Posts by rototype

BOFH: The Prints of Darkness pays a visit

At the risk of setting of someone's PTSD...

A number of years ago I replaced my decades old HL Color LaserJet with a newer Ricoh model from Ebuyer (they had a special on where one of the Ricoh's was cheaper than a set of toners for the HP - and this was BEFORE they started getting silly about stuff - OK, sillier than normal then). Plugged into a wired port they (I bought 2 - needed to use up some 'tax' as I was self employed at the time) performed admirably, Wireless is another totally different beast though. It's as if the halo's magically turned into horns as soon as the wireless switch was enabled. Setting them up is something that I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy, but even that isn't as bad as setting up a Canon 'personal' grade printer for one of our service engineers - turns out that you need to be logged in as local 'administrator' - not _a_ but _the_ local administrator, and it had to be that name exactly or nothing would work (no idea how they got on in France where it's spelled administrateur) - foul, contemptuous beasts. (and that's me being polite). Usually I don't mind printers (I'm about the only one in our team that doesn't mind going out and beating them into submission), but some devices should never have been spawned.I often joke that I keep a 3lb forge hammer in the car in case of emergencies but I have been forced to break it out occasionally.

Microsoft will kill Remote Desktop soon, insists you'll love replacement

Has anyone projected how far this might go...

In future you might find that your PC will just be a co-pilot box with 'Windows App' connecting to web versions of 365 and nothing running locally except co-pilot, which by the way won't be working on your data, it'll be doing M$ work, presumably in place of all of these server farms.

BOFH: The USB stick always comes back – until it doesn't

Re: No, no, no

Remove any decent booze, add copious amounts of laxitive laced cheap & nasty booze (possibly meths based) then grass him up to his boss.

Amazon's nuclear datacenter dreams stall as watchdog rejects power deal

The real reason

"...would result in "generation deliverability violations" and require installation of system upgrades."

This basically says that they want to upgrade anyway but they want Amazon to pay for it.

Share your 2024 tech forecasts (wrong answers only) to win a terrible sweater

And you remember that pain I said I had, guess what's still there, Oooo, Oooo, it's all down me left side now, bloody cheap knock-off Diodes I call it, Ooo, Ouch... - they should have bought real full spec ones from AliExpress like I told them...

BOFH: The true gravity of the Boss and the 3-coffee problem

Coffee Sh!ts

Yup, ours is a tech company and regular as clockwork 1-2 hours after start time (varies depending on job title) there's a queue at the loos, even more so since my 'hour gap' seems to nicely co-incide with the time the cleaners decide to do their run, can get quite close sometimes....

BOFH: The greatest victory is that which requires no battle

Re: When did Simon start speaking American English?

"When did Simon start speaking American English?

The name of the colour is "grey" in New Zealand English, not "gray". Did someone upset the spill chucker?"

No, they just hit the 'Update' button and it defaulted back to the factory standard of US English, same as Teams always keeps doing at our place, and don't ask me the problem we have trying to get machines to BUILD in UK English.

What's brown and sticky and broke this PC?

Re: The worst ever!

Upvoted because of Boss support - this kind of Boss needs to be kept

Had that before, although PC floppies are significantly cheaper than MAC ones. Those shutters on 3.5 floppies did have a habit of leaving themselves behind when the little ladies wanted their flopppies back at the end of lesson (Note: who used which machine was always traceable, at worst by the login times, and it was mandatory for them to keep flopppies in a case - a lot didn't bother, hence bills to mummy and daddy for a new floppy drive) - 2 x expansion blanking plates can get the sleeve out quite easily for those skilled at it. Quite a nice budget earner for us, covered the damage we couldn't attribute to anyone (like missing mouse balls). The joys of working in a school....

Re: Yet more racial stereotyping

It's 5 O'Clock somewhere

Re: Chocolate?

Forget Orange juice, try Cola instead. I was once tasked with recovering a Video Recorder*** that had failed. Cola spill had eaten half the tracks on the board before I got there - it went in the bin.

Re: It could be worse

We have labs at work, some of the PCs come back with white stains IN the plastic (yes, something they uses bleaches the cases), they go to decontamination before we touch them.

Re: The user was left to set the time on her PC every day

.... AND we still use that in my company today (and for some reason it has priority on support - no idea)

Re: The user was left to set the time on her PC every day

Justified - like it

Re: Didn't think it was chocolate

I been there before, the one place you made sure you washed your hands ON THE WAY OUT - unless you wanted to be off sick the next week and lose a stone or two (ie no, you WOULD be very sick, no skyving needed). They don't actually enforce the policy of not eating at your desk there, they let the after effects do that for them.

