* Posts by Ginolard

54 publicly visible posts • joined 22 Feb 2010


Three non-obvious reasons to Vote Leave on the 23rd


If the Leave camp wins I sincerely hope the following happens :-

Leadership challenge from Boris and his cronies

Cameron is ousted

General election called

Labour win

Labour say "Well, we never wanted out anyway so, yeah, we're staying in thanks very much"

Brexit: Time to make your plans, UK IT biz


Re: This is ONLY about a few rich people lying to racists and little Englanders.

Not really sure why you're getting downvoted.

I'd wager the vast majority of people in the "Leave" camp have little to no understanding of how the EU legislative process actually works.

Being "dictacted" to by Brussels is laughable when you realise that it's each Member State's government ministers that decide which EU laws and regulations get adopted

Music lovers move to block Phil Collins' rebirth


Re: I'll Sign Anything

Dad of a soon to be 13-year old daughter here.

It's these little pleasures that allow me to put up with the raging she-devil that hides in her bedroom

Brussels taxi union to disrupt the disruptors over Uber service


Quite simply...

Brussels taxis are ridiculously expensive. I can only speak for myself but I'm just not prepared to factor in an extra €30-40 on a night out when I can get an Uber for half the price.

I'm really not at all concerned about whether they're licensed/insured or not. Quite frankly, I feel safer in an Uber than in a normal taxi (the way some of them drive is frightening). Until the normal taxi services realise that their pricing models are not competitive, Uber will continue to thrive. Basic economics.

Get whimsical and win a Western Digital Black 6TB hard drive


I really shouldn't have given up playing drums.

Return of the Jedi? StarWars.co.uk bod to fight the Empire (Disney)


Platini approved

It's MichelinGuides.com all over again.

At least that website was funny

Belgian minister set to legalise Uber


Re: Illegal actions are now rewarded...

I've been happily using Uber in Brussels since I found out about it. The taxi services here are stupidly expensive (€60 from anywhere in the city to the airport - a journey of maybe 15-20km) and they kicked up an almighty fuss over Uber in order to protect their cosy little cartel.

I've had taxi drivers refuse to take me because the journey was "too short" and not "profitable" enough. Well, fuck them then, I'm the customer and if a business isn't willing to offer me the service I want at a price I find reasonable, I shall go elsewhere.

Plus, taxi drivers drive like arseholes here.

Google Glass: Even the people who stand to MAKE MONEY from it hate the techno-specs


Re: I think Google has given up on Glass

I hope they rename themselves Booble in that case

Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug


The disappointment.....

Just reading the headline had me believing he had contracted the virus. Way to crush my dreams El Reg

Ingredient found in TASTY BEER is GOOD for your BRAIN


This is not news

Oh come on. This is hardly a revelation. I mean, everyone knows that beer kills brain cells right? It works much like a lion hunting deer. The lion will always go for the weakest, most vulnerable deer which, as a result, makes the deer herd stronger. Culling the weak ones etc etc.

Beer works the same way by killing the weaker brain cells thereby making you smarter!

That's certainly how I feel after a few pints anyway.

'This BITE MARK is a SMOKING GUN': Boffins probe ancient assault


Had to be done..

The lesser-known Suarezasaurus?

What the BLOCK? Microsoft to gobble Minecraft-maker 'for $2bn'


I'll call you...

Just another Notch in Microsoft's bedpost

Women-only town seeks men


Whipcrack sound

"But first they need to agree to do what we say and live according to our rules."

Aaaaaand, I'm out.

Devs: We'll bury Candy Crush King under HEAPS of candy apps


Re: Planning an adventure game

I too am also planning a game. The plot surrounds a group of octogneration fans of Canadian Prog Rock going on holiday and trying to solve a mystery

The Saga Saga Saga

Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister


One for the kids

I play a Numberjacks board game with my kids sometimes and they have these pieces called Buddy Blocks.

Some of them are blue.

