* Posts by plrndl

478 posts • joined 11 Feb 2010

Page:

BOFH: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

plrndl
Pint

Workplace Relationships

In my experience, the best interdepartmental workplace relationships occured when the entire workforce was united in a hatred of the senior management. Even the marketing people were part of the Friday night session in the local pub.

Elon Musk had secret twins in 2021 with Neuralink exec

plrndl
Go

Musk for PM

Seems ideally qualified to replace Boris.

FBI and MI5 bosses: China cheats and steals at massive scale

plrndl
Big Brother

Pot? Kettle?

How does that differ from what MI6 and the CIA have been doing since inception?

Sick of Windows but can't afford a Mac? Consult our cynic's guide to desktop Linux

plrndl

TLDR Version

A sensible Linux wannabe will have a quick Google, and discover that most people recommend Mint for newbies.

Original killer PC spreadsheet Lotus 1-2-3 now runs on Linux natively

plrndl

Not Perfect

WordPerfect was popular with two finger typists. For real typists, WordStar was the only choice. Unfortunately, most IT decision makers (ie buyers) belong to the former category, and the latter category (who are mostly female, and did most of the actual typing work) had to suffer with an inferior tool.

Why the Linux desktop is the best desktop

plrndl

Re: If you're daft enough to start with Arch, Slackware, [...] you will get what you deserve.

I too started with Slackware, ZipSlack to be specific, but I had years of UNIX experience. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't recommend Slackware to a NEWBIE today, unless they has a UNIX background.

plrndl
Facepalm

Re: "Linux Desktop"

Multiple distros and desktops is only a problem for the terminally (sorry!) stupid. Any sane Linux newbie will start with a quick google, which will tell him that Linux Mint / Cinnamon is the best beginner's choice. He will then download Mint and boot into it. A quick play will establish if it works with his hardware, in which case he can install it. Simples!

If you're daft enough to start with Arch, Slackware, or some hackers' favourite, you will get what you deserve.

'Bigger is better' is back for hardware – without any obvious benefits

plrndl

Still No Voice Dictation

Most of the people who are smart enough to communicate with a computer directly with language, are already doing so, They're called computer programmers, and they have to be specially educated to do so. Most humans don't have sufficient grasp of the syntax of their native language to communicate clearly with one-another, let alone with a strictly logical computer.

Maybe with another 20 years of development of quantum computing and AI, we will have a computer capable of understanding typical human babble.

Help, my IT team has no admin access to their own systems

plrndl
Pint

Ultimately, all usable IT products are "insecure by design". The trade-off between security and usability is one of the biggest problems our business faces.

The fact that most users and decision makers have zero IT training massively exacerbates this problem.

TGIF.

Fans of original gangster editors, look away now: It's Tilde, a text editor that doesn't work like it's 1976

plrndl

Re: vim? Backslider!

I presume you prefer bang paths to URLs.

When product names go bad: Microsoft's Raymond Chen on the cringe behind WinCE

plrndl
Happy

At Essex University in the 1970's, the University proudly introduced an internal telephone system for the student residential towers. It was of course called the Towers Internal Telephone System. They didn't realise what they had done until after the directories had been printed, with very large initial capitals on the cover. Much merriment ensued amongst the students.

The dark equation of harm versus good means blockchain’s had its day

plrndl
Thumb Down

History Lesson

Criminals / terrorists / pornographers are ALWAYS the first people to exploit any new technology.

That is not a good reason to attack it.

Crypto for cryptographers! Infosec types revolt against use of ancient abbreviation by Bitcoin and NFT devotees

plrndl

Mind Your Language

Specialist terms that become known to the general public via the media WILL be corrupted. There is no escape from this. Language changes. For example idiot, moron, cretin, imbecile, spastic all started life as medical terms for specific conditions. "Paedo" has become a general purpose insult for school children. Life goes on.

You forced me to use this fancypants app and now you're asking for a printout?

plrndl

You believed that? Computerising an imperfect system can only result in errors arising far faster and in far greater magnitude.

plrndl

Plus ca change

For a person born in a previous century, there is something wonderfully reassuring (ie familiar) about a doctor's prescription that cannot be read by modern technology.

BOFH: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

plrndl
Pint

Travaglia for PM

Thank you Simon, for unleashing a tsunami of amusing commentard nonsense. Have a beer on me.

