Posts by FozzyBear

It's Friday lunchtime on International Beer Day. Bitter hop to it, boss'll be none the weiser

Why do you think we, the Aussies, export it. No one here in their right mind drinks that crap.

Fed-up graphic design outfit dangles cash to anyone who can free infosec of hoodie pics

Re: Funny thing

It's obvious. the 64MB sticks have hit maturity. Given the nice dark secluded corner they have been going at it like randy teenagers. The DDR4's of course are still in their infancy, give them a few years and they'll be breeding like rabbits. Unfortunately this will be about the time DDR4 is looked at in the same way we look at 64 MB stick today.

Outraged Virgin slaps IP trolls over dirty movie download data demands

And lawyers wonder why lawyers have such a bad reputation.

For heaven's sake: Japan boffins fail to release paper planes in space after rice wine added to rocket fuel

I know where they went wrong. They allowed some corporate muppet name the rocket.

If, however, they deferred the naming of the rocket to an online community of intelligent, self deprecating individuals with a love of all things science and tech......

Our sales were to genuine customers, Autonomy ex-CEO Mike Lynch insists in court

Re: Judge

Cross examination that is widely off point, wasting court time. Making statements in cross examination rather than asking questions. All of which the counsel for HPE has been warned about. That is not apparent favour, based on previous articles, it is the judge applying judicial law.

Using judicial bias as the basis for appeal is a VERY dangerous tacit. Highly subjective, that scenario causes a shit storm in law circles that drags on for years. Which means if HPE tries to force that issue, I'll need to buy options in popcorn manufacturers.

City-obliterating asteroid screamed past Earth the other night – and boffins only clocked it just 26 hours beforehand

Um. Bruce Willis is still on stand by... Right ?

'We've done it, we've wasted further time!' Judge raps HP over Mike Lynch court scrutiny

Re: Bah!

And I'm finished with this guy!

Revealed: Milky Way's shocking cannibalistic dark past – it gobbled a whole dwarf eons ago

Re: Verb choice!

Michael Bay is that you ?

I don't know but I've been told: IBM slurps AU$95.5m ERP delivery contract from Aussie DoD

"This agreement is a testament to our 40-year partnership with the Australian government,"

No it's a testament to the fact that few of the IT companies have the necessary clearance levels and certifications that allow them to work with/for DoD.

Getting those Clearances and certifications are a fucking nightmare ( And I'm sugar coating it). Rather than jumping through all those hoops, SAP were probably happy to take the licencing fees and run and leave IBM to deal with the DoD.

Man, IBM implementing SAP software for the Department of Defence. I'm looking forward to the news articles in 12 months

Low Barr: Don't give me that crap about security, just put the backdoors in the encryption, roars US Attorney General

Lawyers again believing that the laws of nature, mathematics and physics can be overridden simply by legislating it.

That takes a level of arrogance, that, thankfully I have not met or a new level of stupid that should not be allowed to pollute the gene pool.

I suspect, to my horror, it is probably a combination of both

Hip and modern IBM can't beat legacy kit and services IBM: That's four consecutive quarters of revenue decline now

Death by a thousand cuts

@ caff.

The reason no one has taken the leap on Z cloud is the competition offers are comparable if not better than IBM.

IBM is still using old IT business practices. Relying on market dominance to insert themselves after the fact. Either quickly cobbling something together and marketing the hell out of it or simply buying one companies leading the charge .

Problem there is AWS, Google or Microsoft would be looking at IBM as a chew toy nowadays

Hell hath no fury like a radar engineer scorned

Re: Can this inform the 5G debate?

Well he is now. I have a mate, well, he turns up to many of the BBQ's I'm invited to. He's the guy that will spew out the latest conspiracy theory trolling around the internet. Moon landings, Anti-vax, 9/11, the port arthur shootings, etc, etc,etc. Normally we either avoid long conversations with him, or suddenly change the subject. depending on the level of buzz you have going, sometimes it's fun to wind him up

Last weekend i flatly told him, after yet another lecture on the dangers of vaccinations, that I would be more worried about the levels of Dihydrogen Monoxide in No Sugar soda drinks. Another mate,a chemist, gave me a quizzical look, understood, then led the charge. Kept him quiet for the rest of the afternoon whilst he was googling " The dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide".