Blue Buddy Blocks.

I take far too much juvenile pleasure hearing my 4 year old say "Blue Bluddy Blocks!"

Boffin says astronauts could hitch to Jupiter on passing asteroids


Just Cause?

Why don't they take inspiration from the Just Cause games and hook themselves up to an asteroid and let it pull them to Jupiter?

Dark HEAVY METAL star fires up jets, vomits hot ROCK into space


Yes I know he's dead

A small heavy metal star vomiting out rock?

Can't help but feel that NASA have missed an opportunity to call it "DIO-1"

Horny lovers FOSSILISED in steamy RUMPY-PUMPY session 156m yrs ago


Re: Next

I'm 45 years old and still partake. Does that count?

'I WAS AN ADMIN FOR SILK ROAD': Alleged hit-man target tells all



He hired a hitman?!?! Surely it would've been better to use iocaine powder?

Belgian finds missus was born a MAN after 19 YEARS of marriage


I apologise in advance

In the words of Bad Company that's "Good Leuven Gone Bad"

North America makes entry into dino fatty league


A new movie beckons

Giraffatitan vs Megaoctopus!

San Diego woman strips to bikini to look for her chihuahua


You can pretty much guarantee some guy has already found the dog and is just getting his money's worth before giving it back.

Swedish college girls now twice as slutty as in 2001

Paris Hilton

If the females are having more sex than the men....

....then surely it means the females are having sex with each other? Woohoo!

Paris because, well, I'm sure she went to university. *cough*



I guess that was....

...the most humble pie day of his life.




A glaring eror

I only smoke when I'm a pub, boozing. Hence, if I stopped drinking I would LESS likely to get cancer.

Pfft. These boffins think they've thought of everything!

Teens who listen to music a lot are at high risk of depression


You know what.....

....is REALLY depressing?

Listening to the music now that you listened to when you were a teenager.

a) It's pisses over the tosh that passes as music today and most of the musicians are dead (or as good as dead)

b) It reminds me that I'm an overweight, 40-something, father-of-three and not a teenager.

Still, new Journey album soon!

French mayor busts overly busty bust


Obligatory The Office reference....

French statues should not be punished for having big boobs. If anything they should be rewarded.

Green Parrot to cure YouTube shakes

Paris Hilton

Not the only reason...

Most of the videos I watch online end up being shaky and blurred.

Paris because she'd know what I'm talking about

Feds seize 10 domains accused of illegal sports streaming


Willy-waving contest. US loses

Do the US not understand the Domain Name System or something? I mean, FFS, RojaDirecta is already up and running again with 3 different domain names! Whilst Homeland Security were showing everyone the size of their balls and slapping pretty notices on homepages, the websites themselves were pissing all over them from a great height with their truncheon-like trouser sausages.

Man charged in bizarre EXPLODING VIBRATOR plot


Gotta say it II

Bet that's the last time a girl ever says "Blow me!" to him

Man caught w*nking over Alan Sugar's autobiography



Pfft. Every week, Alan Sugar toys with loads of cocks on The Apprenctice and no-one bats an eyelid!



re: Carried on with his round

Actually, the probably wouldn't have taken it at all because either

a) It was in the wrong coloured bin

b) It hadn't been cleaned before throwing it away (this still beggars belief!)

Google Earth steps 'seamlessly' into Street View

Paris Hilton

One track mind?

Is it me or does she say Google Earth Sex at around 0:09??

Paris because of something about a 3D bush

Sex.com sells for $13m


So seedy.

Is it really so hard to splash on a bit of cologne and go and actually TALK to a domain name? Pay it a few compliments, buy it a drink maybe?

People who pay for sex.com are just sad, seedy losers!

Custom superchippery pulls 3D from 2D images like humans


Belgium should be the guinea pig

I would heartily welcome computer-controlled cars here. Hell, hook up ZX81 up to each vehicle and it would probably do a better job than the majority of clowns that get behind a wheel in this country.

