About the only thing missing from that story was that the investors heard about the investment opportunity from a Nigerian prince
992 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010
Three things that have vanished: $3.6bn in Bitcoin, a crypto investment biz, and the two brothers who ran it
Indian government reverts to manual tax filings as new e-tax portal remains badly borked a week after launch
Corporate VPN huffing and puffing while everyone works from home over COVID-19? You're not alone, admins
Teams is the answer according to Microsoft.
Only if the question is
What has been forced onto every company laptop and is such a resource hog at startup, configured so badly , that you can turn the laptop on. Go downstairs, grab a coffee, have a chat with workmates, go to the toilet. Have another chat and then slowly wander back to your laptop to be in time to cancel the load error message and finally start your day?
Rometty - the poster child for corporate executive greed
20+mil for What? Really?
Honestly, the only thing these executives are good at is negotiating their contract that ensures their yearly bonus. Being measured on real growth in the company would have every one of them sitting on a street corner begging for change. They all seem to use the same management handbook. Cut staff, Cut more staff, and if that doesn't more cut more again
Personally they couldn't manage to get laid in a brothel with a fist full of fiftes in one hand and a fist full of roofies in the other, let alone a major company!
NSO Group fires back at Facebook: You lied to the court, claims spyware slinger, and we've got the proof
We regret to inform you there are severe delays on the token ring due to IT nerds blasting each other to bloody chunks
Ivor's lesson to avoid further calls from distressed customers? "Don't play computer games at work until after 5:30pm!"
Nope. 3pm start friday afternoon. A couple of beers and wholesale network slaugther. The rest of the company were either already powering down for the weekend or took the slow network as a queue to power down for the weekend.
Our 'solution is killing us in a number of areas' IBM said about doomed £175m Co-Op Insurance project
The Power of IBM's Marketing & Sales
Of course we have an insurance solution. Seriously, off the shelf.
Of course, there are just a few minor tweaks that will need to be made to cater for the UK market. But you are getting a bullet proof, proven solution used by over 30% of the US insurance Companies. You wont regret it, no one has ever been fired for choosing IBM !
Re: Old Codger Talks about the "old days"
Today, it's my understanding that writing a "requirements document" is thought to be not only unfashionable, but useless.
Yep, right up to the point that the IT director and PM realise that project and solution is essentially a truck load on manure dumped in their laps. At that point the review meetings turn hostile.
The Company demands certain functionality
The vendor calmly points out they would be more than happy to deliver that functionality. However, as that was not in the original agreed specs it's a change request and they will need to provide an estimate for delivery. Depending on the estimates, this of course then means either a revised priority list or timeline for delivery.
Rinse and repeat as the IT director and PM work down the list of the recently completed requirements document.
Meet Clippy 9000: Microsoft brags about building Earth's largest AI language model, refuses to let it out of the lab
Super-leaker Snowden punts free PDF* of tell-all NSA book with censored parts about China restored, underlined
What a terrible result from this year's Super Bowl. Can you believe it? Awful. Yes, we're talking about the tech ads
Little grouse on the prairie: IBM's AI facial-recognition training dataset gets it in trouble... in Illinois
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Re: Everyone's missing the point
Now they seem to think that because they arrested the "hacker" the problem is solved?
Of course it is. The blame has been neatly, efficiently and more importantly, legally, shifted to someone now outside the company.
All past misdeeds and any short term future ones can now be blamed on the recent "hacking" crisis.
You're not Boeing to believe this: Yet another show-stopping software bug found in ill-fated 737 Max airplanes
You forced short cuts simply so the plane would be commerically ready based on your unrealistic timeframes. Cut costs so it would fit your budget expectations. All so you could bolster revenue, met your Performance margins and get a nice little bonus for the year.
It has been almost a year since these aircraft have been grounded. Tell me, if you had taken this last 12 months to do things properly the first time. Proper software checks, pilot training, etc.
Would these aircraft now be flying about the skies? Rather than being grounded indefinitely
Would your share price be riding a high with the release of a more efficient, safe aircarft . Rather than having tanked over 25% from last years high point.
Would your companys reputation be intact, if not even improved. Rather than the joke it is today.
The "earning" of a bonus last year worth it. Knowing that you are likely going to be sacked over this debacle . If not have your personal reputation destroyed. Oh, and If I had my way facing multiple criminal and civil charges.
Tell me is not taking that extra 12 months not worth the 300+ lives that were lost due to your fucking greed.
Totally Subcontracted Business: TSB to outsource entire IT estate to IBM for a cool $1bn after 2019 meltdown
Earlier days of shift work. One guy on afternoon and night shifts would simply steal peoples food from the fridge. You would get back to find your container with just chicken bones or empty sandwich wrappers. The guy was a fucking pig. Even when caught we continued doing it
Plan formulated for next night shift . One of the girls came in with a beatifully crafted birthday cake. She must have been pissed at him. Liquid laxative in the cake. Chocolate Laxative in the icing and Laxative Chocolate buttons as decorations. Everyone gets a small slice and just before we can all "enjoy" our birthday cake an emergency call is received. Everyone runs out leaving said pig with the cake.
By our reckoning he ate about a third of the cake. Though he claimed the peices fell on the ground when he was putting the cake back in the bridge for everyone
Came back 2 days later looking at little paler and thinner. The fat bastard ate the rest of the cake when no one was around!
What was Boeing through their heads? Emails show staff wouldn't put their families on a 737 Max over safety fears
I don't get it.
Honestly I don't.
If a person causes the death of another through, negligence, lack of duty of care, or failed to take resasonable actions (Death by Omission) that individual is charged with manslaughter.
We have seen the reports, know about the emails, we know senior mangement made decisions based on potential profit. They intentional misled. They intentional omitted information in their submissions. They deliberately ignored safety concerns and flaws from the experts.
