Posts by David 132

Teen in the dock on terror apologist charge for naming Wi-Fi network 'Daesh 21'

Re: Weird

@Adam JC You should set it to GCHQ_Monitoring_Hub_117

That way, it would suggest there are at the very least another 116

Ahem...

German Tank Problem

El Paso city bungs $3.2m to email crooks pretending to be bosses

.

Dear Reg editors,

This is Iain Thomson really riting this mail. Due to totally legitimat resans including pregnancy and climate change I have changed my bank account, Please to dep0sit my payment for this article to my new bank account with the Bank of Nigeria, sort code FF-UU-KK, account number 5318008, thanking you very much

Singed,

Iain Thomsan

---- scaned by Nortonn Anti-Virus, 100% secure trustiness ----

Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

Re: "ways to trick the system inconspicuously"

Your definition of inconspicuous is clearly different from mine :)

"I don't know what you're talking about Possums, they look perfectly fine to me!"

-Dame Edna Everage

Survey finds 75% of security execs believe they are INVINCIBLE

I am scared, because apparently I think like Reg editors

I read the headline in my RSS feed and immediately thought of Boris in GoldenEye.

Came to the article and was gratified/reassured/creeped-out to see a picture of the same.

My mind scares me (which is why I try to avoid using it on a day-to-day basis).

What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

@Edward Clarke Sopwith Camel Biplane Fighter (1917)

Excellent idea (even if it does remind me of an old Fry & Laurie sketch, "What is the name of this camel who lives with you in Greenford?..." - does anyone else remember that or is it just something dark, vivid and unpleasant from my imagination?).

For my money though, the best aircraft for the Red Arrows would be the Bede BD-5, as seen in Octopussy. Although getting a display flight aloft in one would be difficult, given the colossal, heavy steel balls that would be needed to fly several of them in close formation...

Icon shows the probable resut of attempting to fly the Bede BD-5.

Windows 10 market share stalls after free upgrade offer ends

Re: As long as Win10 continues to be a piece of spyware...@Jess

On my W7 PCs I have uninstalled all the known "spyware" updates via the command line. I now only allow "Security" updates. The rest of the pre-ticked list get unticked and hidden

Remember... from now on, updates to Win7/8.x are being delivered as monolithic combined packages. No more picking-and-choosing. You WILL get the telemetry patches. Resistance is futile.

Coding will win you the election, narcissistic techies boasted to Hillary

They couldn't even proof-read their own slides?

"differentiate CS from broader the STEM efforts" (sic)

Nothing shouts "professional organization that has a useful contribution to make" like basic grammatical errors. Sheesh.

Sound-mufflers chuck acoustic sleep blanket at the noise-plagued

it merely adds more noise to mask out the background noise.

It plays a continuous loop of John Cage's 4'33". At a sleep-inducing volume.

UK will retaliate against state-sponsored cyber attacks, Chancellor warns

I think that blaming the Reed Army is a rather dry Straw Man argument.

It's so called because it always rushes into battle (with a cry of "wa-Hay!")

FBI reopens Hillary spillery

Re: Going French

I thought the French approach involved a big thingy with a heavy blade and an old lady knitting nearby.

And Sid James guffawing nearby as he talks about "kinky runners" with Citizen Camembert (the Big Cheese)?

It's possible that my understanding of history is a little confused.

@John Riddoch You can see the counts of executive orders by presidents here. [Obama]'s hardly the most prolific user of them

Oh, indeed, and I didn't mean to imply that he was either the first to use them, or the most egregious offender either. But whereas - and I accept that I'm generalizing here - the EO was in the past, a last-resort, this HAS to get passed in the best interests of the country, it seems to me that recently it's being used out of an attitude of I can't be bothered trying to justify this to Congress. Big difference.

The American people have to choose between a crook and a buffoon. I don't envy them.

Up until now I've believed that the best we can hope for is Hillary elected, with a Republican-controlled House (or even vice-versa) - a combination that would normally lead to stalemate. Four happy years of glorious, safe, stalemate.

However, Obama's increasing use of Executive Orders, whenever he wants to get something done without any of that pesky "partisan obstructionism" / "democratic oversight" (delete as applicable) doesn't bode well. Presidents Clinton or Trump will have a mechanism, and a precedent, for doing whatever the hell they want.

