* Posts by Rumcajz

57 publicly visible posts • joined 19 Feb 2010


Out of shape? Not had sex for years? Watch out

Dead Vulture

the bragging rights ...

aren't bad, especially if she has the right sense of humour about it, although perhaps she would do better to avoid the topic of "what happened to my ex" while looking for a replacement.

Am I really the first to use a tombstone icon? (not used in the disgusted with el Reg sense)

Microsoft+IE9: Holier than Apple open web convert?

Gates Horns

slight edit

Microsoft is becoming irrelevant on the web.

Fixed that for you..

Nokia's 15-year tango to avoid Microsoft


Belive their own marketing hype

This is what happens to a company which starts believing in its own marketing and hype. Nokia, according to the analysts, was selling more smartphones than anyone else, so why change anything? A smartphone is a smartphone, right?

Except the source of the 'smartphone' definition is suspect. A smartphone is not a smartphone unless your marketing guys tell the analysts that it is, and it has a reasonable spec. If your marketing is good enough, the analysts will put underqualified phones (and that's what we're talking about, IMHO) in the most desired category, thus artificially inflating your 'market share' and pleasing the stock-holders.

But if you forget about this artificial inflation, there is great temptation to use it as an excuse to slack off on R&D, because (according to the analysts) you already own the market. Why innovate, it's expensive. And you get caught with your pants down, unable to innovate and compete effectively. Hmm, what does that remind me of??

Sorry Nokia, but I've switched loyalties to Android and no way will I ever stick a Windows anything in my pocket.

Utah to honour Browning M1911 semi-automatic


Just thinking...

Why don't they call it the State Murder Weapon instead?? That way they could also introduce an official State Sniper Rifle, a State Concealed Handgun, or a State Hand Grenade. It would be easy for people to know and use the appropriate weapon for a particular situation.

Beeb say sorry for Stephen Fry A-bomb quip


Re: Erm...

I think what Sarah is trying to say is that el Reg publishes this type of story because of the quality and variety of the comments it can evoke from the commentards.

In other words, el Reg is trolling...

Texter who fell in fountain threatens to sue


Important question

What kind of phone was it, and was it still functioning after going into the fountain? My bet is it was an iPhone...

Article deleted



The two stroke is also "suck squeeze bang blow", but usually suck and sqeeze are performed at the same time, and the blow is performed during the end of the bang. Also, the two stroke required more lubrication than the four stroke. Sometimes the blow, suck, and squeeze are combined in a single stroke (not quite sure how Paris manages this, there's probably a video on the subject somewhere on the internet)

I think I need to lie down for a bit...

Reg hacks crawl from London to Brighton



Prehistoric Automobile Raced Indomitably Southward

TomTom adds Star Wars voices to iPhone app


Just wondering..

do the Chewbacca and R2D2 tracks come with subtitles??

Yahoo! boffin scores pi's two quadrillionth bit


Beautiful and useless

Hmmm... 1000 nodes, 23 days, final (useless) answer is 0.

Shades of the classic Deep Thought supercomputer, 7,500,000 years, final (useless) answer is 42.

And the answers ARE useless.. I mean, how does one now go about specifying pi? After the first 2.7 trillion digits, does one write 1.9973 quadrillion 'x's and then a (binary) 0? Or what??

South African police hunt Twittering speedcam spy

Big Brother

Better way to Czech for cops...

Here in the Czech Republic, some nice guys have set up a site called radary.cz It's stated purpose is to provide a public forum for drivers to let other drivers know of traffic jams, accidents, roadwork, and other driving hazards. Forums are by motorway number or by region for non-motorway roads. There is a wap interface, so almost anyone can check in, and updates can be made by SMS.

Almost all of the forum updates are of the form "D1 towards Prague marker 122km, bastards with radar in a green Octavia behind a tree". Saved me a few fines.

Big brother icon for obvious reasons...

Chilean tarantulas menace Bolton



Articles like this just beg for one of those stupid "I, for one, welcome our new giant hair-spitting Chilean tarantula overlords". I'm just glad I got to read the comments section before some idiot posted one...

Google patents search that tracks your mouse moves


finger hover data..

There is also some useful information obtainable by determining which finger is used to point at a certain advertisement or search result. Index finger = casual/normal use. Pinkie = for more detailed work, smaller ads. Ring finger = dimwit user. Middle finger = Microsoft or political ad.

PARIS skins up with Rizlas and dope

Paris Hilton

More on this, please

I, and I think I speak for most Reg readers on this, would like to see a lot more high-res, detailed pictures of Paris's bare skin, shot from all angles and (preferably) in good light, although the light is a secondary consideration. If you could possibly get together a video covering the entire area of skin, that would be even better.

Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites


pinch of salt

Hit once - believeable.

Hit twice - possible, has to happen to someone.

