Posts by David 132

America's largest radio telescope close to collapse as engineers race to fix fraying cables

Re: Frayed knot

They should reconfigure it to work in the optical frequency range.

Y'know, so that it would be dealing with light signals.

HP: That print-free-for-life deal we promised you? Well, now it's pay-per-month to continue using your printer ink

Re: print-free-for-life plan was "an introductory offer,"

That’s a funny way to bowl a maiden over...

What a way to honour Bill & Dave’s legacy

HP’s founders must be spinning in their graves at what their company’s turned into. Yanking “for life” offers, morphing into hucksters for an overpriced-ink multilevel marketing scheme... way to go, HP.

Police chopper chasing a crim near an airport? Ideal time to use my laser pointer, says Texas idiot now behind bars

"...a pilot program..."

Ahaha. How apposite.

Former Microsoft tester sent down for 9 years after $10m gift card fraud

Plus if your Bitcoin has been through a tumbler, it's surely dodgy.

Fixed that for you. Maybe I’m just too cynical after the never-ending litany of stories about Bitcoin being used for crime.

Re: "Just like the Richard Prior character in Superman 2!"

And what really looked suspicious was that he then did exactly the same thing in Superman III as well!

Paging Doctor Blue: Attaching a Thunderbolt NVMe SSD can make Windows 10 poorly

Re: Respect my NT Authoritah

It's why it's good practice to have a desktop shortcut - bound to a hotkey - pointing to "shutdown -a". Think of it as the "no, this is MY computer, I decide when you reboot" failsafe.

Careful. We still have eight weeks of 2020 to go - still time for MSFT to release a flawless, end-user focused update.

To be accompanied by: the spectacle of War, Famine, Pollution and DEATH riding across the skies; plagues of frog; dogs & cats sleeping together; and there must be one or two much-loved actors and public figures who haven't yet died this year..?

Test tube babies: Virgin Hyperloop pops pair of staffers in a pod, shoots them along 500m vacuum tunnel

Re: Logistical Challenges

It's sad/worrying/gratifying that I knew what that link was going to be, even before I clicked it.

"What's a 'tad'?"

"In space terms, about half a million miles..."

We've made it: Microsoft deems El Reg relevant enough to have a play with the nerfed version of its upcoming Xbox

Oh, the embarrassment...

Still, we're hip and relevant enough for the hobbled version of Microsoft's next-gen gaming platform

I think you should sit in the corner for a while and reflect on the fact that you’re obviously deemed less “hip and relevant” than the Daily Telegraph, of all people, who were allowed to see the full-fat version...

H₂? Oh! New water-splitting technique pushes progress of green hydrogen

The real issue with Hydrogen is storage density. There are number of proposed solutions, but we're still waiting for one to take off.

Didn't they have a solution about 80 years ago that involved storing it in giant bags of doped canvas? That took off, as I recall. And carried passengers.

Foolproof. Nothing could go wrong.

I'll give you my passwords if you investigate police corruption, accused missile systems leaker told cops

Rice-Paddy's Wigwam?

Windows kernel vulnerability disclosed by Google's Project Zero after bug exploited in the wild by hackers

Re: People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms

Apparently writing "Raving Loony" in someone's medical records can get a doctor into trouble but CAAC (crazy as a coot) is fine.

The two medical acronyms I’ll always remember are NFN (“Normal, For Norfolk”) and PAFO (“Pissed And Fell Over”).

Did I or did I not ask you to double-check that the socket was on? Now I've driven 15 miles, what have we found?

Ah, so you’re a waffle man?

Right to repair? At least you still have the right to despair: Camera modules cannot be swapped on the iPhone 12

D'awww

"The Register has asked Apple to comment. We'll update the story if we hear back."

Awww. That's adorable. So trusting. The naïve innocence of youth. I bet you also write to Santa and the Great Pumpkin in expectation of a response!

Another eBay exec pleads guilty after couple stalked, harassed for daring to criticize the internet tat bazaar

Re: Poetry now illegal in the USA?

This is true*. I’m in the USA, and the Constitution mandates daily William McGonagall readings.

The Pledge of Allegiance now begins “Beautiful Railway Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay!”

Brave browser first to nix CNAME deception, the sneaky DNS trick used by marketers to duck privacy controls

Re: Sooner or later we're going to have to work out a way to fund all this.

And this response is brought to you by Tidymans Carpets.

"Tidymans - For The Deep Shag That Really Satisfies"

Researchers made an OpenAI GPT-3 medical chatbot as an experiment. It told a mock patient to kill themselves

Re: Congrats are in order.

How does you beat me to it make you feel?

IBM: Our AI correctly predicts onset of Alzheimer’s 71% of the time, better than standard clinical tests

Some people were just born with limited intelligence.

