* Posts by David 132

1528 posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

Just like when you 'game over' two seconds into a new level... Facebook launches Gaming app without games on iOS

David 132 Silver badge

Conflicted

Apple vs Facebook & Microsoft!

Root for the one you want to lose least!

Winner goes on to fight the victor in the Wasps vs Scorpions fight!

Geneticists throw hands in the air, change gene naming rules to finally stop Microsoft Excel eating their data

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: I must be missing something...

Or we just hand the whole problem off to those tiny little guys in pointy hats and beards who lurk around genetics labs holding fishing rods.

You know, the Gene Gnomes.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: I must be missing something...

The frustrating thing is that for txt files there is a nice import wizard

I believe I once heard David Bowie singing about something similar for this type of data - the “Gene Genie”.

That's how we roll: OWC savagely undercuts Apple's $699 Mac Pro wheels with bargain $199 alternative

David 132 Silver badge

Re: "Roughneck Dolly" from Wickes. Which is not a sex toy,

Anything is a sex toy if you’re brave/kinky enough.

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

I want to live in a world where you have to pour methylated spirits into your computer and give it time to come to a boil before you can do any work. And one of those brass spinning-ball governors on the top would be perfect!

Clue's in the name: Samsung's next Galaxy Note line captures scrawls with responsive stylus then punts them over to a PC

David 132 Silver badge

Longevity

From the article:

“My impression was that both are lovely handsets that will offer years of service...”

...and about 6 months, if you’re lucky, of updates and security patches.

Or am I being unfair to Samsung?

Chinese ambassador to UK threatens to withdraw Huawei, £3bn investment if comms giant banned from building 5G

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Excellent points and I’m surprised you have been downvoted so much... the chinese cents-for-clicks cyber army must be out in force today.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Not the optics Huawei needs right now

It’s called “Wolf Warrior” diplomacy and it’s not a tactic that’s winning China many friends around the world right now. Winnie the Pooh is undoing decades of good work.

Congratulations Peebles. Felicitations Queenzieburn. Openreach is bringing you FTTP (yes, they're real places)

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

lglethal: I read that as Queeniesbum, and thought someone was taking a biiigggg risk when they named their Village that!

Miranda Richardson as Queeny? "Cross my heart and hope to be spanked until my bottom goes purple" (you have to, of course, read it in the voice of Evil Prince Ludwig)

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Well. I've got FTTP, so there

“six rears”, eh?

The entire village lined up and mooned the BT exchange?

I suppose it beats dwile-flonking as a way to pass the long summer evenings...

It's been five years since Windows 10 hit: So... how's that working out for you all?

David 132 Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Monitor Scaling

Go through the executables and DLLs and delete every other bit.

Jeez, do I have to think of everything???

David 132 Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Vote Windows 10 for a fifth glorious year of TOTAL Telemetry.

M-many apologies, Voter Colonel... had I known it was you...!

Two large flightless birds walk into a bar... The pub's owner was not emused *ba-dum tsh*

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Upvote. That pun rocs.

It must have been love, but it's over now: Rockset tries to break up storage and compute, meet transactional, data-warehouse systems in middle

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Color me cynical . . .

I'm Spending my Time waiting till the hype bubble bursts, and Crash! Boom! Bang! it all falls apart and their linkedin profiles say "Sleeping in my Car".

(Why yes, I do have a "thing" for 90s MoTR rock/pop, how could you tell?)

Eye see you're having surgery: Origami inspires tiny, super-accurate robot surgeon

David 132 Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Good

There is, as always, a relevant XKCD.

Mysterious supernova is blasting far-flung galaxy with flashes of UV light – and astroboffins don't know why

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Not the good sort of supernova then?

an exploding and possibly radioactive white dwarf

So, not an exploding white dwarf that you’d want to get within 20’ of without lead shielding, then?

Shame. It sounded so tempting otherwise.

Fresh astro-underwear, anyone? Orbital shenanigans as Progress freighter has last-minute ISS docking wobble

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Only 3 hours?

On the other hand, it would add to the verisimilitude of the Disney Star Wars experience.

“That’s no moon!”

Did you see that ludicrous display last night? Bork pays a visit to London's Silicon Roundabout

David 132 Silver badge
Terminator

Re: MS is not the only culprit...

"It started with this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side..."

