* Posts by FozzyBear

1035 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

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Microsoft wants you to know it hasn't forgotten about Surface

FozzyBear

Microsoft wants you to know it hasn't forgotten about Surface

They should, we sure have!

Senior IBMer hit with £290k demand from Big Blue in separate case as unfair dismissal claim rolls on

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

I think we can exclude IBM as an IT related company now. Honestly, they are comparable to legal houses that are IP or patent holding companies. Suing everyone that crosses their path

Infosys admits it still hasn't fully fixed Indian tax portal

FozzyBear
IT Angle

At the time of writing, the politicians who lined up to give Infosys a kicking over the affair remain silent on social media. But individual taxpayers continue to complain.

Ah so....

Politicians have been sufficiently paid off to be quiet. Any fines, legal action or political fall out has been smothered.

Efficient use of "resources" indeed

Stressed-out IT workers, software devs – we're not being funny but have you tried rebooting your breathing?

FozzyBear

Re: My work e-mail inbox looks like this

Oh, So you're the new IT starter I haven't been able to say G'day to yet due to the workload. Don't worry I think we will be working together on project #4, It was due last month

IBM's first 7nm Power10 chip arrives in E1080 server system with a wealth of shiny features

FozzyBear

Interesting

The first article about IBM in a long time that is not related to falling profits, being sued by employees for not paying wages/commissions, mass culling of it's workforce or responsible for the major failure of a high profile project.

Chinese prosecutors end investigation into rape claim against Alibaba manager

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

What a charming little insight into the "justice" system of china

Volkswagen to stop making its best-selling product for Wolfsburg workers: VW-branded sausages

FozzyBear
Pint

Re: “good food is important"

Of course it's not going to down well. You forgot the ice cold beer

Fired credit union employee admits: I wiped 21GB of files from company's shared drive in retaliation

FozzyBear
Flame

Court documents indicate that the credit union had "some" of the data backed up

Some, SOME. !

Geez, Understand losing the deltas for that business day. But come on.

I'm not condoning what she did . But two failures on part of the company,

Firstly, disable access when you fire someone.

Secondly, pay for a proper backup / DR strategy

Trial of Theranos boss Elizabeth Holmes begins: She plans to say her boyfriend and COO Balwani abused her

FozzyBear

We'll see if the old court saying holds true

When the evidence is on your side, argue the facts.

When the evidence is against you, argue the points of law

When you have no evidence make a speech

I foresee a lot of grand standing by the defence

IBM sued again by its own sales staff: IT giant accused of going back on commission payments promise

FozzyBear

Re: I never get tired of saying it

I never get tried of hearing it

FozzyBear

Re: Malicious compliance

was going to say the same thing. Nothing says "Pay me my commissions" like no sales for Q2,3 & 4

China welcomed its billionth netizen in the first half of 2021

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

Any other country not having stats on porn usage I would call bollocks, or is that dressed up as the "short video" numbers

IBM tossed £20m to keep the Trace side of NHS Test and Trace services running

FozzyBear
Black Helicopters

Re: Delta?

Live in Sydney Australia. Well "live" is a rather loose term right now. The ever increasing restrictions means the cabin fever has reached a new level.

At this point we are looking around Christmas when our prison sentence will finally end and we can enjoy the new restricted freedoms our gracious government will provide

Infosys CEO hauled in to tell minister why India's tax portal is still a glitchy mess

FozzyBear
Gimp

What's the bet the top management from Infosys now have a notation against their name, that indicates their tax returns get such an invasive audit it would make a colonoscopy look tame.

And to be honest Infosys have screwed plenty of customers and projects in the past, seems only right they get the same treatment

Facebook sat on report that reveals most-shared post for months was questionable COVID story

FozzyBear
Flame

Well Colour me fuckin' surprised. FaecesBook at it again. This time prettying up a quarterly report to appear what...more socially responsible/acceptable. Hate to break it to you Zuckface. Well technically I'm happy to tell you, any social credits you had were lost long, long ago. Anyone with two neurons realise that delving into your platform is akin to diving head first into the bio bin from the VD Clinic.

Publish the first or second, makes little difference you morally defective idiot.

Trust Facebook to find a way to make video conferencing more miserable and tedious

FozzyBear
Trollface

I'm fine with the cartoonish quality

To be honest most meetings I have to attend are a mix of looney tunes and WWE. As long as I can be represented by Yosemite Sam in the meeting I'm good

Blue Origin sues NASA for awarding SpaceX $3bn contract to land next American boots on the Moon

FozzyBear

"outcomes must be addressed to restore fairness, create competition"

Restore fairness : Well in fairness Jeff baby, your solution hasn't even made it to the ISS. Is everyone suppose to wait while you try to catch up?

Create competition: Jeff, do you need a dictionary? Look it up, you were "Competing" against Space X and lost. Your solution was in all aspects inferior. You were delivering less and charging more. In essence you are not "value for money".

Good news: There's a slightly increased chance of asteroid Bennu hitting Earth. Bad news: It's still really slight

FozzyBear

No need. The combination and quantity of drugs he has taken has made him immortal

$600m in cryptocurrencies swiped from Poly Network

FozzyBear
Black Helicopters

Re: Blew my mask off my face

You hear it all the time on the nightly news. Police urge the offender(s) to turn themselves in. It is only a matter of time before we catch up with you.