And some of us had to work hard to acquire it. Weeks of watching TOWIE. So many hours spent reading particularly stupid tabloid gossip columns.

BUT IT WAS WORTH IT.

Love Minecraft: Java? You'll have to learn to love your Microsoft account as well – it will be required next year

Re: Bye bye blocks

OK, that's now uninstalled. Next?

May I point Sir/Madam towards GoG.com?

Speaking for myself, I am currently revelling in the DRM-free delights of Worms:Armageddon, Grim Dawn, Carmageddon Max Damage, and Saints Row IV.

Got an irritating itch you just can't scratch? That'll be Windows wanting an update

Re: Bork...

If only it had been in another Swiss city, we could be making John Cleese jokes about a Basel Faulty PC.

When you tell Chrome to wipe private data about you, it spares two websites from the purge: Google.com, YouTube

Re: BleachBit is your friend!

Tried that, but the slythey toves continued to gyre and gymble in the wabe. Oh, and the mome raths definitely outgrabe, too.

First, Patch Tuesday. Now, Oh Hell, Monday: Microsoft emits bonus fixes for Visual Studio, Windows 10 security bugs

I followed your advice, and I’m now evaluating Office 358. So far I’m quite impressed with the Office 357 apps. Word 356, Powerpoint 355, Excel 354... yep, Office 353 is not too bad, and I don’t know what the criticism is about, it’s pretty reliab

Rambo: First Bork. Turns out John Rambo is no match for a bad CMOS checksum

I'll need to go dig out an emulator now

I've gone one better, and have a Sinclair Spectrum Next on its way to me, from the recent Kickstarter campaign. Definitely looking forward to playing this and all my other favourites from the time (Wizball, Knight Tyme, Zanthrax, Jet Pac etc)

The vid-confs drinking game: Down a shot of brandy every time someone titters 'Sorry, I was on mute'

Re: fish leather is a thing

And of course, there is the Russian armored luxo-SUV company Dartz, who famously offer(ed) whale penis leather as an upholstery option.

Re: Alternate reality

Hah, your anecdote reminded me of the occasion that a cow incursion happened to our neighbours.. coincidentally, somewhere around 30+ years ago. Small, or rather little, village just outside Chester. Either we’re talking about the same incident, or there was more than one herd of disobedient cows in the country at the time, which would be inconceivable...

If you can see this headline, you're certainly not reading it on Twitter: All tweets, notifications vanish

Re: does this mean

Civility? People seeing that "the other side" is human too, and just has a different idea of the best way forward for us all? A general realization that just because someone is good at sport/music/acting, their views on politics/the environment/race relations aren't necessarily of any more significance than anyone else? Politicians focusing on reasoned, rational arguments rather than a 140-character soundbite?

Nah. Will never happen.

Have a pint anyway, it's practically POETS day.

Microsoft will adopt Google Chrome's controversial Manifest V3 in Edge

Re: Quoting Mandy

When Google and Microsoft talk about “privacy”, I prefer to quote another Mandy: “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

We bought a knockoff Lego launchpad kit from China for our Saturn V rocket so you don't have to

Re: I am disapoint

I wonder how you go about the application for planning permission for a Saturn V launch tower?

Well, if your powers of persuasion aren't up to convincing officialdom that your Saturn V launch tower comes under the "permitted development" rules (no more than 2.2 metres high, not blocking the neighbours' light, etc etc), just build it regardless, on the principle that "'tis better to ask for forgiveness than to beg permission". Chances are the neightbours wouldn't notice it for weeks anyway.

LibreOffice rains on OpenOffice's 20th anniversary parade, tells rival project to 'do the right thing' and die

Re: "We were caught quite off guard"

Severeky.

It's that time of the year when Apple convinces you last year's iPhones weren't quite magical enough, so buy this new 5G iPhone 12 instead

Thanks for the headline, now I have an ear-worm

It's that time of year

"...now that Spring is in the air,

When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair

Make another song for Moronic Holidays

That nauseates-ates-ates

In a million different ways..."

If you too now have this stuck in your head... you're welcome.

BBC Micro:bit with boosted specs and onboard mic to go on sale from next month

Re: Sadly

...or have it scroll 58008, and just turn it upside down.

Re: One question

Thank you for spotting the same point that struck me.

The BBC Micro line was never "reasonably affordable" for the average family, not even vaguely so. The years have fuzzed my memory, but I do seem to recall that pricing circa 1984/5 for the various home computing machines was something like

ZX81: £79

Spectrum 48K: £129.99

Spectrum+ 48K: £179.99 (I remember this one very clearly, cos I got one for Christmas, after much pestering)

Commodore 64: £300?