Seven 'no log' VPN providers accused of leaking – yup, you guessed it – 1.2TB of user logs onto the internet

David 132 Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Re: Building your own VPN

0ew61eMr1XPV1Nel1lB70BU20czu0qyk1MLn02o8

0VrT0GCO0aoU02Sq00JJ0HCr0e9u0BYK00oA1gcA

1LNb1kcn18w00Nch0ly219QW1bpN08VC0AXo1PJu

0B4908ED1mr31U0=11zJ0A820OUy0IuV1XbX1K9u

06hw1FbK05qn1Eq00jjY1ICG0goU1Za70OFj1eSs

0lwl1O=90DGL0EQL168$14Bs1DJR0h161Ls=121K

19yC11MH0nm00CcN1PWc0qtT1lp01g$60T801eZQ

0Ye71Y4l0TTV0ZrA0xhl0eZp0l5m1Q851HR10UMx

1a1R00N=0v1e1avj0=jj1jA61a$m1ARn0t4T0rDb

0TGj

That is just depraved. You should be ashamed of yourself. That poor dwarf. How could you stoop so low?

Signed,

Your friends at GCHQ.

PS: You need to change your mouse batteries, you left your car lights on, and for what it's worth, that shirt really doesn't suit you.

David 132 Silver badge

So, recommendations?

Which VPN providers are trustworthy?

I use Private Internet Access (PIA) based on recommendations here & elsewhere; anyone got solid evidence that I should switch?

Here's why your Samsung Blu-ray player bricked itself: It downloaded an XML config file that broke the firmware

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

...then cover up the lower half of the phrase, leaving only glyphs that in Korean spell out "Go Stick Your Head Up A Pig" ?

Black hole destroys corona

David 132 Silver badge
Flame

JFC, is it possible to get through one comment thread, on any subject whatsoever, without someone thinking it's "cool" and "edgy" to bring politics/Trump into it?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Boggle of the Day

But surely in that case it wouldn't be black, but rather a particular shade of blue?

From 'Queen of the Skies' to Queen of the Scrapheap: British Airways chops 747 fleet as folk stay at home

David 132 Silver badge

Emirates pricing, Ryanair nickel-and-diming service.

Cloud biz Blackbaud caved to ransomware gang's demands – then neglected to inform customers for two months

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Or BlackBored, the famous apathetical pirate... "Yo Ho Oh What's The Point", "Avast Meh Hearties" and so on.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Blackbaud

PriestsSocksBaud

Imagine surviving WW3, rebuilding computers, opening up GitHub's underground vault just to relive JavaScript

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: DOS forever

Scary to think that GORILLA.BAS will be to a future civilization what the Dead Sea Scrolls are to ours!

Finally done with all those Patch Tuesday updates? Think again! Here's 33 Cisco bug fixes, with five criticals

David 132 Silver badge

Ah yes, Flash. A product where the number of bugs exceeds the number of features.

Or indeed, lines of code.

Twitter says hack of key staff led to celebrity, politician, biz account hijack mega-spree

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Twatter bad

For possibly the only time in my life I find myself agreeing with David Cameron; didn’t he infamously quip about “too many Twits making a Tw@t”? (“Too many”, in my view, being any quantity > 0).

Google employs people to invent colours – and they think their work improves your wellbeing

David 132 Silver badge

Is that Battleship Grey or Military Grey?

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Give me puce, any day.

"I like puce"

"You would!"

"What's puce?"

"It's like fuschia, but a shade less lavender and a bit more pink"

"Towser, sometimes I wonder about you..."

Go on, for 100 Internet points, name the film... without googling...

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Give me puce, any day.

"Surgical Appliance Pink" and "Baby Crap Brown" are two of my abiding memories of the 70s. Oh, and "Nicotine Yellow" of course.

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: The lack of u triggers me

As a Brit, I once asked an American colleague why they spell words like "colour" and "neighbour" oddly.

His response was: "We declared independence in 1776 and got rid of U"

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Is that a job?

“...if we’re to hit our target retail price of $149.99”

IBM job ad calls for 12 years’ experience with Kubernetes – which is six years old

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Why wouldn't Tim Berners-Lee have 17 years experience designing websites?

<blink>Under Construction!</blink>

Best viewed with Netscape Navigator 1.0 at 800x600!

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Switching on the "monitor stand"

I’m glad that’s Somebody Else’s Problem as well as mine...

As the FCC finally starts tackling its dreadful broadband maps, Georgia reveals just how bad they are

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

I am shocked.

Shocked, I tell you. This is all news to me. Cable companies and telcos engaging in consumer-hostile behavior, gerrymandering the service maps and using regulatory capture to carve themselves a sweet little operation? Oh, the humanity!

Never mind. I'm sure that now Ajit Pai is aware of this and has the correct information, he will leap, LEAP I say, into action on behalf of the end-users.