Re: glueing thin clients

Some makers (ie Lenovo, suspect HP and Dell also do them) make screens with 'hutches' in the back for these micro PCs, makes upgrading an absolute piece of cake. If you're smart about it the only thing the user sees is their PC is suddently a lot quicker. Makes for a really clean workspace as well, assuming they connect wirelessly and use wireless keyboard/mouse combo the only wire is power and that can be hidden in the monitor arm, keeps the manglement types feeling all superior while making your life easier. (can also be used for 'Kiosk' PCs with the requisite touch screen monitor).

Re: Keyboard jammed

Found 2 dead mice in the back of a farmer's PC once, (expansion blanker missing, amazing they squeezed in there) - only damage was a blown PSU, which by massive coincidence I had an exact replacement for (No, don't arsk, pure co-incidence, especially since it was a Time).

Icky Keyboards

If it's an external keyboaed these days it just goes in the WEEE bin, we use Dells at work and I know how much a) a new keyboard costs, b) my time is worth and c) I really can't be arsed to even go there. Only exception is if it's a Precision laptop in which case we just hose down the motherboard and order a new keyboard (I KNOW it won't kill a Precision, come the nuclear armegeddon those cockroaches will be using them). Other laptops we also have spare keyboards but unless it's still got 2 or 3 years of warranty left it gets WEEEed (after removing the SSD that is).

BOFH: I get locked out, but I get in again

Re: German tomfoolery

Amateurs! - if you really want to annoy someone change it to a French layout

BOFH: Nice air conditioning system. Would be a shame if anything happened to it

Re: BOFH is now a bloody documetary

"eg You could purchase outright a HP printer (heaven forbid) with the certainty that refilled or third party toner/ink cartridges will work if technically at all possible. "

Simple solution - don't Buy an HP Printer, I can get replacement chips for my Ricoh cartridges that work for about 50p each (so I can use the full capacity of them and not leave 30% of the toner in there to be discarded - at that price it's cheaper than buying cheap toner and refilling).

Re: Tea and coffee

Works out even cheaper (and better quality since it's fresher) if you buy the beans and grind your own (we're still talking Lidl here) - and don't think of cheaping out on the grinder, this can make as much difference as a more expensive coffee.

Yup, that's the old T-shirt

Been there, done it, on my 3rd (or is it 4th) UPS now - each time increasing the capacity slightly to run/protect ever more things (and to protect the kit so I didn't need the extorionately priced 'extra year's warranty' for the nice PC I have that would have cost an additional 50% of the original purchase price[not to mention about 50% more than the resale value now], just hoping they don't decide to start uploading dodgy drivers to it now it's out of warranty.)

'Return to Office' declared dead

Re: Of course

In my case I do alternate weeks in the office, cuts down on travelling and gives me a bit more lie-in on weeks where I work from home. Generally our Firm suggests people try to come in the office once a week, if for no other reason so they see other humans in a social setting (ours is a high-tech firm with a lot of very geeky developers - the sort who'll spend all night coding for the fun of it After they've spent all day coding for work).

Apparently one supervisor said "If they all come in on the same day all they'll do is natter all day", to which management said "Yes, that's right" - the management see the day in the office as human interaction essential for Mental Health (there are some smart people in management) - if any colaborative work gets done then that's a bonus.

BOFH: WELCOME TO COLOSSAL SERVER ROOM ADVENTURE!!

I think if I'd have seen her do that I'd have been tempted to tell her to shove that meter way up somewhere else, possibly at the rear.

BOFH: Ah. Company-branded merch. So much better than a bonus

Re: Cheapo USB key

As an example of this, I use a USB2 SD card reader/writer to put gcode on to transfer to the 3D printer. Since it's generally only a few MB (I don't tend to print complicated sculptures etc, mostly functional items such as brackets and the like) then USB2 is easily fast enough. If I were transferring the software to another machine (Cura & Freecad) I'd generally use the network or if I had to use USB I'd instead use one of my USB3 sticks.

Re: Maglite torch WTCLOI

Very easy, get a Li-Ion AAA battery (Yes, they do make them) and a standard white LED - worst case you might need to add a series resistor. Also doing this you'll have a rechargeable battery in it so you'll never have to buy batteries for it again.

Child-devouring pothole will never hurt a BMW driver again

Re: It's how they fix potholes that makes them bigger.