BBC B: £399

And that's back when £399 was a lot of money (the equivalent of almost £1300 today, according to the BoE Inflation Calculator)

IOW it was well out of the reach of most families. But absolutely ubiquitous in schools, who must have been subsidised by the government to buy them. Certainly my school had a lab with about 15 Bs and, later, a couple of Master 128s. Mr Higgins, Room 1, right-hand side, end of the long corridor on the right just before the canteen. Ah, school days. Jumpers for goalposts, etc etc.

Morgan Stanley hit with $60m penalty for failing to properly decommission old kit hosting 'wealth management' data

Pfft, OK boomer, actually having copies of your music is SO last decade. All the cool kids now stream, for a small recurring fee in perpetuity.

But seriously though. I hate you :)

I can only hope it was 200,000 versions of the Macarena...

all different genres and time periods

...”Macarena as Waltz.mp3”, “Macarena (Renaissance Lute Remix).mp3”, “Billy Bob an’ his Good Ole Bluegrass Boys Play Macarena.mp3”?

Facebook doesn't know its onions: Seeds ad banned after machine-learning algo found vegetable pic 'overtly sexual'

Re: Support the Business!

I do my bit for the Walla Walla onion industry every year by getting Burgerville's seasonal WW onion rings and burgers... what more could I reasonably do :)

Re: Sexually offensive...

Honestly, I'm just disappointed that no-one has come up with the obvious "yes onions can be erotic, has no-one heard of the Lady of Shallot?" joke yet. Poor show, El Reg. Commentards, you have let me down.

Remember the days when signs were signs and operating systems didn't need constant patching?

...or a daft bookcase. Err I mean, a silly Billy.

Boeing Starliner commander Christopher Ferguson bows out of first crewed mission due to family commitments

Not right now thanks. I've just brushed my teeth.

It really is your last chance to see anything at Cineworld for quite some time, and this big-screen bork speaks volumes

I'm very fortunate that near me is a proper drive-in movie theater. They make an effort to recreate the 1950s look-and-feel, too - pastiche adverts / PSAs before the movies etc. They show a mix of older and new movies; for example, currently there's a Hallowe'en theme with Hocus Pocus and Beetlejuice. It's awesome, and the very antithesis of the soulless multiplex experience.

Yes, it's down again: Microsoft's Office 365 takes yet another mid-week tumble, Azure also unwell

Re: so karma does exist.

<Carry-On-Mode>

"Please, Matron, I was once a weak man..."

"Well once a week is enough for any man!"

</Carry-On-Mode>

Was he sent on a spool's errand or something? Library staffer accused of stealing, reselling $1.3m of printer toner

As the old joke goes,

“In central London, on average a man is mugged every 30 seconds...”

“...and he’s getting mighty tired of it.”

Windows 10 to let you know that your SSD is dying rather than throwing out a BSOD when it's already too late

And if your SSD is soldered down?

“Warning: Your SSD is failing. Consider replacing it.

Oh, sorry, because your system manufacturer is evil and cares more about margin than sustainability, your SSD is soldered down. Time to buy a whole new PC! Sucks to be you!”

Cloud biz Blackbaud admits ransomware crims may have captured folks' bank info, months after saying that everything's fine

Re: WTF!?

He’s a stakeholder in this.

Microsoft touts its Surface Laptop Go as 'cheap' option – but that price quickly goes up for useful RAM and storage

Re: 4GB is plently enough RAM

If it’s like the Surface Book Pro I had a couple of years ago, you have to disable Secure Boot to boot a non-Windows OS. Which gives you a giant red padlock warning symbol on the screen at every boot. Not a showstopper, but annoying... kind of nagging you for straying from the True Microsoft Way.

Corsair's K70 MK.2 does nothing a cheaper keyboard can't, but the steep price gets you top-notch components

Re: Why are they reviewing...

That’s why despite the protestations of my wife, I only buy the latest antiques, not those sad, outdated ones from years past.

Director of nuisance-calls company ordered to cough up £114k after ignoring £40k fine from UK data watchdog

Good idea. We should make murder illegal too, with stiff prison sentences for those that offend.

That would stop the murder problem overnight.

Or rather, the problem is not the penalties, but the enforcement of them, and people's perception of the risk of getting caught.

Re: Bring back publick stocks.

I was absolutely on board with you until that last sentence after the ellipsis.

You monster. (Still upvoted you though.)

Windows to become emulation layer atop Linux kernel, predicts Eric Raymond

Re: Sadly... this is the beginning of the end

Any particular reason you & your ilk feel you have to shoehorn politics and your Trump-hate into Every. Single. Topic?

Microsoft claims to love open source – this alleged leak of Windows XP code is probably not what it had in mind, tho

Ah, I was going to put that part in but figured it would be too obscure. Not everyone here has used a BBC Micro, poor souls.

One wonders what the source of this is.

Someone seated at a Windows XP SP1 machine hit the Ctrl+Break key, then at the ensuing prompt typed LIST?