I'll be the first to admit that my grasp of American Civics is shaky at best. Any USians who wish to correct me and argue a counterpoint that it's better/worse than I think, please feel free to do so.

Locky-slingers summon .Thor

Re: And for my next trick

Ho ho.

Or the other old joke... the Norse god manifests on earth in the form of a mortal, and seduces a maiden.

At the conclusion of their amorous adventures, he stands up and bellows in a mighty, thunderous tone "BEHOLD! I AM THOR!!!"

To which the lady replies, "Oh yeth, tho am I, but it wath fun!"

Smoking hole found on Mars where Schiaparelli lander, er, 'landed'

Re: It's WAR

The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one, I say!

Ogilvy, is that you? And why do you sound like Richard Burton?

Yahoo! begs! US! spymaster! Clapper!: Spill! the! beans! on! secret! email! snooping!

Unpopular opinion time...

...I actually feel sorry for Yahoo on this one.

They were compelled by the US Govt to install this "snooping" technology. Don't think for one minute they had the option of refusing ("Nice company ya got here. Be a shame if anything happened to it. Like, word getting out that youse is dodging taxes or storing kiddie porn. By the time you'd proved your innocence, it'd be too late. Now, about this little snoop program we wants ya to install...")

Word of the tech leaks out, as these things inevitably do in this age of Wikileaks and Snowden.

Now, we don't know the scale and purpose of the NSA's request - at one extreme, it could have been "please send us plaintext of every single email, so we can scan real-time for suspicious activities". At the other, it might have been "we are interested in $terrorist_suspect_X, please just BCC us on the metadata of all her e-mails". Or anything in between.

The Internet rumor mill, of course, assumes the former. And who's to say it's not accurate?

But Yahoo are gagged - they can't come out and state what actually happened, for fear of those pesky National Security Letters. The actual truth might - I say, might - paint them in a far better light, but they can't defend themselves.

And all the while, their reputation and stock price take a hammering (OK, the news of the mega-breach didn't help, either).

Any US company that gets leaned on like this is put in just such an invidious position. Today - that we know about - it's Yahoo. Who knows if Google, Microsoft, Nvidia, $your-favourite-good-guys, are in the same boat, right now crossing their fingers and desperately hoping that word of their "voluntary co-operation" with the NSA doesn't get similarly Snowden'd? And companies in other countries, because don't think for one moment that the US TLAs are the only ones doing this...

Surely the real rage should be directed at the NSA for coercing companies in this way?

The Internet of Things is 'dangerous' but UK.gov won't ride to the rescue

Cyberaaaargh

"Cyber security research institutes"???

Here's a vote-winning idea for any party that wants to adopt it.

Make use of the prefix "cyber-" in relation to anything computer/Internet/digital-related... punishable by public flogging followed by hanging, drawing, being ripped apart by wild horses and then encasement in carbonite. As a warning, for a first offence.

It would get my vote.

What is this, 1994? Do all civil servants get their idea of the technology landscape from viewings of Lawnmower Man?

Microsoft tries, fails to crush 'gender bias' lawsuit brought by its own women engineers

I really hope that's just a few little typos and not an accurate portrayal of how long it takes the Reg to post a story. :)

I think you misunderstood the article - the dates quoted are, if you like, the "statute of limitations" on the case. In other words, the Judge has said that any evidence dated from Sept 14 2012 onwards will be admissable in the eventual trial (whether the evidence is valid, is of course, for the actual trial to decide). The plaintiffs had requested an earlier cut-off date, which makes me suspect that in at least one of their cases, the "I didn't get the promotion" incident occurred sometime soon after May 2011.

Shame on you for thinking that the Reg would ever be late to file a story! Repent, O ye of little faith!

Spinal Tap’s bass player sues former French sewer

Re: Best comedy of all time?

@DailyLlama: I thought comedies were supposed to be funny...

I can see you're being downvoted to oblivion for that, but I'll - sort of - sympathize. My own take on Spinal Tap is that it's intermittently funny - there are certain parts that are very funny, but let's be honest... extended sections of it are just tedious improv.

It's one of those movies that's funnier to quote & think about, than it is to actually watch.

