* Posts by Robert Ramsay

575 publicly visible posts • joined 25 Sep 2006

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Farewell then, Symbian

Robert Ramsay

Psion engineers

"Perhaps the Symbian Foundation should recruit retired Psion engineers! No joking, Psion not only had innovation but they had engineering as well. We need a leader with Vision and passion - again perhaps some old Psion people :-)"

Charles, is that you? :-)

Ransomware Trojan code break 'impractical'

Robert Ramsay

why not...?

(assuming the decryption utility even exists)

just pay a single ransom and get a copy to reverse engineer?

Edinburgh Fringe ticket site dead as a parrot

Robert Ramsay

so can you confirm...

whether it actually runs on Windows or not?

Social networking site bans oldies over sex offender fears

Robert Ramsay

Wasn't this just...

...designed as free publicity for a sagging social network site?

The easiest way of getting publicity is to phone up and complain about yourself.

The second easiest way is to do something that will get a bunch of other suckers to do it for you.

Christian Bale signs for Terminator trilogy

Robert Ramsay
Boffin

@michael

"TYME SEFARI INC.

SEFARIS TU ANY YEER EN THE PAST.

YU NAIM THE ANIMALL.

WEE TAEK YU THAIR.

YU SHOOT ITT."

Broadband bumpkins overtake city surfers

Robert Ramsay
Black Helicopters

that graph...

...strangely seems to be in NTL's old colours...

Union gears up for BT strike action this month

Robert Ramsay

I don't normally answer a barking dog...

...but with regard to

Unions are a relic of the past - and part of a broken mindset that people "deserve" a job and are entitled to share in company profits

I think you'll find they're part of a seemingly obsolete mindset that says you're entitled not to be fucked up the arse by the people you work for.

I really despise some of the "Pavlov's frothing dogs" who comment on these pages.

Why have Radiohead broken copyright activists' hearts?

Robert Ramsay
Alert

It's the Marketing, stupid...

People only have a limited amount of attention. Most of the people who have heard our band (Tinyfish) have said "Hey, that sounds really good!" - but you need something like a record company if you want more than a few hundred people to hear it. Or spend all your time promoting it to the world (I'm reminded of the Blues Brothers driving around with a loudspeaker on top of the car...)

It's just a shame the record companies don't take more chances rather than just slavishly capitalise on their few successful happy accidents.

Mel Gibson to star in Edge of Darkness

Robert Ramsay

I don't care

I have the original on DVD already.

Homeland Security takes pity on terror list Ted Kennedys

Robert Ramsay

time for the old trick...

rename yourself Mr. Drop Database;

Spike Milligan goes mobile

Robert Ramsay

Good old Spike!

"Milligan, what would you do if you found the enemy raping your grandmother?"

"I'd wait til he'd finished, then, I'd bury her again."

Final beta of Firefox 3 available now

Robert Ramsay
Joke

FF3

The last boss is really hard and I used lots of Phoenix Downs...

US auto-emissions cleansed in urine-tech shower

Robert Ramsay
Coat

"qualified technicians"

"Its 28-litre tank of golden AdBlue is enough to go 28000km, seemingly, so Mercedes don't expect that customers will need to top it up themselves. This will be done by technicians during routine servicing."

I hope the container inlet is at waist height.

'Suspicious comment' provokes LAX terminal evacuation

Robert Ramsay
Joke

obviously...

He was shouting "The government is barmy!"

He was fined $50 for a breach of the peace, and sentenced to 20 years for revealing a state secret.

iRobot inks deal for laser-radar droidvision sensors

Robert Ramsay

Why on earth...

...is this being reported in the Christian Science Monitor?

The 'blem wit' error messages

Robert Ramsay

on a Unix machine in the mid-eighties...

...a friend of mine typed

shergar

of course, the system responded with

shergar: not found

Apple on the lookout for one million unlocked iPhones

Robert Ramsay

Occam's Razor

Isn't it easier to consider the possibility that Apple has massively overestimated the number of phones it has sold? Or that (as the Reg has previously pointed out) the great majority of those 1m missing phones are still sitting in warehouses somewhere (presumably next to the Ark of the Covenant) ?

Commuter jetpacks offered: $100k, August delivery

Robert Ramsay

I'm thinking more of Ghostbusters

Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.

Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.

Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Sun's war against clarity and business continues

Robert Ramsay

Cinque = amanfrommars

only Sun's spell check has filtered out all the spurious capital letters.

eBay's CEO throws in the three kitchen towels in a jute bag - $4.99

Robert Ramsay
Joke

This quarter's special offer...

$9 billion, but to you, $8.5!

Mandriva and TurboLinux unveil 10-person strong Manbo

Robert Ramsay

I think it was Scott Adams

"If you want to look like a management genius, centralise everything that is decentralised, and decentralise everything that is centralised. And then six months later do it all again"

Hungarians unleash dog bark translator

Robert Ramsay

Gary Larson was first...

...His dog translator worked perfectly - all the dogs were running around saying "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"

Boffins: Antimatter comes from black holes, neutron stars

Robert Ramsay

Black holes make antimatter

I was under the impression that this happened when one of a pair of virtual particles was sucked into the black hole, and the other escaped. 50% of the time the particle that escapes will be an antiparticle.

