* Posts by Alan Dougherty

127 posts • joined 22 May 2007


Game denies Steam threat claims

Alan Dougherty

Boycott Game

I haven't set foot in a Game store in years, ever since they reduced the PC section to 3 shelves, stocking nothing but 5 year old budget games, and Flight Sim / Train Sim add-ons.

If they think I'm going to bother trying their download service, when they clearly abandoned the PC gamer years ago, then the upper management must be truly delusional.

Swede cuffed for cooking nuclear reactor on kitchen stovetop

Alan Dougherty

Pickard would be proud...


The second to last word of the second paragragh, should, obviously, have been fusion, and not fission.

And on a second watch.. is he really waving test-tubes about, as evidence?.. Lordy.. he's put that much evort in to the video, he should have went for a Zero-Point 'rig' and solved our energy problems before breakfast.

Another facepalm is needed....

Alan Dougherty


Ahh.. I don't know where to start with that video.. or how to tell you that you have been trolled.. and trolled hard.. or are infact, trying too hard to troll yourself..

Basement [b]fusion[/b].. Really? It took the worlds greatest minds decades to get uncontrolled fission possible, and you think a teenager, with some vacuum pumps, some HVAC control switches, and a good patter = fission? Really?

Can we get a facepalm icon? Oh.. here it is...

Peugeot 508 Active e-HDI micro-hybrid

Alan Dougherty

French cars

I've been given many french cars, of various makes, to drive since the mid 90's.

Every single one has come a cropper with bad electrical systems.. no expections.. one even went on fire.

Every family member that has had a French car, since about the the same time, has had multiple eletrical issues, ranging from, battery draining overnight (cause found to be a short in the interior lighting loom), power steering failure (common fault in Peugeots, generally a bad connection in steering wheel), shorts in the horn system (caused by a common fault in an electrical ring around the driver airbag) etc etc...

I run a fleet of vans, and I just cannot justify buying anything French, due to the crap I've had to deal with, with their cars..

This may well be well trimmed and economical.. but after 4-5 years, I'll bet you'll have a hard time selling them on, when you need, or people know you need, expensive electric work.

Double-clicking patent takes on world

Alan Dougherty

re : Insuffcicient penalty

>If they issue a bogus patent, then have to refund the fees later, they are no worse off than if they had not issued at all.'

Not so.. if you employ people, to take other peoples money, and use that to pay your staff, then find you have to refund said monies, you are still paying for your staff / admin for the processing.

They would be out of business pretty quickly, if they where not carefull enough to only grant patents that can stand up in court.

The 'refund patent costs' actually seems a reasonable middle ground to slap the Patent Office around the head with, until they start getting off the 'job for life' bandwagon.

BAA accused of banning passengers from filming travel chaos

Alan Dougherty

@My Alter Ego

I'd seriously doubt that the help offered by HMG would be free..

More just, 'here's some boots on the ground, tell them what you need done; they bring their own equipment, bills in the mail'..

Nothing is free..

Las Vegas death ray roasts hotel guests

Alan Dougherty

re:Open the windows

Yes, that actually is a bit too simple...

Vegas hotel windows do not open.. due to the penchant of, suddenly lighter in the pocket guests, attempting to fly.

HP purges Cisco gear from data centers

Alan Dougherty

re:Calling the sub-editor!

I'd assume, that the context is actually taken from the previous paragraph.. making the whole read as such...

'The latest shots in the ongoing server-networking war between HP and Cisco came ahead of HP's financial analyst meeting tomorrow and likely ahead of the appointment of a new president, CEO, and chairman for the IT giant.

HP has been in the switching business since founding its networking division in 1979 within its Data Systems Division in 1979, so in a sense, Cisco started it by founding itself in 1984.'

This would imply that Cisco started the server-networking war, by being the latter to market..

It's the paragraph break that causes the confusion, as it doesn't refer back to the 'war' from the above paragraph, despite a fairly lengthy tangent about meetings and CEO's..

I think.

Hup Holland, viva España

Alan Dougherty
Thumb Up

An orange 11th July?

Holland had better bloody win.. I stuck a tenner on them after reading the first article.. got good odds too.


Oz driver prangs ute during 'amorous activities'

Alan Dougherty


According to ntnews, 'He was charged with drink-driving after blowing'

Surely that should be 'during'?