"This one goes up to 11", and the description of the former drummers who all met nasty ends "Died in a bizarre gardening accident..."."... choked to death on vomit... ...they don't know WHOSE vomit, but it's not like you can 'dust for vomit'...". The Stonehenge set. The "how much more black could it be?" discussion. And so on. All very very funny indeed, but they don't comprise the whole movie.

For my money the funniest films of all times would be "Airplane", "Return of the Pink Panther", or "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" (the Caine/Martin one).

But hey, this is the Internet, where everyone has an opinion and the shoutiest person wins.

First look at Windows Server 2016: 'Cloud for the masses'? We'll be the judge of that

Honest question...

Really not trying to troll or start a flamewar here. The article points out that Cortana is missing, but what about other "controversial" aspects of the Windows 10 desktop version?

i.e., does Server 2016 have the enforced Windows Update cadence, or the telemetry/diagnostics stuff?

Good review, thanks. I am downloading the ISO from MSDN now to give it a whirl.

Nuke plant has been hacked, says Atomic Energy Agency director

@Mayhem I heard all they found was a single lemon drop.

And the spokesman has retired to run a chicken-farm with his brother, a former Met police officer?

What's the collaboration between hackers infecting a nuke power plant and some kids wanting glow-in-the-dark bollocks trying to sneak some stuff out?

I don't know, but the IEA is not confirming rumours that in place of the missing uranium they found a casing full of used pinball machine parts.

Windows updates? Just trust us, says Microsoft executive

Re: Yes, there are alternatives...

@Herby Back in 2009 at a resort that no longer exists (Tsunami did it in),

Slightly off-topic, but this wasn't on Hawaii by any chance? (the 2011 tsunami did quite a bit of damage to the Kailua-Kona region)

I only ask because the resort there where I married in 2009 was destroyed by the Tsunami. I've tried not to take it as a metaphor for my marriage.

Just wondered if perchance we're talking about the same place.

Let's not meet up with JPEG 2000 – researchers find security hole in image codec

Upvoted for the reference in the head/subhead.

...this is hardcore journalism, but I wonder if the common people will get it?

Apple to automatically cram macOS Sierra into Macs – 'cos that worked well for Windows 10

Re: anti-Microsoft rant more like...

some of us are actually looking forward to ArcaOS -perhaps the 17 year OS update cycle might actually catch on

I would think that with a 17-year cycle, the name "Cicada OS" (CicaDOS?) would be more appropriate...

Microsoft disbands Band band – and there'll be no version 3

Re: So I guess...

For a comment like that you should be banned.

@Steve the Cynic: I'll not hear a word said against MS mice and keyboards. I still use my trusty Microsoft USB keyboard-with-built-in-hub and MS mouse of uncertain but ancient vintage, and to this day if I'm buying mice it's MS first, then Logitech, then - a distant third - anyone else.

My moment face-to-face with Google's AI: It feels your pain, sometimes

Re: "Transporter Room"

Well of course the elevator's emotions were insincere - it was voiced by Spock.

Verizon techie sold people's call logs at $75 a head to private dick

Wait, what?

In exchange, Traeger said he received $50 per month in exchange for data on one or two customers per month, and more than $10,000 in total from the glum shoe.

OK, got it, I think - $50 a pop for "one or two customers", so $100 per month max.

At its peak, the partnership was netting Traeger roughly $750 per month and trafficking about 10 to 15 records at a time.

Or, $750 per month. And 10-15 customers. Which one is it?

I is confused.

4K-ing-A! Roku bangs out broad range of new streaming boom boxes

Watch out for the HDCP "gotcha"

I bought a Roku 4 device earlier this year, specifically for the 4K support. Unfortunately, discovered too late that my 2.5-year-old 4K TV only implements HDCP v1.4. The Roku 4 (and, I assume, these new boxes) demands HDCP v2.2 compliance. The upshot was that my Roku refused to output anything beyond 1080p.

This infuriated me to ears-leaking-steam levels, because I don't watch any premium content; all my *cough* "home movies with titles resembling commercial movies" *cough* are in unencumbered formats.

In my case I purchased an HDCP 1.4-to-2.2 converter box; about $100, it sits between the TV and the Roku and now I have perfect 4K output.