Oracle sued by ex-sales manager who claims she was fired in retaliation for suing former bosses

Not sure about U.S. in Australia there is usually a minimum 3 month probation/cooling off period. Anytime during probation, or on probation review either the employer or employee can walk away without reason or prejudice.

Definitely not a fan of oracle but ....

Oh no, Twitter's gone down. How can we get the word out? Ah yeah, that's right. We have a website that works

Millions of voices suddenly silenced

Thank You!

Microsoft cracks the whip over quality of code in software souk AppSource, orders devs to run the QA gauntlet

Microsoft Quality and Security checks

After picking myself off the ground, swiping the tears of laughter from my eyes, Checking that is wasn't April 1st, checked that the earth is still spinning or that I hadn't woken in some weird alternate dimension (final confirmation on the next rainy day, water and not what we call in my world, donuts).

I am now seriously trying to figure out if they will be using their own internal QA standards or those used by the rest of the tech world .

Is this their only QA Employee ? --->

Learn Bluespeak with IBM: Internal buzzword-bingo memo schools staff on this newfangled thing called The Cloud

IBM thinks it still has the market share and presence to define tech industry jargon.

You guys are adorable

BOFH: On a sunny day like this one, the concrete dries so much more quickly

Re: Just remember: memory's the second thing to go.

Luckily, Mine's hot swappable.

RIP Netezza, IBM’s FPGA-powered data warehousing dream

Re: Meh. Nothing new here.

You're absolutely right there. IBM offering has nothing new or compelling, in fact, it's embarrassing compared to other offerings out in the market.

Facebook celebrates Independence Day by lighting up American outage maps

Apologies to those that use those apps

But for me, no great lose.

It might have given those people the chance to put away their mobile and actually engage in a human to human conversation.

Yeah, I know, too much to hope for.....Sigh

ReactOS 'a ripoff of the Windows Research Kernel', claims Microsoft kernel engineer

Re: ReactOS 'a ripoff of the Windows Research Kernel' claims Microsoft kernel engineer

Beat me to it. I was going to suggest it had the same bugs, security holes and crap coding. "pile of shite" packages that up nicely.

Microsoft has Windows 1.0 retrogasm: Remember when Windows ran in kilobytes, not gigabytes?

@AIBailey

Thanks for the trip down memory lane. A once proud owner of A500 and later A3000.. The OS was definitely superior to windows. The Dedicated chipset Denise, Paula and of course Fat Agnus, made a lot of things possible that would have sent windows into seizures.

More households invite creepy smart speakers indoors: Arch-slurper Google top dog for Q1

Dear El! Reg

Please refrain from using the adjective "Smart" in future related stories about these devices.

Honestly nothing about these listening devices is smart. The people that are installing them in their households certainly aren't, or at best, horribly ignorant of the invasive nature of these things.

Might I suggest

Voyeuristic

prying

invasive

snooping

probing

Fuckingwasteofmoney ( my personal preference )

I know these don't roll off the tongue like, smart. But then when has anyone here concerned themselves with appeasing the crayon brigade.

NPM Inc settles union-busting complaints on third try – after CEO trolled for ordering internal mole hunt

However,sent the toys

Should have added a few plush vulture heads to the gift package.

Good news: NASA and Homeland Security just passed their government IT exams – and we really mean *just*

Re: eh?

That the administrators had some sort of IT policy or procedure in place. Whether it was being adhered to and updated accordingly.

The fact that those policies and procedures may not eliminate or reduce the chances of intrusion is a different test.

Oracle goes on for 50 pages about why it thinks the Pentagon's $10bn JEDI cloud contract stinks

Re: It is more about supplanting Oracle technology in government...