Three times is pushing it, but perhaps telling the story to the neighbors over a beer or three in the pub (he's not buying) is worth the effort in making another hole in the roof.

Fourth time is still worth it for the insurance.

FIfth time - discovered how to milk this thing and now he's on nationwide TV. Also getting good at making the holes appear authentic, a little scorching around the edges does wonders.

Sixth time - In the international press at last. These people will believe anything, and now he can sell 'scientists' rocks as 'meteors' at high prices. WOnder if he's sold more than 6...

Can we get a money icon please??

Paraguayan model to strip if team wins World Cup


Oh, come on El Reg,you're slipping...

We need more detail on this story. What kind of phone is it??

Can we have a boobs icon, please (or similar)? The Paris icon does not quite fit this story.

Loud sex ASBO woman spared jail again



Sound recordings or it didn't happen*.

And may I with all due respect suggest that a Playmobile re-enactment would be in order at some point, complete with audio component...

Shouty icon to emphasize the recording level needed.

* Please, no pictures...

Renew your firearms licence via your iPhone


save 3 million??

The cost to the police of registering a handgun should be paid by the people who have handguns, as part of the registration fee. Creates a few jobs, keeps money flowing, and there is slight disincentive to own a gun.

Killer piranha stalk Folkestone pond


Ms. Bee and the disease of the double-entendre

Perhaps Ms. Bee was thinking in non-angling terms for a few moments, and inadvertently (or even intentionally!!) thought of a double-entendre connected with a phrase in the article.

I guess we can only hope that readers of El Reg don't catch this awful habit from her. Even the staff could, if this type of thing goes unchecked, become habituated and eventually addicted.

Lightning bolt smites 60ft Jesus statue


Two words..

teach science.

SpaceX Falcon 9 achieves orbit on maiden flight


re: Four Seats....

A paper airplane (Paris) doesn't need it's own seat, Lester can hold it on his lap*. I suggest the fourth seat goes to amanfrommars.

* Also, I don't think the paper plane would survive re-entry from orbit...

Twitter airport bomb spoof joker launches appeal


Use the right Icon

He should have used the joke icon. Then he'd be in the clear. What'd he use, the grenade? Silly fool...

Seriously, the punishment does not fit the crime in this case. He didn't send the threat to the airport, the police, an airline, or any other logical threat recipient. The threat was at most vague and (IMHO) stupidly humorous. He made no attempt to prepare to carry out any part of the threat, he didn't repeat the threat either. He's young and (I'm guessing here) socially active.

He should have been let off with a warning and a slap on the wrist.

Rash of Facebook 'likejacks' still flaring


re: Exactly

I'd give this comment a thumbs up, but I agree with the comment that it is largely meaningless..

Woman sues Google after highway knockdown



One would think she could and indeed should have noticed both the lack of a sidewalk and the speed of the cars. Given that she has a map in front of her, she could choose an alternate route if she was unhappy with the suitability of the road.

Regardless, I would hold the driver responsible for hitting a pedestrian. Last time I checked (admittedly, it has been a while), hitting pedestrians wasn't allowed, even if said pedestrian is intently following the directions on their phone...

World Cup magic captured in Microsoft Paint


I recognize it...

It's that one where they run around on the grass and try to kick the round thing. And when someone gets it into the rectangular frame with the net behind it, they go nuts. Why they don't just pick it up and run with it (or at least throw it), I have no idea...

Regent Street blocked by iPad fanboi swarm


clap and cheer...

"An Apple staffer was handing out bottles of water to iPad-less refugees. He said his hands were hurting from clapping and his voice hoarse from cheering - he'd been working since 6am."

So he is paid to clap and cheer? Uh huh. Hmmmm. To what purpose? Does the shop open earlier, or the queue move faster, or do people buy more iPads if there is a vocal and appreciative audience? Or do the fanbois/goils need some warming up on this special day? Do they not clap and cheer enough spontaneously to satisfy the media or Apples' collective ego?

It's sounding a bit like the Windows launch parties, a little too Potemkin village / Disneyland unreal for my liking...

Nothing against Jobs / Apple, just sick of hype manufacture. Let the products create the good feeling, not the marketers.

Brit honeybees crawl through rotten winter


re: This cant be right.

Climate change was last year. I think this year it's the volcano in Iceland, and I think they're getting into plane crashes again (makes a change from oil spills).

The point is to keep the level of panic at a low simmer...

Atlantis spacewalkers complete ISS battery swap



but swapping 375 pound batteries by hand on Earth (i.e. without the benefit of zero g) might be even slower...

William Shatner to star in Twitter-inspired TV show


Beam me up, Scotty

There's no intelligent life on this planet.

Russia launches Cyrillic top-level domain


Foreign languages...

Uh, I think the Russians would have wanted to use the Russian word for President, and they probably got it right.