For what it's worth I bought mine from here:

http://www.hdtvsupply.com/hdcp-2-2-to-hdcp-1-4-converter.html

HP Ink COO: Sorry not sorry we bricked your otherwise totally fine printer cartridges

Re: Off the Christmas List

Well you're a bit of a loose Canon aren't you? A Sharp response, though.

Re: "the quality of our customer experience"

Yes. Just once, once, I'd like to hear a spokesweasel (corporate or government) stand up and say

"I admit it, I got greedy. I thought this was a good idea and that I'd get away with it. I betrayed your trust for short-term gain. I, and all my colleagues who went along with the idea, will be resigning forthwith and forgoing our bonuses."

I would also like a pet unicorn and a magic hoverboard while I'm at it, please.

Re: Sorry to hear about your miscommunication snafu HP...

Fine sentiments @Queeg, but don't say "class action". The lawyers get millions, and the affected customers ("please provide a receipt for the printer you bought 2 years ago, and a signed affidavit from the Pope to confirm that you still own it") will get a voucher for $0.50 off a new HP printer.

In fact I can see it now...

"HP firmware version October 2016

* We're proud to provide exciting new functionality. If your HP printer detects that you're trying to print an HP class action claim form, it will mysteriously jam and stop working. For your own protection and the enhancement of your HP printer experience."

The "timebomb" is what'll get them.

What really stinks here, and what seems to be getting minimal attention, is the delayed "timebomb" functionality.

If HP thought they had a perfect, uncontroversial right to prevent use of 3rd-party refills, they'd have activated this security measure immediately upon installation of the new firmware. And put it prominently in the release notes. Ideally, with a pre-install warning that highlighted the change.

But, no. The fact that they coded it to only take effect months later, speaks volumes - they knew it was controversial, would piss off a lot of customers, and was basically an "anti-feature" (thanks EFF for that term). By putting it in as a time-bomb, they obviously hoped that people wouldn't make the connection between "hmm, printer isn't working this morning" and "that firmware update I installed 6 months ago cos it said it fixed security issues and offered 'functionality enhancements'...".

Reaching for the ever-trusty-and-not-at-all-cliché car analogy: many car manufacturers "recommend" use of a particular brand of fuel "for best performance". Imagine if, at your scheduled service, Ford slipped in a change to the engine-management software that meant the car would stall and refuse to run unless filled with Shell V-Power(TM). But not until 6 months and many tank re-fills later.

Anyway. Scummy, devious behaviour by HP and they deserve all the opprobrium being heaped upon them. And the usual bland management-speak apology just adds insult - those anodyne terms we're so wearyingly familiar with from corporate and political culprits. "Lessons will be learned". "It is to be regretted". "Our customer's experience is important to us".

Gaaaaah!!

USB-C is now wired for sound, just like Sir Cliff Richard

Re: To the USB implementers forum, I say...

Pissed when posting?

Actually, I was stone-cold sober and would be fibbing if I seized upon that excuse. But thanks for the kind thought.

To the USB implementers forum, I say...

Congratulations. Some People will approve. The new cable gives audio and Power To All Our Friends. True, We Don't Talk Anymore when we're glued to our devices, but that's the way the Young Ones are these days. For those that think making devices more waterproof by removing ports is a bad idea, I say: Do You Want To Dance on your Summer Holiday at the beach?

(OK, I am now feeling a combination of extreme shame and self-loathing that I was able to come up with so many Cliff references just like that. Have a relevant Young Ones quote to atone...

"Hey kids. Stop snogging and pay attention to me. Cos if you're a wild-eyed loner standing at the gates of oblivion, then hitch a ride with us, because we're on the last freedom moped out of nowhere city. And we haven't even told our parents what time we'll be back!" )

Ordinary punters will get squat from smart meters, reckons report

Colour me not surprised.

I'd always assumed that the entire point of these "smart meters" was to allow the power companies to remotely switch off customers, in order to manage demand at peak time. The electricity supply network is now more about generating subsidies than generating power; between the intermittency of wind/wave and the complete fustercluck that is Hinkley, we can no longer guarantee to keep the lights on for all customers at all times.

Sinclair fans rejoice: ZX Spectrum Vega+ to launch October 20

Re: Hmmmm...