Chocolate beer barred from sale after child mistakes it for chocolate milk

plrndl
Pint

Re: Beer Definition: Hops

Originally in the UK, ale was brewed from water, malt and yeast. Beer was ale flavoured with hops. Other flavourings produced ales, not beer.

More recently the definitions have become somewhat muddied. Young's, for example refer to their draught beers as "ales", while their honey flavoured product (bought in from a deceased brewery) is called a beer!

Scientists reckon eliminating COVID-19 will be easier than polio, harder than smallpox – just buckle in for a wait

plrndl
Big Brother

Till Death Do Us Part

The medical industry makes vast profits from treatment of illness, NOT from curing it. A patient cured is a customer lost.

This is the fundamental problem that needs to be addressed before we can expect technology to give us better health.

Meanwhile, I'm off to the pub. Got to keep my spirits up.

Global tat supply line clogged as Suez Canal authorities come to aid of wedged 18-brontosaurus container ship

plrndl

Re: I am most disappointed...

So. it was a colossal cock-up.

NHS looks to the market for advice on one system to replace two separate, giant Oracle ERP and HR systems

plrndl

Translation: "Throwing billions of taxpayers' money at imaginary "solutions" is the new black in Boris's government, and we want a piece (a BIG piece) of the action"

What a Hancock-up: Excel spreadsheet blunder blamed after England under-reports 16,000 COVID-19 cases

plrndl
Joke

Re: 'spreadsheet software as "human middleware" in the sector'

WHAT'S WRONG WITH FORTRAN IV?

Venerable text editor GNU Nano reaches version 5.0 and adds the modern frippery that is scrollbars

plrndl

We're not all two finger typists. Function keys are a PIA for touch typists.

Contact-tracer spoofing is already happening – and it's dangerously simple to do

plrndl
Pint

Beer

Free beer?

Right now it's way past beer o'clock on Friday, and I'd be a sucker for anyone who could tell me where to get paid beer.

(And I don't mean that garbage that comes in cans!)

We strained our eyes with Lenovo's monster monitor: 43.4 inches for price of five 24" screens

plrndl
Pint

I have a couple of second hand Dell 24 inchers that give me 3840 x 1200 for £70. I shall not be upgrading any time soon.

I say, it's beer o;clock. Must be going.

Gospel according to HPE: And lo, on the 32,768th hour did thy SSD give up the ghost

plrndl
FAIL

Validation of the supplier's part

If HP can screw up the due dilligence on a multi-billion dollar acquisition, what hope do we have for a cheap, replaceable component?

The wheels on the bus go round and... Oh dear. Chancellor Sajid Javid unveils spending review

plrndl

London's Experience

In the short period when Boris was Mayor of London, he increased bus fares by over 50%.

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot

plrndl

Abort, Retry, Fail?

Given the Microsoft connection, I suggest:

Old Dosser

Iran is doing to our networks what it did to our spy drone, claims Uncle Sam: Now they're bombing our hard drives

plrndl
FAIL

Surprise!

So, you employ vast armies of people who have never had even a minute of formal computer training, stick them is sensitive government and government support jobs, and give then a powerful, internet connected PC.

What could possibly go wrong?

Um, I'm not that Gary, American man tells Ryanair after being sent other Gary's flight itinerary

plrndl

I used to have a problem with an American namesake using my gmail account, mostly for porn sites.

He got the message when I changed his NetFlix password, and cancelled the account. Unfortunately I still get masses of spam as a result of his activities.

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

plrndl

THINK of the Children

I should just like to point out that the nonsensical idea that children should be kept ignorant about sexuality until they are old enough to marry, was created by paedophiles in the Christian church, because naive children are easier to seduce and manipulate.

Holy moley! The amp, kelvin and kilogram will never be the same again

plrndl

Re: Filthy SI Units

Presumably, post Brexit, we will revert to the avoirdupois "system" which as any fule kno, is based on peas, pounds and ounces (1 pea ~ 0.23gm). Who needs froggy measurements?

plrndl
Pint

Avoirdupois

I am disappointed to see that no-one has translated this article into proper el reg units.

Standards are falling.

I'm off to the pub.