Why do I have visions of a lame gazelle being torn apart by a pride of lions

False IDOL claims reach High Court: Lynch mob launched 'new' SPE Autonomy product to fake sales, says HPE

Yep that bit made me choke on my morning muffin.

If that is cause to file a lawsuit. Every tech company, should be shitting in their shorts right now.

Oh snap! The road's closed. Never mind, Google Maps has a plan...

South of Sussex Inlet which is south of Sydney NSW is a beautiful sleepy little village. Apparently if you entered a specific address of caravan park and holiday destination (well quite a number of addresses for that village) Google Maps would send the would be holiday maker into a 10 Km long looping scenic drive, never to reach their destination.

Being a regular there, it was a relaxing afternoon sitting in the beer garden overlooking the road with the locals. Watching the tourists doing laps. If memory serves me correctly the record was 4.

Sputnik? No, comrade, this is Spunknik: Frozen sperm manages to survive zero-grav in this totally realistic test

If I was bounced around for almost 3 minutes in micro gravity I might have some difficulty to swimming straight and in the proper direction as well.

Which way is up again?

Re: "ten samples of frozen sperm aboard a CAP10 aircraft"

Oohh DJ, I thought BJ. Which meant the next sentence took on a whole different context.

Open-heart nerdery: Boffins suggest identifying and logging in people using ECGs

Re: Does that mean

I don't know logging in and finding out the total of bank admin charges could get the ol' heart pumping at a similar rate

That's a sticky Siemens situation: Former coder blows his logic bomb guilty plea deal in court

So.......

Good ol' Excel strikes again.

Look at any organisation today in the Beancounter Department. Excel is king.

Macros, VBA Code, special plugins, References to other spreadsheets , url's and god knows what else. All done in the hopes of plugging the gaps in their own processes and procedures, or complete lack of them.

Pry open the hood on any spreadsheet that was "developed" a few years ago, I'll guarantee after 2 weeks of hair pulling, teeth gnashing, tourette's inducing investigation, You'll find formulas, code, references or any other "Smarts" they (the Legume Logistics Department) is just plain wrong.

Excel is never the answer. In fact nuke the bloody thing from orbit, just to make sure.

Iran is doing to our networks what it did to our spy drone, claims Uncle Sam: Now they're bombing our hard drives

Re: In other news... lying liars.

It's off-topic, but not the usual bot-off-its-meds nonsense.

Which perfectly describes every politician out there. Hence the natural choice as a political commentator

Nuking each others networks and hard drives is better than the alternative

Bollocks or brutal truth: Do smart-mobes make us grow skull horns? We take a closer look at boffins' startling claims

Re: Bollocks.

Which means the media will have headlines similar to

"Scientists claim smart phones and ipads causing major deformities to children's skulls"

Don't let the truth get in the way of a sensationalised headline or clickbait story

Tech jocks tell Trump: Tariff tiff with China will not achieve what you think it will achieve

Re: of course he forgets China can play the waiting game

India would be more than happy to fill the gap

Imagine being charged to take a lunch break... even if you didn't. Welcome to the world of these electronics assembly line workers

What a shithole of a place to work

Sounds like they were one step away from hiring someone to crack a whip when they saw someone slacking off a bit.

I do wonder how many company paid for lunches the senior management enjoyed over that 7 years?

HPE: Since y'all love cloud subs so much, we'll throw all our boxes into GreenLake by 2022

“Everyone recognises that customers want technology delivered as a service,

"We recognise that technology as a service is the best way to exploit our customers. Whilst customers believe they can pay as they use, Reality is, once they are locked in we can continue to increase the service fees, ensuring our yearly bonuses. Sure the customer will bitch about it, but what are they going to do, Move to someone else, wait until they review our "divorce" fees BWHAHAHA

FTFY Antonio. Sure it doesn't have the usual Utopian view of rainbows and unicorns with everyone skipping into the sunset holding hands. But you have to admit it is closer to reality

You like magic tricks? See this claim that IBM bungled an Obamacare IT project? Whoosh, now it's a $15m check

Re: Settlement amounts to 'chump' change

That is as likely as IBM admitting liability.