Devil manifests in Hungarian bathroom


Bad pun alert

The Devil Rides Grout?

Salvador Dalí style floppy iPad on the way, seemingly

Paris Hilton

Sexist? Me?

But I've already got a soft and flexible machine for emptying the dishwasher.

Girlfriend 2.0 etc

Paris because she's flexible. Apparently.

Take-Two Interactive loses fight for Bioshock.com


They obvviously didn't say...

..."would you kindly give us the domain name rights?"

Feel.me up for grabs in dot-me domain auction


Truth in advertising

I'm going to register oohoohlookat.me and have it redirect to Twitter

New drug spray 'makes men as soppy as girls'

Paris Hilton

Is this all it does?

I bet the testees (*snigger*) suffered from some pretty strong side-effects that have been hushed up.

Things like:-

Completely mis-interpreting an innnocent remark and having a hissy fit for the rest of the day

Constantly asking whether the lab coat made them look fat

Mysterisouly all needing the toilet at the same time

Paris because she also likes putting stuff up her nose. Allegedly.

Blokes spend 11 months in shed


Re Blokes in sheds

"Obviously a survey of blokes with absolutely no lives or ambition at all"

Sooooo.....the average Sun reader then?

Workers scared to befriend bosses on Facebook


re: How soon... #

I was recently told about a Call Center that would look for candidates' Facebook/Twitter/MySpace accounts and would discount said candidate if they didn't have one!! They believed that it showed the candidate was not "sociable" and, therefore, would not fit into their team.

If I was ever asked, in an interview, why I didn't have an account on a single social-networking site I would ruin my chances of getting the job because of the inevitable bile-filled rant.

Broadband boss: 'The end of freeloading is nigh'


Can someone explain...

...why it costs more for provider to transmit 1MB of data than it does 1GB? It's data. It's doesn't weigh anything. It doesn't require any sort of "heavy lifting". It's just electro-magnetism (or light, if you are lucky enough to have fibreoptic).

Excuse my ignorance, I'm merely a poor SysAdmin but I've never understood this argument.

Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased


I don't know...

It seems a bit like wooly thinking to me.


One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us


That explains call centres then

I'm not at all suprised about the high percentage in India. The aliens probably all work in call-centres. Proof-positive then, I think you'll find, that aliens are certainly NOT more technologically advanced than us.

Apple drops HTML from iPhone and iPad


I guess it's only fair

Microsoft "steal" Apple's GUI ideas so Apple just and go and steal Microsoft's entire way of doing business.

Sky 3D to go live on 3 April in 'thousands' of pubs


Fights breaking out

"How long before a fight breaks out because the pub runs out of 3D specs?"

That won't be what causes a fight. No, it'll be caused by some half-cut pillock "dodging" out of the way of one of Emile Heskey's "shots" causing them to stumble into a group of Millwall fans and spilling their pints.

Expedition to seek out 'alien' ocean-abyss life sets sail

Paris Hilton


"Seagoing British boffins are about to plunge deeply into hot Caribbean bottom vents using a long, cigar-shaped, battery powered device."

41 years old and double-entendres still make me giggle like a schoolgirl.

Paris because, well, need I elaborate?

Getting drunk the night before has no effect on exam results


I thought it was common knowledge...

..that beers makes you clevererer? It kills brain cells but it kills the weaker brain cells first (much like a lion hunting antelope).

Ergo, the more beer you drink, the stronger the brain cell "herd" becomes.

Crooks plant fake payment card terminals at multiple stores


re: Solution

Huh. In my experience it would be more like

1.Walk into bank.

2. Try and find a pen still attached to its chain

3. Try and find a working pen still attached to its chain

4. Fill in withdrawal form without the pen nib tearing the form in two

5. Join interminably long queue

6. Realise you are behind the man from the penny arcade who's cashing in his yearly takings

7. Give up and risk being hacked. It's less hassle.