If you are still not convinced, say 'president' (in English) and pay attention to the sound corresponding to the 's' - it is a 'z' sound, not an 's'.

F*ck you, thunders disgruntled fanboi Apple user


can't jump because...

that would be an interpreted command.

Linux jumps. Windows crashes...

Brighton goes Green


Has to be said..

I, for one, welcome our new green overlord.

Met terror squad beats all complaints


Yes, right, but...

you are right, bad things happen sometimes, police officers make mistakes in difficult situations, and someone has to bear the consequences.

That is not the problem. The problem here is that, statistically, police are sometimes at fault and need to be held responsible for their actions. There should be an investigation, and in case of police wrongdoing, an appropriate punishment meted out, perhaps a note in the officer's file or something.

1500 officers, 167 complaints over 3 years, and no actions is not a statistical anomaly, it means that either the investigation is not thorough or (more likely) the policeman is let off with a slap on the wrist and no record of the problem. In other words, there is no disincentive for the officer to not repeat his/her actions the next time. The complaints are, for all practical purposes, ignored... There is no real restraint on police action. For 95% of policemen, this is not a problem, they are honest and good people. But for the 5% who should not be policemen, they are not caught and remain on the force to the detriment of society.

Texas man cops to botnet-for-hire charges


Good idea...

But I'd make them do community service (cleaning up dog mess, unblocking sewers, etc...) for the total estimated hours of virus cleanup time they stole from other people. Say 1 hour per infected PC, that gives 22000 hours or about 10 years of 8 hours a day.

Jail time is a community expense, and won't teach them much of a lesson...

Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

Big Brother

El Reg top ten

My vote goes to Ms. Bee...

Swiss police thwart 'eco-anarcho terror' attack on IBM



"Il Silvestre has an green anarchist agenda, including opposition to all forms of micro-technology, nuclear technology and weapons."

IANA Italian green anarchist eco-terrorist, but IMHO a bomb is a weapon. Or am I missing something rather obvious here??? Perhaps it isn't a bomb if it's somehow on your side...

Lufthansa offers iPhone 4G loser free beer



Hmmm.. Free beer in Business class, right? I bet they will search the aircraft business section very thoroughly after the flights....

Microsoft wants pacemaker password tattoos

Gates Horns


I think you mean collecting tax...

PARIS hacked Canon test (almost) runs on rails



You are testing it in Spain because of the Icelandic volcano ash?

Sleep-scheduling software developed for ISS astronauts

Black Helicopters

Watch it!!

Shouldn't this come under RoTM, given the potential for future abuse by the machines? Once this type of system becomes widespread, they can just tweak the results to maximize grogginess and minimize human alertness.

Shame on you for missing that. On a Friday too.. Have you been testing the software on yourself??

Wii Fit fall woman turns into nympho

Paris Hilton

Think it through...

You want your wife to want it 10 times a day? every day? And how many of those are you willing and able to provide? Did you read the above comment on over-used bits?? Fancy some calluses in unlikely places

I'd prefer a kind of on/off switch...

Yahoo! tech! boss! quits!



Yahoo! - it's an expression of unbridled joy or elation. Notice the exclamation point, this emphasizes the feeling.

Or you could just look up what it means on Google...

iPhone 4.0: iAds, multitasking, and 98 tweaks

Paris Hilton

required title

"We think most of this mobile advertising really sucks" - I absolutely agree. Advertising sucks.

OT: Jailbroken iPhones handle multi-tasking just fine, it isn't a hardware problem but a limitation built-in to the GUI of the iPhone OS.

Paris. Ads. Suck. Nuf said.

New Reg comments system ready to launch


Is the title still required?

I, for one, welcome our new comments system overlord.

Novell (not SCO) owns UNIX, says jury


got a bug in there

I'll just fix it for you:


} while (breathing)

Is iFlorist the greatest website in the universe, ever?

Dead Vulture


The reviews look like they are copied (with probably deliberate errors) from marketing brochures. Taken a bite at a time (to avoid a vomit-on-the-keyboard accident)

"complimentary gift" - nobody uses this term excepting marketers.

"never been easier" - also a marketing term

"140 countries" - is reviewer suggesting he sends flowers to people in 140 countries??

"most comprehensive in the industry - marketing brochure

And their waffle in reply to your email - "We have no real control over what is written about us" - probably means that they have outsourced the review writing.

Couldn't get the Paris icon in, but the tombstone fits nicely...

UK.gov spunked £153m on reorganisation IT



Can we have a ZoTW, to go with the FoTW? Please??

Florida woman prangs car while shaving her privates


This story is crying out for

pictures. Or at the very least a playmobil reconstruction...

Israeli raid scrubbed after errant Facebook post

Paris Hilton


I thought 'social penetration' meant something else entirely...

Men lie more in online dating - except about their weight


What?? Really???

You are allowed to LIE on those websites?? Isn't that cheating??