To really do Elite justice, you need a Lenslok.

Earliest ever recording of computer-generated music is restored

Re: Look Around You...just Look Around You.

Just be grateful they didn't have the program open the Boîte Diabolique and use the 19 Forbidden Notes.

Dutch bicycle company pretends to be television company

"Ditch bicycle company"

Interesting typo there. Opposite of a mountain bike?

Possibly they sell bikes solely for the use of bog-snorkellers?

I have reported the typo via the Corrections link, killjoy that I am.

'Faceless' Liberty Global has 'sucked the very soul' out of Virgin Media

Re: Hmm

@Shane McCarrick Pity there can't be a happy medium.............

Y'know, I always hear people say this, but it's bollocks. From everything I've heard, for example, Doris Stokes and Mystic Meg were both very contented in their lives. So it's perfectly possible.

Re: Ha ha

@Alan Brown Fake an american accent to be understood perfectly

As a Brit resident in America, I have to do that a lot to be understood. Also, I frequently get asked if I'm Australian, which confuses the heck out of me.

(There's a dog groomers' near me called "Muttley Crew". I cannot, no matter how hard I channel my inner J.R Ewing 'merkin accent, get Siri to understand that I'm not asking for directions to "Motley Crūe". Rock on.)

Re: I guess 200Mb upgrade was the last I will see :(

All my American friends gasp when I tell them I have a 200Mb connection at home

Here in Oregon, the best I can get is 15Mbit DSL for $45pcm.

I therefore hate you and you will not be getting a Christmas card from me.

Re: Ha ha

@Shane - upvoted, but my irrepressible inner pedant forces me to point out that the word you were looking for was "pidgin", as in "pidgin Spanish". Not to be confused with Pigeon, the bird and near-homophone.

The More You Know, etc...

IBM botched geo-block designed to save Australia's census

Poor IBM

Tried and convicted by a kangaroo court.

If we can't fix this printer tonight, the bank's core app will stop working

Re: Yawn

The article is a bit Mitchell and Webb

Personally, I'd pay good money to hear IT anecdotes in a Rowley Birkin, QC style...

"*mumblemumblemumble* POISONOUS MONKEYS! *mumblemumblemumble* VERY SHORT LEGGED *mumblemumblemumble* COMPLETELY WIPED THE DISK" etc etc

Re: Yawn LDS

In my time I was lucky if I wasn't strangled the ribbon.

Ribbon? You kids today don't know you're born. In my time, we had to wrestle and strangle a squid with our bare hands to get the ink for the printer. Flailing tentacles everywhere, and I tell you, there's nothing like the smell of freshly squeezed squid. I still bear the sucker scars. Thanks a lot for giving me flashbacks :(

2 in 3 Millennials block ads

Amen. I block adverts, not because I'm cheap, or a freeloader, or call-me-what-you-will... but because I don't want to risk malware infection or migraine from obnoxious flashing/auto-playing video/whatever.

Can we also hope that automatic geo-redirections will die too?

Here's a clue, webmasters: if I type "<yoursite>.com", I want to go to "<yoursite>.com", not ".co.uk" or whatever, you stupid cockwombles. Grr. The culprits know who they are.

Greybeards beware: Hair dye for blokes outfit Just For Men served trojan

Re: Silver hair / grey hair

FWIIW, in Cologne either is called melatenblond. Melaten is one of Colognes oldest cemeteries.

How cryptic.

Alleged buggy software wrongly flunks wannabe lawyers from bar exam. What happened next won't shock you

Re: "not make the same errors going forward."

It leaves the option open of making more errors going sideways.

Now you're just being crabby.

Excel abuse hits new heights as dev uses VBA to code spreadsheet messaging app

People were less suspicious in the late 90s.

Some people are still not suspicious even now.

Unable to believe that there was, really, an octopus glyph in the Segoe UI Symbol font (WHY, Microsoft?) I wrote a trivial Winforms app recently that just displayed the glyph, large, in the centre of the screen. Sent "octopus.exe" to my colleagues and they unthinkingly ran it.

And then I had to explain that no, it wasn't supposed to do anything at all. Isn't a large octopus in the centre of your screen reward enough?