Oi, you. Equifax. Cough up half a million quid for fumbling 15 million Brits' personal info to hackers

plrndl
Unhappy

Re: GDPR can't Fix this

If you're using Windows and other MS software in a business environment where you have access to confidential data, you deserve everything you get.

Australia blocks Huawei, ZTE from 5G rollout

plrndl
Big Brother

5 Ears?

I strongly suspect the the real reason is the absence of back doors in Chinese equipment.

Amazon, ditch us? But they can't do without us – Oracle

plrndl

Re: Of course they're still spending...

"Sure, and when Amazon is the only retailer left, come and tell us how you are enjoying their prices, once they no longer have to undercut anyone."

In business, your profit margin is your competitor’s collateral. No-one could get backing to compete with Amazon, when it had 0% profit margin. If Amazon reaches a monopoly position and hikes its prices, competitors will rapidly emerge.

Select few to watch World Cup in 4K high dynamic range colour on BBC iPlayer

plrndl
FAIL

Re: Yeah...

Judging by current performance, Liberty will take F1 down-market until the sponsors quit, then sell it at a huge loss.

Ferrari and friends will start a new series.

Crypto-gurus: Which idiots told the FBI that Feds-only backdoors in encryption are possible?

plrndl

Re: Please also ask T May

The votes are in "being seen to do something about it". There are far fewer votes in "doing something effective".

plrndl
Facepalm

Phase 2

OK, so you've got your magic impossible encryption.

How do you propose to make the black hats use it?

Chrome adblockalypse will 'accelerate Google-Facebook duopoly'

plrndl
Thumb Up

Can Spam

Most advertisers are stuck in 1950's TV mode where you spam people as relentlessly as you can afford. This is no longer acceptable, and this is what Google is tackling. Advertisers need to recognise that targeted advertising is the only way forward. Facebook in particular has enormous capability to target ads, so that punters are unlikely to see ads for stuff in which they have no interest. Unfortunately for the advertising industry,this means sobering up and doing some work.

Basket case lawsuit: Fancy fruit florists flail Google over rotten ads, demand $200m damages

plrndl
Thumb Down

Pot? Meet Kettle

If you use generic English words as your trading name, in the hope of getting a free ride from Google, you should not be surprised when your competitors try to outrank you by paying Google for advertising their alternatives.

You can't find tech staff – wah, wah, wah. Start with your ridiculous job spec

plrndl
WTF?

"Skills Gap"

I once saw a modest IT job, at an extremely modest salary, advertised in the London Evening Standard. The list of requirments was so long, that literally no-one alive could possibly have ahcieved them.

Hate to break it to you, but billions of people can see Uranus tonight

plrndl
Pint

Re: Uranus's Moon

Bottoms up!

plrndl
FAIL

Avoirdupois

" 18.91 astronomical units"?

This is The Register. Let's have some proper el reg units.

'Don't Google Google, Googling Google is wrong', says Google

plrndl

Next up against the wall

...and gifting.

Sacre bleu! Apple's high price, marginal gain iPhone strategy leaves it stuck in the mud

plrndl

Documentation

It's a long time since I've used closed source software, but I seem to recall that if you wanted documentation you had to buy a book that cost almost as much as the software, and was probably two versions out of date. The last time I bought software with proper documentation is was, dare I say it, MS DOS.

plrndl
Pint

Re: £1,149 why do the stupid people have all the money goddamnit!!!

That's actually the wrong question. The smart question is "why don't the smart people have all the money?"

I think I'll go and ask around in the pub.

They say we're too mean to Microsoft. Well, how about this... Redmond just had a stonking year. And only 8% tax. Whee!

plrndl
Pint

Re: Thoughts on tax avoidance

I don't understand people who criticise companies for obeying tax law.

If you have a problem with the way tax law works, you should direct your ire at the people who created that law.

And the idiots who voted for them.

I'm off the the pub, which is the proper place to discuss these things.

BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

plrndl

And if it turns out he's on 7...or a non-Windows machine?

That's no reason to not blame Microsoft.

plrndl
Pint

Best BOFH ever.

Have a beer on me.

It's time for a long, hard mass debate over sex robots, experts conclude

plrndl

that's held up to recent research

Don't put too much faith in research. Most "research" is skewed to fit a pre-determined conclusion.

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