Virgin cops to bad routing

Alan Dougherty

Belfast problems

I've been getting random failures in Belfast, for the past few weeks... everything fine, then 5 mins of no DNS, then back to normal for 20 mins or so..

This all started happening just after they said they where upgrading the 2mb lines to 10mb, looks like botched upgrades, without enough bandwidth to deal with the increased traffic..

Maybe time to move to Sky...

US bank deposits checks via iPhone camera

Alan Dougherty


This would be a God send for me, as a business customer to banks..

Every fucking day I have to stand in a massive queue, with multiple deposit slips filled out for bank cheques, sent to me from customers, both in the UK and in the Euro zone, because they do not support BACS, and I can't afford the bank charges to setup Direct Debits as the reciever.

Now, if I could sit at my desk (if I'm doing paper work) or in my van (if I'm on the road), scan/photo the cheques, and then rip them up after a confirmation, then I'd be well happy...

PRIVATE cheques are dead.. business cheques are very much alive (the best ones come from the American Embassy.. possibly the most impressive envelope I've ever seen)...

Office admin sacked for Blears abuse

Alan Dougherty
Black Helicopters

@ Unfair dismissal claims

She's shit out of luck on that one, as she was working there for under the required 12 months needed, to be legaly able to bring up any employment dispute action.

But certainly, I would love to know WHY they traced an anonymous comment.

Oh, and surely Civil Servants have to maintain political neutrality, when in an offical capacity. In private, they can vote for who they like and tell their neighbours that the whole bunch of unelected criminals deserve to be strung up with pianowire; and I would consider an anonymous posting as a private matter.

Texas cop tasers gobby granny

Alan Dougherty
Thumb Down

@Skyraker - Really?

'It would have been less painful / torture to have brained her with his truncheon.'

So you think physical blows to the head of a pensioner is less harmfull than a tasering? Tell that to the famlies of 30 year old males that have died by head trauma in simple fist fights.. you want to bludgeon old ladies? what does that say? Hoon.

Old age makes bones brittle.. that includes the skull.. thank fuck you're not a copper.. or are you? Been in any kettles lately?

Alan Dougherty
Thumb Up

@Mat B

Exactly.. whats more dangerous?.. A deranged old lady pushing and shoving someone (anyone) on a hard shoulder, or taking them down quickly before there's two fatalities?

If he had went in physically, then the lefties would cry 'brutiality'; he went in with a taser, so the lefties cry 'brutality'. If he had let her loose to run around her car, there might have been two funerals to attend for family and friends.

Rock and hard place.. He was on a hiding to nothing in that case.. you can also see that he has his back to the road, to stop the mad biddy from running on to it.

NOTE TO ALL DRIVERS - Sign the tickets, say yes Sir, Thank you Sir, Three Bags Fulls Sir, and fuck off home. If you feel you're hard done by, get a solicitor to sort it out after.. don't get yourself, or anybody else killed by arguing there and then*.

*Unless you're on crack and are transporting 40k's of quality homegrown... I like to watch a good high speed pursuit as much as the next man.

Can we have a Taser icon?

One millionth English 'word' is... Web 2.0

Alan Dougherty


'Accept a neologism "once it's clocked up 25,000 deployments in the media, social networking sites, and other hotbeds of linguistic creation"'

So when does 'Hoon' get a mention then? I think there are plenty of hoons out there that should be rewarded.

In the words of Brick Vader.. 'You fucking Hoon'.

Palm Pre's inner iPhone revealed

Alan Dougherty
Paris Hilton


I hate Apple, and I own no other Apple products. I hate Jobs. I hate Gates, yet, due to being a gaming slacker, I have to use his bastard OS. I have never used any phone other than a Nokia or a Samsung since 1997.

Got an iPhone last year.

It's solid. It doesnt 'creak' when handled. It's UI is not just easy, it's fun, esp. when jailbroke.. which says more for the hardware than the software. I dont use the camera. I have a proper camera for pictures, because it's a phone. Oh, and on business tariffs, it's about the same price as any other top line mobile.

As much as I dislike both Jobs and Gates, the iPhone has not been surpassed as a mobile hardware platform.. yet.

Safari could use multiple tweaks, like not auto-refreshing pages, and not replacing view to top left after page load, since you're already reading and scrolling before it finishes loading.. but that's not a hardware issue.


Paris, because she knows not to refresh before you're finished.

Backup firm sues Intel, Microsoft, HP, Dell, Acer...

