.

Developers renew push to get rid of objectionable code terms to make 'the world a tiny bit more welcoming'

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Context...

I was thinking of SMSing you a response - but that was just a pretext.

It could be 'five to ten years' before the world finally drags itself away from IPv4

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

Pity the poor Register, missing out. On Google and Thinkbroadband, the 1s are so much sharper, the zeroes are richer and fuller, and their webpages just feel more bright and modern.

Or alternatively all of the above is bullshite, and there is no discernible difference at all to the web-browsing end-user. Hence the stagnation of IPv6.