Posts by Jon of Monkeys

Seagate squirts out rectal cleaning spray

Application...

Worryingly, observing the packaging, it looks like an additional person might be required to apply the product. Perhaps this is for accuracy and to avoid unnecessary spraying of regular skin.

You'd have to be incredibly close to have that kind of forgiving relationship.

Navy Carriers: We want two or no votes for you, Tories

Well said!

What, I imagine, most of the public are thinking. But then, who in goverment listens to reason?

Man ordered to pay Facebook $1bn

Banned from Facebook

Hardly a penalty, more like they are doing him a favour.

Why does Facebook get a pay off, and not users that may have been tormented by the actions of these individuals?

Oscars can Sacha Baron Cohen Avatar skit

If there is anything worse...

...than people claiming someone isn't funny, just because he/she doesn't suit their humour. It's using someones or somethings name and replacing words to make it sound derogatory (I'm looking at you Stuart Elliott) Seems like the lowest form of wit to me.

Ok, so I'm not really a fan of Sacha's sense of humour either, doesn't mean he isn't funny. His box office records speak volumes for that.

Jobs: I'll decide what to do with Apple's $40bn cash pile

Bank it...

Take the daily interest, split it in half, use one half for the advancement of new products. Take the second half and give it to a random member of the public. Disclaimer that they must spend a proportion of it on Apple products for themselves and their friends.

Sorted! Wheres that marketing director application form?

WALL-E spaceliner smart hoverchairs debut in Japan

But

WALL-E was a documentary on the pit falls of becoming too dependant of technology. Should we not learn from these lessons, so as not succumb to the same fate as our predecessors?

Do not build the damn chairs!! We've seen what happens, arrogant fools!

Firm grows multi-touch see-through 'skin' for gadgets

I was going to suggest the same thing

Unless all the previous posters are deluded by the concept of social interaction.

Steve Jobs dubs Google's 'don't be evil' motto 'bulls**t'

I missed something

I wasn't aware that Apple is and always has been a producer of phones. You know, because that's the only way he could make such claims without being a complete hippocrit.

French mock British G-spot probe

Haha

"Look at me, I know where it is, wooooo"

Nice one guys!

P.s. Nobody cares

Swedish necrophiliacs in fake Facebook fundraiser

I'm sorry...

...The Swedish Necrophilia Association???

I imagine a stunt like this, will have grave reprecussions for them.