Save the BBC - by setting it free

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Down

Denationalisation

Whenever public services are sold off for profit, it is always the customer that suffers.

Amazon's $399 folly book reader

Robert Ramsay

One question...

If it's a book, why does it have a keyboard?

Mozilla hits back at Firefox 3 quality slur

Robert Ramsay
Joke

I may be wrong...

but wasn't use of Beta Blockers made illegal?

Start-up aims nanotube memory at iPods, phones and servers

Robert Ramsay

Stopping global warming

just turn all the carbon dioxide into nanotubes and oxygen, and the world's computers become a carbon sink to rival the Amazon rainforest (which will be about the size of my garden at this point)

Multics source code released into the wild

Robert Ramsay

@simon Ward

you are correct - remember these are the kind of people that designed a TCP/IP network that runs using carrier pigeons :-)

The Champions heads for the silver screen

Robert Ramsay

the Avengers

I must be the only person in the world to have enjoyed the Avengers film.

I thought they got the style of it pretty right - and let's face it, it was never going to be about the "substance", was it?

Plus it managed to embarrass me in a German Cinema.

Uma Thurman: "Rain - it's underrated"

Sher Shean: "Take India for example - you can get twelve inches in one night."

I laughed out loud at this blatent innuendo. I was the only one.

I told one of my German mates, and he said "They didn't really mean *that*, did they?"

Babbling net software sparks international incident

Robert Ramsay

More applicable DNA...

"A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Dutch, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the Israeli journalist leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green sweet-smelling steam, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the creature to take back what it had said about his mother."

Record industry pushes ISPs to cut off file sharers

Robert Ramsay

@Smell My Finger

Nice troll.

Dell debuts XPS desktop for video buffs

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Down

@Will

You are quite correct - how can this be considered a serious machine if it only has Elements on it?

Technology is root of all evil, says IMF

Robert Ramsay

YES IT'S A JOKE

That is all, thank you.

Finger-chopping jihadis derail MPs scanner system, claims MoS

Robert Ramsay
Happy

@TeeCee

"Incidently, the thing I found most amusing about the "Mythbusters" analysis was that the $20 USB fingerprint reader took some serious jiggery-pokery to fool, but the umpteen-thousand-dollar high-security biometric lock that they were building up to opened like a charm to the basic photocopied fingerprint."

Didn't this happen to Parker in Thunderbirds?

Mobile phones soon to be allowed on aircraft

Robert Ramsay

so what's changed since 2003?

in 2003, a study showed that mobile phones could cause errors of up to 5 degrees in navigational equipment - have phones really magically changed that much in that time? I'm sure the planes' navigational equipment hasn't...

Alien attack? Yes, we're ready for anything

Robert Ramsay
Alien

We'll make great pets

...as Porno for Pyros put it

Swearing at work 'good for business'

Robert Ramsay
Thumb Up

Arse-biscuits

...is, I am reliably informed, the most amusing swearword ever.

EMI 'goes indie'

Robert Ramsay

I thought this article...

was just an excuse to sneak a few group names into the text. I spotted A-Ha and "Dead or Alive" - I'm sure you could have got Neutral Milk Hotel in there if you'd tried a little harder...

Student suspended in gun rights email row

Robert Ramsay

Good grief...

I was more shocked and horrified by some of the responses in the comments than by the original article...

Zep promoter piles into eBay

Robert Ramsay
Joke

It's obvious!

...all we have to do is put an RFID chip in the ticket and link it to your biometric government provided ID!

Sun patches multiple flaws in Java

Robert Ramsay

David Byrne?

"This not my beautiful application - this is not my beautiful server!"

Microsoft-loving (former) security czar calls for closed internet

Robert Ramsay

What if...

"What if we had a champion in the government who we trusted on privacy rights and civil liberties? What if we had a government advocate with real power to ensure that the government doesn't violate privacy rights."

*Clarke points to self and clears throat repeatedly*

Japanese wrinklies spurn robot helpers

Robert Ramsay

RE: @Alan Donaly

At least he's stopped posting from a Commodore 64.

PC superstore refuses to take sack in hand

Robert Ramsay

As I always say...

...you can tell how stupid someone is by how stupid *they* think *you* are...

A couple of my experiences in PC World have left me open mouthed. One guy admitted to me that they had no idea what products they would stock from one week to the next. Apparently it all arrived on some fucking magic carpet from LaLa land.

Maddy: TV torture for the ADD generation

Robert Ramsay

And the media doesn't give a monkeys...

...about any of the other children who disappear every day, whose parents aren't nice middle class white people who can get an audience with the Pope.

I'll go have a lie down now.

Sony Ericsson loses head

Robert Ramsay

more surely...

Sony Ericsson gets Dick head...

'Happy slapping' vids prompt Brown to push net filters

Robert Ramsay

and as if by magic...

http://plif.andkon.com/archive/wc161.gif

Microsoft to buy chinwag platform Parlano

Robert Ramsay

"unfied"

...instead of "unified"

Freudian slip?

Boffins bend space and time to measure neutron star

Robert Ramsay

Now all we have to do...

...is glue a few together and keep them spinning...

http://prola.aps.org/abstract/PRD/v9/i8/p2203_1

So, what's the velocity of a sheep in a vacuum?

Robert Ramsay

I never knew...

...that Verity Stob was in fact Lester and Lucy!

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