Ginni and the other Bottom Line Fluffers would strip down whole departments to the bare bones before they touched their salary or bonus packages. Oh wait......

Stiff penalty: Prenda Law copyright troll gets 14 years of hard time for blue view 'n sue scam

Re: Is there a lawyer in the house?

is a sub-genre that I can't even begin to comprehend....

Sure, but think of all the possibilities that cum to mind.....

Get this: Mad King Leo wanted HP to slurp two other firms alongside ill-fated Autonomy buyout

This paragraph is the most telling.....If any of this statement is true

"The CFO told Miles she had been shocked at the buy price agreed but played no part in the negotiations. She also said her "credibility" with Wall Street, "which is very important for a CFO", was at stake due to the inflated price tag and attempted to encourage Apotheker to "renegotiate" with Lynch and co."

It certainly suggests HP's due diligence was sub standard or non-existent. Even a whiff of fraud or inflated sales figures, revenue, etc. should have set off red flares the size of nukes within the board room. Yet no mention of it anywhere in her testimony

It highlights the fact that the C levels were aware that Autonomy was overpriced.

Apotheker ignored advice from the CFO and proceeded with the purchase

Raises the question why wasn't the CFO involved in the negotiations? Who was involved?

The CFO was a spineless wimp. If she had concerns and worries about the deal so badly that it kept her up at night she should have presented those findings and concerns to the board . You know the ones she is ultimately responsible to.

Large Redmond Collider: CERN reveals plan to shift from Microsoft to open-source code after tenfold license fee hike

Re: Document formats

Libre Office lacks Outlook

How is that a bad thing?

Behold the might of dynamic crimefighting duo Captain Met Police and the Microsoft Kid

"Technology gives our evidence greater integrity and gives us greater legitimacy."

No you retard.

Having a proper chain of custody gives your evidence the integrity needed. Legitimacy doesn't enter the equation, that's determined by the courts.

Now that you have moved away from established systems and processes ( that have been interrogated in varying levels in courts). You have now opened up a whole new area that defence solicitors can start poking holes.

Japan drops banhammer on drunk-droning for the sake of public safety

Re: Laws banning drunken droning...?

It's a beautiful dream to have isn't it?

Hate your IT job? Sick of computers? Good news: An electronics-frying Sun superflare may hit 'in next 100 years'

Re: Valves

As opposed to the roving bands of thieves and thugs armed with many , many guns in US Cities today

Bear insistent on playing tonsil tennis with you? Just bite its tongue off

Never argue with the DM

UK taxman spent six times more with AWS last year than cloud firm paid in corporation tax

Same thing happened in Australia a few years ago. The likes of Microsoft, Google and Oracle Paying a pittance in Corporate tax. Simple fact is, the larger corporations have the means (accountants & lawyers) of hiding the money so that they can "legitimately" avoid those taxes.

To members of Pizza Hut's loyalty scheme: You really knead to stop reusing your passwords

Re: Today I learned

We just call 'em pavement pizzas

Judge slaps down Meg Whitman for accusing Autonomy boss of being a 'fraudster who committed fraud'

Re: Etiquette when in Court

Slit someones throat and you get X years in gaol. Steal a car or damage someones property you get anything from a slap on the wrist to X months in gaol.

Piss Off the beak and, depending on the circumstances,prison guards will need pack mules to ship sunlight to the legal hole you have dug for yourself.

Seems there is enough blame to go around for everyone involved.

'Happy to throw Leo under the bus', Meg Whitman told HP after Autonomy buyout

The song, regarded across the Atlantic as a classic

"You never count your money

When you're sittin' at the table

There'll be time enough for countin'

When the dealin's done"

Seriously Leo and Meg is a friggin' song not a cue card on how to do multi-billion dollar deals. Count the money before you do the deal. [Shesh]