It does kind of work, just that anyone wanting to dig up the road subsequently just classifies their works as 'Emergency repairs' and that seems to get them out of being fined for it. Just remember it's nothing to do with us end users, it's all about the money.

Re: The problem with that ...

The general hatred of BMW drivers is because they seem to think that because they have an expensive BMW that they're better than everyone else and that the world should go out of their way for them (ie they're arseholes). The same isn't usually true for Mercedes or Audi drivers as they tend to be a bit more discrerning (ie they haven't just believed the hype and bought a BMW).

In my experience, some of the very worst drivers in this country are in BMWs.

Tupperware looking less airtight than you'd think

Re: wait till they rot

Probably not, if anything like our family, when visitors are coming they tend to stock up on EVERYTHING, after all - running out of ANYTHING when guests are there is considered a Cardinal Sin and Totally Unforgivable ("Oh the shame, we ran out of lemon scented hand wipes while uncle xxxx was here").

Therefore clearing out the old stuff in the freezer (apart from being a god idea) makes space for all of the new stuff that doesn't get eaten (like the 3rd/4th turkey or the leftover leftover leftover curry - just so it doesn't go to waste...).

Accidental WhatsApp account takeovers? It's a thing

YAMFU

Yet Another Meta Fuck-Up

Bringing cakes into the office is killing your colleagues, says UK food watchdog boss

Used to happen a lot pre-Covid

Now it's just occasional. People would bring in cakes etc for their Birthdays and put them in the communal eating areas. Generally if I knew the person I might indulge - problem was always getting to it before it was all gone.

BOFH and the office security access upgrade

Re: Ah, time management systems

Last 2 lines unnecessary, this was implied by the first 2. Just tell me - was the Fire Brigade involved at some point?

Haiku beta 4: BeOS rebuild / almost ready for release / A thing of beauty

Re: You ran it on WinCE and..a..Dreamcast?... Really?

And the frighteningthing is it's still not dead - Fiat Blue & Me units in their cars use this as the background OS for the Bluetooth modules and Yes, it's reliability is poor at best and causes all sorts of system instabilities in the car when it fails. Since I don't need 'that' functionallity I eventually managed to locate (hidden under the passenger seat - need to remove the seat to physically remove it) and disconnect this unit in mine and tell the system it never existed - much more stable now. I may (when I eventually sell the car) get it repaired/replaced but this isn't a priority at the moment.

Don't lock the datacenter door, said the boss. The builders need access and what could possibly go wrong?

Re: rebooting the system

I remember cleaning the rollers on the mice in one of the English departments computer rooms one day (this was back in the day when they still had balls, ands many of the balll accesse had been superglued up to stop the little sods nicking the balls out of malice - I saved all of the crud and presented it to the Head of Department (who prided herself on how clean everything was kept) - apparently all of the kids were made to wash their for the next month or two (until the rest of the staff got sick of enforcing this) before touching the computers.

Cleaner ignored 'do not use tap' sign, destroyed phone systems ... and the entire building

Re: Windows

Similar story but different bank that had their main data centre under the landing path of East Midlands airport. After one incident in the 1980s (January 1989 - I lived a few miles away and could see it from the motorway bridge) when a plane made an impromptu heavy landing on the M1, they decided to build a backup data centre about as far away from any flight paths as they could in Staffordshire. (I found this bit out several years later, when working for said bank)

Re: Water and IT

To be fair to the regs, I'd not want to be in a confined space with any gas cylinder if it suddenly decided to let go, be that air, O2, N2 CO2 or anything else, no matter how small the cylinder. The worry isn't about small leaks (although these would be annoying) but total failure.

Safety sign foe obvious reasons.

IT manager's 'think outside the box' edict was, for once, not (only) a revolting cliché

Re: On the floor?

One of the techs in one of our offices reduced dead HDDs in his office to almost zero overnight by turning the desktop/tower PCs (that were sitting on the floor in tower configuration) over so the HDD was at the bottom instead of the top when they invariably got knocked over (this seemed to be happening several times a week and was becoming a pain in the a**e).

Re: protective film? That was a privacy screen

I have a touch screen 'flip' laptop I bought a few years ago - I fitted it with a scren protector that can be easily cleaned if I get finger marks on it. I've also got a big (24") touch screen on my main computer that gets cleaned regularly, whether it needs it or not - very useful for enlarging those product images where they don't want you to see the details.