And at this point I have to stop, I just can't keep a straight face any more.

Apple: Don't close MacBooks with a webcam cover on, you might damage the display

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: 0.1mm

This thread has reminded me of a joke I heard years ago.

Quality assessment engineers from Land Rover and Mercedes met at a conference, and were comparing notes. Specifically, on how they assessed the fit and seal of door/window trims.

"What we do," said the Mercedes guy, "is we take a car off the end of the production line and shut a cat in it on a Monday evening, with all the windows closed. If the cat has suffocated when we check on it Tuesday morning, the seals on our design are performing to specification and the car is worthy of our reputation."

"That's uncanny!" blurted his LR counterpart, "We have something so similar! We take a Discovery off the end of the line and shut a cat in it, and the car is good to go if the cat hasn't escaped by the morning..."

Hungry? Please enjoy this delicious NaN, courtesy of British Gas and Sainsbury's

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Butterscotch? Nope.

Damn you, now I am craving spam fritters, a Beefeater Prawn Cocktail, and Findus Crispy Pancakes!

David 132 Silver badge

Re: The current state of education?

I suspect the statement included “We will do the needful”, too.

Microsoft sues coronavirus phishing spammers to seize their domains amid web app attacks against Office 354.5

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: That much downtime?

It depends how well El Reg’s CMS handles 64-bit negative numbers...

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

That much downtime?

Article headline at the time of writing this: amid web app attacks against Office 265

Now, I know they've had a lot of downtime, and I've variously heard it referred to as Office 364, Office 360 and so on, but a whole 100 days? At that point, probably safer to host your data on a stack of knockoff Chinese 5.25" floppy disks held onto your fridge with a magnet.

Yeah yeah, I should use the "Send a correction" link, but this was too funny not to call out!

Cereal Killer Cafe enters hipster heaven, heads online: Coronavirus blamed for shutters being pulled down

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: might not just be about pouring milk on cereal

Or my mum's variant - melt mars bars, butter and golden syrup together in a large mixing bowl over a pan of boiling water. Stir in rice krispies. Spread the mixture out into 1-2" deep baking pans, chill in fridge. When the mixture is set, spread melted cooking chocolate over the top to a depth of 1/4", and then chill the whole thing in the fridge for a couple of hours. Slice into 2" squares and enjoy.

Mmmmmmm... I'm having something of a madeleine moment here...

Barclays Bank appeared to be using the Wayback Machine as a 'CDN' for some Javascript

David 132 Silver badge

Re: I'm smarter...

I hide messages in all my Reg forum postings. Encrypted, of course; I’m no dummy. Quadruple ROT13, to make certain.

MIT apologizes, permanently pulls offline huge dataset that taught AI systems to use racist, misogynistic slurs

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

It was classified along with the Fountain of Youth, El Dorado, and Bigfoot.

Things that theoretically exist, but have never been found.

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: c****e

Next we'll be renaming seabirds.

Nah. Just throw rocks at them till they go away.

Leave no tern unstoned.

Laws on police facial recognition aren't tough enough, UK data watchdog barrister tells Court of Appeal

David 132 Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Chinese propaganda?

Exactly. It’s China we’re talking about here, where as far as the CCP and State apparatus are concerned, everyone is guilty of *something*, even if it’s only the conveniently-vague “subversion”. Ergo the false positive rate of their system will be 0%, and anyone who suggests otherwise is in league with foreign agencies.

India bans 59 apps it says have privacy, national security problems. In a massive coincidence, they’re all Chinese

David 132 Silver badge
Facepalm

"fist fights"

" fist fights and booby traps"

...is underselling it just a little. Try "clubs bristling with vicious 5" nails", on the Chinese side, not to mention multiple Indian fatalities. Can't say I blame the Indian government for this; if anything, they're being VERY restrained.

Anyway, I'm sure someone will be along in these comments shortly to tell us how this is all the fault of Trump/Brexit/Boris Johnson/the capitalist system, right?

Detroit cops cuffed, threw a dad misidentified by facial recognition in jail. Now the ACLU's demanding action

David 132 Silver badge

Re: "the guard didn’t witness the crime personally, was relying on CCTV footage......

I’m only surprised that they didn’t then try to pin charges on him of “loitering with intent to use a pedestrian crossing”, “smelling of foreign food” and “looking at me in a funny way”...

Microsoft loosens Teams' necktie as platform courts your forensic accountant relatives

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Profanity Detection - needs work.

The only appropriate response to profanity filters is, pace Fry & Laurie, “Skank off, you pempslider!”

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