Alan Dougherty


I remember old tosh laptops having a partitioned recovery drive from OEM setup, to restore without needing to use supplied discs.. timeline would be around 1995(ish)..

Damn I miss tosh lappy's.. you could kick them down the stairs, then jump on them after.. and still they would laugh at your futile attempts to get a warranty claim. Even had a BBC reporter come to us to fit more RAM to his 'hardened' tosh.. just a pity we couldn't physicaly open the metal armoured case to do the job.

It is irrelevent that these guys have a working business model.. as there is far too much prior art to validate the patent. That's why everybody they have been in contact with has looked at it and went.. 'no thanks'..

They might not look like trolls, but I bet their offices are still under a bridge.. and they just can't help but jump out every now and then (like when banks cancel their overdrafts)...


Amazon peddles Prince for pence

Alan Dougherty

Tell them..

if it means that the Puerile Purple Pricks Preposterous Pretend Pop Pontifications are off line for two minutes, then it would be worth it..

Won't somebody think of the childern (that have all their ribs)?

Internet gambling mogul surrenders $300m in guilty plea

Alan Dougherty


I caught this news on the Beeb first, and immediatly ran over here to see if there where any comments.. for the obvious reason of the above posts :)

Does this guy get laughed at every time he boards a plane?

Jacqui Smith denies any knowledge of police search

Alan Dougherty

@AC 13:40



E-voting glitches hamper elections in seven states

Alan Dougherty
Paris Hilton

@Might it be

As much that I might agree with your sentiments..

[quote]Thank you, Engerland. Your Westminster System, like your automobiles, is clunky and not at all sexy but it works - reliable so long as you dont keep trying to take corners at high speed or turn the air conditioning on at the same time as the radio. Reliable for realists.[/quote]

Cant take corners? Isn't sexy? WTF?

Aston Martin? Clunky Lotus? Nobel?

And you compare that to, what? The Chevy (Buy one get one free)? Crysler [Crashme] Crossfire?

Maybe your 'new and improved GT40' that isn't 40 inches high anymore, to allow fat asses like Clarkson to get in them, could cut the mustard.. but really.. it's a little too late to be re-designing 1960's classics... did you see a new E-Type floating past at the lights on the way to work today?

As far as 'automobiles'.. commonly called 'cars' in the real world, go.. I'd think that any 'crap' some farmer manages to cobble together in a shed in Whiltshire would happly spank your uber-cornering, sexy, air-con, radio blasting, hillbilly wagons.

In reference to democracy... Gordon Clown wasn't even elected.. so you have us there..

Paris.. because shes likes a good spanking....

Hasbro kills Colonel Mustard in the corporate office with the marketing ploy

Alan Dougherty

RE: this bites

There is no real 'Clue'.. it's just a bastardisation :)

Mines the one with the revolver, smelling slightly of cordite, in the pocket.

EVE Online update kills Windows PCs

Alan Dougherty
Paris Hilton

Not the first..

Un-installing Test Drive Unlimited is worse. It has a 50% chance of deleting EVERY file in your 'c:\'..

Atari's fix for it? Copy all the files in your root before you un-install, and copy back after..

And they still haven't patched it after nearly a year.

Not fun if you didn't know about the issue in the first place.

Fixing it is easy enough tho.. you can just boot to recovery console from your XP CD and rebuild from there with no re-install. Although you will still have lost every file that was in your root.

Paris Hilton was the closest icon I could see for 'useless muppets'.

Darling admits Revenue loss of 25 million personal records

Alan Dougherty


Maybe Gordon might what to have another look at that E-Petition against a national ID scheme. I seem to remember his predecessor trying to allay fears about security, with the words, 'rigidly controlled'.

Who's gonna be the first MP in Parliament to stand up, point at the big commie and shout 'HA! Told ya!'?

Droid pilots beat humans at air-to-air refuelling

Alan Dougherty

For those interested... Vulcan 607

Anybody interested in the history of in-flight refuelling, from our side (British), has got to read 'Vulcan 607', by Rowland White. Ascension to Falklands and back with boom and probe, in storms, with the usual, British, cock up of mis-caculation makes it one of my top ten books of all time.

Royal Marine helmet-cam auteur hit during Afghan gunfight

Alan Dougherty

RE : Vehicles

The Marnies would probably be using Landrovers.. but it looks like they where operating with Afghan forces as well, so there could be any number of random trucks and flat beds rolling about.



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