It rarely works.

In this instance the better threat would be.

"Whilst we present a legitimate business, in reality a majority of our clients are criminal enterprises. You have stolen the ill gotten gains from dozens of drugs cartels and criminal syndicates. Would you prefer the tender mercies of the Chinese government or hunted down by our customers?"

FozzyBear

“Law enforcement in any country will regard this as a major economic crime and you will be pursued. It is very unwise for you to do any further transactions"

Interesting question: I'm not aware of any country that recognises digital currencies as legitimate currency, So is this a financial crime? You don't get government backed guarantees as you do with that country's issued "dollar". Computer intrusion crime definitely. Theft, maybe, financial crime, debatable. If they do ever catch the guy/girl it would be an interesting test case in court. Well for those countries that have a semblance of innocent until proven guilty.

Apple is about to start scanning iPhone users' devices for banned content, professor warns

FozzyBear

Re: Semantics

Don't you dare belittle an Australian kids icon Mr Squiggle

Paperless office? 2.8 trillion pages printed in 2020, down by 14% or 450 billion sheets

FozzyBear

Re: "Paper per se isn't so much of a problem(...)"

Watch out for those Drop Bears!!!

Customers warn Gartner of AWS's high-pressure sales tactics in latest verdict on public cloud providers

FozzyBear
IT Angle

Gartner Magic Quadrant

Ironically, if I was to plot the relevance of a Gartner quad report in any IT professionals decision making process it would have to be in the bottom far left of the box.

Ecuador shreds Julian Assange's citizenship

FozzyBear

Re: I apologise unreservedly …

Julian Assange is just like Fosters beer & ford vehicles.

We export the crap we don't want to the rest of the world. We certainly don't want him dumped back on our front step

Anyone fancy a Snowmobile full of Bags O'Crap? It'll be on the list somewhere

FozzyBear

Re: Bottle o' Pee

Just lay the ground work and say you identify as a pregnant woman.

Spanish cops cuff Brit bloke accused of playing role in 2020 celeb Twitter hijacking

FozzyBear

Re: Why not ask UK?

Whilst the UK does bend over the barrel , just like Australia , for the U.S. It does tend to adhere to certain rules of law. This tends to annoy the U.S as they need to answer some very prickly questions. Like what evidence do you have? Can you prove chain of custody? You know rules of law that "innocents until proven guilty" enjoy in the civilised world.

So they prefer countries where they just throw the victim, oops sorry - criminal over the fence in the hopes the U.S. will leave them alone, or give them stuff.

Troll jailed for 5 years after swatting of Twitter handle owner ends in death

FozzyBear

If the screws could lose the key to this human stains cell that'll be great

India IT minister denies illegal use of NSO Pegasus spyware

FozzyBear
Black Helicopters

but the email address provided for media inquiries – for a staffer at "high stakes public strategy firm" Mercury – returned a "User address unknown" error.

But they know you , now. Grab your tin foil hats boys and girls !

Gung-ho tank gamer spills classified docs in effort to win online argument

FozzyBear

Re: Achievement Unlocked!

Some people will do anything to platinum a game

Facebook pulls plug on mind-reading neural interface that restored a user's speech

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

Thanks Zuck - you low life

Rarely have I thought of causing serious injury to a person. Definitely not a fan of Zuck or faecesbook before the story, after reading it, I would have no problem punching the guy in the face repeatedly. Literally pulling the plug because they wouldn't make money quick enough, what a fucking lowlife

Microsoft solicits Clippy comeback – later reveals it had already decided to bring back the peppy paperclip

FozzyBear
Unhappy

The wisdom of Instgram, Clippy, Office 365

I took me a moment to realise something was different. Yep it was that last tiny spark of hope i had left, just went out.

Imagine a world where Apple shacked up with Xerox in the '80s: How might it look today?

FozzyBear
Alien

Re: Alternate, alternate history

And Macfee the stone cold sober vegan eating Anti virus mogul enters politics and becomes president

What is GitOps? This is the technical introduction you've been looking for

FozzyBear
Pirate

Re: But wasn't the cloud supposed to simplify things?

Well, of course it does. Just not for you. it simplifies the red tape the supplier needs to cut through to screw you over. It certainly simplifies the negotiation process when you have terabytes of data on "their" cloud solution and they decide to up the price. Particularly when you start to add up the exit fees.

All in all the suppliers find things much simpler when you're in the cloud

BOFH: Where there is darkness, let there be a light

FozzyBear
Devil

Re: Definitely pick which battles you want to fight...

Early 2000's had a directive come down from the chief beancounter stipulating the very same. Our IT manager fought it for days but was not only overruled but it was now to be given the Highest priority. The instructions he gave were simple.

"You guys know what to do....."

The interruptions to the business were spectacular, the loss in productivity awesome. Assigning the cost of printing out thousands of asset labels back to finances inventory account, brilliant. The additional attention given to legume central would have made the gestapo flinch.