Why are there not investigations to find the individuals who made these decisions? Based on email threads and notes from meetings this would be relatively easy to do. Defending themselves from 300+ Manslaughter charges should be these assholes primary concern now. Not whether they are getting a bonus.
Eggheads have crunched the numbers and the results are in: It's not just your dignity you lose with e-scooters, life and limb are in peril, too
FYI: FBI raiding NSA's global wiretap database to probe US peeps is probably illegal, unconstitutional, court says
Yep called chain of custody. Prosecutors and Defence (if they are submitted their own evidence) must be able to show that the evidence they are presenting can be traced back to the source. Without any broken or even bent links. In the instance of verbal conversations without direct source it's called heresay and immedaitely thrown out.
If there is even a hint of either I've seen Magistrates and Judges verbally beat them stupid before the other side can even get in their objections.
However, you did answer your own question. It is US law we are talking about.
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Re: Congratulations TSB Another waste of Money
Thanks TRT, but it's not arrogance. It's common sense.
If you are sick, see a doctor.
You want to build a bridge, get a engineer
You want to implement a banking system, system network get an IT professional in that area
If you want to absolve or distance yourself from any legal matter, you get a lawyer
Congratulations TSB Another waste of Money
Firstly, WTF does a law firm know about IT systems, Banking platforms, Migrations methodologies, strategies and testing procedures
Secondly, as already mentioned, the number of defects is irrelevant, it is the number of showstoppers. I don't give a damn if there are 5,000 in the queue if they are all category 5 such as "Snr Mgr can't change colour of menu bar". We've all had ones like these. The question that needs to be answered is "How many showstoppers did the decisions makers know about & downgrade so they could meet the go live date and so as to not incur financial penalties?"
Thirdly with statements like this "we specifically asked for a fully independent and thorough inquiry. Although the report doesn't paint the full picture of migration"
If the report doesn't paint a full picture of the migration then "IT"S NOT A FUCKING THOROUGH INQUIRY"
I'm surprised you overpaid wankers can tie your showlaces in the morning.
Finally, If the IT contractors had multiple successes in data migrations before, the argument can simply be made the only variable were the the overpaid tosspots , aka PHB, at TSB.
IBM stands for I Block Money, says sales rep: Big Blue sued yet again by its own staff over 'missing' commissions
The executives have their incentives, stock options, bonuses, gratuites, parachute clauses and pay outs, and every other benefit in a iron clad contract that a team of lawyers poured over and rejected due to a errant comma. The contract now cheiselled into the concrete foundations of IBM headquarters and signed in blood.
Yep no hypocrisy there
Australian law differs greatly. A subpoena issued either to attend court, provide evidence or produce documentation has a date fixed. in cases of production of doucmentation or other material items this is typically this is 5 court days before the next nominated court date. If you fail to attend, produce, etc without reason a first instance warrant is issued for your arrest. You are now fucked, Royally.
I said 'without reason' as you can challenge the scope of the subpoena , particuarly relating to document production. You can issue a notice to challenge prior to the court date, but you still must attend to argue the unreasonableness of the subpoena. There is one exception in all this. You can legally ignore a subpoena if it is served within 24 hours of the date of the next court date on the subpoena. (Sherrif comes around today hands subpoena to attend court tomorrow, relish the moment when you legally tell them "piss off" and close the door in their face)
In cases of non human entities ( companies ) the CEO and nominated legal counsel are responsible for complying with all court orders, subpoena, etc. Failing to do so means the first instance warrant is issued for the CEO.
American Subpoenas appear to the the equivalent of
Please, Pretty Please, Oh come Please, stop being a dick, I'm telling Mummy on you.
Re: Darwin is still a very naughty boy ...
Especially in so-called sciences that end with "...studies"
That's an easy one. Contrary to the belief of those that study and teach it. It is not a science.
Personally studying these, in my opinion, is akin to studying fortune telling and reading tea leaves.
Google forks out $2.1bn for Fitbit – and promises not to exploit all that delicious health data to sling ads (honest)
A stranger's TV went on spending spree with my Amazon account – and web giant did nothing about it for months
Re: The Thrill Is Gone
Still using a Samsung S3, with a spare battery.
Considering the data slurping, the inability to turn off any of the telemetry settings, turning your phone and you into a walking Marketing database managers wet dream. On all the modern phones and version of iOS and Andriod.
You can get my phone when you can pry it from my cold dead hands
Ok that's it.
In the spirit of the Razzies and Darwin awards. I propose a new annual award show. The Golden Oxygen Thief Awards. The statue in the likeness of Trump.
Each year, we, the El Reg community vote on the dumbest, most idiotic statement , proposal or random brain fart publicly stated by an elected Official. We can have differing levels, Local, State, country.
Categories can include,
I'm a tech ignoramus (but I still get to decide how it's used)
My Constituents are made of money (best failed project or waste of public money - proposed by a politician)
I'm in the circus (best backflip on a subject by a poltician)
at 88MpH you'll see some real shit (Best or most backpedals made by a politician after the most idiotic comment made in public)
Dead Parrot (Regardless of the evidence the politician still publicly argues to the contrary)
There would need to be an awards dinner of course, where we can name and shame. I think this could really catch on.
HP scores $176m win in CD-ROM drive price-fix case – after one biz emailed rival with 'Price Fixing' as the subject
HP employees were none the wiser to the scheme, telling the court they felt “betrayed” by people that they had long worked with.
Is that Lawyer speak for
"HP executives were pissed that their auction site idea did not get them the best price possible, whilst still adding a premium charge to the cost of the laptop. Therefore missing their sales/revenue targets and their grossly inflated bonuses. Ultimately leading to the oxygen thieves driving around in last years model BMW or not affording their new yacht. "