Re: "make static electricity a menace"

Sounds like you had the same Chemistry teacher I did

To make this computer work, users had to press a button. Why didn't it work? Guess

Re: Users are the worst

Some of the very worst users I've come accross are the 'Professional' types (Doctors, Lawyers, Teachers) whose view is 'If I can do XXXXX then this computer can't be difficult" and then proceed to totally stuff it up and blame the tech for not making it so they could operate it without intervention and NEVER FOLLOW ANY TROUBLESHOOTING STEPS OFFERED!!! Then they say "Of course I've tried that I'm a XXXX"

Re: Bad design

"I'm pretty sure it wasn't attached to a working line at the time."

Don't be so sure, my uncle has an ancient pulse dial phone (the old bakelite type with the little drawer underneath for phone numbers) up until about 5 years ago when thet had to replace it because they needed an emergency system fitting (both he and my late aunt were well into their 80s at the time). This does now mean that he can have Internet...

Revealed: Perfect timings for creation of exemplary full English breakfast

Re: Multicultural Cardio Breakfast

What the F**k is spinach doing in there? - NOTHING GREEN EVER goes on the plate of a fry-up. I can handle hash browns (or Rosti) but the more british version is Potato waffles.

As regards cooking order - Mushrooms & onions in, then the sausages (good high meat content only, prefereably from the butcher), then the bacon & Black pudding. Tinned tomatoes in a separate pan then when the bacon is done hoof it all out onto a waiting heated plate while you do the eggs then the fried bread in what's left of the fat (add butter to it if you've been a bit sparing on the grease).

Never really been a fan of beans with breakfast or the big grilled mushrooms/tomatoes (if it's grilled then it isn't a fry-up is it!).

Re: Or.

Upvote for the egg yolk reference

BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

Re: Management style fads! - Something Different

Nothing wrong with pineapple on pizza, so long as the ham and mushrooms are also there in the correct ratios as set out in holy doctrine. (Domino's recipe handbook).

In a time before calculators, going the extra mile at work sometimes didn't add up

Re: £sd

Bloody millennials, it's never been that hard if you can do maths and know the base units (those get learned from the start).

Now if you want difficult try converting US MPG to European l/100km WITHOUT USING A GOOGLE TOOL! (Yes, I can but I have to think about it).

Re: Bank Accounts

"Or do marketing "geniuses" care about that kind of thing?"

Of course they don't, those that even realise it (any advance on 1%?) - it's all revenue no matter wherther it's valid or not and if you're hitting someone outside your intended audience then that's a win as it's a potential new customer.

The rest of us just get more and more sick of adverts and subversive marketing both on snail mail and t'interweb.

Re: Honesty kills

I sometimes find being excessively honest is better than fudging things, especially when what you're being honest about seems a bit over the top or excentric/bizarre since in many cases people just don't believe you and think it's just a joke ot bravado.

A classic when fixing computers - "Should I get the 3lb Forge Hammer from the car?" - Most people just think it's a joke but those that really know me know it's not. Yes, I do carry one in the car, for removing wheels when they get stuck - well, that's the official line and I'm sticking to it.

Best part is that if someone calls your bluff in these circumstances you can prove it (and I have - several times).

Keeping your head as an entire database goes pear-shaped

Re: Best practice for fsckups

Yup, managed to do this twice where I am now and fessed up immediately. First time I was just a contractor and I reckonned I'd be looking for another job next day. Turns out I told exatly the right person who then shouted over to another tech 'Hey, you know that button in X that we should never press..." and all had a sigh of relief that it wasn't one of them that'd done it. They managed to get most of the data back and the rest was rebuilt over the next few weeks but it was noted when I had my interview to go permanent that my handling of the incident was one of the reasons I was being made permanent.

My other memory of that interview was there was a poodle sitting in on it (yes, a real one - but that's a story for another time).

Second time I realised within a few seconds what I'd done (removed the access group instead of removing the user from it) and contacted the one pwerson who I knew could do something about it ASAP - as a result no major fallout and another potential hole removed.

'I wonder what this cable does': How to tell thicknet from a thickhead

Re: colour me sceptical

Not to mention USB B into a RJ11 - yes it does go, seen it several times ("I thought it was a USB modem")

<mutter mutter rant growl>

Burger King just sent spam receipts to customers

Re: The bigger problem with the app..

The Macdonalds app might actually work but I'm not putting it on my phone regardless of what bonusses or points cashback offers it gives you. I did look at doing this once (there's one just around the corner from work and it'd save me 5-10 minutes standing in line with the rest of the denizens), but then I looked at exactly what it wants to access on my phone (pretty much everythuing) and decided very much against it. There's no reason for it needing access to my address book or photos, and that's just the start.