Where's the boss? Ah right, thorough deep-dive audit. On the boardroom table. Gotcha

FozzyBear
Devil

Re: Boffing the auditor?

CINNAMON, CINNAMON, CINNAMON

IBM insiders say CEO Arvind Krishna downplayed impact of email troubles, asked for a week to sort things out

FozzyBear

Of course it does, firstly you need to submit a 10 page document outlining the reasons for said privileges to your line manager. After which s/he will inform you that that document was superseded by one available on one of their lotus/slack/intranet/cloud/watson/cognos/mainframe resource sites . they cant remember which .

After filling in the new document you must then get sign off from 2 other line managers ( who happen to have nothing to do with the platform at all ), attend a 3 day internal on line course ( only available in 1 months time, seriously WTF????? ) , do a 10 minute 10 question Q&A with 100% pass, Wait another week for HR to issue the certificate of completion.

Once you have said certificate you then need to email it to (oh wait ..... )

Ransomware-hit law firm gets court order asking crooks not to publish the data they stole

FozzyBear
Pirate

Person or persons unknown

Not so much a legal move against the group running the ransomware. It is a move against anyone within the jurisdiction that reproduces, publishes or maybe even attempt to report on the incident.

You upload any document, mention names (from their internal documents) in any media report, they now have the basis for the civil suit. You must now front court as the person or persons unknown breaching said order. Media would be in a real pickle, settle a sue ball in the millions (they're lawyers so give me all your money) or show the information was obtained via a third party and in publics interest as part of freedom of press.

Don't , Can't or won't divulge how you obtained the information. Congratulations, your legal problems have just started as a felony investigation opened against you for computer related crimes

Microsoft tells US lawmakers cloud has changed the game on data privacy, gets 10 info demands a day from cops

FozzyBear
Unhappy

technology is a double edged sword

It delivers on almost all things promised, convenience, speed, accessibility, etc. The problem is almost no one asks and then answers the one important question.

"Am I willing to hand over (credit card information, banking details, medical history, personal details, etc) to a random stranger for safe keeping?

If not, then why are you willing to upload this information onto a storage platform, simply for convenience sake.

Radioactive hybrid terror pigs have made themselves a home in Fukushima's exclusion zone

FozzyBear

I'm not sure I'm ready for glow in the dark bacon

IBM email fiasco complicates sales deals, is worse than biz is letting on – sources

FozzyBear
Pirate

"a variety of alternative communications tools"

Does this include dusting off the long forgotten IBM typewriters? and not the electronic ones either. I hope it's the 1940's versions where you had to bash each letter with a hammer

Bezos v Branson: Battle of the wannabe Space Barons as Virgin Galactic cleared by FAA to start flying customers

FozzyBear
Devil

Re: Toilet break

Nothing like a couple of week old prawns in the heating vent to make the trip memorable

Scientists identify sleep-like slow waves as responsible for daydreaming and... sorry, what were we talking about again?

FozzyBear

Re: familiar

Add in the monotone droning of my manager and Im living the same waking nightmare

Wish you could play tabletop Dungeons & Dragons but have no friends? Solasta: Crown of the Magister offers a solution

FozzyBear
Gimp

Re: Friends ≥ null program

Same. However, Once a month we all get together and still play. Nerd day! Where without the usual interruptions of family and the ankle biters whining about nothing/everything. we can get together talk crap/work/families and play.

Three things that have vanished: $3.6bn in Bitcoin, a crypto investment biz, and the two brothers who ran it

FozzyBear
Devil

About the only thing missing from that story was that the investors heard about the investment opportunity from a Nigerian prince

Indian tax authorities summon Infosys to explain glitchy tax portal’s obvious shortcomings

FozzyBear
Pirate

Infosys really should change their name to "Seagull Solutions"

They swoop in, steal your money, shit all over everything, then fly away before anyone realises the mess they have made.

Indian government reverts to manual tax filings as new e-tax portal remains badly borked a week after launch

FozzyBear
Pint

El Reg!

Don't expect a response anytime soon. They are too busy blaming each other for the TITSUP. Take comfort though, like any other major government engagement this is the gift that will keep giving for IT journalists.

Just sit back, relax and grab the popcorn

McDonald's AI drive-thru bot accused of breaking biometrics privacy law

FozzyBear
Devil

I was replaying the "Dude, Where's my car" chinese drive through scene whilst reading the article. Go in for a coffee and exit with 2 family boxes, 5 sundaes, 10 large cokes, a dozen boxes of cookies and a small packet of apple slices.

Oracle and partners sued over claims they over-elevated NetSuite's capabilities

FozzyBear
Pirate

Look on the bright side

At least the sales manger got his commission bonus

Lotus Notes refuses to die, again, as HCL debuts Domino 12

FozzyBear
Devil

Re: Notes was the past.. and the future!

Personally go back to hand typed office memos. Stop all the pointless emails that flood the inbox.

Alibaba to serve up Kentucky Fried smart speaker, with a $1.4bn side of e-commerce integration

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

KFC for breakfast

That stuff is gut wrenching at the best of times.

For breakfast, I don't mind admitting I dry heaved a few times.

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